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His Puppy Love
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Author :: JeonJudisu
Reviewer :: wuwtaetae

First Impression :: 8/20

» Cover :: 4/10
I think you should really change up your cover. I like what you've done with Jimin, the puppy ears and fangs (dogs have shorter teeth than in the pic though) but he's so distant that I have to look for the details. You need to up your picture quality too. Please, please, change your font. It's a request from me. It's as basic as basic can get, and I can't even see it completely! No pink color either. I don't see this particular pink working with any color, really. You know what would be good for your book, though? Jimin with the same edit but better picture quality, zoomed in or zoomed out in a way you have space to put your title there. If you like pink, go for a pastel one, try to see if it pops out against the background. The cover as a whole is very unappealing so remember, the marks I give you are for puppy minnie.

» Title :: 3/5
I think it's cute, fits the story and everything but where's the creativity? I searched 'his puppy love' and there were so many books that came up. Having a unique name is a plus because if you do have one, your book is going to pop up when people search for it. The searches do not show me your book because, well, why show yours when there are loads of books with the same name? It's a competitive world and to be a recognized author in wattpad, you've gotta up your game.

» Blurb :: 1/5
Well, let's get to the grammar part first. Comma after now, period after all, comma after okay, comma after baby, period mark after leash. Now that this is cleared, let's move on to what the blurb is, as a whole. I couldn't understand what the story was about from reading it. When I buy books, I always, always read the summary. When I read books online, I always read the summary and tags before starting the actual book. People want to know what you'll give them if they start reading, they want an essence of the book. A good summary in my point of view, actually summarizes the book, leaving the plot twists at the end for the readers to wonder what would've happened so that they read your book. I wanna see that. I don't get the storyline from it, it doesn't pique my curiosity. I think you definitely should change it.

Beginning of a new start :: 3/10

Starting novels with a bang is a necessity. If your first chapters are boring then you wouldn't have people coming back for the future chapters. You want to become famous, constant updates. You want to be good, constant improvising. I think starting the book with Jimin having that little conversation with Taehyung would've been a better start. Starting the book with the native asking if they were okay though, it would've been amazing.

There are a couple of more ideas on how you could start it. Say, starting it with Jimin's thoughts or just him looking at Yoongi and describing him smoking would've been interesting. I've already subconsciously given you four scenes that'd make a good start. So, yes, there are a lot of ways to start a book. Get creative with it, go crazy.

All scenes before Yoongi are redundant. It's not like you have to make the main characters meet in the first chapter, it's just that if a book would make sense and work even without a scene, that scene is considered redundant. Just get to the point. I think the first scene with the teacher was fine because it showed Jimin's personality. Mr. Koo later entered the story too so it's fine. The other scenes after that though, it wasn't necessary. Unnecessary scenes don't help you grow. Just throw away what's not absolutely needed.

Concept and plot :: 9/25

Well, it's just a good boy liking a bad boy. That's all I got from reading seven chapters. I didn't even get a proper blurb that could help me understand if I've got it right. I didn't have anything in the title indicating what ship the book was about. I think you should focus more on originality. There are a lot of nerd×bad boy, nerd×jock books. Why should I read yours? Give me a reason. Also, make it as realistic as possible. You don't just make out with someone, you don't just get hated by someone without a reason. Moreover, you don't discover a formula in a day. A whole formula. A math formula. Which works. In a day. I don't think I have anything more to say.

Characters and emotions :: 3/15

Well, I liked Taehyung's character. I'd rather read Taehyung sass all day than read about Jimin reading and writing. He was interesting. He's the one who actually had a character to him. Jimin is just, well, Jimin discovered a new formula because he got inspired by Yoongi being decisive. What more do I need to say? I don't understand him one bit. Yoongi's character is okay too. He smokes, he's a jock, wants to be a musician, very impulsive. I get him. But he needs more depth. His character needs more development. Look into Jimin's character. Who's he really? The emotions. I don't think I felt any emotions because there wasn't really anything emotional that could possibly make me emotional. You really need to work on your emotions. They're just lacking.

Tone and style :: 2/10

The transition? It's just not smooth at all, but not in a rough way like most books are. In fact, it's so very smooth that I can't identify when the next scene has come up. I thought it was the same scene until I'm halfway through the next scene. I can't distinguish between them. It's hard. The time skips. Lord, please tell us how many days or weeks or whatever has passed before showing their sudden humongous development. I understand it's how you picture it in your head, but we only know what we can see, and what can we see? It's what you tell us. We won't know what's happening until you tell us. The lack of description makes it so difficult to imagine anything. Work on details. Keep improvising.

Grammar :: 18/20

Your grammar wasn't bad at all. It was actually good. The only issue was commas mostly. You don't use commas after a dialogue if you're not going to mention who said that dialogue. You don't use commas after a dialogue if what you're going to mention is the action they're doing and not necessarily who said it. Commas are missing in some places too. Use grammarly for that. Rectify that and you'll be fine.

Extra Note :: Plan your book out. I mean, yes, everybody makes mistakes but if you care enough you'll rectify it. Even I make mistakes, my fellow reviewers do, professional authors do. It doesn't matter. What matters though is what you take from this to the future. Your grammar isn't bad, you just need to work on other things. Build everything, make it flow but don't blend it. I'm sure you'll write so much better in the future. Good luck!

TOTAL :: 43/100