I looked at the arrivals board and clutched my overpriced airport balloon in my hand. I'd debated between 'Welcome Back,' 'I Missed You' and 'I Love You.' I'd decided that if I hadn't told him I loved him to his face yet, I couldn't really give him a balloon with those words, even if that was how I felt. 'Welcome Back' had felt impersonal, so I'd gone with the classic, 'I Missed You.'

I'd spent my two weeks at home glued to the phone, talking to Rob at every opportunity. When I wasn't on the phone with him, I worried about what would happen when I got back to university. Lark had disappeared after Cal left. We'd assumed she'd gone to her parent's friend's place to ride out the aftermath of our night out, but we didn't have any way to verify that.

I had no idea whether Coach Burton had managed to contain the initiation story or if I'd be going back to a swirling chaos there, too.

On top of that, I had this constant nervousness in the back of my brain about my night alone with Rob. The idea of sleeping with him made me equal parts nervous and excited. We hadn't really talked about it, but if we were going to be alone, finally, and I knew I loved him, it seemed like a no-brainer. Even if the no-brainer made butterflies congregate in my stomach, I was sure I wanted to be with him.

I watched the sliding doors that exited from baggage claim. Every time they opened, my heart kicked up a notch until I realized it wasn't him again. At last, I saw his brown head emerging through the doors and I moved forward, trying to catch his eye. My grin was so wide that it actually felt like my face might split in two. When his eyes caught a glimpse of me, they lit up. He dropped all his bags on the spot and ran over to me, scooping me up into his arms.

I laughed as he squeezed me tight.

"I didn't know I could miss someone that much," he said into my ear, kissing my neck.

A shiver of pleasure skated along my spine and I ran my hands through his dark hair, breathing in the scent of his cologne. Any time I'd walked past someone over the holidays who wore the same cologne, a shot of longing had pierced my heart. I didn't know what I was going to do if I didn't get the exchange.

He pulled back and his lips sought mine. His hands came up to cup my face as he pulled me deeper into the kiss. Normally these sorts of displays of affection embarrassed me, but it was like I'd forgotten we were even in an airport terminal. His lips finally released mine, and his brown eyes were bright. He looked at me, drinking me in, and I couldn't help but do the same. It felt as though I hadn't seen him in years rather than mere weeks.

"Thanks for coming to collect me," he said softly.

"Wouldn't have missed it for all the chocolate in the world," I said, rising up on my tip toes and kissing him again quickly. "You just left all your stuff in the middle of the exit."

"Sod it," he said, grinning. "I'd do it again in a heartbeat to get to you faster."

I smiled, feeling like my face might crack in half. God, I loved him and the words were perched on the tip of my tongue, but I couldn't seem to push them out. The air around us seemed to pulse with life and I was just about to say it, when a man behind Rob said, "Excuse me, sir. Are these your bags?"

Rob broke his eye contact with me to glance over his shoulder. "Indeed. Apologies. I'll collect it now." He moved away from me and grabbed his things. I moved to take one of his bags, but he shook his head with a grin. "Can't have my bird doing the heavy lifting. What do you fancy doing now?" Rob asked, adjusting one of the bags higher up on his shoulders.

Going back to the room, lying around with you. I didn't say this, though. Instead, I suggested, "Dinner?"

"Sounds brill," he said, and he overloaded one hand to reach for mine. He laced our fingers together and looked at me as he walked. "I'm so happy to be back."

####

Once we'd been seated at the restaurant, I was able to give Rob my full attention. We chatted about his trip and his near death experience skiing with Tom, and then I asked about Jill.

"He talked to her nearly every day. The two of us were constantly whinging about finding a phone card and a payphone." Rob grinned and reached for my hand across the table. "BC and Alberta were brilliant, but I think we both wished we'd spent some time here, too."

"Why didn't Tom come back early?"

"Jill's family is away on holiday. She comes back a day late, actually."

"Did Tom talk at all about the roommate thing?" I asked, not wanting to put Rob in the middle, but also unable to contain my curiosity.

"Jill reckons Lark won't want to be on our floor anymore," Rob said, taking a drink of his beer.

I wasn't sure how I felt about that. I hadn't agreed with a lot of things Lark had done over the last few months, but she could also be a lot of fun and sometimes really thoughtful.

Rob squeezed my hand. "You alright?"

"Just kind of sad, I think. I wish they'd been able to get along. I liked Lark, and while Jill has never been my favourite person, I could have put up with her, I think."

"I would say you could always change your mind, but after what happened with Cal at the club, I'm not sure that's true," Rob said, leaning back as the waitress brought our food. "Have you been back to res yet?"

I shook my head. "I went straight to the airport to get you. I drove here today."

Rob nodded. "So you don't know what's happening with the swim team either?"

I shook my head again and took a bite of my chicken sandwich. "Everything feels really mixed up and uncertain. I don't know what's going to happen with Lark and Jill. I don't know if I'll even still be friends with Lark. I'm really close to making the equivalent of nationals at the university level, and if the swim team is suspended or terminated, I won't get a chance to go this year. Maybe never," I rambled, so comfortable with him that I was talking without really thinking.

"I know you'd have to sit out a year if you transferred, but why would you never make it?" he asked, raising his eyebrows and glancing at me.

I paused in the middle of taking my next bite and realized my mistake. I'd never make it to nationals at a Canadian university if I was in England for school. I hesitated. I hadn't planned on telling him that I'd applied, but not telling him now felt like I'd be deliberately misleading him. I hadn't liked it when he'd done that to me about Rachel, and I would be a hypocrite if I did it to him now.

I finished chewing and then wiped my mouth, suddenly feeling a little uncertain. I hadn't even asked him if he'd want me in his country before I applied. My only saving grace here was that I wouldn't actually be at his university.

"Ah, just before Christmas break I went to the International Student Office and applied for exchanges to England," I said slowly.

Rob's head jerked up from his plate. "Are you serious?" he asked. "Are you taking the mick?"

"No, I really did. I wasn't sure how you'd feel, and I won't be at your university even if I get it, but they don't usually let second-year students go on exchange, so I probably won't get it," I rambled at a speed I didn't normally talk. I didn't know how to assess his reaction.

"I hope you didn't apply too far away – within an hour by train, I hope," Rob said, sitting back in his chair.

I laughed softly. "That's actually exactly what I asked for when I went."

He pushed back his chair and came around to my side of the table and pulled me up into his arms. "This is brilliant. I'm gobsmacked that you did that without telling me," he released me a little to give me a quick kiss before sitting back down. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I wasn't sure I'd get it; I'm still not sure I'll get it," I clarified.

The restaurant was crowded and noisy, and I was regretting having this conversation in a place that was so crowded. It felt like something that should be happening tonight when it was just us after I'd told him that I loved him. There was no way I was going to say it here now when there was a chance he might not hear me.

We finished eating and Rob paid. On the way back to the car and all the way back to our residence, Rob kept glancing at me with an expression I couldn't quite decipher. I was pretty sure it wasn't because he was upset that I'd applied for the exchange without telling him. We put Rob's stuff in his room and then took my things to my room. I glanced at the answering machine and saw that Tricia and I had ten messages. I didn't figure that was a good sign, but I decided to put that out of my mind for now.

Once all of my stuff was reasonably tidy – Tricia always got upset when I didn't even try to be neat – Rob pulled me to him, kissing me deeply. He backed me up to the desk and then lifted me so I was sitting on the top of it. My mind briefly drifted to how many other couples and one night stands had made out just like this. I pushed the thought away and concentrated on pouring myself into Rob, into this moment. If I didn't get the exchange, these next few months might be all we had.

When we came up for air, Rob said, "I know we have the place to ourselves, but it doesn't have to be anything more than this." He scooped my lips up again, and I scooched my bum forward so he was standing firmly between my legs.

He lifted me off the desk and carried me to the bed, stumbling and almost toppling us onto the floor. I couldn't help laughing at the awkwardness.

"Oi," Rob said, laughing. "I'm trying here."

I giggled. "I know, I know. You need to work on your gracefulness."

We tumbled onto the bed, and I looked up into his eyes. As soon as our gazes connected, the air became thick with things unsaid.

"I'm so chuffed that you applied for an exchange," he said softly, pushing my hair back from my face. "I wasn't sure how you felt. I'm always going on about how gutted I'm going to be."

He didn't finish the thought, but I realized that I hadn't been as vocal about how sad I was going to be when he left. A pang of remorse hit my heart, and I tried to inject my voice with all the sincerity I felt when I finally said the words that I'd been longing to say.

"I love you, Rob. I can't imagine loving anyone the way I love you. I want to be with you – tonight, tomorrow and for as long as you'll have me."

His eyes reminded me of coffee. He wore a half smile as he searched my face. "I love you, too, Liz. I've never felt this way about anyone before. I can't believe how lucky I was to come here and to meet you."

He leaned down and kissed me, and as things started to get progressively more heated, he pulled back and looked at me one more time. "Are you sure?" he asked.

I'd never felt more certain of anything. "Completely," I said, tugging his lips back to mine.

Later that night, as Rob was sleeping soundly, I slipped out of bed and picked up the cordless phone to listen to my messages. I pressed the receiver to my ear and saved a couple of messages that were for Tricia. Then, I felt my blood run hot and cold as I listened to the last few for me: Faith, the Director of Athletics, Coach Burton and another from the Ottawa Citizen. So, I guessed whatever this was, it wasn't going away.