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Fingers
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Author :: Jungkooks_fingers

Reviewer :: Chaotic_Lals

First Impression :: 10/20

» Cover :: 7/10
The title should’ve been centralized. The text below, that is, the author’s name was barely visible too. In general, I do not see any relevance between the title and the cover’s theme; they do not go together. Also, what was the Netflix part for? Overall, it was good of course, but I think it still could’ve been better.

» Title :: 1/5
Could’ve been better. As far as I can see, the title has only little relevance to the book. It doesn’t go with its plot or its theme.

» Blurb :: 02/05
To be honest, the first part of the synopsis doesn’t make any sense to me.

What does ‘He was horny, so he lied.He didn't lie about fingers but about love,’ mean? And nothing was mentioned about him being horny, where did that come from? Also, the line ‘She didn't know what horny meant and he found it cute and winsome but one has to get one's comeuppance. He did but she loved and so did he,’ doesn’t make sense at all.

It’s obviously an extract from the book, but you are to give some reference for extracts such as these, so that they can make some sense.

There were a lot of errors in spacings and punctuations. In the sentence ‘He was like the protagonist of a movie. Rich, popular and good looking,’ you should’ve used an em-dash rather than a period after ‘movie’. You missed out on using full stops too. There was an unnecessary leaving of a line too (before the ‘Mr. Popularity’ part). Overall, the synopsis is kind of messy. The ideas weren’t really conveyed properly and it should’ve been written a tad bit more formally. ‘Formally’ as in, words like ‘shit’ should be avoided when you narrate. It’s not compulsory of course, but the word ‘shit’ used to explain their struggles seemed extremely mundane and informal. Also, for the word ‘man’ you were to use single quotes rather than double quotes.

Beginning of a new start :: 2/10

To be frank, I wanted to stop reading the book right after the first chapter. No, after the first half of the first chapter. None of the ideas you tried to convey were executed properly. It was all too plain and mundane.

Concept and plot :: 10/25

There were a lot of plot holes in the book. First off, in the first chapter, Jimin never told Dahlia his name. How did she know it then? And to be honest, I’m not sure if the book even has a plot in the first place. There were just so many confusions and it was too fast. Moreover, all the events which took place in the book was unrealistic.

Talking about the concept, the book didn’t have any. What’s up with the chapter names? ‘Cause most of them hold little to no relevance to the chapter. For instance, the very first chapter was named ‘Moans’. Why? Because someone in the chapter moaned once? That ‘moan’ didn’t hold any significance in the chapter as far as I can see.

Characters and emotions :: 5/15

In my opinion, the characters were over dramatic. Some were childish and some were just not executed properly. Not a single character went well with each other. Their actions were just not justified enough, you know what I’m trying to say? I suggest you try making them more realistic and reasonable.

As for emotions; I couldn’t relate to any of it. The reason being the lack in description. You need to describe things more— especially when it comes to a character’s emotions.

Tone and style :: 2/10

To be completely honest, I spent about half an hour in front of my laptop trying to figure out where I should start from.

First off, you do not describe enough. There’s just nothing to relate to in the book. Everything takes place too fast and most of it doesn’t make sense. On top of that, your writing style (I don’t know if you can consider it as a style in the first place) was extremely informal.

Then, you are to separate dialogues when they are spoken by two different speakers. Do not include them in the same paragraph. It’s both grammatically incorrect as well as confusing.

Another thing is your perspectives. Avoid interchanging between perspectives every now and then, it completely ruins the flow. Write in third person POV, if you are using first person, then make sure to write at least two to three chapters in the same perspective in a row before switching. The same goes for inserting pictures. If you want to insert images, do it at the end of the chapter instead of pushing it in between. It ruins the flow.

Grammar :: 5/20

To begin with, your punctuations. To sum it up in one word, it was atrocious. No commas, you rarely use full stops, no proper capitalization. The grammar was worse. The tenses used were a mess.

Moving on, I’d like to talk about the ellipsis you use. The universal value of an ellipsis is 3; nothing more, nothing less. You are not to use tildes in books. They are mathematical symbols (sometimes also used whilst chatting). You cannot really use it in a book since they hold no meaning in the literature world. You also use ellipses unnecessarily.

You do not use quotes in the right way either.

When you include a person and you in a narrative sentence, the other person comes first, followed by you. It’s ‘Jimin and I’, not ‘me and Jimin’.

I also noticed that you unnecessarily break sentences into two. Avoid doing that.

Total :: 34/100