TW: MENTIONS OF PREVIOUS PHYSICAL, EMOTIONAL AND SEXUAL ABUSE AS WELL AS PTSD

Spencer wakes up first that morning with Elizabeth still in his arms, the girl that was a stranger not long ago but is now so much more to him. he can't help but lean down to kiss her on the forehead, admiring the way she looks in his hoodie that's way too big for her petite form. he takes a minute to just look at her relaxed face as she sleeps before he got interrupted by her voice "you know watching someone sleep is very creepy" she jokes as she opens her eyes, blinking to adjust to the light in the room.

he laughs at her statement before leaning down once again to capture her lips this time, she kissed back but groaned as she pulled away "you have morning breath" he mocked offense as he pulled back "well your breath doesn't smell too great either but i still kissed you" she tilted her head and hummed as though she was contemplating something before replying "guess you're right" she said before leaning up to give him another chaste kiss that they both laughed into.

"do we have time to eat breakfast together before you go to work?" she asks and he turns to look at the alarm clock "it's still only seven so we have plenty of time" he replied smiling "perfect, i'll go make us breakfast" he kissed her again "you don't have to make anything, we can order in or something" she shook her head at his suggestion "i love cooking and baking, plus i want you to taste my world famous pancakes" she says, exaggerating the words 'world famous' making Spencer laugh.

"alright, whatever you want. can i take a shower though before we eat, i didn't have time before i came over yesterday and um, i kind of sweat a lot last night" they both blushed at the last statement, understanding what he meant "yeah of course, the towels are under the sink in the cabinet" she tells him as she tries to get out of bed, key word: tried. the second her feet hit the floor she did too, her legs felt completely wobbly after last night.

she glared at Spencer as she heard him laughing, he quickly stopped and got up to help her. he picked her up and sat her on the bed, still trying to stifle his laughter to which she sent him another glare "i'm sorry okay" he said but his laughs almost drowned it out, she couldn't help but join in "well i guess you did warn me this would happen" he blushed at that "i hope i didn't go to far last night" he said genuinely and she smiled at his concern "you didn't Spence, it was great. though i do wish i could actually get up to make you some breakfast" she joked

he went to check his go bag, then the kitchen before coming back with an advil and a glass of water for her to drink "this should help you by the time i get out of the shower but if you're still not feeling well my offer to order in still stands" she nods at him gratefully and he leaves to go into the bathroom. she's able to get up after a few minutes and start on making some pancakes, she was almost finished as she heard the water shut off and Spencer walking out of the bathroom minutes later, angrily screaming at his phone "goodbye Morgan!"

she looked at him confused and worried "please tell me you don't have a case again?" she asked and he smiled at her, though it didn't quite reach his eyes "no, don't worry. it's just Derek trying to set me up with one of his friends again" she immediately got insecure and looked away from him, staring intensely at the pancakes "what did you tell him?" she asked quietly but he heard her as in that time he had came behind her, he wrapped his arms around her from behing making her flinch a bit but he ignored it, having gotten used to it by now.

"well obviously i told him no" she sighed in relief but then froze up as he continued "why would i wanna go on a date with someone when i already have a fantastic girlfriend who makes me her world famous pancakes" she didn't move for a while until she heard her name being called "Elizabeth, the pancakes are burning" he said concerned "shit" she muttered and removed it from the pan before turning off the stove and backing away a bit "did you say girlfriend?" she finally asked

he looked at her confused before realization dawned on him "um um i-" he stuttered before taking a deep breath and trying to continue "i'm sorry, i just uh i assumed after last night and you know we've been on a few dates and i really care about you" he ran his hand through his hair as he rambled, a nervous habit he picked up as it started getting longer "i'm sorry, i just thought you felt the same. i should've asked if you wanted to be my girlfriend, i shouldn't have assumed" he looked up at her worried "wait you're not seeing anyone else are you? god i'm so stupid, i'm so sor-" he tried to apologize again but she cut him off with a kiss.

she pulled away and cupped his cheek "Spence i do feel the same way, i'm not seeing anyone else and i would love to be your girlfriend" she said calmly while still smiling at him "you just caught me off guard, that's all" she explained and he sighed in relief before going back in to kiss her again, she smiled into the kiss and pulled away to ask an important question, not knowing that it would affect the whole mood "does this mean i can finally meet your team?" she asked and his face dropped as he pulled away, she got worried but before she could ask about it he answered her question.

"Elizabeth, i think it would be best if i didn't tell my team about us" she looked taken aback before he continued "i'm sorry, but i just think it's best this way. if they meet you it could put you in harms way and i don't think i could live with myself if anything ever happened to you" he explained and her face softened once again as she wrapped him in a hug "if you think that's the right decision then i understand" his tense body relaxed into the hug at that and they finally sat down to eat breakfast together, Spencer soon learned that she was right about them being the world's best pancakes.

over the next two months they hadn't had a problem with Spencer's decision to not tell the team until one night when he came back to her apartment after a case, kissing her deeply the second she opened the door. she laughed against his lips as she pulled away "i missed you too Spence" she said with a small giggle which he found adorable each time it came from her mouth, he took off his sweater vest and his button up to reveal a t-shirt underneath which made her laugh "i still don't get why you dress so different at work"

he laughed at her comment so she continued "i mean seriously, have they ever even seen you in jeans because that's basically all that's in your closet. well that and a concerning amount of purple clothing" he immediately went on the defensive "hey, that's my favorite colour it's not concerning!" he jokingly yelled at her with an adorable pout which she quickly kissed away with a short kiss and a small apology "either way, i dress differently because it gives me some seperation from my work and home life which i really need sometimes"

she looked down, not wanting to start an argument but wanting to bring something up again "is that why you still don't want them to know about me" he sighed before answering "Liz" he replied exasperated "we talked about this, i thought you understood" he replied with a sharp tone "i do understand but i can't help but think that you don't wanna tell them because that would make it all real and-" he interrupted her "and what? you think i don't want that?" he asked and she leaned against the kitchen counter as she continued.

"i think that you're scared of it all becoming real" she said, raising her voice a bit "yeah you're right i am scared, i'm scared that if they knew you be in constant danger of getting hurt" he replied, also raising his voice "yeah? and how does keeping me hidden from a whole team of fucking fbi agents stop me from getting hurt, if anything that would keep me out of danger" she replied, now fully yelling and he got more angry as thoughts of her getting hurt run through his mind "if a team of profilers can't even figure out about you then criminals with grudges against me or my team can't either" he yelled

"a team of fucking fbi agents as you put it knew about Hotch's wife and she still got killed by someone who wanted to get back at him" he yelled even louder until he looked up and saw the tears on her face, immediately regretting everything and all his anger faded away into concern for her "shit baby i-" he was about to start apologizing to her but as he got closer to hug her she flinched away violently "wait wait don't i'm sorry i'll drop it, i'm sorry just don't hurt me please" she cried harder and begged him, making him put his arms down instantly and back away from her.

he would never forget the look of pure fear on her face as she said that, it brought tears to his own eyes "i-" he started but couldn't continue as he backed away more until he hit the wall and put his hand in his hair, pulling violently "i wasn't gonna-" he stopped again "i would never, ever do that" he couldn't look back up at her, terrified of seeing that look on her face again "i'm sorry if i got too loud or angry but you have to believe me, i would never hurt you, ever" he told her

"i-i don't know what i did to give you the idea that i could ever lay my hands on you but i'm so sorry for whatever it was, i would never even think of hurting you, i swear" his breath started getting constricted as he thought he might go into a panic attack "Elizabeth please you have to believe me, i wouldn't- i couldn't" the tears became too much and he stopped being able to speak, suddenly he felt arms around him and he held onto his girlfriend for dear life, as if she would disappear if he let go "i know Spence, i know i promise" she replied but he shook his head, not believing her

"you-you flinched though and the look in your face, god that look. you really thought i would actually hurt you, you didn't feel safe with me, i'm a profiler Liz i know real fear when i see it and that-that was complete fear on your face" she pulled away and cupped his face in her two hands "Spencer, i know you would never hurt me. i know that no matter how mad you get you would never do something like that, i trust you and i have never felt safer than when i'm around you" she says thruthfully, taking a deep breath to continue.

"Spencer there's something i haven't told you" he looked up at her, their teary eyes meeting as she took a deep breath "i only ever had one serious boyfriend before you and he-" he cut her off "you don't have to" he told her, already sensing where this was going but she shook her head "yes i do" he nodded for her to continue "the first few months we were together were great, he had a short temper but i never thought anything of it. after a while though he changed, he got worse. he got vi-violent, he would be sweet one second and then the next something i did would set him off and he would find a way to blame me. he-he would hit me, hard and then later he would tell me it was my fault and even when he apologized he made me feel like i caused his behaviour" she sighed and he wiped the tears streaming from her face.

TW: Mention of r@pe and non consensual sex

"sometimes he-he would make me feel like it was my fault and that because i did something like that i owed him, that-that he deserved some type of reward for 'dealing with me' and even if i said no or that i didn't want to he would-" at this point Spencer started getting angry "stop" he said softly "he will never hurt you again and i promise you that i will never be like that, ever. you don't have to say anything else if you don't want to, you never have to think about him again. i'll tell my team about you if that's what you need so you can know that i'm all in, i will never leave you and i will never hurt you"

another tear slipped from her eye at that and he wiped it away "no it's okay Spence, i believe you. i guess i just got a little worried, i don't know what i would do if i ever lost you" he gave her a light kiss at that "you won't, i promise" he grabbed her arm lightly and lead her to the couch so he could sit with her and lay her onto his chest "how about this, i'll tell Hotch about you so that if something ever happens to me" he felt her grip his shirt tighter "Spencer" she told him, she didn't want to think about anything happening to him.

he puts his hand into her hair because he knows it calms her down "i know you don't want to think about that but with my line of work stuff like that happens all the time no matter how careful i am" she snuggles further into his chest at the thought "i can't lose you too, with everything Ross did i lost contact with my whole family. i can't even remember the last time i talked to my parents, the only one who stuck by me the whole time was Maddie. you and her are all i have left, please i can't lose you"

he leans down to kiss her head "you won't lose me, but i'm still gonna tell him just in case. this way you can always be updated on everything, i'll also tell him which hospital your work at so that if on the off chance something happens to me he can figure out a way to bring me to you" she wraps her arms around him and pulls him in tighter "i promise you i will be careful, i won't ever let you be alone" they both wanted to say something that night, three words that would show the other how much they meant every word spoken that day but they kept it to themselves, waiting for the perfect moment.