Song of the chapter is
Secrets and Lies by Ruelle

-39-
-Siya Malhotra-
-Present-

___________

Malhotra Mansion
26 November, 2030
6:30 pm

Fear.

Have you ever felt it? The crippling horror of it crawling through your veins and raking down your senses?

Have you ever felt blinded fear? A fear so ardent, so....mind-numbing, that at that moment, death seemed more inviting than life?

Tell me, have you ever felt that fear?

My body lay motionless as I tried my hardest to move. The airbags pressed further against my chest as I tried to gather myself. The windscreen in front of me had a huge dent, indication of the catastrophic event that had taken place just a few minutes ago.

If only I could rewind....take it all back.

A sharp pain engulfed my chest as I sat up in my seat. My eyes widened at the scene in front of me. Gulping visibly, I slowly unlocked the car door and stepped out of the vehicle. My legs gave up on me after merely two steps out and I fell to the ground, landing on my palms.

A burning sensation erupted from that.

My eyes then travelled to the shroud that was laid softly on the body in front of me.

For the life of me, I couldn't move an inch, nor could I look away. It was like I was a sculpture, made of stone.

A rancid smell filled my senses as my breathing grew shallower.

Then, slowly lowering my gaze, I stopped at my palms.

I stared in horror – my hands were stained with gruesome blood stains. What the smell was became all too obvious and I felt the need to vomit… that motion put away and forgotten in an instant when the shuffling of feet rustled behind me.

Panic. I turned around in a blur, my eyes huge and watering. My stomach stirred in the slightest. Curiosity would get the best of me, lending me a tiny spurt of energy to boost me on my feet. Teetering footsteps led me forward cautiously, random tremors reminding me of my weakness. I ran, as far as my feet took me, never once looking back.

Until there was no more left to run.

Turning sharp on my heel, I let out a blood curdling screech as I came face to face with the most horrific thing I had ever seen.

The shroud was still two feet away from me, but this time.... it was slightly pulled down, to reveal just a face.

My husband's face.

My eyes snapped open. I sat upright, my body covered in a cold sweat, my hands shaking, heart pounding. I frantically looked around the room but there was no one there.

Getting up, I rushed to the washroom and turning on the faucet, ran my hands under the icy cold water, trying to wash away every single ounce of blood that stained my palms. Frantically rubbing my hands together, I struggled to breathe as the hiccups took over. Tears streamed down my cheeks.

Why wasn't it washing off, damnit?!

I stared up at my reflection in the mirror again, cautiously, fearing I'd see a version of me I hated. My bloodshot eyes stared back at me, a slow lopsided grin etched on her face.

‘You're a killer, Siya.’

“No, no, no...”

‘You took someone's life, Siya.’

“No, I didn't....no...”

‘You're just like your sister, Siya. It runs in your blood.’

“Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!”

My screams bellowed and bounced off the empty blue walls of the washroom. I collapsed to the floor, my head spiralling. Blind spots appeared in front of my eyes.

I bundled my robe and pulled myself close to the wall. With my back against the wall, I tried my hardest to breathe.

‘Focus on the rhythm.’

Veronica's words echoed in my mind. I softly tapped my finger on my palm in a rhythmic pattern, and used all my force to focus my attention on that.

It was only a moment later that I felt a gush of air fill up my lungs.

I tapped my chest hard as I felt a fresh batch of tears oncoming. My mind was at several places at once. I couldn't think of one coherent thought.

My body began to shake uncontrollably, an emotion that's been tightly locked freeing itself. I let out a loud, long scream against my arm, muffling the ear piercing sound of it, only stopping when I was out of breath. My throat burned.

It was true after all.

I was a killer.

I had someone's blood in my hands.

And there was no turning back from that.

______________

As my eyes fluttered open, I found myself resting in our bed, with the duvet atop me. I squinted my eyes a bit as the lights in the room blinded my vision.

A figure rushed to my aid a second later.

"Hey...."

My husband's face had a look of worry on it. He looked worn out, the wrinkles creasing the edge of his eyes. His eyes furrowed at me as I reached out to hold his hand.

"Hey....how did I get here?" I asked, my voice still hoarse from the screaming.

"I came into the room and found you lying unconscious on the bathroom floor." He answered, his voice distraught. I must've scared him.

"Oh....well...uh..." I scrambled for an answer. "I must've passed out... from exhaustion."

"How are you feeling now?" He asked, squeezing my hand softly.

I nodded discreetly. "I'm fine."

His eyes fluttered twice, before his head hung low. "I'm sorry, Siya. This is all because of me..."

"What?"

When he looked up again, he had tears in his eyes. "I'm so so sorry.... I couldn't protect you, like I promised. This is all my fault. I should've been here..."

"Hey, Kartik...." I protested as I tried to sit up in my spot. He extended his hand to help me with it.

"Don't blame yourself, Kartik. If anything..... it's all because of me." I retorted, feeling an onslaught of tears forming at the back of my eye. He cupped my cheek with his hand, his lips quivering.

"It was me, Kartik. That night. I was the one who hit that guy. I was the one driving despite being drunk and on my meds. All of it....was my fault." I spelled out the truth that I had buried so deeply in my heart. "If you hadn't been there that night, I would've.....not survived."

His eyes glistened as his grip on my hand tightened.

"You protected me through it all. The only reason I'm sitting in front of you right now.....is because of you." I said, as tears streamed down my face. "So don't ever blame yourself, okay?"

Without really thinking it through, something propelled me to hug him. I buried my head in his chest, finding comfort in his strong cologne, and pushed my face against it to stop the tears. His heart was beating fast, it's rapid rhythm vibrating on my face.

"I love you." I mumbled as I hugged him tighter.

He kissed the top of my head several times. "I love you too."

As we parted, he held my hand close to his chest. "We'll get through this together, Siya. I promise."

I nodded, sniffling.

He then proceeded to go downstairs to fetch me some water. As I rested my head against the bedrest, my phone kept on the nightstand buzzed in it's place.

I drew in a shaky breath before grabbing it to check the notification.

And surely, there was a new message.

With shaky hands, I clicked on it.

A picture lit up on the front screen. Picture of the same guy that was involved in that accident three years back,....on a hospital bed, his head wrapped in bandages.

A gasp escaped my lips as I almost threw my phone on the floor.

With a mind filled with guilt and fear, I somehow composed myself to read the words written at the very bottom of the attachment.

“ I know you dug his grave,
and now I'm digging yours.”

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writing Siya's pov this season
has been really fun for me!

anyways, i want to hear what you guys think of it! did we like this chapter?

tell me in the comments below!

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