Lauren I'm terrified.  This is worse then anything that's ever happened to me. This makes the humiliation,  the threats, and the pain seem so small so insignificant now. Being a Hound to me seems like a living hell. This shouldn't be happening to anyone including kids like us.

I don't want to be addicted to Kick or be broken down following their orders blindly.  Have a small piece of freedom and actual consciousness that won't awaken till I'm at deaths door.  I don't want to be trained and be basically mindless. 

Would it be better to die them be one of their drugged up living weapons?  Would it better to end it swiftly on my own terms? I can't actually ask someone this but it's something that keeps bothering me.

I don't want to be killing mutant after mutant being the property of Trask Industries. Lauren I've never been so scared.