Alex

Stay with me.

That's what he said. But will he stay with me, once everything is over? Once he doesn't need—or feel—like he has to protect me?

No. No, he won't.

I feel so stupid to say yes. I feel weak and tired, and like everything around me is falling apart.

I told myself I wouldn't cry for Enzo again, and I did. I told myself I wouldn't ever be in his arms again, or in his life, and here I am.

He asked me to trust him earlier, and I somehow... did?

No. You just didn't have a choice to follow him if you wanted to get out of that damn store where Cole Valdez was smiling at you, probably wanting to strangle you to death. For revenge.

Two years ago, I trusted him. It seems so easy to just say fuck it and be back in his arms, trusting him with all my heart.

But what we used to have is gone.

Right?

I sigh, closing my eyes. What we had is gone, and I feel like I am gone. Who am I?

I'm Alex Pierce.

I need to find that part of me back, that part that made me... me. The only problem, I don't know what that is.

I scoff under my breath to not catch Enzo's attention. I should probably ask him what he thinks. After all, it seems like he's sure to know who I am.

I'm slowly finding you back, he said on our way to the restaurant, hours ago.

Is that true? No. It's not.

"We're here," Enzo's husky voice startles me.

He clears his throat and leans back in his seat, turning his head to look at me. I ignore his stare and glance at the apartment in front of us.

"You live... here?" I question, realizing how nervous I suddenly am.

"Hmm hmm."

He opens his door and climbs out. I stay in my seat, not wanting to have anything to do with Enzo and his personal space.

I don't want to be in his bedroom—what am I saying? He'll have a guest room, or I swear to God...

Enzo opens my door, leans in my personal space, and noticing my expression, furrows his eyebrows in concern.

"It's safe here," he says, his eyes staring intensely at me. "I wouldn't bring you here if it wasn't."

"That's not what I was worried about," I mumble under my breath, then climbs out of the car, forcing him to step back.

He raises an eyebrow. "What were you thinking about?"

Your guest room. "Nothing. I'm tired. You know, running away from a murderer is exhausting."

He grins, and he doesn't hide it. "Tell me about it."

I scowl, not wanting to joke with him or amuse him in any way.

"Anyway, let's go." I start walking.

"Oh, lead the way," he says amusedly in my back.

I stop in my track. Right.

I don't show him my annoyance and wait until he starts walking in front of me so I can glare at his back.

"I can't see you but I know," Enzo declares, shaking his head.

I blink in shock but keep my mouth shut. Him and his stupid abilities as an agent, I guess.

We climb up some stairs, walk down a corridor and stop in front of a door. Once he finds his keys, he glances at me for a moment before he opens the door.

"Here. Huh, don't look at the... mess." He steps in after me and throws his keys on the table at the entrance. "Yeah, that's my little... home."

Probably the first time in a while I see Enzo this... what would be the right word? Not shy, but kind of not in his element at all.

I glance around and widen my eyes. Empty bottles of beer are left everywhere where it's possible. The kitchen is right there when we enter the apartment, and I step a little further, seeing the living room, where tons of papers and empty bottles are laying on a coffee table.

There's not a lot of colors. Of life. And it disturbs me. Not that I see Enzo as that kind of guy who decorates his house and all.

But it seems just... empty. And as much as my life is a fucking mess and I feel empty since the last two years, I never gave up on making my apartment look at least somewhat decent. It made me feel better, like my life was not that much of a mess.

I turn around to face Enzo, who's standing in his kitchen, staring at me with a neutral expression, but the way he clutches the edge of the kitchen table, his knuckles turning white, tells me otherwise.

Just like me this morning, he apprehends my reaction. I don't know how I should feel about that.

Instead of making a comment about the hundred empty bottles of beer, I point out something else I noticed as soon as we entered the apartment.

"You have access to the security cameras?" I look at the monitor on the wall at the entrance, and he follows my eyes, then nods.

"I told you. You're safe here. No one can hurt—"

"Stop your sentence right here, I got it." I sigh, rubbing my eyes tiredly. Then, "Can I take a shower?"

Enzo's expression softens, and he nods. "Of course. You can have anything you want here."

It seems like he wants to add something, but he stops himself in time.

I ignore what he just said and focus on important matters.

"So I can't even go to my apartment for my clothes and the things that I need?" I ask, crossing my arms.

He lets out a breath and takes out his phone. "I'm handling this, don't worry about it."

I bite the inside of my cheek to not ask for more. Or to say something like I don't want you to handle anything, I want you to leave just like you did years ago so it would be easier for me to live like nothing happened.

I turn around to leave like I know exactly where the bathroom is when a thought stops me.

"Is Sasha gonna be okay?" I ask, frowning.

He nods. "Like I said, Jake took care of her."

"No, I'm talking about Cole Valdez seeing her today. With me." I take a step towards Enzo, staring at him. "You can't just think about me. If Sasha will be in danger because of me, then—"

"Alex." Enzo takes a few steps until he's right in front of me. I swallow. "I know. Your friend won't be in danger. Jake will keep an eye on her if anything happens."

"And I just have to trust you, right?" I reply bitterly, but somehow, I can't even force myself to be a bitch, today.

God, I need a nap. Or like fifteen naps.

Enzo takes a deep breath, but his eyes never lose its intensity.

"You know who I am, Alex."

"Do I?" I look around me, making it clear what I'm thinking right now.

Enzo understands and looks down, his jaw clenched.

"This is not..." He shakes his head. "You're not the only one who had it bad in the last two years."

I blink, and my expression must soften because when Enzo looks up, he seems genuinely surprised.

I hate myself for that. I can't just feel bad for something he did. It's his fault, not mine.

Gathering up some courage, I take the last few steps until we're inches apart. His eyes meet mine, and I raise my chin.

"Take off that tracker you put on me earlier, Enzo."

Slowly, he does. His hand goes behind my ear and he takes off whatever he put. I'm not even mad anymore, because that's what saved me. He found me because of that.

His hand lingers there, his fingers brushing my skin, my hair. I don't even find the strength to move away, because I feel like this would hurt him. So for a reason I can't explain, I don't step away.

Wow. I'm here, worrying about hurting him, when he didn't think twice before hurting me when he left, two years ago.

Pathetic, Alex.

"This isn't permanent, Enzo," I finally declare in a whisper, taking a tiny step back until his hand doesn't touch my skin anymore. "Only temporary."

Just like you and I.

*

I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW IT'S BEEN A WHILE BUT HEY I'M BACK WITH A NEW CHAPTER. ❤️🙈

I missed Enzo and Alex, and I have a lot of planned for them... *in my head* but hey we'll get there!

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