Part 21



I feel excited about meeting my new friends, but also because Matt is sitting so close to me in the car. I don’t want to keep my hands off him and he smirks at me.

”Mind reader,” I breath into his ear. I let my lips touch his warm neck. Delicious.

”It’s easy to read you Molly, especially when you are in this mood,” he says with amuse in his voice.

”Hmm…” I smile. ”I don’t want to live a day without you.” I rest my hand on his thigh. I know I should get a grip, but it is impossible to keep my hands off him.

”I’m driving Molly.”

”Just don’t kill us.”

He pushes me to my side of the car. I huff at him.

”Relax sweetheart. Don’t make plans with your friends if you want to stay in bed.”

”I don’t need a bed. Can’t you park somewhere quiet and…”

”I’m not sleeping with you in a car when Lilee is right here.” He states determined.

”Fine, are we there yet?” I tear my eyes away from him and see that we are arriving at the aquarium. Eric’s little group of friends are waiting for us in the parking lot. It looks like they just arrived too. ”Matt, there is something I want you to do,” I tell him slowly as I remember a thought from yesterday. ”You should go out and have fun with your own friends, maybe go away for a few days. I can manage Lilee. It will be hard for you to do that when I go on tour.”

He looks straight into my eyes and I feel myself melting into a pool at my feet.

”You’re unbelievable,” he mutters as he park the car perfectly. He leans in and gives me a kiss to kill for. I moan into his mouth but he breaks away too fast. ”Let’s meet these friends of yours.”

I leave the car on weak legs. Damn Matt to play with my emotions! My whole body is burning after the kiss and it isn’t fair that he can look so cool, like nothing even happened! I carry Lilee out of her seat to the stroller Matt is setting up. She is warm in my arms, I press her closer to me and tears starts to prickle in my eyes and he looks at me with surprise.

”What is it now?”

”I can’t believe how happy I am!”

”Of course you are, I’m taking care of you.” Matt says it like it is the most natural thing in the world.

I guess I still can’t take anything for granted between us. It feels like someone is going to take him away from me and I want the most time possible with him. I don’t know why my hormones are acting so strange lately, but becoming a mom did change me.

”Are you happy Matt?”

”Of course I am, I have the worlds prettiest girls in my life.”

I put Lilee in the stroller and we walk up to the waiting group of people. I introduce Matt to them and they also dive into the stroller to look at my baby. I give Eric a hug.

”It’s nice to see you again,” I tell him.

”It’s nice to see you too. You don’t work out too hard right?” he asks caringly.

”Oh no, I feel great!” I flash him a smile. ”Lilee and I was out walking yesterday and we ran into the Steel family. Oh my gosh those little boys are so cute. They were all over the place.”

”Young kids is like that.”

”Yeah I can’t wait,” I answer dreamily. I wonder how she will look like when she grows up.

”Jim and Alec couldn’t come today, but they told me to say hi.”

”I can barely remember them, but say hi back!”

”Yeah, we should hang out more often with my friends.”

”I see that you are trying to recruit me to your friend circle, mister.”

”I already did and succeeded. It is not like you have any choice in the matter.”

I laugh and hit him playfully.

”We should go in, the others left us behind.”

It is warmer inside the building. The aquarium is huge and I get this harmonic feeling by being here. We walk around and I get absorbed by the sea animals. They are swimming slowly with no care in the world. It looks like that at least. The place is not overcrowded with people either which is a bit helpful. Lilee is happily asleep in her stroller. The group of people I am with are quite noisy though.

”Let’s watch the sharks!” Damien calls out. Everyone looks excited to go see them.

”You guys go ahead. I think I want to sit here for a little while with Lilee.”

”Are you sure?” Matt asks.

”Yes, it will be nice to watch these fish in silence. They are quite inspiring.”

Matt kiss my cheek softly.

”I will be back in a few minutes.”

”The aquarium isn’t that huge Matt. I’ll survive I promise.” I tell him sarcastically.

I watch him walk away with the others and I take a seat on the bench right in front of a big glass wall. Colourful fishes are swimming amongst bigger fishes. I don’t know how to describe them well, I’m not that good with sea life. I tried to read some of the information signs earlier but one of Eric’s friends kept talking to me. It’s quite nice to just relax and think of nothing special at all. Lilee moves her arm in her sleep. Her little fingers are adorable, all five of them.

I feel a light tugging on my sweater and an adorable little girl is standing there looking up at me with her almost black coloured eyes.

”Darlene?”

”Oh, hi,” I say taken by surprise.

”Dani!” A woman comes up to us and grabs the little girl away from me. ”I’m so sorry! I hope she didn’t disturb you.”

”It’s alright.” I give her a smile.

”But mom, it’s Darlene!” Dani says happily.

”Stop it, this is just a mom taking her baby out for the day,” her mother reprimands her. ”She has such a lively imagination.” The woman smiles sadly at me and drags her daughter to the next room. She seem to be a strict mother.

I just sit there stunned. Grown ups can be so stupid sometimes. I feel sick to my stomach suddenly. Why didn’t I tell that woman the truth? Is she going to be mad on that gorgeous little girl now? I start sweating and I suddenly don’t feel comfortable sitting here anymore. It feels like everyone is watching me shaking their heads in disapproval. What am I trying to do? I can’t be just a mom taking her baby out for the day. I am more than that. I start walking in the direction Matt left and I soon find them admiring the sharks swimming in their aquarium. I shiver at the huge monsters.

”Why don’t we go somewhere to eat?” I suggest and they turn their heads to look at me.

”That’s a great idea!” Mariah exclaims.

”Can we go to a sushi bar?” I beg. ”I wasn’t allowed to eat them for a while for an obvious reason.”

”Nice one Molly,” Eric grins. ”We look at living fishes and end up eating dead ones.”

”Yuck, Eric!” Mariah whines.

”Sushi sounds great to me,” Matt says and puts his arm around my shoulders.

-

The sushi bar is quite a scenery change compared to the quiet calming aquarium. The restaurant is loud and noisy but still very pleasant. I still feel uncomfortable, those dark small eyes are haunting me. I order a lot of sushi for us all.

”It’s my treat today!” I tell them and after a bit of convincing they finally agrees.

Matt is feeding Lilee with the bottle. She woke up hungry in the car on the drive here and the restaurant keeper kindly helped us prepare the bottle. He said he’s got six kids of his own. I can’t imagine ever having six kids. The thought of having that many children with Matt makes me laugh. I don’t think I will continue singing if that happens. One is fine, but I can’t leave a whole family behind with only one parent.

I devour sushi after sushi when they finally arrive. Eric and his friends eat a little slower than me. Matt gives Lilee to me when I’m done so he also can eat. She smiles and waves her hands. Her eyes are brown like Matt’s. I remember how I felt when I saw the positive pregnancy test. I had no idea what to expect, but my life have really become more private and better since I started my career. It is a new feeling to be able to hang out with friends like this and just be myself. The music is not in focus and I love that.

”Hey, Eric!” I call out to him. ”Have you talked with Anne?”

He blushes and shakes his head.

”No, I haven’t done that yet.”

”But you must!” I urge him.

”Who is Anne?” a blonde guy wonder, I think his name is Cade.

”A girl he likes,” I answer him sweetly.

”Is she hot?” Damien asks.

”For real!” Mariah shouts. ”Eric haven’t looked at a girl since he broke up with Eve two years ago.”

”Then it’s about time that you pick up your phone and call,” I tease him.

”Alright I will! Later I promise.”

-

Meeting Steel in the studio did thankfully not bring up any unpleasant attraction again on my side. I still feel affected by him but not turned on like last time. It feels good to work in the studio with him. The professional side of me takes over when I’m working and Steel seem just as dedicated as I am. We get a lot more progress done here than when we started in my father’s house a few months ago. We are already recording our voices and it is a joy to hear him sing. We stop for a quick take away dinner at three pm and we occupy the empty lunch room.

”So, I heard you got a new agent,” he says with a smirk.

”Yeah, Megan Ross. I figured a younger woman will understand me a bit more.”

”I wish I could have seen Rick’s face when you fired him.”

”That idiot,” I mumble aggressively. ”I don’t want him to make a penny off me again. Megan was really surprised when I contacted her too. She accepted without a second thought.”

”Only an idiot would decline your offer.”

”I want to start over again. I’ve been thinking about starting a permanent duet.”

”You have?” He raise an eyebrow at me.

”Yeah and only an idiot would decline,” I imitate him.

”Do you have someone special in mind?”

”You?”

”Me?” he says with surprise.

”You have children, you understand my situation. Not to mention the fact that you are very talented.”

”Says the girl who refused to do one duet with me to start with.”

”I was pregnant and grumpy,” I defend myself knowing it’s a lie.

”Right MD.”

Damn I can’t even fool him.

”So what do you say? Should we see how the results of this duet goes?”

”What does Matt think of this idea?”

”Why don’t you ask him if you want to know.”

”So you didn’t ask him?”

”I’m not asking him to sing with me, I ask you.” He makes me irritated on purpose. ”Why, do you think he will be jealous?”

”Does he have a reason to?”

”Matt’s never jealous. He will be fine with it.”

Steel look at me with his intense eyes. He seem to be thinking deeply about something.

”I think you should take it slow to begin with. Lilee is only a month old and you will regret not spending time with her. If we make a duet, we have to go on a tour to promote us. It is worth planning for the future. You should release this album first and then we’ll see what you want later on.”

I don’t know if I should be surprised by his comment, it is very considerate of him to think of my needs. He said that he likes me, but does that mean that he really cares too? Will things get complicated if we work together? I bite my lip, I don’t want to let go of my dream to work with him.

”So what did Preston and Albin think of Lilee?”

”Don’t ask,” he moans. ”They wonder why I can’t give them a little sister. More children is not on my list unless I find a real woman who actually can stay with them.”

”I’m sure next time will be better. You can’t have bad luck every time you meet a woman.”

”You should be lucky that you found a good man MD. Don’t take him for granted.”

”I won’t. I doubt he’ll ever leave me though. He’s a real fan of Darlene.”

”I’m sure he finds you just as exciting as I do.”

”Thanks, should we get back to work?”

”We must if we want to finish today.”

-

I’m tired after the hard work in the studio. I lean back in my comfortable car and sigh with relief. It feels amazing that I have my own family to come home to instead of my aunts house or a hotel room. It is after nine and I connect my headset to my phone so I can call Jamie while I drive. He picks up almost immediately.

”Hey!” he answers. ”I was just thinking about you.”

I feel so happy hearing his voice again.

”I missed you,” I say out loud and he laugh at my comment.

”I missed you too. How are you doing?”

”Good! I am slowly getting into shape again. How are you doing?”

”Well, I have a few months free before I start filming the other movie. I think I will just take it easy.”

”That sounds nice. You should come visit me. I haven’t seen you in a while.”

”In awfully a lot of months ago,” he agrees. ”Are you sure that you dare to be seen with me?”

”Of course! It’s not like I never met you before. I want you to meet Lilee.”

”I’m sure she’s just as pretty as you.”

”At least. I have been in the studio with Shawn Steel all day. We made a duet together, I will let you hear it if you’re nice.”

”I’ll be nice. Did anything else happen lately?”

I bite my lip, I still feel uncomfortable after the encounter at the aquarium.

”A little girl recognised me and her mom didn’t believe her. I feel so, I don’t know, stupid?”

”It’s alright.”

”Is it? I never had to deny who I was before. I wish I told her mom the truth. I feel so guilty about it.”

”You’re a good girl. You never liked lying. You should be used of it by now after all the years you kept it a secret from your own family.”

”It feels even worse. I’m not sure I can do this anymore. I think it will be easier to just come out clean with my identity.”

”It is your decision, Darlene. I’m sure your fans will love Lilee.”

”I don’t know what to do anymore, I’m confused."

”Just don’t rush anything,” he advice me as I park the car.

”Thanks Jamie, so when will I be expecting you?”

”How about in two weeks?”

”Sounds perfect, I’ll talk with you later.”

”Bye, take care Darlene.”

I lock the car and shut the phone off. I hurry my way up to the apartment. I can’t wait to see my daughter again. But when I arrive no one is home. There is a note on the hall drawer.

We went to my parents for the evening. I hope we won’t be home too late.

We love you <3 Matt and Lilee



I kick off my black high heels with a sigh. Life is quite ironic. I don’t like that it is so quiet here when I’m alone. I decide to take a hot bath and enjoy it with a glass of champagne. It will hopefully remove some of the tension in my body.