"What the fuck are you doing here?"

My father—if I could even call him that—sneered at me from where he stood. Ted Matthews was a burly man who's deep baritone would terrify a lot of people. Especially a small boy who frequently met the end of his belt. Out of habit, my eyes glanced to the waistband of his khaki pants. No belt today.

"I came here to try and talk to you. I tried calling, but you changed your number."

No kidding. "Yeah, I did. How did you even find out about this address?" That concerned me a little. I didn't want Vanessa anywhere near my father. It wasn't that I thought he would hurt her like he has me, but it was more like...I didn't want her around him. He was poison. She wasn't.

My dad crossed his arms over his chest, his eyes narrowed and filled with everything but love. "I went to your job. They gave me the information."

If that was the case, it looked like I would have to have a talk with my boss. I'm pretty sure they aren't supposed to give out that kind of information. It's been over two years since I've seen my parents. Even though it was probably wrong of me to even think it, I didn't spend one day missing them. If I never saw them again, it would be too soon.

There have been many times where I've wished they could be the type of parents that I needed. I would have been grateful for that. With everything they put me through since I was a kid, I just couldn't bring myself you have compassion for them.

"What are you doing here?" I asked again. That's the question that really bothered me. I had no idea why my father would seek me out, and I had no idea how long he had been here talking to Vanessa. God only knew what he said to her about me.

"Well?" I urged when he didn't explain. 

My father cleared his throat. "I got a call."

"From..."

"An associate of mine," he answered; as if that helped clear things up for me. "He called me a little over two weeks ago. He said—he said that he saw you with...someone outside of a restaurant."

I knew what he was talking about before he even finished his sentence. He was talking about when Logan and I went on our date and kissed next to his car. Apparently, someone my father knew saw and told on us—like we were fucking children or something. But we weren't children. I wasn't a child. Not anymore. I glanced to Vanessa. Her eyes met mine and, from the sad, hurt expression on her face, my father told her the truth about me.

Suddenly, Logan's hurtful words whispered through my mind...

"I need to be honest?" Logan hissed. "What about you?"

I felt the blood drain from my face. How could he say that to me? "Don't go there, Logan. Don't you fucking dare."

"Why not? It's the truth." He took a step towards me, his voice coming out rough and edgy. "Have you talked to your parents about who you are? You've been hiding in your relationship with Vanessa." He put his hand to his chest. "I'm not the only one who needs to accept the facts."

I didn't want to hear it at the time; and it hurt like hell. But he was right. I was hiding who I really was. From everyone. I could make up some stupid lie and possibly talk myself out of this. Or...I could finally tell the truth and let the chips fall where they may. I inhaled a deep breath, trying to muster up the courage to do what needed to be done.

Ring-ring

I pulled my phone out of my picket just enough to see Logan's name on the caller-ID. I shook my head a little. What were the chances of him calling me at this precise moment? I slid my phone back in my pocket. I would have to call him back later. I had other things I needed to take care of right now.

"You must be talking about me and Logan," I said flatly. "Someone saw us kissing, I'm guessing?"

That seemed to really piss my father off. His mouth dropped open and his face started to turn fifty shades of red. "You are going to plainly admit to this? To this...this..."

"What, dad?" I asked when he continued to stammer. "Am I going to admit to kissing the guy I've been pining after for years? Yeah. We kissed. A lot. Or how about the fact that, because of my fear of you, I've pushed him away and denied myself the chance to be happy? To be someone I'm not?" I shrugged a shoulder and splayed my hands out in front of me. "Kissing isn't the only thing we've done, either. Would you like me to go into detail or what?"

My father stalked up to me and got into in my face. Like I said, I wasn't a kid anymore. I didn't keep my eyes glued to the floor. I didn't quake with fear wondering what he would do. I didn't shrink back from him. Surprisingly, he didn't say anything. From the way the veins in his neck strained and he clenched his teeth, I could tell he was trying to keep his anger in check. Whatever.

"What now, dad? Are you going to send me to a conversion camp again? Here's a little tip: I'm pretty sure it's not going to work. It didn't last time. Want to know why? Because this isn't a choice! It's who I am! I'm fucking gay!"

"You are condemning yourself to hell!" he screamed at me. "You are going to hell for this!"

"Yeah?" I didn't hesitate to scream right back at him. "Well, I'll save you a fucking seat, dad!"

I should have seen it coming. I should have expected it. But when the back of my father's hand came into contact with my face, I stumbled back a few steps. I touched my lips with my fingers, only to pull them away to see blood. A busted lip.

When I looked back up at him, I realized how stupid I've been all these years. From the moment he sent me to that fucking cult of a camp, to today...he wasn't a father. Fathers didn't do this.

"Get out!" Vanessa screamed. At first I thought she was talking to me. When I looked in her direction, she started shoving at my father, pushing him towards her front door. "Get out of my house! Or I'm going to call the police!"

I couldn't do anything but watch as she kicked my dad out. Once he was gone, she shut her door and locked it. She turned to me and came rushing to stand in front of me. "Are you alright?" Her eyes dropped to my busted lip. "Come on, let's get some ice on that."

For a moment, I didn't move. I was so shocked by her actions, I didn't know what to do. After what she just saw and heard, I expected her to kick us both out. Even though my mind was a haze right now, I ended up following her into the kitchen. She was putting some some ice in a folded paper towel and gestured to the seat at her dining room table.

"Sit down, Grant."

I did what she instructed and she hand the ice to me. "Thanks," I said softly, putting the cold pack she made to my lips. I winced at the contact. It hurt like a bitch.

Vanessa leaned against the counter and kept her eyes on me. I knew she had questions. She probably had a million questions. I owed it to her to answer every single one.

"It's okay, Vanessa. Ask me whatever you want to know," I said quietly against the ice pack.

Vanessa exhaled a heavy sigh. "I don't know where to start. I mean, it kind of explains a lot."

I cocked my head to the side. "How so?"

She pushed off of the counter and started pacing around her kitchen. "There was always...something. I couldn't put my finger on it. I could tell you weren't happy—not like you should have been." She turned towards me and her expression was soft. "So, you're gay?"

I nodded because talking seemed harder than it should right now.

"And when you were...in that hotel, it was him? The man you mentioned? Logan?"

"Yeah," I answered roughly.

She nodded as she tried to process everything. "That kind of explains why you wouldn't tell me. I mean, it's not an excuse, but I understand it a little more. How long have you and he..."

This is where it got tricky. "Well, that was the only time while I was with you. He and I hadn't really even spoken in a long time. He was going through some stuff with his family and asked to see me. That's when I went to meet up with him." I moved the ice pack and looked her in the eye. "Vanessa, when I went to meet him, I wasn't planning on betraying you. I didn't plan for that to happen." I ran my hand through my hair. "I don't know how to explain it. With Logan, there's this...pull, whenever I'm around him. I get kind of lost. In him."

She stared at me for a long while. "I believe you. About not meaning to betray me." She glanced away and went to the fridge to get some juice. "When did you know that you were...gay?" I could tell by the way she hesitated that it was hard for her to say the word. I didn't hold it against her. It was hard for me, too.

"I first started to realize that I was different when I was young." The next part was hard for me to say, even though she probably heard me screaming it earlier. "My parents found out and sent me to a conversion camp. After I got back, they kept trying to change me. The kept trying to get me to be someone I wasn't."

I frowned and the words couldn't stop after that. "I knew what they were doing was wrong. But they were still my parents. I wanted to try to make them happy. I tried to be who they wanted. I tried dating women and being...straight." Heavy exhale. "God, I never realized how tiring that was. How stressful."

"I'm sorry, Grant. You're right. They shouldn't have done that." She came to sit beside me. "When did you meet Logan?"

This was a long fucking story. But it was one I needed to tell. Whether I was comfortable with it or not. "We met in college. We were friends. I was attracted to him instantly, but I tried to hide it. I tried to bury those feelings, you know? I could always hear my parents' voices in my head telling me how wrong it was."

"Did Logan feel the same way?"

"I love you." I closed my eyes tight. God, how I wished I could rewind time back to when I heard him whisper those words. 

"Yes," I answered. "He was kind of in the closet, too, but for different reasons." I leaned back in the chair and put the ice pack to my lip again. "After that, there were a few times we hooked up off and on. We fought a lot. We would get scared about what we were feeling and that's when we would push each other away and not talk for awhile. Then it could be weeks or months, and we one of us would reach out to the other."

"You love him."

My chest tightened and I looked up to meet Vanessa's stare. It wasn't a question. It was a statement. Like always, I tried to deny it. "Yes. I do." Well, so much for denying it. My hand that was holding the ice pack lowered slowly. I couldn't stop the smile that formed on my face. "I love him."

Vanessa returned my smile. "Then you should be with him. Don't listen to what your father said. It only matters what you want—what will make you happy."

I couldn't do anything but shake my head at her. "Why are you doing this? You should hate me."

Vanessa chuckled lightly. "You're probably right. I did hate you a little. I mean, I understand your side of it a little better. What you were going through...Look, what you did wasn't right, but I don't hate you."

"I don't hate you either."

Vanessa let out a deep breathe. "So, are you and Logan going to..."

"No," I answered immediately. "He and I had a falling out." I had no idea what he called me about, and I wasn't sure if I was going to call him back. Right now, I was just trying to figure out this shit.

"Grant?"

"Yeah?"

Her face was serious and it made me nervous. "I think...we should...break up."

We both started laughing at that and I groaned when the cut on my lip pulled. "Yeah," I chucked. "I think you're right."

Vanessa got to her feet and held out her hand. "Let me make you a fresh ice pack. That lip is still bleeding pretty good."

I handed her the ice pack. I couldn't help but watch her while she made a new one. It was funny, actually. In that moment, all I wanted was for Logan to be here with me. He was the one I wanted to seek comfort from. 

The only one.