My body felt spent as I heaved myself out of the pool and gathered up my pull buoys, paddles, fins, goggles, and cap and stuffed it all into my mesh swim bag. I couldn't wait to get back to my residence, eat some greasy food and hang out with my boyfriend. I always found a good workout was the best thing for clearing my mind.

I was pretty sure that Rob's strange mood the last few days had to be linked more to the Cal/Lark situation than Rachel. Throw in the pending countdown until he leaves once we returned from Christmas and it was a recipe for weirdness. I'd only have five months with him when we came back from break – five months – how was that ever going to be enough?

"Liz?" Coach Burton called to me over Faith's head. They'd been deep in a discussion about pacing and intervals right after practice. Faith was a distance swimmer, and she loved to talk about pacing. I found it boring, much like distance swimming in general.

"Yeah, Coach?" I asked, stuffing the last of my equipment into my bag.

"Are you able to come to my office after you've changed? I was hoping we could have that quick chat about your season so far?"

I stifled a sigh. That was probably the last thing I wanted to do today, but it needed to be done. "Sure, no problem," I said, looking up to meet his gaze. When I turned towards the change rooms, Ashley's eyes connected with mine before sliding away. I was thankful she didn't try to give me yet another reminder of what was at stake.

I showered and dressed in record speed. Rob had told me the other day that he thought whenever he missed me, he'd just have to step foot on a pool deck and catch the strong whiff of chlorine to have all his memories of me come rushing back.

Accurate, weird, but also strangely romantic. The idea of him, who looked more like he was drowning than swimming, spending time on a pool deck to remember me was one of the sweetest things I'd ever heard.

I pulled open Coach's door after knocking and took the seat across from him without being told where to sit. This wasn't my first time in his office, but it was the first time I'd felt nervous about being here.

He finished writing something on some of the practice sheets from today and then looked up. "So, Liz, in general, how is your year going?"

"Good, I think. It's sometimes hard to balance school, my social life, and practices. That's nothing new; it's just a little harder to get up for morning practice without my mom badgering me to get out of bed."

He laughed, showing his straight white teeth. He was a big guy – tall, broad, athletic looking. He had dark hair and eyes – the sort of looks that probably made girls swoon years ago. Heck, maybe girls his age still swooned.

All of that also made him feel just a touch intimidating. I'd always liked a coach where I felt a healthy dose of fear-respect, which meant he was quickly becoming one of my favourites. He was tough, not always fair, but I knew he wanted me to be better almost as much as I wanted to be better.

"As you know, I've spoken to Ashley, Mark, and Katie about the situation that occurred a couple months ago. It's my understanding that Katie thought the Ottawa Citizen was looking into the story. I don't think that's currently true, but it doesn't mean it won't happen. They would have been calling swimmers; they would have contacted me; they would have contacted the university. None of that has happened yet."

I stayed silent, waiting to hear what he wanted to know from me if the situation wasn't as dire as Ashley believed.

"I want to know how much trouble we're going to be in if this blows up. I also need to decide whether I should be getting ahead of the story by speaking to the Director of Athletics. What happened, regardless of whether or not it was 'fun', should not have happened. Both Ashley and Mark have been reprimanded by me and will not be attending the next two swim meets as Team Captain. I'm very disappointed in both of them."

So, now I knew why Ashley was worried about further consequences. While I wasn't sure Ashley should be punished, I was pretty sure Coach Burton was going to get an earful about Mark if the men's team was honest.

"What would you like to know about that night, sir?" I asked, watching him across the expanse of the desk.

"What happened? Did you feel capable of opting out? Did you feel or did you see anyone being forced to participate in any way? Do you have any concerns about what was done or any of the people involved?"

"Can I ask who you've spoken to so far?"

"Almost all the rookies – you and Faith were the last two. Both of you seemed closest to the Captains and I wanted other perspectives first."

I felt vaguely affronted. "You were worried we'd lie?" I asked, frowning.

"Not lie, no. I was concerned that the two of you might try to downplay the involvement of Ashley and Mark in the activities that night." He twirled a pen between his fingers, and I had the distinct sense that he was gauging my reaction.

Rather than explaining that I wasn't really that close to either Ashley or Mark, I told the Coach about initiation, about Cathy, about talking to Tim and whatever the men's team might have done, about Katie telling me about the newspaper. I told him everything; I left no stone unturned.

"Did Ashley come to you and ask you to speak to Cathy about initiation?" Coach asked when I'd finished. He'd had his head down while I spoke, making notes.

Every stone but that one. I hesitated; I really didn't want to get her in more trouble. "She did, but I told her that I wouldn't and she let it drop. She hasn't mentioned it to me since." Not verbally, anyway. I could tell she was still hoping I'd change my mind by all the meaningful glances.

"Wouldn't have mattered anyway; Cathy was the first female rookie I talked to when I heard about all this." He leaned back in his chair.

"How'd you know? Did Ashley tell you she thought Cathy didn't have a good time?" I asked, curiosity getting the better of me.

"No, she suggested that I speak to you and Faith." He grinned. "I've been doing this coaching gig for a long time."

"Who did Mark suggest you talked to?" I asked, wondering how much information Coach Burton was going to be willing to share.

His grin faded. "He didn't." He let that sit between us for a few moments before continuing, "If the team survives this year, I won't be doing any voting for captains again; I'll be picking them."

I'd never asked how team captains were awarded, but their positions made a bit more sense. They were both well-liked by current teammates, so of course, they could have been voted in to place.

"Do you need anything else?" I asked, watching the clock behind the coach's head ticking away my minutes to spend with Rob and the minutes until my exam.

"Just one last thing – if you are contacted by a newspaper or television station about initiation, I would prefer that you didn't speak to them until I have a chance to talk to Athletics and get some things in order. I'm still mulling over the best way to move forward for the team and for the team captains and I would appreciate a warning if you're called by anyone. If it's going to start to become public; that'll be how it happens."

"You don't think the newspaper has a source?" I asked.

He laughed. "No, they don't have a source. They had a tidbit of information and pressed Katie to see if she'd budge. She didn't with them, but she stirred up a bit of a shit storm on campus. Not on purpose – maybe she didn't know how many teams this might impact. I don't know how long this thing will be contained for the swim team or other teams that are likely equally or perhaps even more guilty. Liz, if they'd had a real source, we'd be buried by now."

"Oh," I said, trying to process all of that. If this thing did blow up, it sort of sounded like it would be Katie's fault.

There'd been so much talk about initiation these last few weeks, it would be hard to say who blew the whistle. The other day I heard a couple rugby guys in my Political Science class murmuring about a crackdown on illegal initiations across campus.

"Athletics doesn't know yet," I said.

"No, but I also think that's just a matter of time. From what I've heard, the coaches are all trying to get their houses in order to see if this can be contained if it does go big. It'll be a massive embarrassment to the school and who knows what they'll do to counter that?"

I looked at him for a while, processing all this information. He was telling me more than I expected. "You're telling me that none of the coaches knew this was going on? You didn't know?"

Coach Burton stared at me for a long time and then picked up his pen and looked down at his desk. "We didn't know." He glanced up at me and said, "If anyone contacts you, let me know. Good luck on your exam tomorrow."

####

As I wandered up the stairs back to Second Lanark, my mind was a jumbled mess of swim team issues and some returning doubts about the Rob-Rachel situation. Unlike the swim team situation, which was poised to blow up, the Rob-Rachel thing seemed like mostly nothing, but the way Rob had handled all of it really bothered me. It also annoyed me that he hadn't committed to not speaking to her or spending time with her anymore. I pulled open the second-floor door, just as Mishti wandered past.

"Oh, Liz, I was just coming to find you. Do you have a minute?"

I sighed. "I actually have an exam tomorrow. Is it really going to be just a minute?" I asked.

"Yes, not long at all." Mishti nodded and gave me a fleeting smile.

I wasn't sure I could take more bad news today. I slung my swim bag higher up on my shoulder and followed her into her room. I sat at the table, without having to be asked and saw another manila folder closed in the centre.

I put my bag on the floor and looked at Mishti expectantly. "What's up?" I asked when she didn't immediately start her spiel. I resisted looking at my watch, but it was hard. This was already more than a minute.

"As you know, we had our mediated discussion with Lark and Jill last week. I don't know if you heard about the outcome of that discussion or not, but I can't really divulge those details."

Oh, my God. She called me in here to tell me she couldn't tell me anything? Shoot me now.

"However, we spoke to each of them separately, and they both offered the same solution to their roommate problem. I don't know if either of them has spoken to you?" She phrased the last part as a question.

I shook my head, and this time, I did look at my watch.

"They both feel the best solution would be if you and Jill roomed together and Lark became Tricia's roommate. They both answered separately on a questionnaire about how they wanted the situation resolved. I've spoken to Tricia already and administration is hoping that both of you will consent to the switch." Mishti pulled the manila folder towards her but didn't open it.

I sat back in my chair. Weeks ago I'd wondered if that was the best solution too, but after the way Jill spoke to me the other night, I had no desire to be her roommate. She'd cooked her goose with me.

"I'll talk to Tricia, but I doubt that's going to work," I said evenly, not even bothering to hide my hint of anger. There was no way that Tricia outright agreed to this, and I was pretty sure she wouldn't.

Mishti seemed nonplussed by my tone. "I see. Well, please speak to Tricia. It would be good if we could all get on the same page here." She tapped the folder for emphasis. "We can't make you switch; it has to be agreed by all parties."

"And if we don't agree?"

"Then either Lark or Jill will have to move – possibly just to another room on the floor or perhaps to another floor or residence entirely. I'm hoping we don't have to investigate those two avenues."

What was with people trying to pressure me into doing things I didn't want to do? I was starting to wonder if I should wear a sign that said, 'Stubborn – will not bow to your demands.' At the rate my life was going, it would be on my gravestone at the end of my first year at university. All of this was wearing me out.

I sighed and stood up as though my body weighed nine hundred pounds. My shoulders were broad, but I wasn't sure how much more weight they could hold.

"I'll talk to Tricia. When do you need a firm answer?" I asked with my hand on her door, ready to escape.

"Before you leave for the holidays. I'd like to have everyone settled in their new spots when we return in January," Mishti said, standing up and following me to the door. Her escorting me felt unnecessary since the room was so tiny.

"Great. That's great," I said, pulling open her door and heading for my room. I really hoped Tricia wasn't home yet; I needed a good cry by myself before I rallied to face all this crap again.