Have you ever heard of an out of body experience? Because I think I was having one right-fucking-now. There was a humming sound in my ears as I tried to comprehend what Logan was saying. It took me a few minutes to think of something to say back. To figure out what I wanted to say—what I really wanted to say. Because no matter how terrified I was, Logan deserved the truth.

But as I sat across from him right now and saw that raw emotion in his eyes as he looked at me, it became quite fucking clear what I wanted. What I needed. It was Logan—it's always been Logan. Once the thought passed through my mind, it dawned on me that I've always known that I wanted to be with him. I just hid behind the mind-fuck my parents did on me. 

I cleared my throat before I answered him. "I want you." The words started tumbling out of me. "Fuck, Logan. I want to be with you. I've wanted you this whole fucking time. I've thought about what it would be like to be with you. To really be with you and do the whole relationship thing."

Logan's mouth nearly dropped to the floor. "What did you just say?" 

I leaned forward and cupped the side of his face. "I want you."

Logan's eye slid shut briefly. "You have no idea how long I've waited to hear you say that."

When I smiled and leaned in for a kiss, he pulled back a little.

"What is it?"

He suddenly looked very uncomfortable. "How is this going to work? We want to be together—and that's fucking awesome. But you still have a girlfriend and I need to deal with my family."

I understood where he was coming from. For him, this affected more than just what his parents thought. It also affected his future. I didn't think his father would keep him from working for him because of this, but I couldn't say for sure. I didn't know his parents that well.

As for me, I needed to talk to Vanessa in person. I had no idea if she was going to want to try to work this out, but I was going to have to be honest with her. I couldn't be with her. Not when I was pining for the man in front of me. It wasn't fair to any of us.

I ran my hand through my hair, trying to think of the best way to explain this. "Logan, when leave this cabin bubble, we can deal with all that. Can't we just enjoy this right now? Just...be together?"

"Vanessa?"

I knew what he wanted to hear—and I needed to say it. "I'm going to end it with her. I want you. Not her." It was as crystal clear as that. 

The expression on his face was doubtful. After our history, I wasn't that surprised. I just needed to prove it to him. I wanted to give this—us—a real shot.

Without saying a word, Logan got up from the bed and started walking towards the bathroom. I didn't follow. I waited patiently until he came back. He always said we were a mess. He wasn't wrong.

I heard the sound of the water turning on in the bathroom and my mind went back to that time I fucked him over...

"So," I snapped, "did you just bring me here to fuck me?"

Logan leaned forward and brushed his lips against mine. "Would you leave if I said yes?"

I should. I should leave right fucking now. I should grab my keys, get in my car, and get the fuck out of here.

But I knew that wasn't happening. That's why I was so pissed off—because even though I knew what I should do, common sense seemed to be non-existent where Logan was concerned.

"No," I whispered, unable to deny him. "I wouldn't." 

After it happened that night, I woke up next to Logan and I panicked. I panicked and I said a lot of things I didn't mean.

"Where are you going?" he asked when I jumped out of the bed and started looking for my clothes. "Grant! Where are you going?"

Unable to think, speak, or even breathe, I started looking for my keys. This couldn't keep happening. Every time it did, I could hear my father's voice in my head telling me that I was going to hell and all that bullshit.

Why was I even still thinking about them? I haven't spoken to them in years. How come, whenever I was alone, it didn't plague me like this. Only when I was with Logan. Like...now.

I finally got my pants and shirt on and stalked out of his bedroom. I knew he was following behind me. I just hoped he wouldn't try and stop me when I try to leave. I slipped on my shoes and started looking for my keys.

"Don't you fucking dare," he warned. "We need to talk about this."

I spun around to confront him. "Talk about what, Logan? The fact that you convinced me to come over here and fuck you even though you have a girlfriend? Does she know that you're unfaithful?"

The blood drained from Logan's face, and I knew I hit a nerve. I knew that I was going down the road I wasn't going to be able to come back from. But I couldn't stop myself from saying the words.

It was almost like I wasn't in control of what I was saying. Part of me wanted to shut the fuck up and stay here with him. The other part—the terrified little kid who's parents disowned him—was the motormouth.

"I thought I came here to see if there was something between us. But there's not." I glanced away and reached for the doorknob. "I guess the truth is that I only came here for a fuck."

Then I stormed out, got in my car, and left.

"Okay," Logan said when he came back in the room.

I got up from the bed and closed the small distance between us. "Okay?"

His expression softened and a corner of his mouth lifted. "Yeah. Okay. Let's do this." 

"Really?" It suddenly felt a little hard to breathe. I thought he was going to need more convincing than that. 

Logan chuckled and reached for my waist, pulling my body against his. He cupped the side of my face, running his thumb across my bottom lip. "You're pretty amazing. You know that, right?"

My voice dropped to a husky murmur. "You're supposed to say that after we have sex."

Logan brushed his lips against mine. "Then what the hell are you waiting for?" He leaned back and ran his gaze over my body. "You're a little over-dressed."

I heard the words, but they didn't register. All I was thinking about was my mouth on his. I cupped the back of his head and crushed his lips against mine. Logan moaned into my mouth and sucked on my tongue. I felt his hands at the waistband of my sweats. He pushed at them urgently without breaking the lip-lock. He only got so far before I had to finish the job. I finally stepped out of them and Logan took control from there. 

He pulled back and his hand slid possessively to the side of my throat. He gave me another hard, sound kiss. "Go get a condom." 

After I gave him a sharp nod, I turned and basically ran to the bathroom. My hands were shaking as I grabbed a condom from my bag. It was the anticipation. Because this...this was different now.

When I got to the bedroom, I froze in the doorway. Logan was stretched out on the bed, one hand wrapped around his hard erection. His back arched as he stroked himself; his eyes going from my face, to my chest, down to my abs, then finally my own throbbing dick. God, I wanted him. 

"Getting started without me, huh?" 

"You took too long." He glanced at the condom in my hand. "Put it on. Now."

Where was this dominant side of him coming from? I had no idea, but I fucking loved it. Seeing him like this—pleasuring himself as he studied my body—nearly had me coming where I stood.

For a brief moment, I thought about everything we talked about. Logan was giving us a chance, and I didn't take the lightly. I wanted to do something for him. I wanted to do something to prove to him that I was in this. 

I glanced down at the condom in my hand and that's when it hit me. I was surprised I wasn't more nervous. I tossed the condom towards Logan and it landed on the bed beside him. His brows drew together before he grabbed it and got to his feet.  

"Want me to put it on, then? I'm all for that." 

He ripped the top of the condom wrapper off and I placed my hand on his to stop him. "No."

He arched a brow. "No? What do you mean 'no'?"

I leaned into him and gave him a long, deep kiss. We were both starting to breathe heavily when we pulled apart. I teased him a little and licked at his lips before I tugged lightly on the bottom one with my teeth. 

I wanted him to know I meant what I was about to say—so I looked him right in the eye. 

"I mean, no. I'm not putting on the condom. You are." When Logan's eyes went wide with surprise, I wanted to make sure he understood exactly what I was saying. 

"I want you to fuck me, Logan." 

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