Taylor

Sitting in the waiting room, I'm not entirely sure how I got here. I heard a teacher say the name of the hospital Miles's was being taken too and the rest is a blur.

The hospital receptionist told me only immediate family are allowed to see him and ex-girlfriend's don't count. He also told me he isn't allowed to discuss patients but he confirmed Miles's is alive.

I glance down at my two buzzing phones. There are messages from my parents, Kayla, Sydney, Ariel and Jay. There are none from Ryder and for some reason that bothers me the most. Tucking my old phone in my pocket, my other hand holds the new phone while my thumb hovers over Ryder's phone number. I haven't had the courage to call it. I still don't.

I shake my head. I'm in a hospital waiting room to find out if my ex-boyfriend who collapsed is going to survive, but I'm thinking about a boy I kissed once and has been ignoring me since. There's something seriously wrong with me.

"Taylor, what are you doing here?" Miles's dad walks towards me. His clothes are crumpled and his hair messy. He looks as though his whole world has been destroyed. Miles is an only child so I guess in some ways it has.

"I just want to make sure he's ok," I whisper.

"He's awake but very confused. We're still trying to figure out what caused the heart attack."

A heart attack?

Miles's father looks at me like I have the answers and maybe I do. Do I tell him what I know or do I hope Miles sees this as a sign and never takes anything again?

"We know he's been taking something, Taylor. Do you know what it is?" Miles's father asks.

"No." But I could guess and I bet I'd be correct. "I knew he was taking pills. Prescription pills to help him stay awake and increase performance as well as his ability to concentrate."

Miles's dad nods and there's a look of relief as though he expected me to say some illegal class A drug. I'm not sure being addicted to prescription pills is any better. Miles has still been acting erratic and not getting enough sleep. He still had a heart attack. The pills still nearly killed him.

"When he was coming too, he mentioned something about a delivery to a locker in school but now he's refusing to talk to us."

"A locker?" I choke out.

Miles's dad nods absently as he's distracted by two doctors walking past us. He stands and chases after them leaving me alone.

Standing up shakily, I clench the phone in my hand. I was the one supplying the drugs all the time. This is my fault.

All those times I spoke to Jay about Miles taking pills he couldn't have known. Could he? Miles was clever enough to not use his locker so he probably used a fake name too. But I showed Jay Miles's number and he said it didn't match any of his clients.

Part of me always thought it had to come from my deliveries, no one else is supplying the school, not with prescription drugs anyway. Now faced with the truth, I feel sick.

Confusion, guilt and anger churn inside me. Jay always told me the pills were safe to take. He told me the great thing about them was they didn't have any serious side-effects. Maybe, Jay isn't aware.

***

Standing outside Jay's building, I slip in through the entrance door when someone exits, and I jog up the stairs to his apartment.

Music thumps loudly through the slightly ajar door of his apartment. Pushing it fully open, the heat of sweaty bodies hits me.

Jay's having a party which is strange because he always invites me. It's annoying because apart from one, I've never been able to go to the other's because they've always been when I've already organised something.

Pushing past people, I find Jay on the couch with his hand around a girl's shoulder and a hand on her thigh. Except, she's not a girl, she's a woman and I'm reminded of how young I am. Everyone here looks old.

"Jay?" I shout, standing in front of him.

He turns to look at me. A flash of surprise is quickly replaced by anger which swiftly morphs into a smile. The change is so quick I could have put it down to a trick of the low lighting; I don't think it was. Jay whispers something in the girl's, I mean, woman's ear and she nods while giving me a quick friendly smile. I don't return it.

Jay drags me to his room, unlocks it, pushes me inside and closes the door behind us.

"Tay, what are you doing here? I thought you were grounded?" Jay says, wrapping his arms around me. "I would have invited you if-"

"Who was that woman?" I say, shrugging off his arms and stepping away from him.

"A friend."

I laugh bitterly. That seems to be a common excuse for us two. "You told me you wanted us to be together but you're here flirting with-"

"Flirting. Nothing else." Jay softens his voice and he steps towards me. "Don't be like this, baby-"

"I don't want to deliver for you anymore."

"What?" Jay's face darkens.

"Miles is in hospital. He had a heart attack and it's because of the stuff you're selling. You told me it was safe-"

"The pills we're selling," Jay says flatly.

"What?" I frown.

"You collect the money and deliver the pills. You are just as guilty and culpable as me, if not more in many ways. Don't forget that." Jay steps closer and peers down at me. "Does Miles know you deliver them?"

"No, I don't think so," I stammer as I process his words. I'm guilty. I'm the one who will be blamed.

"No or you don't think so? Because if he does, the police will come knocking and you need to be prepared to deny everything and to not mention me. Because if any of this falls on me, I will tell them exactly your involvement so don't think of doing anything stupid."

"But I'm only sixteen, you said they wouldn't-"

Jay shrugs. "You may only get a couple of years. I've heard Juvenile Prison isn't any easier than real prison though. Imagine how embarrassed your parents would be. You're already a disappointment, I can only imagine how they'll feel when you've got a criminal record. I wouldn't be surprised if they disowned you completely."

I'm shaking. My whole body trembling as I struggle to find the words.

Jay cups my face and smiles. "You're not stupid, baby, you knew the risks really but you did it anyway. I love you and you love me which is why you'll keep delivering." Jay kisses my forehead. "I'll be back in a minute and I'll take you home. We'll talk more tomorrow once you've had a good sleep. You look like shit."

Jay lets go of me and exits the room, slamming the door behind him.

Ryder was right. I've been so stupid and gullible. I dart out the room and exit the apartment. Running down the stairs, I step outside into the cold air.

Taking out the phone Ryder gave me, I see multiple missed calls from Kayla, Ariel and Sydney. I ignore them and dial Ryder. It goes straight to voicemail and a strangled sob escapes my mouth.

"Taylor, are you ok?"

I turn to face Jay's friend, Winston.

"Are you crying? What's up? Jay's upstairs, let's go find him." Winston smiles.

I shake my head. "No, we had an argument. I'm going home."

I turn and walk as fast as I can. Jay told me not to trust Winston. Except, I'm not sure I cam trust Jay anymore either.

Winston catches up and walks next to me. "Let me give you a lift somewhere. You can't be walking around at this time by yourself, it's almost one in the morning."

"I'm fine," I say tightly and increase my pace.

"Look, you don't trust me and that's cool. It's sensible actually. But I promise, I just want to drop you off, and I won't try anything. To be safe, you can take a photo and send it to all your friends to tell them I'm taking you home. You can even take a photo of my driving license." He pulls his wallet out and takes out his license.

I hesitate. It is late. I huff. "Fine."

I pull out my phone, take a photo of Winston holding his driving license next to him and I send it to Ryder. I have no idea why but I feel like my other friends would just freak out.

"Great. My car is around the corner. Where do you want to go?"

***

"I didn't realise you lived in a campsite." Winston smiles then frowns as he stops the car. His eyes drift over the worn sign and dented barrier leading into the campsite. "The way your brother described your foster parents... Well, he told me they took care of you so I didn't think they lived somewhere like this." He shakes his head. "Sorry, that's a really stupid thing to say, I'm sure they're great people."

"My foster parents?" I frown.

"Sorry, Jay said you don't like talking about it. I know he's gutted you can't live with him but he's saving up for a place for the two of you. He told me how difficult it was when your parents died and how he didn't cope with it at first but he's trying to put it right. You mean the world to him. You have one devoted big brother." Winston smiles.

"Yeah, he's a great brother. Thanks for the lift," I say stunned.

"No, problem. I'll see you soon. And give your brother a call, he'll be worried about you."

"Of course, I wouldn't want my big brother to worry," I say, trying to hide the sarcasm from my voice. "Quick question. Do you have more than one car?"

Winston laughs. "I wish. Why?"

"I thought the car Jay occasionally drives was yours." Because that's the reason he gave for never being able to pick me up or drop me home. Recently, however, he's been using it a lot.

"No, that's the car you both inherited from your parents. It was all that was left after their debts were paid off. " Winston frowns. "It's yours too. It's a classic. I'd love that car but my mortgage repayments come first. I should increase Jay's rent and put it towards a car." Winston chuckles then quickly adds, "Only joking."

Jay told me he rents the apartment and Winston crashes there due to never wanting to go home to his parents. Jay lied. He fucking lied about a lot if things.

"I better go," I say absently, climbing out of the car.

I wait for Winston to drive off before walking back along the road until I reach the playground which is barely visible in the soft glow emanating from the sea of houses and street lamps below me. Ignoring the magical night scenery laid out before me, I trudge towards the treehouse.

My phones buzz as Ariel phones me on the new one and my parents on the other. I switch them both off. I can't deal with them right now. I can't even deal with my own feelings.

Once I reach the top of the ladder of the Treehouse, I slump on the floor and curl into a ball. Closing my eyes, the world presses down on me and I completely breakdown. My life has gone from bad to worse and the only person I can blame is myself.