"Will you please repeat what you're saying again? Cause I think I heard you wrong." Wei Wuxian looked at Lan Wangji with disbelief. "You said that you want me to rob Wen Ruohan's–who happens to be my boss–"

"Ex boss. I think he knew that you had changed sides when you decided to shack up with me." Lan Wangji grinned his mischievous lopsided smile that made half the women in the country fall in love with him, and the other half died because of the intensity of that smoldering look.

"Wha–excuse me, you're the one who dragged me into your… crazy mythical beast world!" Wei Wuxian gasped at Lan Wangji's audacity to look that good and spouting half truths.

"And yet no one forced you to stay." Lan Wangji grinned again as he squeezed Wei Wuxian's back teasingly. "And I seem to recall that you're the one who dragged me into bed–I mean, mythical beast world." He whispered the last part teasingly and Wei Wuxian blushed.

"Now I know why you look so happy." Wei Wuxian grumbled as he avoided Lan Wangji's touch. It was lethal and could cloud his judgment in a split second. "You thrive on other people's misery."

"Don't tell me you did not enjoy sleeping with me? That's a privilege, you know, you're the only person in this world who has a bragging right to everyone that you've slept with me. Although my manager probably would suggest that you did not do that. She would definitely puke blood."

"Stop. We should get back to the part where you told me to rob Wen Ruohan. What exactly are we going to rob?" Wei Wuxian was curious. He rarely met the Wen patriarch because he was just a low-level soldier. Jiang Yanli on the other hand, had a meeting with him once a month by video call and once every three months face-to-face. And although Wen Ning shared the same name as him, he never met him–as far as he knew, and now he questioned everything after he found out that Wen Ning was not as innocent as he looked.

"He has–no, stole, an important artifact from us. Snatched it right before our eyes, really, and left many casualties by doing so. That was the reason why Wen Qing defected, but it's a story for another day." Lan Wangji held up his hand to stop the question from Wei Wuxian's mouth. 

"And what does this particular artifact do?"

"It was an artifact to determine if you have a mythical beast genealogy or not." Lan Wangji started to explain. "You see, most of the higher level mythical beasts could transform into humans, and they like to… fornicate with humans."

"Like you do." Wei Wuxian smirked and Lan Wangji smiled his best smile, blinding Wei Wuxian as he covered his eyes and groaned.

"We will get back to who did whom later. Anyway, if they know about the offsprings, then it would be peachy since they would teach them about the shapeshifting, the baser urges, anything pertinent to halflings. But, if you did not know that you left a string of mixed blooded children and somehow in their puberty they turned into beasts, for example, wolf, or bird, or tiger…"

"Or dragon."

"Nah, dragons don't really breed outside of the species, the children would die anyway since there's no way a puny human could contain a dragon's egg." Lan Wangji waved Wei Wuxian's accuse off. "Anyway, back to the topic, if you have no idea you left countless of halflings beasts–like that fucker Jin Guangshan–there bound to be a disaster sooner or later. Remember the attack of unidentified animals, around eight years ago? Those were Jin Guangshan's half snake progenies. He quickly covered it up by bribing everyone, and then went to steal our artifacts in case he needed to identify the kids he produced."

"... dragon lays eggs?" Wei Wuxian looked so amused, it made Lan Wangji couldn't help but wanting to kiss him so bad.

"I'm so amazed with your ability to shift your focus to something impertinent." He chuckled and pulled Wei Wuxian close to him. "And you look so cute doing it." He leaned closer to kiss him, but Wei Wuxian pushed him away.

"You're the one who has to focus on something other than… this." He pointed at the hardness that was poking him on the stomach.

"Can't help it, you're too tempting." Lan Wangji bit Wei Wuxian's nape and that's when Xiao Hei woke up.

"Papa? Wei-gege?" He looked at both of the men who were tangled in the middle of foreplay, and his eyes brightened up. "Does this mean that Wei-gege will be my mama?" He looked so excited that Lan Wangji didn't have a heart to correct him, instead he gathered the little boy and put him on his lap.

"Do you want Wei-gege to be your mama?" He asked Xiao Hei but his eyes were looking straight at Wei Wuxian, who became speechless at the direction of the conversation.

"Yes! I love Wei-gege, as much as I love you, Papa, and I know that you love him too." Xiao Hei smiled while Lan Wangji said nothing.

"Hmm, then why don't you ask Wei-gege here if he wanted to be your mama?"

Leave it to Lan Wangji to do the deflection instead of going straight to the point.

"Xiao Hei, are you hungry? You should ask Xingchen to make you a grilled cheese sandwich with three kinds of different cheese and loads of butter. Do you like grilled cheese sandwiches?"

Xiao Hei's eyes brightened at the mention of his favorite food, so he nodded and climbed out of Lan Wangji's lap and ran outside to find Xingchen.

"Nice save." Lan Wangji smirked at Wei Wuxian, who shrugged his shoulders.

"Well, I learned from the best." He winked at Lan Wangji.

"Anyway, back to our plan. I have the blueprint of Wen's mansion, including where the vault would be. There will be an engagement party of Wen Ruohan's son, Wen Xu, in three days. He invited the Lans, and although originally I did not plan to attend, since we need to steal the artifact, I should come to cover your bases from the inside."

"Are you saying that I will not be able to steal stuff alone?" Wei Wuxian gasped dramatically. "The audacity! Who handcuffed you twice back then? I successfully entered your penthouse twice–your password sucks by the way, who put qwerty5678 as their password? That is so…mpff…" Wei Wuxian's rant was stopped by Lan Wangji's kiss.

"Keep spouting nonsense and I will handcuff you again." Lan Wangji trailed his hand down to cup Wei Wuxian's semi hard manhood. "Hmm, you seem to like being dominated. Is that a fetish? Do you have any other ones I should know about?" He left kisses all over and started to take off Wei Wuxian's clothes.

"Maybe we should find out by doing stuff instead of keeping your mouth running. Shut up and kiss me." Wei Wuxian pushed Lan Wangji down and started to unbutton his shirt, mirroring what he had done to him.

"All the talk about breaking and entering also turns you on, Wei Ying? Maybe we should try playing cops and robber next time." Lan Wangji groaned as Wei Wuxian bit his nipple.

"I'm all in for your weird fantasies. And I can't wait to see you in those velcro police pants that the stripper used, you know, the one that will rip off with one pull?"

"Then I want to see you in cuffs and a leather thong, tied spread eagle to my wall where I could do… stuff to you."

Wei Wuxian stopped what he was doing, which was pulling the pants' zipper with his teeth, and looked at the smug Lan Wangji's face.

"Well, that escalated quickly… but I'm open to trying it."

"Good. Now continue please."