Song of the chapter is
Heads Will Roll by Yeah Yeah Yeahs

-47-
-Saina Bahl-
-Present-

_________

Delmore Local Area
6 December, 2030
12:46 pm

As I scratched the itch on my ring finger, where my wedding ring sat gladly, my mind wavered to a place that I found myself visiting most often.

My home.

Not the one in Gurgaon, that was more Gautam's than mine, not even the one which my father had once abandoned me and my mother in.

For the two years after I had left Delmore, I had rented a place in Pune, near my then workplace, to reside in. It was a small cramped up apartment  with just one bedroom. The hallway ended as soon as it began.

And yet, still, despite itself, that place still had left a strong indentation on my heart and my mind.

In those two years, I had learned to live alone for the first time. That space was mine and mine alone. No one had any power over it, except me.

That was what I had craved for, for years.

Ever since I was a young kid, I had been hungry for love. All I ever wanted in life was to love and be loved. But I guess this wish of mine was too big for God to fulfill.

I had everything growing up, except it.

And that's why I looked for it in the wrong places, in the wrong people.

I was thirteen when I had first seen Avinash and to say that I hadn't fallen for his boyish grin would be untrue. But then Alishka had come along and that dream of mine had not taken seconds to shatter.

When I finally thought that we could be together, Yash had taken him away from me again.

And then I had met Gautam seven years later, just like some fairytale movie. He was everything a woman could wish for. With a commanding presence that effortlessly captured attention, Gautam exuded an air of confidence and magnetism that drew people towards him like moths to a flame.

Sometimes to a point of no return.

But then, despite all of that, I had never been in love with him. I had never felt loved by him.

Even with his hands around my waist in parties, whispering sweet nothings to each other in secret, or walking hand in hand down the street, I had never once felt loved.

I had mistaken that sense of comfort that came with being with him as love and quite foolishly had tied the knot, thinking all the same things my mother had in her marriage.

‘It'll be different once I get married.’

‘Living together will eventually make something blossom in my heart for him.’

‘My life would be perfect if I tied the knot.’

Perfect.

All I had ever wanted in life was to be perfect and all my life all I had ever been was second best.

To my father.

To Avinash.

Even to Gautam. He cared more for everyone else's feelings, even a child that had not even seen the light of the day, than mine.

I could never be a priority for anyone.

Suddenly, my thoughts were interrupted by a sudden spark in front of my eyes. I looked up and found the crowd cheering as the clock struck twelve. Fire crackers and party poppers released in the air simultaneously.

A small smile blossomed on my face as I watched a kid exchange sweets with his friends.

I could never be a good mother and I was well aware of it and yet, my heart longed for something I knew I didn't deserve.

Abruptly, I felt a calloused hand closed around mine, yanking me forward into a chaotic whirlwind. The forceful grip sent jolts of adrenaline through my veins, making my heart race and my senses heighten. The scene around us was a blur of movement and noise as we plowed through the rowdy crowd.

"What the-"

I stumbled to keep up, feeling the tug of their strong arm propelling me forward. The clamor of voices, music, and laughter swirled around us, threatening to drown out my voice.

I could feel the adrenaline coursing through my veins as the strong grip closed around my hand, pulling me away from the chaotic crowd.

My heart raced, both from the exhilaration and the unease that gripped me. I glanced back, seeing the sea of faces growing more distant and blurred. It was as if we were slipping away into a separate world, our own private bubble away from the chaos and noise.

Had my friends seen me? Where were they?

Every step felt hurried, the hand in mine firm and unyielding. It was almost too rough, making me wince with each tug, but I knew there was urgency behind it. I could sense the desperation, the need to escape the overwhelming surroundings.

I stumbled once again, my feet struggling to keep up with the swift pace set by my mysterious guide.

"Let me go! Who the hell are you?"

My protests remained unanswered as the guy continued walking swiftly towards the dark alley in front of us. I looked back once again, hoping for one of my friends to come rushing after me, but in vain.

My focus shifted back to the person leading me away, their grip never loosening. The person had a baseball hat on with sunglasses covering his eyes. I couldn't get a proper look.

The world outside the crowd came into view—a dimly lit alleyway, cloaked in shadows. The sudden change in the environment heightened my apprehension, making my pulse quicken even more.

The grip around my hand softened, his fingers intertwining with mine. I stood there, catching my breath, feeling the residue of fear mingling with an odd sense of relief. The rush of adrenaline began to dissipate, replaced by a newfound vulnerability.

I turned to face them, ready to demand answers, to understand why he had whisked me away so abruptly. But as he removed his sunglasses and our eyes met, horror filled my heart.

"Gautam?"

"Saina, hi."

"Hi?" I asked, bewildered. "Are you fucking kidding me? You yanked me away from the crowd like you were practically kidnapping me and then you have the audacity to say hi?! What the fuck is wrong with you? Why did you bring me here?"

"I'll answer your questions. But first,.... I need you to listen to me." He pleaded, holding my hand.

"No, I'm not gonna fucking listen to you!" I yanked my hand away from him and crossed my arms in front of chest. "I'm sorry but I need to be with my friends right now."

Saying that, I started walking towards the crowd when he ran and stopped in front of me, blocking my way.

"What is your problem, Gautam?"

"My problem is that my wife does not want to listen to me." He whined.

"Wife?! Really? It didn't occur to you that after you pulled your little stunt in front of my friends, and embarrassed the shit out of me, that perhaps your ‘wife’ has every right to be upset?" I demanded.

"Look Saina.... I wanted to apologise about that." He sighed, saying.

"Yeah no fucking shit." I cursed. At this point, honestly I was absolutely fucking done with his bullshit. "You do this every time you fuck up, Gautam. Every single time! You make a mistake, you apologize and then expect me to be okay with it. Well guess what? I'm not okay with it!"

He simply stared at me, slightly stunned at my audacity I guess.

But then, he had it a long time coming.

"You can't just try to kill me and then apologize... saying that you lost your temper!" My voice broke as I yelled. "You can't just threaten me and then proceed to call me baby and kiss me! It doesn't work that way!"

"I know, Saina! And I'm saying that I'm sorry, okay? I'm really trying to be better person here..."

"Better person?" I asked, chuckling painfully. "Gautam, you couldn't be a good person even if you tried. Because you are just rotten....from the inside out. You are selfish and cruel!"

"Saina, baby.... that's not true..." He extended his hand to graze my cheeks but I moved back. His touch repelled me.

"I think you should leave, Gautam." I stated, with no emotion filling up my heart. "It's best.... for both of us."

"Saina.... I'm not leaving without you." He protested, holding my hand.

"No." I said, removing his hand off of me. "You are."

"But..."

"Gautam." I began, with a poker face as I slowly and gradually pulled my wedding ring out and handed it to him.

"I want a fucking divorce."

He stood there, for a long moment, speechless.

"I'll tell my lawyer to get in touch with you regarding the paper work and... I'll get my things from your house once all of this is over." I said, with determination. "But right now, you need to leave this town."

"Saina...baby, you don't mean that..."

"No, I do." I said, looking straight at him. "Perhaps this is very first time in my life when I'm actually speaking my mind. And you know.... it's kind of freeing."

"But what about us?"

"What about us?"

"Are you just gonna throw all of this away? And for what, a fight? So what? Normal couples fight all the time!" He defended.

I chuckled at his audacity. "Yeah, they do. But 'normal' husbands don't try to choke their wives and yell at them every chance they get."

He remained silent, a look of guilt etching over his face.

"And throw what away? This? This unhappy relationship that you call a marriage? Why? Because we walked seven times around a fire pit and signed some papers? Is that what marriage is all about?"

"Because if it is, then I'm sorry, Gautam Bahl....but I don't want it. Not with you or anyone else."

He sneered at me with a gleam in his eyes that made me anxious that he was about to pull something else on me if I didn't get away soon enough.

"I hope we never see each other again, Gautam." I said, with determination, fixing my outfit. "So please.....try your best....to stay the fuck away from me."

Saying that, with my head held high, I walked away from him. With each step I took, the weight of the years of pain and suffering began to lift off my shoulders. Determination fueled my stride as I left him standing there, his presence fading into the distance behind me.

My heart pounded in my chest, a mix of fear and exhilaration intertwining within me. As I walked away, I couldn't help but feel a sense of liberation, as though a heavy burden had finally been lifted.

Glancing back, I caught a glimpse of him, his figure becoming smaller with each passing moment when suddenly, a figure jumped behind him.

My body froze.

A chill ran down my spine as I caught a glimpse of him, the killer, cloaked in a costume. My eyes widened with a mix of disbelief and sheer terror, mirroring my own emotions. The air crackled with tension, suffocating any semblance of tranquility that might have once lingered in this place.

I watched as he raised a butcher knife above Gautam's head and all breath left my lungs.

The blade glinted ominously. Time seemed to slow as my gaze locked onto my ex husband's unsuspecting form, blissfully unaware of the gruesome fate about to befall him. The anticipation was unbearable, the tension in the air reaching its zenith.

"GAUTAM!"

In one swift motion, the blade descended upon his exposed neck, severing his head from his body. A sickening thud resonated through the alleyway as his lifeless body crumpled to the ground, its reign of terror finally extinguished.

My screams died in my throat as my eyes remained glued to the killer.

Then slowly and gradually, he raised his phone to his ear and waved at me with the knife and a second later, my phone buzzed in my pocket.

With trembling hands, I picked up the call, my throat all dried up.

‘Thank me later.’

_____________

saina's girlboss moment
was so iconic that gautam's head
just couldn't handle it :)

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love,
Bosedisha