I didn't get out of bed the next day. Or the next. Emotions washed over me like a tidal wave, crashing into me with no warning. Grief shoved guilt into shame, which then collided with regret. The cycle continued over and over until I eventually wanted to go to sleep and never wake up. I couldn't stop seeing Jacob's face or hearing his voice. It was emotional and mental torture.

I had never hated myself as much as I had in that moment. Mostly, I was left alone. Without fail, however, there was always a tray of fresh shrimp and bubble tea on my nightstand. But when the sun was setting on the third day of my self-imposed isolation, a gentle knock sounded on the suite door. Instead of ignoring it, I answered, my voice hoarse from tears and disuse. "Come in," I called out. For a moment, I wondered if they'd even heard me.

I let out a weary sigh as I heard and saw the door creak open. Drew's head popped in, and the minute he met my gaze, I felt tears welling in my eyes. "Oh, Faye," he whispered, his eyes never leaving mine as he swam inside and shut the door behind him. When I felt his warm, steady arms come around me, I broke down.

Within the safety of my brother's embrace, I felt like nothing and no one could hurt me. I wished more than anything that we could stay like that forever. His grip never faltered, even as my sobs grew louder and more intense. "I can't do this anymore, Drew," I whispered brokenly, finally voicing the thought that had haunted me for months. "Whenever I close my eyes, I see Jacob and hear his last words."

My words slowly gave way to unintelligible sobs as I surrendered to the grief, guilt, shame, and regret that had festered inside me. After a few minutes, during which my sobs had lessened to heartbreaking sniffles and whimpers. When Drew finally spoke, his voice was tight with the same unknown emotion as before—only this time, I finally recognized it. And it broke my heart. It was agony.

"I wake up every single night in a cold sweat, gasping for water as Carla and Ella's screams echo in my ears. Even though five years have passed, I don't think I'll ever be able to get them out of my head. Ever since their deaths, I've done my best to keep you safe because it's the only thing that loosens the grip agony has on my lungs enough for me to breathe. When you got hurt, I flashed back to their deaths and the helplessness I'd felt in that moment.

"I couldn't save them," he whispered, his voice breaking as a tear slipped down his cheek. "I couldn't save Jacob; I couldn't save you. I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't..." Here, his voice faltered, his head drooping as tears fell freely down his cheeks, silent sobs wracking his body.

Seeing my strong, brave, selfless older brother break down in front of me was heartbreaking. I'd always pictured him as my fearless protector. The merman who would sacrifice everything—including his safety—to make sure I was safe. Glimpsing this vulnerable crack in the invisible armor he wore daily was something I hoped I would never see again. Lost in our shared grief, I did the one thing I swore I'd never do again.

I let my guard down. That meant—for the second time in a row—I wasn't aware of my surroundings. Drew snapped his head up, quickly breaking the embrace to swim towards the window. I didn't know it at the time, but the same assassin who had injured me months ago was aiming a crossbow at my brother. He spun around to face me, taking a sharp breath, then speaking slowly and carefully.

"Faye, I want you to swim slowly and carefully to Mom and Dad's suite and tell them what's happening. And then I want the three of you to haul—"

The sound of glass shattering caused his words to break off mid-sentence. It happened in the blink of an eye: one minute, Drew was speaking—the next, he was gasping for water. I swallowed a scream, my eyes widening to the point where I worried they'd physically pop out of my head. The spear tip had buried itself in the center of his back, dangerously close to his spine. Hysteria bubbled up inside me as I inhaled a lungful of water before screaming at the top of my lungs.

"MOM! DAD! SOMEONE HELP!"

I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think past the sight of the spear buried in Drew's back. I heard Dad's voice, muffled but getting closer with every breath. "Faye? What's—"

I had never seen Dad falter before, but the sight of the spear buried in his son's back caused him to waver. Mom was right behind him, but even she was frozen, a trembling hand hovering over her mouth. I lunged for him just as he began to fall, grunting softly at the weight of his limp body.

I wasn't sure what caused me to break out of the haze that had fallen over me, but once I started speaking, I couldn't stop. "Drew came in, and I broke down, telling him that I couldn't do this anymore; I told him that whenever I closed my eyes, I saw Jacob's face and heard his voice."

Tears filled my eyes and spilled down my cheeks as my voice broke, but I didn't waver. Keeping my eyes on Mom and Dad and not on my brother's limp body was an act of sheer will. "When he finally spoke, his voice was filled with agony. He told me how he wakes up every night in a cold sweat, gasping for water as Carla and Ella's screams echo in his ears.

"He told me how he's done his best to keep me safe because it's the only thing that loosens the grip agony has on his lungs enough for him to breathe. When I got hurt, he flashed back to their deaths and the helplessness he'd felt in that moment. He blames himself for not saving them. I've never heard him sound so... broken."

In the time that I'd begun speaking, he'd lost consciousness—I didn't know if that was a blessing or a curse. I prayed with all I had for the former. Dad had taken on the total weight of his limp body, and Drew didn't so much as move a muscle or open his eyes. The former exchanged a glance with Mom, a wordless conversation passing between them.

Without a word, Dad carefully wrapped Drew's limp arm around his shoulder as they left the suite and swam to the hospital. I hoped with all I had that they made it in time. When Mom spoke, her voice was eerily calm, but I could tell she was on the verge of panicking. Her eyes locked on mine, wide with fear. "Faye, send a message to Aegrem and Beltmare, tell them what's happened. Our loved ones are not guaranteed protection." She visibly shuddered as the words left her mouth.

I heard what she said, but I knew I had to go myself. Even with the magic used to carry messages, who knew when the assassin might strike again? Steeling myself, I slung my cloak around my shoulders and pulled the hood to cover my face. I was lucky the sun had nearly set; it might give me the stealth I needed to make my way undetected. Mom's eyes widened as they tracked my movements, a terrified gasp escaping her mouth.

Her eyes filled with tears as she swam to me, putting a trembling hand on my arm. "Faye, sweetie, you can't go out there. I know you're upset about what happened to Drew, and I know you're scared, but—"

Something snapped inside me when she said those words: I know you're scared. I knew she hadn't meant them to be harsh, but that was how my grief- and shock-addled brain perceived them.

"No, Mom. I'm not scared. I'm terrified. I just watched my brother nearly die from a speargun wound because of me. Dad nearly died from a speargun wound because of me. I won't let anyone else in our family get injured or die because of me!"

My voice rose with every word until I was shouting. I didn't regret my words, but Mom was taken aback. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, steadying myself until I could speak calmly. "If I haul tail, I should be able to reach Aegrem around midnight. I'll find a sea cave to shelter in, then go to the palace tomorrow. Regardless of the reception of the sensitive news, I'll stay in Aegrem tomorrow night and then come back the next day."

I turned and swam away, fast enough that she wouldn't see the tears forming in my eyes. Or my trembling hands clenched into fists at my sides. I was in way over my head. As I swam through the palace, I realized I hadn't seen Jonah yet. Fear, worry, and regret collided to form a knot in my stomach.

I knew that once the news had spread, every realm would be on edge. But would it be enough? Or would Raina's words eventually come to pass, dealing us a devastating blow from which we would never fully recover?

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