hoseok believed all of this was just becoming unrealistic. why on earth was dean around all the time? every single time he made an attempt to visit yoongi, pick him up after classes, pop around to his apartment, he always seemed to be too late. dean walked him home, dean did everything hoseok used to. it wasn't fair, and hoseok knew this, and he decided on doing something about it. he visited taehyung.

"it's been a while since you were here." taehyung was littered in hickeys, from many different people. hoseok's face was tear stained and puffy, and he nodded gently.

"i know. can i come in?" hoseok walked in without an answer, pushing his way past the orange haired and entering the apartment. he didn't even stop to acknowledge that a girl was sat on his couch, in her bra and underwear. he just waved, then proceeded to kneel down to stroke taehyung's dog.

"lisa, i think you're gonna have to leave. i need to talk to hoseok." taehyung handed lisa her clothes and planted a kiss on her cheek, sending a wink her way. she simply nodded and put on her clothes, slipping on her sandals and bidding goodbye to the pair.

almost as soon as lisa was gone and taehyung had turned away from the closed door, hoseok was cupping his face and crashing their lips together. it felt wrong and dirty, but he didn't care. he would rather feel wrong than abandoned.

"hoseok, hoseok stop." taehyung pushed the boy away gently and sighed, hands resting on his sides and breathing heavily, chest rising and falling quickly. "you know you don't want to do this. you like-"

"don't say his name, please don't say his name. just make me forget." hoseok whispered, hands falling to grip his shirt and pull, bringing their foreheads together. "make me forget everything but your name."

"are you sure about this?" taehyung's voice was air and hoseok felt he should be thinking this through, but he didn't.

"i'm sure. do it, taehyung-ah." hoseok growled, and they were kissing again.

ㅡ

hoseok's phone chimed a lot of times, but he had no time to pick up. with taehyung on top of him and his voice beginning to croak, he didn't have the willpower to face anybody else but the younger boy.

walking down the street now felt more uncomfortable than it should be, hickeys now painting his skin and other areas that the public eye can't see. he was hoping he wouldn't run into anybody he knew, especially yoongi. the guilt was settling into his gut the further he walked away from taehyung's apartment, and his eyes squeezed shut for a few seconds every time he took too big of a step. the crowds seemed to be thinning as the sun began to set, school children returning to their schools to revise and adults staying in their homes, scared of korea's night life. hoseok, for one, embraced this.

when he saw jimin, he strolled straight past, not caring that he was close with yoongi and would most likely snitch about the hickeys he was covered in. he didn't care if yoongi told him off - he would argue back, taehyung always took good care of him, why should he be scolded for sleeping with him?

when he returned to his dorm, students were doing the same as they normally did, and it comforted hoseok a lot. it was nice to remember that other people's lives were ordinary, not the same as his was. he liked knowing that people were happy, even if he personally wasn't. he tried his hardest to avoid stares he was receiving, almost barrelling into his dorm room and hiding himself in his bedroom, heaving a loud sigh once he hit his bed. his shoes stayed on his feet and his jacket stayed over his shoulders, at this point he didn't really care.

jeongguk somehow managed to sense hoseok's sadness, because he decided to show up uninvited and bang violently on his door, not caring what hoseok was doing. after freshening himself up (aka taking off his shoes and jacket) hoseok finally worked up the energy to face the younger, pulling open the door with an almost emotionless face.

"did you...you did, didn't you?" jeongguk sighed and quickly slid in, pushing closed the door and forcing hoseok's chin up, investigating the many splotches of purple on his neck. "yep. this is definitely taehyung's work."

"how would you know?" hoseok snapped unintentionally, biting down on his lip to prevent any harsher words escaping.

"i've had my experiences. i know exactly what taehyung's work looks like." jeongguk replied calmly, knowing fine well that hoseok didn't mean to snap. he was too kind to be mean.

"yeah...yeah. i slept with tae again." hoseok admitted, his shoulders dropping and body visibly deflating. "i needed some sort of release."

"but sleeping with someone isn't the answer hyung, you know that."

"i know, it was an impulse. it's how i used to let out my frustrations, that's all." hoseok shrugged, scratching awkwardly at the side of his neck. "i feel bad about it now, but it helped at the time. yoongi texted me a lot and taehyung distracted me."

"your life is turning into a drama, i swear to god." jeongguk sighed dramatically, falling backwards for the second time in two days onto hoseok's bed.

"i feel like the second lead in a drama, honestly." hoseok let himself fall next to jeongguk, putting his arm around jeongguk's shoulders and letting the boy curl up into him.

"it's unfair, hyung. you shouldn't let him treat you like this. find another best friend, hang out with new people. i promise, it'll be better for you." jeongguk spoke against hoseok's armpit, arm slung around the boy's waist.

"i know you're probably right, but it's so hard to quit when you're ahead. especially when you're me." hoseok's hand lifted to brush through jeongguk's hair, loving the feel of the brown locks between his fingers. jeongguk's hair always felt amazing.

"one day, one day."