Dear Crush

I always admired you as a person, your strength, your spirit, it just does something to me that makes my heart beat twice it's normal length.

When we first met, I noticed how beautiful you were. Your radiant smile, your glowing skin, your down to earth personality, all of it just caught me like a mouse in a trap.

As we became more close, I actually began to develop deeper feelings for you. Feelings so deep that I thought that my heart was on fire. Like a breeze in the wind, you blew me away and opened my eyes.

But, I never asked if you felt the same, because I didn't want to ruin the special friendship we have. I was afraid that you wouldn't feel the same about me and I did not want to be hurt, or cause pain to you.

It was hard for me to accept, I finally found someone that is like me in almost every way possible, but I didn't want to risk it. I respected you too much to even attempt.

There were times I couldn't sleep, times where I couldn't eat. All because my heart ached over my choice to keep my feelings for you bottled up inside. It felt like a knife is stabbing me in the heart, every time I thought about you.

Whenever I see you, I act like that everything is alright, when really I am angry at myself for not telling you how I felt. It tore me apart, I swear I never felt pain like that in my life.

Your eyes, when I look at them I can see nothing but an angelic light that touches my soul. It made me believe that anything is possible. Hearing you laugh whenever I say something funny just drives me nuts in the absolute best way possible, along with the way you carry yourself, confident and strong, yet sensitive and caring.

But, our friendship stood in the way, the last thing I wanted was for our friendship to be dismantled and to lose your respect. So, I kept it within myself. Sometimes I daydream about you just looking into my eyes, staring into my soul, trying to find what lies beneath my rough exterior. Trying to see if I felt any emotion of love and benevolence.

Sometimes I think about if nothing was standing in my way, how would I approach someone as beautiful as you. I honestly don't know. I would just be my nerdy, quirky, self. That is the only way I would approach someone like you, who appreciates me for who I am. But, I never took that chance, god I wish I did, but in the end, it was for the best.

But, it dosent change how I feel about you. I will always treasure our friendship, but I can't help but think what if? I guess we'll never know, will we?

But no matter what, I'll always love you.

Love always
Chey