"One room, please." I sat my credit card down on the counter. 

The concierge smiled as she took the card and booked my room. I ran my hand through my hair while I waited impatiently for her to finish. As soon as I saw Logan's name on my caller-ID, I knew I shouldn't have responded to his text. I knew it would lead to this. But I couldn't help it. That seemed to me my problem where he was concerned. 

Then to make matters worse, I called him. I didn't even hesitate. That was mistake number two. His voice made me feel things that confused me—but the tone in his voice tonight hit me hard. He was scared. Hell, he was terrified by this engagement, apparently. I wasn't surprised when he hinted that he wanted me to stay. What had me a little surprised was the fact that I said yes.

Ring-ring 

I grabbed my phone out of my pocket and grimaced when I saw her name. I pushed the green button and put it to my ear. "Hey, babe."

"Hey. Did you make it to Atlantic City okay?"

The concierge stopped typing and glanced at me. Clearly she heard what Vanessa said. I turned and took a few steps away from the front desk to get a little privacy. "Uh, yeah. I'm here now. Just getting settled in." 

Vanessa sighed into the phone. "You just left so quickly. Are you sure you're okay?" 

I pinched the bridge of my nose. "Yeah. I just needed to get away for a while. Work's been getting to me a little bit. I just needed some space and Rick invited me last minute." 

I heard rustling in the background. "Space from me?" she asked quietly. 

"No." I glanced to the concierge  who was giving me an accusing look. "It's not because of you." 

"Okay," she sighed into phone. "I'm leaving to go to mom's tomorrow. My flight is at eight."

Fuuuuuuck. "That's tomorrow?" I remembered her telling me she was flying down to her mom's to visit for a few weeks. I just forgot it was so soon. I know I had a lot on my mind lately—but damn. 

"Yeah, it's tomorrow. It's okay," she said softly. "I know you've been dealing with a lot." 

I tried not to think about my family right now. Vanessa didn't even know the whole truth about what went down. All she knew was that my parents cut me out of their lives. She tried getting more details out of me, but I wasn't going to drag her into that part of my life. It was bad enough that my parents were involved. 

I first met Vanessa two years ago. I started going to a new gym as a way to keep my mind busy. It was right after another one of Logan and my one night stands. Actually, it was more like a whole weekend. Then we had the same damn argument we always did. It usually ended with one of us saying stuff we didn't mean and storming off. After that happened, it was always the same. Radio silence. 

Then I met Vanessa and I liked her. She was sweet, kind, attractive. But sometimes it felt—I don't know—wrong. But I was determined to make it work with her. I needed it to work with her. The alternative just wasn't a possibility. But if that's how I felt, then what the hell was I doing here? 

I ran my hand over my face; hoping it would get rid of the frustration. It didn't. "That's no excuse, Vanessa. I'm sorry that I've been a little...distracted lately. When we both get back home, I'll make it up to you. Okay?" 

"I like the sound of that," she replied and I could almost picture her smiling. "Get some rest, Grant."

 "Talk to you tomorrow?" I asked hopefully. Even with all the fucked up shit in my life, I did care about Vanessa a lot. 

"Yeah. Sounds good. I'll miss you."

"Me, too." I ended the call and headed back over to the front desk. The concierge's expression was accusing. I didn't blame her.

"Room 627. Enjoy your stay, sir." 

"Thanks." I grabbed the key card to my room along with my driver's license and credit card. 

I didn't look back at the the judgemental concierge and walked straight to the elevator. I pressed the button for the sixth floor and leaned against the wall as it stared to move. Christ. When I woke up this morning, I wasn't expecting to be checking into this hotel. I wasn't expecting to hear from Logan—let alone kiss him. Why did I do that? Again? But I knew the answer to that question already. It all started the night of his twenty-first birthday. 

I remembered the kiss like it was yesterday. I remembered the way my heart raced when we locked eyes. I knew it was my one shot to see what it would feel like to kiss him. My one chance to find out if his lips were as soft as they looked. I insisted on taking him out that night for his twenty-first birthday, but I had no idea it was going to go the way it did. 

But the liquor had been flowing. The music had been playing. Years of buried sexual tension saturated the air around us. Then my eyes met his...and it happened. A small part of me hoped I would hate it. I hoped that I would be so disgusted by it that I would fix all the issues with the way I thought and my parents. But it had the opposite affect. I loved it. 

Kissing Logan was one of those life altering moments that people warn you about. One of the ones that define you. I wanted more—and when he kissed me back, I knew he did to. When I felt him pull my body closer to his, I knew that we were going to end up at my place or his. 

That thought alone was like a bucket of cold water being poured on me. The panic set in and I told him I had to go. It was a lie. He knew it and I knew it. Then I left. I made it to the exit before I changed my mind and went back after him. That's when I saw him talking to a woman. Rachel. I found out her name when they started dating. 

That night was one of my biggest regrets. Sometimes I would find myself trying to think about what would have happened that night if I never even left. Would we have gone home together? Or would we have been so out of control with lust for each other that we end up in one of the club bathrooms? 

I felt my dick harden at the thought and I cursed under my breath. I was still on the fucking elevator. Thank God no one else was in here. When it got to my floor, I waited impatiently for the doors to open and headed down the long hallway to my room. As I passed the various hotel rooms, I heard silence from people sleeping. I heard partying from a few rooms. Sex from another. 

Maybe I should leave. I should get back in my car, tell Logan something came up, and return back to my life. Yeah, right. What the hell was I thinking? I wasn't going anywhere. I unlocked the door to my room and let it close behind me. I threw my bag on the floor and fell back on the bed. 

The truth was, I was a lot happier to see him than I should have been. When we kissed earlier by the lake at that bar, it took everything for me to walk away from him. My mind seemed to always tell me to stay away and not give in. By body said something completely fucking different. Nothing else seemed to matter when I was around Logan. There was no outside world. No significant other waiting for either of us. No fucked up parents. 

"What is this?" I asked my dad as I picked up the pamphlet. It had the words Prayed Straight written across the front. 

My dad was standing across the dining room table, arms folded and brows furrowed. I could hear the sound of my mom sobbing in the kitchen.

"It's a place where you can get better."

My heart was pounding in my chest. I was sweating. I felt like I was going to throw up. "Get better?"

My father's voice was deep and laced with fury. "Your mother and I know what you've been looking at on the computer. It isn't right. It isn't...normal. You're sick." He pointed to the pamphlet in my hands. "This place helps children like you."

Even though this whole camp thing was a surprise to me, I knew that my dad was talking about. I knew my parents would get mad if they saw the stuff I was looking at, but I didn't expect...

"Dad, nothing is wrong with me." I threw the pamphlet on the table and got up from the chair. "What if I don't want to go?"

My dad's gaze never wavered. "It doesn't matter what you want. You're twelve-years-old. It's up to your mother and me." He took a few steps to stand in front of me. "Besides, I already called them." 

I jumped when I heard the sound of the doorbell.

"They're here to take you now," my dad said. 

"No!" I screamed and ran to my room. I slammed the door shut and pushed my medium sized toy chest in front of it. 

My father banged on my door as I grabbed my duffle bag and started throwing random stuff in it. "Open the door, Grant!" 

I didn't open the door. Since our house was one story, I opened my bedroom window instead. I climbed out and started to run towards the neighbor's...

I pushed back one of my worst childhood memories. I didn't want to think about that shit right now. 

Acting on instinct, I reached for my phone and hit redial. 

"Grant?" 

My voice was rough and ragged. "Yeah."

I knew I probably caught Logan at a bad time. He was whispering on the other end of the line and it sounded like he was going into another room. "You okay? What happened after you left?" 

I got a call from my girlfriend. I feel like shit and the memory of my homophobic parents is fresh in my mind. 

"Nothing. I'm at the hotel. Just wanted to let you know." 

The pause on the other end of the line told me that Logan knew me a little too well. Even though he knew I was bullshitting, he didn't press. 

"That's good. I just turned on Die Hard. It's on cable."

I sat up and grabbed the remote. "No shit. What channel?" 

"Twenty-three."

I turned on the television and turned it to the channel that Logan instructed. For the next two hours, my small hotel room was filled with the voice with Bruce Willis complaining and shooting at people while crawling through air vents and walking on shards of glass. 

But it wasn't the movie that got that wretched memory out of my head. It was Logan's voice on the other end of the line as he quoted the movie. I couldn't even remember the last time I laughed so much. 

***

Hey, guys! I'm semi-back into my writing mood. The official release date for Secrets and Lies was 8/20 but I'm releasing today. I plan on daily updates and will do by best to keep up on it. How do we like Grant's POV? As always, thanks for reading xoxo