Part 7



I feel fat and ridiculous. This is supposed to be a romantic moment! The well dressed thin lady at the desk looks at me with a fake smile.

”Engagement rings?” she says. ”We have a lot to choose from Mr Gregory, please feel free to try all out Miss Williams.” She put large boxes of exclusive rings on the counter and takes a step back. There are so many rings, I don’t know how I will be able to only choose one!

”Thank you,” I answer politely. I give Matt a nervous look and he just smiles warmly.

”Money is not really a problem for us,” he joke. ”Just pick the one you like Molly.”

I pick up one ring. It is thin and have a large diamond on it. I try it on my finger but it doesn’t feel comfortable. I take my time exploring the rings. Think Molly! What kind of rings do you usually wear? Pretend like you are Darlene, she never have problems with buying jewellery. The answer came straight to me.

”I want a white gold ring with a small diamond in it, shaped as a heart. Do you have that?” I ask.

”Of course we do,” the lady answer and picks up one ring. It is beautiful. The white gold surrounds the diamond shaped heart and the ring itself is quite large. I try it on and it feels perfect. It feels like Darlene, it will fit with my other jewellery perfectly.

”That really fits you,” Matt says, standing really close to me.

”I like it. Can I have this one?”

Walking out of our town’s most recommended jewellery store wearing the engagement ring of my dreams feels so unreal. What if I never got pregnant? Would I be here today? Matt looks happy, and why wouldn’t he? He always knew who I was. And all that time I felt so unsure about him, it just refuses to leave my mind.

”We should plan an engagement party. It is almost Christmas, should we have one around then?” Matt asks me.

”That sounds lovely! I love Christmas, last year I celebrated it in Tokyo, that was an experience for sure.”

”We should have a family dinner as soon as possible so we can tell our parents the news.”

”Fine,” I say nervously. I am not really good with that kind of things but I must endure it for Matt’s sake. And our baby of course. I can’t escape into Darlene’s world this time.

-

I don’t know how many stores I’ve been to today. My legs and feet are tired and my back hurts. At least I am in a mall so I don’t have to go out on the streets. It is raining today and there is a storm warning tonight.

The family dinner is tomorrow and I must find the right dress to wear. Most things are just so boring. I will never find what I want to wear, I finally admit to myself.

I stand outside Darlene’s favourite designer store trying to get the confidence to enter the elegant shop. I finally step through the glass doors and take a deep breath and enjoy the silence in here. No customers are around and I can finally escape the stressful shoppers. The shop owner herself looks up with a polite smile when I slowly walk up to her. She is wearing a pink blouse and a white skirt and her blonde hair is in an elegant knot on her head. The middle aged woman still looks the same, but she can’t say the same about me.

”Mrs Wells,” I greet. ”I have a small crisis. I need something to wear for tomorrow.”

Her eyes gets big when she finally realises who I am.

”Oh my gosh, Darlene?”

”Yes.” I smile.

”When did you.. How are you? Congratulations I didn’t know!”

”I am engaged.” I show her my ring and she praises it.

”This is wonderful news! How did you manage to keep this a secret? You look like a mess, you should sit down in the private lounge and get some rest and I’ll see what I can find for you.”

She escorts me to the other room which I am very familiar of. I thankfully take a seat in the white comfortable couch while Mrs Wells disappears and her younger shop worker shows up with a tray in her hands with tea and small sandwiches on it. She place it on the glass table in front of me and gives me a bright smile.

”Enjoy! If there is anything you need please ask. Mrs Wells is looking for the right design for you miss. She will be back any minute”

”Thank you.” I smile back. ” Please don’t let me stop you from doing your work, I am completely comfortable waiting here.”

I felt better after the tea and Mrs Wells finally arrives with a couple of dresses for me.

”Once again I must say I am so happy for you and as usually we will keep your privacy.”

”Thank you, what did you find for me?”

She showed me a couple of pieces and in the end I bought them all. I will need clothes for Christmas and new years eve too anyway so I don’t have to go out and find clothes again.

”You are an angel as always Mrs Wells,” I say when I pay for the expensive clothing without blinking. ”I feel relieved now that I have the perfect dress to wear to the dinner.”

”It is our pleasure Miss Williams, please come back soon again and don’t forget to bring your baby after it is born.”

”I most definetly will. Goodbye!”

I leave the store happily. I pick up my cell phone to call Matt and see he sent me a text message.

I have a meeting, I’m sorry. Is it alright if you take a taxi home? Love Matt.

I’m not very surprised. His father is trying to keep him away from home as much as possible. It hurts to know they don’t think I’m good enough for them. I hope they will accept me one day, it can’t go on like this forever. I text him back.

Hi, I just got you message and… I found what I was looking for. I’ll be on my way home now. Cya tonight.

I decide to walk to the studio since it is nearby. I don’t feel like coming home to an empty house. The walk was not that bad, it didn’t rain much so I made it there safely and not too wet. Most people already left but I have my own desk where I can work at.

I carefully put my bags on the floor in the small windowless room. It is far from plain, prices, articles and other memory things from my career is spread in the room. I take my time looking at it all. Me, sixteen year old performing at my first sold out concert. I look happy. I continue looking at the pictures from the recent years of my life. Whatever happens, this will always be a part of me.

Whatever people say to me, they say it to both Molly and Darlene. I must grow up. I can’t separate my life in my brain like that anymore. I need to be Molly with Darlene’s confidence. I finally start writing a song that will be either world famous or completely forgotten in the pile of song texts. I just need to get the words out. Time is forgotten while I write and I slowly start trying out the melody on my keyboard.

 I don’t know how late it is when Matt finally calls me and ask me where I am. I do know that I needed this time to breath and find myself again. I am that world famous singer and I am good enough to be with Matt. I will not give up without a fight.

It is very bad weather when Matt arrives to the studio.

”Sorry I got sidetracked and forgot about the incoming storm.”

”Don’t worry about it!” He says and gives me a kiss and pick up my bags. ”Wait here while I bring these to the car.”

He quickly runs to the car with the umbrella over his head and puts my bags in the backseat. He runs back to me. ”Are you ready? Hold on to me tight.”

We then start walking carefully in the heavy rain and he holds the umbrella over me so he gets pouring wet. He opens my door and I try to get in the car as fast as possible. It is very sweet of him and I must remind myself to thank him later for troubling him like this. When he finally takes his place in the driver's seat he closes his eyes and his brown hair is dripping wet. It is a sexy look and I can feel myself getting hot.

”I am happy you didn’t walk home. The storm started a lot earlier than it was supposed to.” he says and gives me an intense look. ”I love you Molly.”

”I love you too.”

”I was worried when I didn’t find you at home. I should have met you at the mall instead of going to that meeting.”

”It’s fine Matt. Let’s go home, I’m tired.”

”Yes, me too.”

”Not too tired I hope?” I flirt with him.

”Never too tired for you,” he flirts back.

”I will make a hot bath for you.”

”That sounds nice.”

We made it safely home even though the traffic turned out to be quite chaotic.

-

Matt lits the fireplace after our satisfying bath. We are both dressed in bathrobes and are cuddling in the couch.

”So will you show me what you were working on tonight?” he asks me.

”Oh you know, just another ballad.”

”Just another ballad? Did you ever write something that didn’t get praised?”

”In fourth grade I wrote a poem about frogs. The whole class laughed at me.”

My comment makes him chuckle. It is so nice to just lie in his arms.

”Did you save the poem?”

”Please, why would I save that?”

”Too bad, I would like to hear it.”

”It was nothing special. I can’t remember it, just the reaction from it. I am scared of being laughed at. I am scared of not being wanted.”

”It will be fine Molly. My mom won’t start a scene in front of your family. She just need time to accept us.”

”If I tell them all about my life and who I am, will she accept me then?”

”I am sure she would. But will your family forgive you for not telling them first?”

”I guess not.”

”It is your decision Molly. I will stand behind you on everything.”

”Well my decision is to wait a bit so our baby can get a calm first year at least. It scares me how much media will focus on us when I go out with the news. It is not easy being famous.”

”Focus on that thought and don’t let anyone bring you down.”

”I will try. I am nervous for tomorrow.”

”I think it is quite normal to be nervous in this situation. I am nervous too. I was always scared you would disappear into your world. I thought if I didn’t put pressure on you, then you would come back. And then that morning when you came to my door I finally felt like this could last. I was so happy, you have no idea. Then later when I got home from work and found out I got you pregnant… I almost died of fright that I did this to you, the world famous busy Darlene. But you still wanted me.”

”I still want you Matt. You didn’t ruin anything.”

His confession makes me feel warm and happy. I feel less scared of tomorrow now. We are getting closer everyday and I can’t wait till our summer wedding.