As I grow and develop through my self teaching, I find that questions I ponder still linger. They stay unanswered.
Why don't I figure them out? Well... I... I can't.
There are just some things that you don't know, and to know them you must seek guidance from someone who does.
There is an old Indian woman who lives down the street. She seems as if she has seen many great days, and also many days of utter disaster.

There are times that I have contemplated talking to her, but the light no longer lingers in her eyes and she looks as if the disaster she has seen has taken her soul and locked it away somewhere.
The problems I face are better taken care of with a sidekick, but my trust has been broken one too many times. I have no trust to give because each time I lend it to someone they either brake it or leave me without giving it back.
I am treated as if I am replaceable and everyone will find someone better than me.
The light will eventually leave my eyes too, but not because of the same reason the Indian ladies has. One day someone will seek help from me but turn away before they ever get near me because my soul has turned grey and full of dismay.