20 Years Earlier

I woke up early that very last morning and watched the workers as they broke down the stages, and the vendors packed their belongings. The scene before me that morning left a heavy weight on my heart.

I sat with my knees pulled up to my chest. The sun danced along the empty field as it rose behind the trees. I still to this day hate having to wake up on the official last morning with no concert or event to look forward to. Even as I got older it was still the worst thing.

As I sat there a loud sob escaped my trembling lips, waking Landry from his sleep. He rolled over and caught me at the window. He got up fast and shot across the room in fewer than five steps. He held me and smoothed out my hair. He hated the idea of leaving just as much as I did.

I couldn't believe I had to leave this amazing weekend behind. When I first found out dad had been planning on dragging me to the festival I wasn't sold on the idea, but after it all ended it became a part of me. Nothing would compare to that one weekend every summer.

"You have my info right?"

I nodded, the lump in my throat was too big.

"And I have yours. We won't lose touch I promise." He planted a soft kiss to my forehead. I remember feeling "Wooed" by his actions.

When his mom returned it was time to pack our things and meet with my dad down in the lobby. An overwhelming sadness had invaded my heart and at twelve it felt like the end of the world. I hoped and prayed that the next year would fly by and then I could see him again, surely his dad would bring him, right? I should have trusted my gut then. Even with all the kisses he snuck my way before we left, a heaviness in my belly told me this wouldn't end well.

We rolled our suitcases down to the hotel lobby. The only part of that morning that was exciting was seeing the guys in Simple Plan lounging on the couches of the lobby. We waved, not wanting to bother them, but they were too kind and came over for some autographs and pictures. I have those pictures hidden away in the box under my bed with all the other memories of Landry.

Dad and Landry's parents took our luggage to the cars, leaving us to say goodbye. Without hesitation, the tears started - not for me - for him. It was his turn and he wrapped his arms around me like an octopus. My face buried deep into his neck taking in the scent of hotel soap that lingered on his skin.

He pulled away first, but went in for another kiss.

"Are you both ready to go?"

Dad had come back seconds before our lips met. I stood on my toes and planted a long kiss to his right cheek. He swiped at the tear that fell from my eyes, and without another word I pulled away and ran to dad. He threw an arm over me and as we walked out the revolving doors one last time I looked over my shoulder and it broke my heart to see him sob like he knew what the next twenty years would entail.

***

Present Day

Daylight peeks through the hotel curtains, and unlike the last time we'd spent the night exploring each other, he was here when the sun rose. His limbs are tangled up in mine and I can't help but press him closer. He moans softly and tugs me into him, nuzzling his nose into my neck. I could get used to this, but there's a part of me skeptical of our relationship lasting or going further than this weekend. I hate thinking about it, but it's hard to picture a real life with him.

"Give me your phone," he whispers.

"What, why?"

He nuzzles further into my neck. "So I can put my number in there."

"Right now?" I suck in a breath as his lips tickle the sensitive spot on my ear at the bottom.

"I don't want to forget."

I groan and reach for it on the bedside table, then roll over and hand it to him. He takes a picture of himself then types quickly. Grabbing his phone he snaps a shot of me, then texts his phone with mine. "Perfect." He sets them both on his side, then wraps his arms around me.

"I have to get ready for work," I groan.

"Call Russell and tell him you're currently occupied." He sneaks a kiss on my lips and tugs me so that I roll onto my back. He places both hands on either side of me.

"I'll come see you perform tonight, but I shouldn't miss my last shift."

Now it's his turn to growl. "Okay. I'll let you go, but first we should really shower." He pretends to sniff under my neck, but it leads to more of his mouth sucking on my skin. I arch back right into his hardness and smirk.

"You're right, you smell pretty bad," I tease.

His laughter fills the space around us as he lowers himself over me. With one last kiss he stands and reaches for my hand. He pulls me from the bed and into his arms. There's no need to undress as we both slept soundly without any clothing on at all.

***

I hate how there are only two outfits left in my suitcase, it means the weekend is over and tomorrow I'll be driving back to Long Island. I tug out my last pair of jean shorts and shimmy them up over my legs.

I'm grateful the time passed by, I expected it to go slow, but with Lars and I teaming up at every station, we made it fun. Now that our last shift is over for the summer, I'm meeting him in the lobby in twenty minutes so we can go to Landry's show together.

Before I ended my shift I purchased a yellow Thirty Seconds to Midnight t-shirt. I cut the sleeves and twisted the fabric in the back to create a cute racerback looking tank. I slip on my homemade creation, and grab the poster I made on the oak tag I bought in the lobby. To be funny I made a sign for him. Even if things don't work out between us I want him to know I'll always be cheering him on from the front row even if I'm not actually there.

The lobby is baron, only a few people rushing in and out. The night time concerts are in full swing so everyone is over there soaking in their last night too. It's been a rollercoaster of a weekend, but I truly needed it. At the very least I can say I got closure after twenty years of wondering, what if.

Lars is leaning up against one of the large columns in the middle of the hotel. Yvone is tucked into his arm. They don't notice me as I walk up, they're too busy lost in each other's eyes. Yvone is stunning, model stunning. She's around Lars and dad's age, but doesn't look a day over forty. Her hair is newly bleached, a bright blonde, and her skin is perfectly tanned as if she'd spent her whole summer on the beach.

"Hey guys."

They both glance in my direction and smile.

"Congrats, can I see?"

She lifts her hand to me. "It's beautiful isn't it? My first husband gave me one of those rings from a cereal box. He had the money to buy me a real ring, but didn't want to spend the money on it."

"I think it's gorgeous, Lars sure knows how to pick out a ring."

She blinks her thick lashes at him as he kisses her head.

We head over to the field. Thirty Seconds to Midnight is playing on the main stage. Thankfully with our connections we slide right into the front with security. Lars finally notices the large neon sign in my hand.

"Do I want to know?" he asks.

"Inside joke," I wink.

He smiles, then takes Yvonne into his arms again as the lights on the stage shutter off and the crowd roars to life. The drums roll, a guitar wales, white lights shine directly at the audience as the crowd erupts in a ferocious scream. The girls go nuts, the guys bang their heads, and when I glance up at the stage Landry is standing dead center, his eyes set on only me.

I lift the sign, shaking it in the air. Lowering it I check his response. His smirk is enough to light up the whole field on it's own. Landry, I want to have your babies, it read. The other side says, front row girl, with an arrow pointing down. His smile never fades, only grows larger when he catches sight of the second side.

Yvonne is enjoying herself, she screams as if she were a teen herself. It's nice not having to be the one to catch concert goers in their mad rush over the barricade. Instead of doing that I sing along to the songs I know. Yvonne and I belt out the more popular tunes, I don't know any others, but enjoy their set regardless.

"What's up TikTok Fest!" Landry screams into the mic.

The crowd goes nuts. A group of girls in the front row squeal, I glance over and find the young girl who I helped the other day. Recognition lights up her face and she waves happily to me.

"This is our last song. We hope you've enjoyed your time here at the festival."

The drum beats a steady rhythm over his words. The bass player, Ashton I think his name is, plays a soft melody.

"We have had a blast. I was a concert go-er like you many years ago, and I am so excited to return and live out my dream of being on the big stage. I'd like to dedicate this last song to someone I met that summer, it's called "Front Row Girl". It goes out to Callie."

The crowd roars, half of them probably didn't even listen to what he had to say, but I sure did. Lars glances over and bumps into me with his hips.

"She's my front row girl, my merch table cutie, the girl who slipped away," he sings just as he had on the radiator.

In awe I stare at him. No one seems to know the lyrics and it hits me that it's new and he must have written it this weekend. I'm in awe by how fast he was able to create the words and have it prepared for the show tonight. His arm moves quickly in the rhythm of the song, I love that it's up tempo and it seems the audience is having the same reaction too.

I don't want the song to end, but all good things must. The thought grasps at my heart like the evil queen is attempting to rip it out. He wants more, but why does this feel like it's over? I want this for him; the stage, the fans, the excitement and I despise the jealous feeling sinking its claws in. There will be days and weeks where he won't be around, but I know when he does come around that he could love me with all his heart.

Landry and the three other boys step forward to the edge of the stage. They grasp each other's hands and lift them into the air, before bowing to the crowd. The roar is deafening. It's easy to see how much of an adrenaline courses through your veins when you're up on that stage. You can see it in all of their smiling faces. I would never want to take that away from him.

In less than twenty-four hours I have to make the ultimate decision. Do I want to hold on and try a long distance relationship? Or was this the closure I need?

I'm about to check on the band when Landry comes jumping off the stage and heads straight to me. He's giving security a run for their money, as the girls start freaking out. He walks by touching the hands of his many fans reaching out for him, but his eyes never leave mine. A determined look is set in his hard features. He narrows his eyes seductively.

Within seconds he's by my side scooping me up into his grip and kissing me in front of everyone. It's like he's trying to claim me and tell everyone I'm his. Camera's flash around us, but I'm not bothered, I'm too distracted by the urgent kiss he's planted on my lips.

***

I stare up at the plain white hotel ceiling in the darkness. Landry and I lay on our backs together, nothing but silence between us. Under the covers our hands are clasped together. We'd started our night with sloppy kisses and sensual touches, and ended up here just lying still in the bed never wanting to let go.

"I can't sleep," he sighs.

"Me neither," I whisper.

Reality of the situation hit both of us at the same time. I don't want this to be the last night we lay here like this. It feels right, but at the same time I can't uproot my life for a man I know so little about. Or maybe I know more than I think.

He throws the covers off and trudges to his bag. He zips it back up and slides into the bed. In the dark I only catch the outline of his body and a shadow of something in his hand. He sets it down between us and the sounds of Blink 182 play. I sit up partially to get a better look, and touch the object. A round hard disk wobbles around under my touch. His walkman.

"This still works?" I ask.

He laughs. "Right before I left for this tour I was cleaning my closet and a box of old stuff fell out. Inside was the walkman. I took it as a sign that I should bring it along for the ride."

I adjust slipping back under the covers, and take his hand back in mine. He releases a shaky breath at the touch.

"Want to hear something completely insane?"

"Hmmm?" he hums beside me.

"I had to sell the house dad and I lived in this past winter. We were lucky to have held onto it for so long, but I needed a fresh start and that house was full of too many memories. I was purging things and in the attic was the panda." I bite my lip. "He had that old musty attic smell, lots of dust, and probably a hint of mold, it was very damp up there. Unfortunately he met his ultimate demise, but it brought me back to that weekend, and who knows maybe it was a sign that I needed to come back."

Landry turns his head to stare at me. "What are we gonna do?" he asks. "Tomorrow we go back to our lives. You should come on tour with me, I'm sure you could find security jobs, hell you could work for us."

I smile, but don't feel it reach my eyes. "As much as I'd love to go on tour with you, I don't think it's the right time to uproot my life. My apartment has a one year lease and it's up in January. Let's see how it goes, you go and do your thing and I'll do mine. We'll keep in touch, we'll talk as often as we can, but I can't go on tour with you right now."

He's quiet and I fear the worst. Suddenly his warm body settles down over me. He relaxes, keeping us under the blanket. Leaning down he plants a soft kiss to my lips.

"We have a show in the city three weeks from today. Let's get dinner and roam the city, I'll be in town for a few days and have the first day to myself. I want to spend it with you. Then we can do this long distance thing, and see what happens."

I arch up into him and a moan escapes his wet lips.

"I'll be in Jersey in December for almost a full month. We could spend time together then too."

"And then if we're still on the same page I'll come on tour with you," I say.

A glowing light from outside shines through, allowing me to see his soft gentle smile.

"Really?"

"Really."

His kisses deepen and my urge to be with him one last time before our weekend ends is strong. I tug on his boxers attempting to lower them. The CD player skips with our every movement, but continues playing.

"It's supposed to be anti skip," he chuckles.

"I think they lied when they said they made them that way."

He smirks and helps me pull his boxers the rest of the way. We remain glued under the covers. His fingers gently dance along the rim of my panties. It's all I'm wearing aside from a sports bra. I close my eyes and allow his calloused fingertips to do what they please.

"I remember the first time I saw you," he whispers. "You walked into the tent with your dad looking all shy. Then you caught my attention and I knew I wanted you, even then."

"You're saying these sweet things to get me all hot and bothered," I smirk.

"Is it working?" He wiggles his brows.

My laughter bounces his body up and down. In one swift movement he scoops me up into his arms and pulls me into him, snuggling his nose into my neck.

"Oh it's working," I giggle.

"Good."

He lifts my chin with his pointer so that our lips are touching. His eyes take in every inch of me. I enjoy the way he regards me as he gently lays me back. Whatever is happening between us doesn't come anywhere close to that one night stand feeling. He kissed me in front of all his fans as if he were announcing to the world that we were together. That most certainly feels like something.

There are so many things about his past that I'm not aware of, things that happened in his twenties that made him seem like a bad person, but the Landry before me is the same one I'd met twenty years ago. There is so much I want to learn about him and I'm willing to give him a chance, because as he said it's better than wondering what if.