Chapter 18: Life in Isolation and Painful Memories

Eli:

I've lived in isolation almost my whole life. It's been eight long years of survival. I lived in a caravan camper deep into the woods and encircled by a cluster of trees and I could sometimes barely see the sky until I climb the pine trees. An eagle wheeled overhead as I scouted my surrounding as I blocked and checked for any wandering prey. I climbed down gracefully onto the hard soil and skittered around. Beams of light filtered through the trees tops of the already eerily quietness of the forest.

 I skinned, dried and chopped the meat into silts from the hooks and did a fire, cooked the deer carcass and made chilli. My mouth watered as I inhaled the smokey, aromatic smell. I grabbed a dried herb, rubbed it with my hands, sprinkled it into the roaring flames to prevent mosquitoes and flies, and fastened my boots.

I always preferred eating and cooking in the evening. It was fun enjoying the cold and the warmth of nature. A thin blanket of fog formed on the ground and oozed through the trees as it rolled like waves. Goosebumps formed on my flesh as I shuddered. I hang the rest. I froze, and turned my head. I heard rustling, slithering and tortured moans. I squeezed my eyes shut and trek fighter away. I could not stop it and my eyes fluttered open and glowed golden and glued to the sky, grey and wispy. I clenched and unclenched my fist and counted to ten. I whirled and it glided smoothly was a giant shadow breathing through the trees. I was transfixed.

Stop, Eli. She ...she isn't real she's just a figment of your imagination. Stop, you were hallucinating .I thought angrily, shoving the thoughts of that...no, that demon and it's eyes so intelligent yet animalistic but so peaceful. Stop it, Eli. Leaves rustle and snapped as the trees darkened it thickens. I howled in agony that my eyes flashed bright yellow. Oh, fear. My heart hammered in my chest as my breathed hitched and I choked. Air seemed to drain, my eyes pulsed the only colour, in the black and white forest and light as my pupil turned to silts. I slowly counted and covered my ears.

I snapped my eyes opened. I was back again, holding a bowl and flask.It was cold and foggy.I sat,legs spread on a log. The flames died and all was left ashes. No, no, not again, you drifted. No, no .In the depths of my mind. I heard her icy laughter that sent chills down my spine , her bared yellowed teeth. Flabbergasted and shocked mind as I stared at the empty bowl. I plopped on a blackened log and stared wide-eyed and gaped. I shook my head, buried it on my legs and placed my hands on my black locks. I removed the metal pot and left. Only to stop and flicked a piece of meat into ashes.

'Moon goddess. Why? Did you make me ...different? Why did you me as a -mistake to live. 'I said teary eyed, blinked my tears and wiped the dirt and soot from the fingers and forehead.

I sat on the log, my eyes that scanned as I rubbed my hands on my black throser -cladded thighs and squeezed myself with my winter jacket. I grinned as my wolf, Drake yipped in approval.

That dick deserved it.

***

Yesterday, after work as an errand boy and blah, blah, blah.I might be an adviser but skilled in combat and ect. Some wolves actually wanted to attack him, ambush him or challenge him to death for his rank since he's a manwhore and very irresponsible.

I found the creek and named it The Anaconda years ago because it snaked it's way upstream. It led me towards bigger lakes and provided me with extra proteins and I bathed there. I know gross. I know how to sew, mend and collect firewood and I traded with humans  for extra cash. It was peaceful and airy just the way I love it. It's hidden at the northern side of the caravan. I leaped into the air and shifted in mid-jump since I was connected with my wolf. Everyone knew how peculiar my fur and eyes were. Yep, even in the werewolf world you can be categorized as strange since my fur is obsidian black and bright yellow eyes that are in silts. I zipped and zigzagged through the trees and leaped twisted and turned as the world muffed and wavered as birds chirped and my black paws crunched against the dry soil.

I quickly shifted back into my human form, which was quick and painless. I slipped on my clothes and removed my combat boots near the stream. I climbed up to the oak three and rested on the branch as it rocked me gently. The sun casted out a warm golden light and it began to set. A warm breeze lured me to sleep as it made Drake purr in delight. Suddenly, my nap was cut short as I sighed. Got up, rubbed my hands together .My ears picked up rustling of leaves, and snapping of twigs and leaves. My muscles tensed and I itched to attack. Drake was restless and agitated .He bared his canines, howled, and clawed my brain. I winced in pain as I felt a mask of his hatred. My eyes flashed, canines grew, and claws grew sharper and darker and I prepared to lunge at the sight. I paused, Masked my scent and crouch.

Attaaaaack. Drake snarled loudly. No. I said calmly. I scanned the perimeter and slowly a big tawny wolf emerged .Damn, she was huge and unbothered as she padded to the stream. I cocked my head in confusion then grinned realizing I masked my scent. Then her eyes flashed as I tensed. Blood red eyes as she diverted her snout similar to me as my heart hammered. Then she whimpered, she shook crazily as if she was having a seizure and her fur stretched into bare back and slowly, reversed into a human form. I diverted my head to avoid her butt on display. Drake cowered and used his paws to cover his snout.

Then she tensed, looked over her shoulder then slipped on her clothes quickly .Then she flashed those eyes, it was glossy and distant. She growled lowly after a mild sniffles and she tossed rocks into the creek.

All I remember was having a brief conversation, laughing and learning about each other, which I hadn't had in a loooong time. She was quite moody then I learnt a wolf in our pack rejected her. It was no other than the beta. Aaron that bitch. Throughout our conversation. My head ached and I felt uneasy. Hot flashes of a girl that chased me, we played hide and seek and I carried her. I felt happy but confused as I blinked them away. My wolf chasing her as she played fetch with me.

***

The first thing I did was walk briskly by the old ladies knitting circle as they smoked and got drunk as I passed by. Damn, they didn't look a day over forty since they are over a hundred. One gave me an air kiss with a wrinkly palm. One tossed a beer bottle as I stride faster and shuddered.

Then I busted into his office, grabbed him by the scuff and my fist collided with his nose as he screamed in pain, he staggered, growled and held his chin and his teeth blackened by blood.

"What the hell, dude? "He asked, concerned as he arch a brow as everybody gasped. My jaw clenched as I shook my fist. 

"That's a warning. "I snarled lowly, as he blinked and stared at me wide-eyed .I left in a huff as he showed no sign of healing and laughed bitterly. He dropped to a crouch as he winced and spat blood on the ground.

The dude didn't get it, did he?

His pure audacity even the grandmas were mad and they were a biker gang in the sixties. It spread like fire that I, Eli Williams punched the Beta and that's a sign of a challenge but no it was a warning. And if I back out I can lose my rank and my respect.

Why was I mad?

No, you had a reason. That dude needs a good spanking where's his mother when you need him never mind he spoilt him instead of giving him the belt or the chancla .Who the hell let's an eighteen year old fresh out of high school to be a beta. I'm nineteen and no one did nothing. He had to drag to train and cried a lot if it was to hard.

***

Mates were sacrilege and very dearly and important to us but he decided to live like a ...hormonal teenaged boy all the time. He didn't grow up in anyone's eyes.

I was sitting on the ledge of my caravan as the early moon sun filtered through the sky.I inhalee savouring every moment as I drank my tea and breathed in the non-polluted air and sighed in contentment. The grass had grew higher , weeds spouted and flowers dotted as more animal skittered and roamed. Light footsteps echoed as a tall lady strolled in .I didn't tense or react. I knew her. She was lanky and dressed in a peach coloured loose dressed with long pointy witch boots and to top it off, a corset.

"Eliara."I muttered, looking up as she smiled and fixed her trench coat.

"Hi Eli. "She muttered softly. Her melodic voice soothing my anger. She scanned the surrounds and ran her long white nails through her pastel pink tresses.

"Eli. Please I know you hate this ,"She begged as I stared at her long face and pointed nose. Her red eyes went wide as she sat down next to me .I ignored her as she sighed and clawed her skirt. "But please join the pack."

"No."

"But ..."

"Eliara."I warned dangerously as she gasp.

"Why are you here? "I demanded, rolled my eyes and put down my flask. 

She sighed heavily. "Because I came to ask why you punched, Beta Aaron? "She asked with concern. She was older than me at least two years but still towered over me and was way wiser and more educated than me.

My jaw clenched even though Eliara--- the warrior was my friend she was very hard, persuasive and hot-headed.

I sighed and looked at her before drinking some cold water from a Bootle,

"But you promised me you'll tell me why? "She squeaked.

"When I'm ready?"

She groaned angrily and stomped her boots on the ground.

"I punched him because he rejected his mate and not by the werewolf councils standards. "She opened her mouth to intervene but closed it as her eyes glossed. She clenched and unclenched her fist.

"How? Did you know? "She asked.

"I can read you, ok." I stated bored.

"Well, now .Idiot. You challenged him and now your rank and stay at the pack is at stake. "She said happily, crossing her skinny pale arms and smiled smugly. She really likes drama even it means I'm in it.

"But please ."She pleaded with me with her doe eyes, "But please go check up on him."

"Bitch." She gasped as if offended as I grinned at her, she huffed nose up high and marched on dramatically and disappeared. She practically vanished no whoosh or anything. Damn, stealth mode. I stifled a laugh and flashed the middle finger.

***

But please. Go and check up on him. That's what echoed through my mind and I angrily shifted to do so? She can really make a person rethink their choices that well. Must be a curse as I approached the pack.

I trotted into the clearing and diverted my snout. I shifted back and entered in the pack house or the Alpha's domain. But suddenly the place was drowned in a smell that I knew all too well. I changed quickly and almost had to urge to rip something apart. Quickly, I climbed up the wooden stairs and ran thorough the long corridor as my face scrunched in disgust and anger. The smell was arousal and actual...sex .I growled angrily .

I barged into the room and growled louder than I could even muster. The wooden door almost broke off its bronze hidges. Guess what? Yeah. You did. Aaron was sleeping with a random she-wolf again. What is this? The fifty one. This time he deserved castration of punched at the crotch. They stopped passionately making out as they covered themselves with a flimsy covering as I closed my eyes. We are werewolves, right? But no to me was too much. I gaped at him and gave them bitch-are-you-serious look. I pulled the blank blanket from the queen sized bed and it left the unfamiliar she-wolf bare. "Leave." I yelled at her as she screamed out of the bed and took her clothes then she glared at him. Aaron screamed after her and crossed in arms angrily.

"Dude, why?"I asked confused. "That girl wasn't even a pack member."

"Yeah," He shrugged. Unbothered by what I just did," Yeah, she's from another pack and a prostitute."

"Dude ,you rejected your actual mate just to sleep with random she-wolves? I asked, arch my eyebrow and stared at him as he slipped on his boxers, as I stood there unbothered.

"Well, nothing bad right. I could right through her she will ruin the pack and destroy everything. "He said bitterly as I stared at him flabbergasted. I rakeed my hands through my black locks in frustration.

"Dude. Mates are important."

"Hah, to you. "He scoffed and slipped on his white T-shirt.

"You do know that. You will never get another mate again when you need one. You didn't have a perfect reason so the council can demote you. The moon goddess can curse you, "I stared all the reasons and crossed my arms. He groaned and zipped his jeans and shrugged on a jacket. "I. Don't .Care .Nor .Need .A .mate. "He said and wore his vans. He recoiled taken back. "Dude, you are way too into things. Is solely our animalistic desire to be loved and to mate?"

"But we all can't be ...perfect like you. "He scoffed, jealously and amusement laced his hoarse voice.

"So your rank holds nothing to you and mates neither. "I shook my head, heading to the door. He nodded.

"Did you know? That when you slept with this she-wolf you were killing her wolf and hurting her ?"I asked, narrowed my eyes and looked at him.

"Again, I don't give a damn. Well, can't we admit the goddess made a mistake and move on with our lives, "He said and a swatted his hands and avoided my gaze, "You can't perfectly see that I'm sexual and very open. "He added.

"What. "The comment just registered as I sighed.

He ranted more and cared less. "Really, in everyone's eyes you're the golden boy and the mysterious dude. Why can't you see that? I'm still surprised you are a virgin and things and you think I like you.no, in everyone's eyes you are nothing and just a stupid charity chase. An idiot who nodded to be constantly monitored and honestly I hate you. "He said bitterly and laughed.

I busted out laughing and hunched in pain, "What on the underworld did I just hear from you. You know nothing about me and how does my history affect you. You are dumb and stupid to be jealous of me .It was hard surviving in those woods for gods how long hated being lonely, the monsters the creatures and ...the demon.

"Hah, you are adopted by the Alpha since he is mate less and treats you better."

"You just don't get why we have mates. It's hard to know you have come of age an your mate isn't born or of age. That their sick or even died so you'll find yours since they could be human, married or even half across the world or their way older than you or not even alive at all. Or you have no mate in place for you that is why they are celebrated so much and are cherished so much because of that ...there's no reason to live well. Rejection is even worse so I'm worried, "I paused for dramatic effect, as he looked bored and distant. "But there are some reasons why you can reject them. They are abusive.

"You've always judged me and never saw my progress. "He said angrily.

"I work harder than you. "I stated loudly and pointed to my chest as he rolled his eyes and he spat at me.

"Is good your parents died so they'll never see your face again-"I cut him off then lunged into him and threw him, kicked over as air drained out of his lungs and I grabbed him by the cuff and shook him.

I spoke so much deeper and angrier than I ever felt. "Don't you dare bring my parents into this? I tried so hard to tolerate you. "I growled then my fist collided with his face as punched him hard and several times as we wrestled on the wooden floor and I left him bleeding from his nose and caked with his blood. Warm liquid trickled down from my fingers as I left him.my eyes glowing and swirling with new emotion. I FELT NOTHING. He was breathing, icing in pain but he couldn't open his eyes and ever since he rejected her. He grew weaker. I laughed. The most bitter laugh ever.