It was a warm, early mornin’ in the suite. I was tucked carefully away in the sanctuary of heavy blankets beside Roger. He was sleeping so very soundly and peacefully. I was barely awake as I watched him in slumber. I could lay in this bed and watch him sleep endlessly. We were both very relaxed and the sunlight bathed Roger’s naked back. I traced the sun’s gentle light all the way down his skin to where the dark green sheet barely covered his hip. I rolled over to my back and crossed my hands over my chest, staring at the ceiling. I blinked a few times as the quiet of the suite enveloped Roger and I.  The boys weren’t going in to the studio today and instead, a ski outing was planned. It was nice to sleep in. They would, of course, be promptly back the next day. As I laid there in the silence, what sounded like a faint knock could be heard on the distant door.

 I didn’t immediately move as I wanted to be certain I wasn’t hearing things. There it was again, yes…it was a knock at the door. I carefully peeled myself out of the covers. God, if this was Freddie wanting something completely stupid like borrow the morning breakfast menu I was gonna’ have to kill him. I had to comb the floor to find my underwear. Roger’s shirt, the same shirt I had slept in for nearly seven years, wasn’t quite long enough. It was starting to become slightly threadbare on the right shoulder.  I at least had enough class to have some underpants on prior to answering a knock…even if it was Fred. God, where were my socks, this floor was rather cold. The knock became a little louder and I hoped it didn’t stir Roger.

  I looked over my shoulder at him as I pulled one sock on and made my way through the main room of the suite and to the door. I struggled with the other as my feet hit the coolness of the entryway. There was yet another knock as I unlatched the deadbolt, and pulled open the door. I was taken aback for a moment as this was not what I anticipated. I flipped the deadbolt latch over and let the door close behind me so I wouldn’t get locked out. I stepped into the hall, crossing my arms and leaning over against the doorframe.

 “Well. You look like shit.” I told Brian rather coolly. He sighed and placed his thumb and index finger to his forehead.

 “I feel like shit. I’ve thrown up twice already.” He admitted, appearing to have the most horrible of headaches. Neither of us said anything for a moment. “Jesus…fuck…Lydia, I…I can’t talk to you like that! Go…go put some clothes on. Just standin’ there in your underwear, shit…god! Were you in bed?” he covered his eyes.

 “Brian, it’s 7:45 in the fuckin’ mornin’ of course I’ve been in bed. Why the hell should I change for your comfort? You were damn ready to take my clothes off a’ me last night!” I reminded him. Brian rubbed his forehead more, looking to the floor and having a miserable, sickly look on his face.

 “Lydia…I am… so…so very sorry…about what happened last night. I was…really drunk and…”

 “Horny…” I shook my head, cutting Brian off. “You were piss drunk, Brian. I’ve never seen you that drunk!” I breathed heavily and rested my weight against the frame of the door further.

 “I know…” Brian said weakly. “Is Roger in there?” Brian asked, stepping toward the door. I put my hand on the handle.

 “Of course he is! He’s asleep!” I said, rather sharply, preventing Brian from even considering reaching for the handle.

 “Did...did you…tell him? What happened last night?” he asked, scratching the side of his head. He had dark, heavy circles under his eyes and his color was awful this morning. Honestly, I think the effects of all he drank were still slightly present.

 “No, I didn’t! Brian, if I tell him…” Brian stopped me.

 “Did you not tell him because you’ve…been…you know…thinkin’ about…what it would be like?” I was completely appalled and perhaps even a little disrespected. It was evident that Brian’s drunken actions went much deeper than Chrissie even had a clue. As much as Roger and I had emotionally neglected each other in the couple months, it seemed that Chrissie and Brian had been neglecting each other in multiple ways that I couldn’t quite put my finger on; nor even thought possible.

All Chrissie had shared with us girls was that she and Brian hadn’t had sex for a month. She was “saving” it for only the days she thought her chances of conceiving were greatest…however the hell she came up with that. Furthermore, she mentioned that sex had become somewhat of a chore…this was all going through my mind. Fuck. As far as I was concerned, sex was never a chore. Yes, it went deeper. Sex, or the lack thereof, was merely the symptom.

 “Oh for fuck’s sake! Get the hell over yourself, Brian! Jesus…Christ…” I was utterly disgusted with him at this moment. It tore me into pieces wondering where the Brian I knew had gone in the past seven or so hours. I turned around to enter the suite once more and leave Brian behind.

“Lydia…Lydia…wait.” I could feel his tender palm on my shoulder, flipping me back around to face him.

“Let…go of me!” I said a bit hatefully, twisting my shoulder out of his grasp and swatting at Brian’s hand. I gave him quite a glare but I saw something in those dreadfully hung-over hazel eyes: Pain.  “Did you take my advice last night?” I asked after some tense silence between us.

 “No. I was too drunk and…maybe too distracted.” Brian said. “I’m sorry. I’m very sorry. I made…a terrible mistake. But even worse…I put you in the most uncomfortable of positions. You were…” Brian paused and shook his head. “…shit…I’m…I’m just a little jealous…Lydia. I’m just….jealous and I took it out on you.” Brian stared at the floor.

 “Jealous of what?” I asked him rather defensively. Brian shook his head. He limply threw his hands out to the sides.

 “Roger gets…everything! He’s got the fucking luck. He…has it all and he…” Brian clenched his fists. “Shit, Lydia! He has the looks, the money…and the girl.” He admitted, moving his hand to his stomach and appearing nauseated. I was gettin’ pissed very quickly.

 “You have all that too, you dumbarse.” I rolled my eyes and started to turn around. I felt Brian’s hand on my arm, motioning me back around to face him. I stared at him. “Did you tell Chrissie” I folded my arms across my chest again. Brian bounced his eyes back and forth between the floor and me. I sighed, more than irritated. “So, you didn’t take my advice and you didn’t tell your wife that you had your fuckin’ hand up my dress. Great. ‘at’s just fuckin’ great, Brian.” I stared at the carpeted floor and then back to Brian. “Look, I don’t know what’s goin’ on between you and Chrissie. But this…this is deeper than jealousy.” I shook my head. “I need a cigarette, I’m goin’ back to bed.” I said. “You better get this all figured out by breakfast. We’re supposed to go to the slopes today.” I turned around again, opening the door.  I felt his hand again.

 “Chrissie won’t talk about anything except getting pregnant. She won’t talk about her, she won’t talk about me and she won’t talk about us! We’ve not spent time with each other or enjoyed each other’s company since we started tryin’ to get pregnant! Our lives revolve around getting pregnant and it hasn’t even been that long! She has sex with me four days out of a single month and I’ve been away from her for nearly four months on a fuckin’ tour! And, unlike the pretty, self-entitled piece a’ shit you married; I didn’t fuck six sluts on tour because I felt sorry for myself!”  I was deathly silent because I couldn’t believe what Brian had just said. I was disgusted and for the time being he had ruined my morning.

 “You are no fuckin’ better than Roger and what he did! Don't you act all innocent! In fact, you’re lower because that is your friend asleep in there and I am his wife, for god's sake! And you...' I shook my head, too angered to finish that thought.  "First of all, my marriage is none of your damn business and don’t you ever call Roger a piece a’ shit again. Secondly, don’t you fuckin’ stand there and talk about entitlement! You’re just as guilty because had I been any other slut I woulda’ been underneath you last night, Brian! You and your drunken hand slidin’ up my thigh...you hypocrite." I finished.

"You call me a hypocrite all you want but I'm not the one who picked up somethin' disgusting and then jeopardized the health of the one I claim to love!" Brian rebuttled to me, looking even more exhausted than he did a few minutes ago.

"No, Brian...instead you were the one who wanted to do somethin' disgusting and jeapardize the one you claim to love! If I weren’t so certain that the Brian I know was somewhere behind those tired hazel eyes…I’d come up there and slap the shit outta’ you.” I had a finger jammed at him. 

 “I really am sorry, Lydia…” Brian mumbled.

 “Well, stop bein’ sorry and go fix your marriage…try makin’ it revolve around somethin’ that’s not your cock.” I said, turning the door handle.

 “Oh, and what’s your marriage revolve around, antibiotics? Ointment for herpes? Brian asked a little confrontationally. I glared at him.

 “Honesty. No matter how much the truth hurts.” I said.

 “If your farce of a marriage is so damn honest then you tell Roger about last night when you’re rubbin’ all over him.”

 “Go tell Chrissie you’ve rubbed all over me.” I pulled the door open and slipped inside, closing it far more loudly than I should have. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest and my body shaking from wanting a cigarette as I made my way through the main room and into the bedroom once again. Roger had begun to stir. I could hear him groan slightly.

 “Nnnnn…what was ‘at noise?” he asked groggily, his eyes barely open.

 “Sssshhhh… ‘s nothin'. Go back to sleep, baby…’s okay.” I said rather protectively, sliding into bed beside Roger. I pulled myself over to him, feeling the heat from his skin and the warm spot in the sheets where he was laying.

 “You’re shakin’…” He said sleepily, as he closed his eyes again. “Come ‘ere…” his voice trailed off as Roger spooned up against me, slinging an arm over my shoulder.

 “I just…need a cigarette.” I said as my breath shuddered. I kissed his wrist. I shifted around with him under the covers, pushing myself closer into Roger.

 “Were you at the door?” Roger mumbled into the pillow. I kissed his wrist again.

 “Yeah…housekeeping. Go back to sleep, baby. Sorry, for wakin’ you.” Roger fell back to sleep quickly as I could feel his arm turning to dead weight over me. I laid there in silence, my eyes wide open and staring at the clock on the nightstand that simply wouldn’t budge.  I needed to relax my body as I laid here shaking. I closed my eyes and swallowed hard, exhaling another shaky breath. I crept my hand over Roger's, squeezing the back of it lightly.