Enzo

She's quiet. Again.

I force myself to not glance at her every minute, but it's hard to. Not only because she looks damn beautiful in that white blouse and these black pants, with her hair naturally curled, long, and red, but because I can't seem to read her mind.

I don't know what she's thinking. Her face doesn't give away any of her thoughts, and I once could tell what she was thinking by a simple look.

Alex is slowly pushing me away.

No. I did. I pushed her away, I left, and that's when I lost her.

At the next red light, I glance at her again. Her shoulders tense, and she keeps her gaze out the window when she speaks.

"You're staring at me."

My lips curl upwards in a soft smile. "I can't help it," I reply truthfully.

Her head whirls towards me and her eyes widen slightly. I'm confusing her. I know it. Hell, I'm confusing myself.

I grit my teeth and look away. I knew what I was doing when I took the worst decision of my life, two years ago. I knew it was a mistake, but I did it anyway because I'm a fucking idiot.

I can't just come back in her life and act like I've never left her. But here I am. I can't just tell her how I feel, what I feel for her, because I don't have the right anymore, and I need to remember that.

But can I do that? Can I stay away from her, now that I need to be around her all the time, to make sure she stays safe? And more importantly, do I want to stay away and keep my thoughts to myself?

Fuck, no.

I'm fucking selfish. I know it. I became what I didn't want to be, all because of that one decision—

"The light is green, Enzo," her soft voice brings me back to reality, the reality where she is sitting next to me, and I blink.

I like her voice, and how she says my name. God, I fucking—

I clench the steering wheel tightly until I park in front of my apartment building a few minutes later. Silence settles around us, and a minute passes before Alex unbuckles her seatbelt, opening her door.

I watch her. She looks tired. I had all day to watch her while she worked. I noticed her smiling a couple of times today, and it fucking made me happy. I want her to do it more often, but with me, even with the circumstances.

Selfish, again.

Selfish, because now it seems like I only think about me and what I want. But what about her? Does she want me to be around her?

No.

If I can bring Cole Valdez, that son of a bitch, down, then everything will be back to normal. If Alex doesn't want me in her life—and she already made it clear that she doesn't want me to be around her—then I'll do what she wants. Like leaving.

I'll do anything for her.

*

Alex

He follows me after a minute or two. We walk in silence side to side, and I don't dare to look at him.

I don't know how, but something already has changed. Between us, maybe. It's like I don't know what to tell him, and he doesn't seem to know what to say either. But when he does talk, what he says always shock me, because he talks with no filter at all, saying things with that soft smile of his that always makes my heart flutter a little, and it feels like nothing has changed at all.

This day exhausted me. My mind is full of confused thoughts, and I blink in surprise when I realize Enzo already unlocked the door of his apartment, and he steps to the side to let me enter first.

His apartment. Something else I need to deal with, now.

I step inside and look around me again. When Enzo closes the door, I jolt for no reasons at all.

Then I feel his breath on my hair, his presence behind me.

"You okay?" he murmurs, sounding genuinely concerned.

I grit my teeth, nodding. A shiver runs down my spine, because of his voice, so deep and rough and close to my ear...

Why is his voice so fucking sexy?

Wait, what?

I take two huge steps forward before I turn around. My eyes travel from his feet to his face. That's when I notice that he tied his hair into a man bun.

Holy crap. I always thought he looked so damn good like that.

And I need to live with him?

God seriously hates me.

"Are you sure you okay? You look..." He doesn't finish his sentence, and the way he looks at me is so intense it makes my heart skip a beat, and I feel it.

Dizzy, I look away and clear my throat.

"Yeah. Everything's peachy," I say in a small voice.

What the hell is going on with me? With him? With us?

I walk into the kitchen. I know he follows me. I place my purse on the counter, then wince at the view of all the bottles of beer. That place is really... a mess.

Enzo leans against the counter and looks up at me. "Are you hungry? I can cook something."

Raising my eyebrows, I walk to the fridge and look inside. It's nearly empty.

Frowning, I glance at him. "Do you even live here sometimes?"

He furrows his eyebrows as well. "Uh, yeah?"

"Well, there's nothing you can cook with this." I point the empty fridge. "You have more beers than food in there."

He walks towards me and looks in the fridge as well. Wincing, Enzo runs a hand through his hair and looks away.

"Right. I haven't realized..." He shakes his head, sighing. He still doesn't want to meet my eyes. "Well, I can order something."

He turns around and starts opening the kitchen drawers, rummaging through papers of all sort.

I'm still concerned about what I've seen and realized. I take a step towards him.

"Enzo," I say carefully.

"Yeah?" He still doesn't look at me.

I rest a hand on his shoulder. He tenses but doesn't push me away.

"Hey. Look at me."

He finally does. Our eyes meet and I hold his gaze.

"It's not urgent, okay? I'm not that hungry..."

That's kind of a lie, but it doesn't matter. Enzo narrows his eyes at me.

"You need to eat, Alex." He starts looking through the papers again.

"Enzo," I say, and this time I force him to look at me by gripping both of his large shoulders. He raises his head, and for a moment I forget what I was about to say because we're standing close, too close.

I open my mouth, and his eyes drop on it.

Abort mission. Abort the fucking mission.

"Let's focus on something more important, like why is this place such a mess and why is there more alcohol here than in a bar?" I finally declare in a breath, looking him in the eyes.

His eyes flicker. Then he sighs, leans against the counter behind him, dragging me with him.

"It doesn't matter," he says, his jaw clenched.

"Are you kidding? It does!"

Surprise fills his eyes. He's surprised that I care.

So am I. But it's true.

"It's over, now. Okay?" he says in a soft tone, and it concerns me that he's the one trying to reassure me about something that is definitely more important than what he's trying to make me believe.

He doesn't want to talk about it. I guess I understand. There's a reason why he drinks so much—or maybe drank. Deep down, it's like I know why, but I tell myself that it's not the reason and that I'm delusional.

He probably didn't drink because of what happened between us. I mean, he chose to leave. So why would it affect him?

Shaking my head, I look up at him. "Are you okay?"

His stare is even more intense than earlier. Then he looks up at the ceiling and mutters something under his breath. I only catch the words why and so amazing.

"Enzo?"

"I am now," he answers finally, dropping his head down to look at me.

I now realize I'm still clutching his shoulders. I let go, my hands falling to my side, but he's quick to catch my wrists with his hands. Surprised, I watch as there are conflicted emotions happening on his face, but then he lifts one of my hand towards his mouth, placing the other over his heart.

"Thank you." He presses his lips on my hand. I take a deep breath.

I don't know what he's thanking me for.

"For caring," he clarifies. "Even if I don't deserve it. After everything."

I don't know what to reply. My heart hurts, and I know that he's hurt, too. We're both broken and a mess. Enzo has his own problems, his own demons too, and I realize that now.

Can I forget about the past? About what happened between us to focus on right now, on the present, on this very moment?

If I can do that and forgive him, then maybe everything will be easier.

I take a deep breath and exhale. I clutch his shirt in my hand before I release him. He doesn't let go of my hand right away, but he eventually does, after giving it a squeeze.

"I'm fine with pizza," I say, and he blinks in confusion before he understands. I look around me. "Now that I have to live here with you, we need rules, starting with all these beers."

I find a trash bag and start to pick up every bottle. Enzo watches me in silence. I glance at him after a while, raising a finger.

"No more beers. And we have to clean this mess. What's this smell, too?" I grimace, shaking my head.

Enzo finally reacts and frowns. "I don't smell anything."

I roll my eyes. "Of course not."

I hear him order pizza for us, and then he joins me in the living room, where I'm gathering all the bottles here as well. Enzo starts to help me, and we clean up in a comfortable silence for the first time since we arrived.

"A friend of mine picked up some of your clothes and things from your apartment, by the way," he declares after a moment, glancing up at me. "Your stuff is in your room."

Your room. I'm here since last night, and he's already talking like this is my home, too. I nod to what he said, glad that I won't have to wear the same clothes tomorrow.

When our pizza is here, we've cleaned up most of the place. I'm glad we did this. Enzo and I sit on the couch then, and we eat the pizza there while searching for a movie to watch.

It's like everything's normal again. Like there's no one out there who wants to hurt me for revenge. Like Enzo never left me.

We still don't talk about what's important. About us. I'm not ready, and I guess he's not either.

He doesn't sit too close to me, but sometime during the movie, he gets closer, and then his arm is around the back of the couch, and his fingers play with my hair, but I think Enzo doesn't even realize it. I do, though. Of course that I do.

I don't know if it's a good or bad thing that I like that.

I like his... touch. It just feels natural.

Oh man. What do I do?

*

Hellooo! ❤️

I hope you liked this chapter! So simple, yet so important. I love them :)

Don't forget to vote! I love you all and I'll see you in the next chapter!

Audrey