Author's note: Updating a day earlier because I have a feeling I might be too sick and tired to update tomorrow.

Basically, I did some intense cycling at a small island, it left me half-dead. Literally. Don't ask why I did something intense (and dumb) like that 😂😂😂😂.

Also, Wattpad is giving me lots of errors again, idk why, I have a feeling I might not be able to update if I don't do so now ._.

Edit: Yep, something is very wrong with Wattpad. This edit is after 1h++ when the chapter was updated. It is not showing up in the notifcations, and I don't know when it will 🤷‍♀️.

Veau stared at the hand on his shoulder, wearing a bored look on his face.

“Half-brother, half.” Veau corrected his half-brother, Zeau.

“Still my brother.” Zeau was unfazed, still smiling kindly. 

Veau hesitated, before patting Zeau’s hand on his shoulder, walking into the hidden room. The hidden room in the cave was completely empty, there were only the torches on the wall that provided them light and at the end of the room, there were chains attached to the cavern wall, holding a figure captive. 

In the centre of the room, there was a wooden table sprawled with embalming tools. The tools were stained with blood, and Veau observed the tools with a frown. Veau picked up one of the tools from the table, noting a torn, bloodied white feather stuck to it. He plucked the feather away, disintegrating it with his dark magic. 

“Well, brother, because of your needless interference,” Veau turned to face Zeau, tossing the tool away as it landed noisily on the ground. “A human will soon stumble upon this place.” 

“Wouldn’t be the first time,” Zeau shrugged, picking up the tool from the ground and placing it on the table. “The only ones who can enter the bottom of Death’s Edge, other than me and you, are mortals, who don’t make it alive when they reach the bottom.” 

“Yes, and now, there is one. Alive.” 

“How is it possible for a human to stumble upon this place, alive and unharmed?” Zeau questioned, frowning.

“The mortal is with Xue.” 

Zeau paused, the smile dropping from his face.

The figure that remained still the entire time behind them started to move, the chains jingling softly.

“Are...are my ears deceiving me?” Zeau smiled again. “Are you saying Hana and Xue decided to come down here?” 

“It’s another mortal, along with Xue.” 

“I had gone to the heavenly realm after tricking that soul fragment of Xue,” Zeau raised his eyebrows in surprise. “Three years had passed, and I made my way down here today to receive such unexpected news?” 

“The mortal is...unique, Zeau. I have no doubt they would find their way here soon enough.” 

“So, this would be called a predicament in--” 

The chains on the wall started to jingle noisily. 

The figure seemed more agitated than ever, and the two men stopped talking. 

Zeau smiled, lifting his palm up and taking the black flames from the torches, pulling one of them towards his palm. He approached the figure hanging on the wall, bringing the flames closer.

“You are becoming lively after hearing those news, especially after hearing those familiar names.” 

The flames revealed a man with a handsome countenance, with long, straight, copper brown hair going down his back. He was tanned and he had faint scars all across his face.

Despite that, his features didn’t appear any less attractive. The unique part about his features were his sharp, different coloured eyes. His right eye was a greyish-black, while his left was a crimson red. 

The man was lean, and his upper body was completely bare, showing the faint scars on his chest and abdomen. His wings were spread out, the right wing was completely white while the left wing was completely black. His wings were unlike an angel or a demon, it had characteristics of both species. 

Alas, the beauty of his peculiar wings were ruined by the blood staining every part of it.

“You are just eager to meet them again!” Zeau played with a bloodied tool in his hands, leering at the man. 

“Am I not right, K’xug?” 

***

Cecil found herself submerged in icy, cold water and her eyes burst open. She glanced above, seeing the light and she swam to the surface, her movements hasty as she squeezed her eyes close. There was nothing else she could see around her except for the light at the surface of the water. 

She hit the surface, gasping for air and to her surprise, there was another person gasping for air beside her. She noticed his ash blonde hair, instantly knowing who it was. 

“Cecil, are you okay?” 

“I am completely fine,” Cecil didn’t feel any particular pain around her body, nodding vigorously. “That gust of wind saved our lives.” 

The two of them started swimming slowly to the land, side by side. 

“We were lucky.” Xue stated softly, scanning his surroundings carefully. 

The area they were in was like a swamp. However, the strangest part of the swamp was how clear the water was. Though they couldn’t see what it was like when they were submerged, from the surface, the water was crystal clear. There was nothing inside the water other than the weeds that grew inside the water. 

“It doesn’t make sense for there to be wind here.” Cecil frowned to herself, before glancing at Xue swimming beside her. 

The light seemed to be focusing on Xue, the water dripping down from his hair to his face, all the way down to his neck and chest. It was as if the world was trying to highlight his unblemished, handsome features. 

Cecil suddenly recalled how this was a novel, and the man beside her was the great lord protagonist.

The protagonist would always have a ridiculous plot armour around them, and a halo that doesn’t allow them to die no matter what.

So that explains where the gust of wind came from, and by some stroke of luck thanks to the protagonist’s halo, we ended up in the water. 

The plot armour...is really ridiculous! 

The two of them touched the surface, standing up as they wringed their outfits dry. 

“Thank you, Xue.” 

“Hmm?” 

“You saved my life,” Cecil smiled at Xue, wringing her hair as well. “If you weren’t here, I would have died without a doubt.” 

Xue paused, looking up at Cecil, his hair and clothes still dripping wet. “I didn’t do anything, we were lucky to be saved by that random gust of wind.” 

“Well, I have a feeling that if you weren’t here, that random gust of wind wouldn’t be here as well.” Cecil continued smiling. “It also doesn’t change the fact that you jumped off the cliff to save me. I truly am grateful, Xue. I cannot thank you enough.”

Xue glanced away, wringing at his clothes again. “No need to, you don’t need to thank me for anything.” 

“Huh…”

Xue walked on, leaving Cecil puzzled by his words. 

It was only right for me to say thank you.

I am not Hana yet he risked his life and jumped down, to try and save me.

“I can only say thank you to--” 

Xue sneezed.

Cecil halted, noticing that she was shivering from the cold.

“What were you saying?” Xue turned around, facing Cecil.

“Nothing,” Cecil shook her head. “We need to find a place to settle down and to make a fire, and change our clothes.” 

“Clothes? We aren’t carrying anything on us.” Xue furrowed his eyebrows, lifting his palm and conjuring a small ball of fire. “It’s only the fire that is possible.” 

Cecil beamed, lifting up her hand and showing Xue the ring on her finger. “I have this now.” 

“A storage ring? When did you…?” 

“It’s a family heirloom.” 

Xue nodded in understanding. “Oh.”

She was still taken aback at how many people were easily believing her lies. 

“I have some clothes that Hana bought for you,” Cecil started to say, her finger went to her ring, wanting to give it a tiny rub to withdraw the items. “Ah, if you are hungry or injured, I have everything to--”

Cecil sneezed this time. 

“You take care of yourself first.” Xue frowned, his tone disapproving. “Stop concerning yourself over me.” 

“It’s fine, I am alright, I have my own clothes here too. But first, we need to change you out of those clothes or you are going to catch a cold--” 

“You are not doing any better yourself,” Xue interrupted, the gloomy look back in his eyes. “And you know what I am, I do not fall sick like humans.”

“I’ll be fine, Xue."

Xue clicked his tongue, grabbing Cecil by the shoulder as he shook her lightly. “Prioritise yourself first!” 

For once, the soul fragments all agreed to what Xue was saying to Cecil...except for Sid who was in a complete disorientated state.

After all, the poor lad woke up from his sleep in an abrupt manner.

“I can’t do that,” Cecil widened her eyes, blinking rapidly. “Ho-how can I do that? When you clearly just jumped down to save me? You risked your life for me, I feel so guilty that--” 

“I wouldn’t die by something like that! And I do not need your thanks, or your guilt!” Xue tightened his grip on her shoulder, shaking her even more. “I didn’t jump down to save you, just for you to feel that way!” 

“I can’t help feeling that way!” 

Xue sighed, putting down his hand down from Cecil's shoulder, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Why...why did you even do something so stupid? Why did you try to sneak an attack on Mir?” 

“I wasn’t sneaking an attack on him, I...I only wanted to help Hana get away from him,” Cecil bit on her lower lip. “And I wanted to create a chance for you, to get the upper hand.” 

“At the expense of your own life?” 

“That…I didn’t expect to be thrown off the cliff like that.” 

“Then what did you expect?” 

“...getting hurt in some way? It would just be a small injury anyway.”

Xue snapped. 

The thought of her allowing herself to get hurt for the sake of others, especially him, upset him more than anything else.

It was even worse that Cecil called her injuries as "small". In his eyes, a small injury was still an injury!

“Getting hurt? Small injury?! Cecil, Mir isn’t a mortal!” 

Cecil flinched back.

She felt that Xue was going to kill someone in his current state. The rage was swirling in his grey eyes.

“I am sure you know the differences between your strength and his strength!” Xue raised his voice, anger lacing his voice. “Getting thrown off the cliff was only one of the scenarios that could happen to you!”

“I couldn’t help it, I-I was panicking! I only wanted to help!”

“Did it ever occur to you that we needed your help?! That we could handle things on our own?!” 

“I…” Cecil stuttered, hurt flitting past her eyes. “I didn’t mean it in that manner, Xue.” 

“We never asked you to help! Not at all!” 

“I...I…”

Xue caught the hurt in her limpid, onyx eyes, gasping lightly as he felt a sharp pain in his chest. He recalled the words he had uttered to her, his anger dulling and he cursed softly to himself. 

“I’m sorry, Xue.”

“No, no, that was not what I was trying to say,” Xue sighed, raising his hand to his forehead, covering it. “I didn’t mean it that way, Cecil, not at all.” 

“I’m really sorry.” 

“Shut up! Don’t apologise!” 

Cecil flinched again, her eyes growing wide. 

Xue cursed to himself again. 

The person to apologise should be him instead, not her!

He slowly inched forward, placing both of his hands on Cecil’s shoulder and he leaned down. His grey eyes held a mixture of emotions, but yet, he still seemed so gentle. 

“I really am--” 

Xue covered her mouth with his hand.

Cecil blinked rapidly.

“Wait, don’t talk,” Xue sighed, exasperated. “At this rate, this conversation would go nowhere, so...hear me out. Don’t say anything or I might just....” 

Cecil nodded in agreement.

Xue removed his hand on her mouth.

“This...this isn’t your first time coming close to death,” Xue lowered his voice, trying his best not to sound irritated. “If it’s not to help me, it’s for Hana. If it’s not to help me and Hana, it’s for my other soul fragments.”

Cecil opened her mouth to respond, before she remembered agreeing not to say anything to Xue. 

“If it weren’t for me and Hana, you wouldn’t be stupidly throwing yourself in harm’s way so recklessly, just to help us or protect us. Every time you are close to death, it always involves us.” 

Cecil ducked her head down, since Xue was speaking the truth. She sneaked a glance at the hands on her shoulder, realising they were trembling faintly. 

Cecil was shocked.

Xue is...afraid...for me?

“For once...just once, Cecil," Xue leaned in closer, one of his hands moving from her shoulder to the top of her head. "Just for once, stop doing all that.”  

“Eh?”

“Stop thinking for us, stop helping us, stop putting us over yourself.”

“I...do that?” 

Xue raised his eyebrows. 

“Ah, sorry, I can start talking now, right?” Cecil questioned.

Xue twitched in anger, if he heard Cecil apologise to him one more time...

“This is exactly what I mean,” Xue suspired, sounding helpless. “You don’t even realise how you are always prioritising us over yourself, and it frustrates me.”

“…” 

“Maybe I should train with you again, and make you tired again,” Xue withdrew, taking out his spear and spinning it around his hands. “That day, in the room after suffering enough from the training, you finally started to grumble and think for yourself, wanting someone to pamper you.” 

Cecil knew Xue was referring to the time when he applied ointment for her bruises, in her sleepy and grouchy state. 

“I...I thought I told you to…!” Cecil began to blush, a faint red hue on her cheeks. 

“Forget about it?” Xue smirked, shrugging. “I already said I didn’t want to. What were the words you said back then? Ah, that’s right…”

“So now you are admitting it’s your fault?”

“No, I--th-that wasn’t me!”

“Okay, sure, it wasn’t you.” Xue nodded softly, his tone teasing as he started to walk away. 

Cecil started to chase after Xue, until her knees decided to fail on her and she collapsed to the ground. Xue heard a strange noise behind him, and he turned around, hurrying to Cecil’s side when he saw her sitting on the ground with a confused stare. 

“What’s wrong? Did that bastard Mir hurt you?” Xue fussed over her, keeping his spear aside. “Are you alright? Where did he hurt you?” 

“No, it’s just exhaustion. The battle we had earlier took a bigger toll on me than I expected,” Cecil accepted Xue’s help, her legs shaking slightly. “Along with meditating the day before, it accumulated. It will all go away as long as I have some good rest.” 

“Again? Why are you still training so hard?” Xue frowned, unhappy. “What’s the urgency?” 

“It’s for--” 

“For me and Hana, isn’t it? To protect us from danger, or to help us if the need arises?” 

“...”

Her mouth was left hanging open, and Cecil awkwardly shut her mouth. There was no need for her to confirm, Xue was clearly right. 

Xue has lost count the number of times he had sighed. 

“I knew it, seems like we guessed right.” 

“We…?”

Kai: “I told you, Xue!”

Alric: “I sh-should have taken the hit from that necromancer back at the academy, instead of Cecil…she almost died because of me…”

Zasiok: “So this was one of the ‘almost death’ moment Xue was referencing?” 

Leonaut: “Woah, wait a minute! Almost died? Cecil almost died because of you?!” 

Alric hid himself in a corner.

Sid: “My goddess almost died?! Ho-how could this happen?!” 

All the soul fragments stared at Sid. 

Leonaut: “You bastard, when did you wake up?” 

Sid: “Just a while ago...wait a minute, who are you guys?” 

Xue put up a mental wall, the conversation wasn't helping him in anyway. He bent down, scooping Cecil into his arms. 

Cecil shrieked.

“Xue--!”

“I’ll really drop you this time if you ask me to put you down.” 

“I’m really heavy since my clothes are soaked! And we still need to find a spot for us to rest!” 

“I’ll find a good spot for us, be quiet and stop struggling.” Xue stated, walking slowly with Cecil in his arms. Within the deserted swamp, there were only two of them.

“But--” 

Xue shifted, wanting to drop Cecil to the ground.

Cecil gasped in horror, wrapping her arms around Xue’s neck in a hurry. 

“Alright, alright! I won’t say anything, and I won’t move!” 

Xue showed a rare teasing grin, carrying Cecil in his arms as he started to roam around, looking for a good spot to rest.

Cecil observed Xue quietly, her eyes tracing his attractive features. She thought back to the words Xue had uttered to her, finding herself smiling unconsciously.

"For once, just once, Cecil."

"Just for once, stop doing all that."

"Stop thinking for us, stop helping us, stop putting us over yourself."

For the first time, such words were said to her.

For the first time, she realised how she had not been treasuring herself.

For the first time, she realised this man truly cared for her.

From disliking her, to caring for her to the point where he openly showed his concern and his fear for losing her.

They had come a long way.

Cecil felt the fatigue overtaking her, and soon enough, she found herself drowning in the comfortable warmth of Xue’s arms around her. 

Despite her shivering and the cold, Cecil still felt warm on the inside.

“...Xue.”

“Mm?”

“Thank you.”

“...go to sleep, Cecil.”

She smiled again, unwrapping her arms around his neck.

"Okay."

She laid her head on his chest, hearing the sound of his soft heartbeat against her ear.

For once, she didn't feel flustered in his arms.

This feels so nice.

The feeling of being in his arms...is nice.

Cecil knew she should feel guilty at these thoughts, but she didn't want to feel guilty. In fact, she wanted to stay longer in these pair of strong arms that gave her a certain warmth, as if she was completely safe with this man.

Being this greedy is fine, right?

Just this once, for myself...I want to remain in this warmth, in these arms.

Just this once.

Cecil snuggled closer, eventually drifting off to sleep. 

***

Pt. 1

《 start 》

Are my ears playing a trick on me?

Did I really hear them utter your name?

I have lost my sense of time down here, ever since that day.

Xue, I have failed you.

Both as a friend and as your subordinate.

...even if I know I have failed you, I still cling onto the hope of seeing you again.

It would be great to see you again, my friend.

That Supreme God that always grins with arrogance.

Though...I know that I probably wouldn't witness such a sight again.

I wonder how much you have changed.

I wonder how much they have changed you.

《 stop 》

***

Pt. 2

《 start 》

Was I too harsh?

I...I think I was too harsh.

Damn it.

Cecil Lan, why can you not see it?

One day, if you were to disappear from my side just to help me, or to help us...

There is no point.

Without you, there is no point to anything.

《 stop 》

***

Author's note: I may or may not be unresponsive for the next day or two, because I am suffering from body aches, sun burns and mosquito bites. Everywhereeeeee! On my body!

#iregretmylifedecisions
#whatismylife
#dyingontheinside