Part 10



”Molly?” Anne asks me nervously.

”What is it?”

My sister starts to walk back and forth across the room for a minute before stopping in front of me.

”This is what sisters is for right? I mean talking.”

”You can say anything Anne, don’t feel so nervous about it.”

I don’t know what she is up to but I watch her patiently while she is preparing herself to tell me whatever that now is.

”I have dreams too,” she says slowly, holding her hands hard together. ”I am scared what everyone will think of me. I don’t want to be treated the same way Mrs Gregory treats you.”

”I understand.” I tell her and let my hands rest on my belly. It is only going to get bigger now and I already have back pain. It will soon be over thankfully. I can’t wait to carry my baby in my arms instead.

”I didn’t take a free year.” she finally admits. ”I have been at the dance centre. I do plan to apply to a respectful college but I already decided to apply to a real dance school.” She names Anna’s school of dancing and I sit up straight, all ears for what she was telling me. ”I love to dance, me and my friends do it all the time. If the school rejects me, then I will go to college and live my dream as a hobby instead. I just hope I am good enough, because I am good Molly.”

”I didn’t expect something like this,” I confess with a smile. ”This room is big enough, do you want to show me?”

”Really!” she almost screams in the happiest voice. ”Dad and Martin thinks it is a stupid girly interest.”

”It must have been hard to grow up with men. What music are you using?”

”I have Bree, she isn’t that bad you know. We dance to everything, what would you like to hear?”

”Can you show me the moves without music?” I ask her interested to hear her reply.

”You are one weird sister, but if you prefer that I will.”

Anne starts moving, flowing and letting her body move to the silence in the room. I am lost at the sight of her movements. I feel something growing inside of me what must be pride and admiration. I would not have believed it unless I saw it with my own eyes. I have had endless of argues with my dancers through the years and no one have lived up to my expectations as much as my own sister now performing in front of me. If she can do that with silence, how will it not be with music?

”Continue dancing,” I tell her and walk up to her CD-player, puts in a mix CD and press on the play button. A pop song starts playing and she immediately change her style smoothly into the music. I keep changing the songs till the last one for about fifteen minutes and my sister keeps dancing without any sign of tiredness at my wish. She gently bows to me when the music stop and she then rest on the floor, sitting with the happiest smile plastered on her lips. I understand that smile, it is the same smile I had when I started my career.

”Anne, you are amazing.” I tell her. It is true. She dance better than a few professional, in my opinion useless, dancers.

”Thank you. It means a lot that you think so.” She tries to hide her blush.

I think hard and I know I can’t let Anne’s dream be for nothing. No one can dance that good and not be a professional dancer.

”Can I ask you for a favour? You and your friends?”

”Sure, what is it?”

”Do you and your friends want to perform at my engagement party? I give you free hands.”
”It is only like one week left,” she answer me hesitantly.

”I can only imagine how good it will be considering you just did all this now on impulse.” I give her a dry answer and she blushes again.

”I feel so honoured! Are you sure?”

”There will be a lot of people coming, a lot of people from show business too and connections is the most important thing. We will have fun and you will do what you love the most.”

”I can’t wait to call my friends!” she yells excitedly.

”I better leave then so you can prepare.”

I leave the apartment in a good mood. I feel closer to my sister than I ever was and it feels so good to have a sister to share things with. The guilt inside me is also burning, it would have been the perfect moment to tell her. But the moment I do that, things will never be the same again.

I pick up my phone and dial Anna’s number.

”Hi, it is your favourite person,” I say when she answer my call. ”Are you busy?

”No, I am just looking through some papers, I can take your call now.”

”I found my dancer. She is perfect. I want her in the school in January, do you think you can manage her so she is ready within a year?”

”No problem.” she agrees without hesitation. ”Where did you find her?”
”It is my sister. You will see her next week.”

”Wonderful. Do you want me to give her private lessons too?”

”Later on yes, so she understands how I work.”
”It will be tough for her,” Anna laughs. ”I look forward to it.”

-

With Christmas so close you would think that I already bought most gifts. I usually spend three months before Christmas during my tours to find a special gift to each and everyone of my family and friends. I didn’t do anything exciting these last three months. I have not even left this town once! So I am at the mall again and I find myself trapped in my big red winter coat. I don’t have high hopes to find anything special in here to people that already owns everything. Matt suggested e-shopping just to avoid the crowds, but what is the fun in that? I regret my choice now, trying to pass between the teenagers, mothers with wild children and cosy couples. They don’t see me as I walk, I am just a young pregnant woman in their eyes. A few gentlemen helps me by letting me pass smoothly and by holding up doors. In another world, where I am famous, this could never happen. They would have been all over me by now and I would have smiled sweetly to them with no sign of annoyance. It feels like a dream, a dream I feel far from at this moment. Matt is seeing his old friends from college today so it is the perfect time to find his gift. After looking for a few hours I find myself crying on a bench without finding one single gift. I look ridiculous and I don’t care.

”Madam, are you alright?” a stranger voice asks me and I look up to see a worried guy my age. He has shoulder long styled hair and is quite slim and good looking.

”Who’s the madam?” I joke back through my tears.

”Did you lose someone?” he continues to ask.

”Only my mind. I promise, the mall didn’t seem that threatening before I was in this state.”

”Don’t worry about it, Christmas is the craziest time of the year. I wouldn’t be here unless my sister had forced me to come with her and she ran away as soon as she saw her friends anyway.”

I feel cheered up by his comment.

”I am trying to find Christmas gifts for my family.” I can’t help to tell him.

”I see you found a lot!” he said meaning the absence of shopping bags.

”I have never cried in public before.” I say bit ashamed.

”We have all cried in public. Even the pope.”

”Thank you for the comfort, I feel like such a baby now.”

”Believe me, no one would notice any difference. I’m Eric by the way.”

”Molly.”

”That’s cute!” he tells me with a big white smile.

”Making fun of my name?” I mock him and he does the cross sign.

”I would never! What are we waiting for? Let me escort you through the jungle of crazy Christmas shoppers!”

I take his arm, amused by his personality. He brings me to a book store and it is not as many customers in it. I look at a few cute note books and Eric starts turning the pages in a year calendar you hang on the wall. It has famous people as pictures.

”Look, the man every female in the whole world loves,” He shows me the picture of Jamie without a shirt on. That makes me laugh out loud again.

”That’s true, but what do we get out from it besides broken hearts?”

”Oh, look at this one, she kind of looks like you,” he tells me and show me a picture of Darlene, thankfully fully clothed. I snatch the calendar from him and put the picture next to me.

”I think she is a bit thinner than me.” I joke and gives it back to him. He closes it and puts it under his arm.

”I think I will buy it to my sister.”

I keep looking but I don’t find anything worth buying. Eric pays for his calendar and we move on the next store. I feel better now, I feel safe around all the people and I am having a good time with Eric. I end up buying perfume to everyone just because he said it would be priceless to see their faces when they open the gifts from me and realise they all got the same thing. We decide to eat before leaving the mall and during the meal I realise that Eric is the first friend I ever made who isn’t a part of my crazy life. Being normal for once feels awesome.

”Is that salad good?” He ask me and look suspiciously at my plate.

”Chicken salad is always good,” I tell him sweetly and look at his fries potatoes with a lot of sauce and a big steak. He skipped the green. ”How can you eat all that meat without salad?”

”I don’t need salad. But honestly, are you not still hungry after that… that appetizer?”

”I am trying to keep in shape so I don’t have to lose a lot of weight after all this.”

He shakes his head. ”And I thought pregnancy was a good reason to eat whatever you want.”
”Today I wanted a salad. We’re all different. You look skinny for eating that stuff.”

”Yeah… You never know when you get to eat next time. I just appreciate all the good while I can.”

”You sound like you could die anytime. Do you want to know my secret weakness?”

”What’s that? Cucumber with dip?”

”Donuts,” I moan. ”With stuff on, all kinds of stuff.”

”What’s your favourite one?”

”I don’t know. It depends on my mood.”

”Did you finish eating that? Let’s go to a café and grab some donuts and coffee.

”Sounds like a good plan. Let me pay for the dinner as thank you for saving me.”

He shakes his head. ”A thank you is enough. He puts a bill on the table. ”Let it be all on me for the lovely company. To be honest are you way better than my sister to hang around with.”

We find a café and talk a lot more. He is interesting and we like the same music, the same authors and to try out new things. After a few donuts, one tea and one coffee Eric suddenly goes pale and grabs the table hard. I feel the worry rising inside of me.

”Hello Mister, are you okay?” I ask him.

´”Who’s the mister?” he jokes back with effort. ”I need to go to the restroom, I feel a bit weak.”

I help him over there and a lot of people turn around and watch us worriedly.

”I just need a few minutes, thank you Molly.”

”Don’t mention it.”

I wait for a few minutes anxiously worried and I wonder what happened. He didn’t look sick in any way during the hours I spent with him. When the door finally opens he look slightly better.

”You should go home. Did you drive here?” I ask and he shakes his head.

”No, me and my sister took the bus.”

”Let me take you in a cab. You don’t look well enough to be on a bus.”

”It’s alright, I’ve done it before.”

”I insist,” I tell him firmly and lead him to the taxi point outside the mall.

We get into an empty taxi and Eric tells the taxi driver his home address.

”It’s my heart,” he tells me after a few minutes of silence. ”I forgot to take my pills, I was having too fun. It is nothing serious though but I will live with this condition whole my life and I might even need a new heart in the future.”

”Wow, Eric, that really…” I lose my words. Just to think about all the opportunities he’s missing because of his weak heart. If it was me I would never have been able to go into the music business and sing and become a world star. It makes me sad. He seems like a strong person, a happy and inspirational soul. It isn’t fair how some can get so much and others not. Maybe that is the reason he can appreciate life though.

”Sucks,” he finish my sentence. ”Will you treat me differently now? Like I am made out of glass like my mom does. It annoy me like hell.”

”I bet!” I answer with a smile. ”I wish I had a mom. She died in cancer half my life ago.”

”I am happy my parents are healthy and can deal with all this shit I am causing them. I am old enough to work and have my own home but they won’t let me.”

”I moved from my childhood home a few months ago after I found out about the baby. You are far from the only one who still lives with your parents.”

”I want to go to college, but it is hard for them. I must rest and rest and rest a lot.” He tell me with sadness.

The taxi stops outside a big apartment building.

”Home sweet home. Don’t bother following me to the door, you should go home and rest too.”

”Take care Eric.”

”You too madam.” He close the door before I can answer and I fall back in the seat. The trip to the mall didn’t turn out the way I planned, but it turned out way better than I ever could have hoped. I pick up my phone and look at Eric’s number in my address book. I decide to text him.

Take care.

A message immediately returned.

You too, Mom.

Before I got to bed that night I made a huge donation to a heart fund. It didn’t make me feel better about Eric, but I owe it to him. It is all I can do for him. It is not like I need all money I earned. I only need to breath to make money and the moment I stop breathing I will make even more.