╭⋟───────────────╮
He Changed

╰───────────────⋞╯

Author :: hippy_hoppy

Reviewer :: kimvante_

First impression :: 15/20 (4+9+2)

The title was relevant to the story. However, it seemed very simple and boring. Something complex and unique would've been appreciated.

The blurb was short and precise. It contained the initial baseline of the story and it also had a mystery etched into it and that was why and how did Jungkook change? What made him change? It might very well intrigue readers to read your story.

The cover needs a lot of work actually. First off all, why isn't Taehyung in the picture? It's clearly a Taekook book so why is only Jungkook on the cover? Secondly, the font used for the title looks pretty hideous so I suggest you pick a proper & visible font. Lastly, the background looks horrible, it doesn't match with the story at all. It gives off a mafia, crime and murder kinda vibes when in reality the story is the complete opposite. So I suggest you please work on these changes.

Beginning of a new start :: 3/10

The onset chapters were wavering. The opening was nice but as it moved forward, the story seemed to pick up at a rapid pace and the scenes kept changing so fast. I was confused as to what was happening because their high school story kept going on till 20 chapters and then their separation took place and they met again in just 2 chapters. It was so fast I couldn't process anything. I suggest you start off the story after their separation itself. Then later in the story you can add flashbacks of their past and then in the end you can add the reason why Taehyung left and also why Jungkook changed. This way the story will look moderate. And honestly speaking, I got quite bored after 9-10 chapters. 

Concept & Plot :: 9/25

The concept wasn't something new and the plot was moderate. It was the same repeated things we see in many fics. The abuse and self-harm and running away. And then the main lead returns and meets the other main lead and then they have some beef between them and then later they fall in love. Something unique would've been appreciated. 

Characters & Emotions :: 8/15

Whenever I read a story, I focus more on the character build-up and their sentiments. Your way of portraying the characters' feelings was plain. There was no complexity of emotions portrayed so far in the story. Only Taehyung's emotions were more in the complex zone but that too due to his bullying and self-harm. There were no complex sentiments shown for the other characters. 

About the characters, they had no individual personalities. Everything was just going with the flow of the story. Even their character personalities were shaped according to what was going on in the story. Taehyung was shown as the same old weak and damsel in distress kind of person while Jungkook was bold and fierce and rude. Just like those cliché stories. The side characters seemed like puppets to me who were just fulfilling the role of being a side character. Even they had personalities that we see in other BTS fics. 

Tone & Style :: 3/10

Your writing style was wavering. Some paragraphs were too long while some were short. Even some dialogues and scenes were mindlessly written without any beforehand planning. The dialogues were plain and lacked lustre. There was not much descriptive writing spotted. The transition from one scene to another was disrupted as well. Most importantly, while ending a dialogue, you place the period (.) or the comma (,) inside the apostrophe, not outside. And lastly, why do you use pictures in the middle of the story? As a writer, you should be able to describe those pictures in written format rather than choosing the easy option and just pasting pictures of it. This is a story book, not a picture book. 

The toning of the story, as I mentioned above, was very fast paced. The scenes kept changing at a rapid pace and it was very confusing and hard to comprehend what was happening. It ruined the flow of the story and made it boring to read. 

Grammar :: 10/20

Your English was good, even your grammar was good at only a few places. Later into the story, it turned horrible then again it improved a little after the 5 years time skip. Your punctuations, however, need a lot of help. The placement of commas, semicolons and colons, learn how to use them properly. The most common mistakes found were capital inconsistency, tense inconsistency, wrong usage of ellipsis (It consists of only three dots (...) or (. . .) like this, not 5-7 dots as you like), action & verbal tags used wrongly and lastly, why do you use emojis in some parts of the story? It doesn't look aesthetic at all and ruins the entire look of the story. Lastly, please try to expand your vocabulary. Try to use more complex English rather than using simple words.

I hope my judgement was fair enough. :)

TOTAL :: 48/100.