Kiera is fidgeting beside me as I walk her out, a few hours later; she has been fidgeting since I told her that I need to talk to her a moment ago. I walk quietly beside her as I close the door to my house behind me wondering how to start the conversation, now that Mum and Grandpa are not here.
So many things that I want to say to her straight away but I know her too well and I know that just because she is back, it does not mean that she is ready to talk yet.

She probably did not even want to see me yet but with what happened back at the house, no matter how small, I know there is a part of her that is moving on and wants to come back, and I cannot let that go, not now, not ever.
Baby Steps!
"So, erm, are you free today?" I hesitatingly ask her as we are almost in the middle of the street now.
She stops right there looking dazed and nervous at the same time.
"What?" She almost whispers facing me.
"Erm, you know, Grandpa asked me to take you to get you a dress for the gala, your present--" I say softly trying to clarify.
She stays silent looking at the floor contemplating a reply.
"It's alright, if you don't want to go. I will tell him you did."
Say no. Please say no.
"No, I'll go," she finally says and I try to cover my too obvious of a smile.
As much as I would like to think that it's because she wants to spend time with me, I know it's because she does not want to disappoint Grandpa. He was the only person she called except for Sarah in these years. I was glad that she had him to help her as was he. He purposely postponed the project announcement and the gala when she told him that she got into Oxford for her Masters and she is inclining towards accepting it and will probably be back soon; he finally felt that things will go back to normal.

As normal as they can now.
I didn't sleep the night he told me that she might be coming back, not that I sleep much these days anyway. I remember punching the heavy bag as I was today trying to comprehend the news, only it was Seth cleaning my wounds last time.
I unconsciously smile as I slightly graze my bandage remembering her hazel orbs with worry in them for me, how the past did not matter for those few seconds, it was just us, only me and her. Still smiling slightly, I look at her to find her fidgeting with her phone even more now, looking more uncomfortable.

"You can ask Sharon and Seth to come with us if you want," I close my eyes in self-disappointment momentarily as the words fell out of mouth.
Are you mental or just plain dumb?
"Yes, I'll ask them," she says instantly with slight relief on her face now.
FUCK.
"Mhmm"
"Erm, when do you want to leave?" I continue.
"Erm, It's noon right now. Can we leave in two hours?" She says hesitantly.
"Perfect, I need to run an errand for Pops anyway so I'll message you when I am here."
"Erm, okay. I'll see you then." She says without looking at me as she walks without waiting for me to reply.

I close the door behind me as I am trying not to panic. I try to control my breathing as I comprehend everything that happened since morning: the gym, his bleeding hand, the gala.
This is all too much at once.
The image of Liam punching the bag and his scar near his eye runs through my mind.
My feet are too numb to move.
I am suddenly very aware that I have spent the last three years wondering how Liam must hate me, or how he is coping with everything that happened but I have no idea whatsoever about his life in these years. I am suddenly filled with a foreign feeling that repulses me because I know it's completely and utterly my fault.
I betrayed him.
As much determined I am in my mind to go back to normal, I realize I am still panicking about actually going with Liam today.
It's okay. Seth and Sharon will be there. It's not like I will be alone.

It turns out I will be alone with Liam after all because Seth and Sharon are both busy and I am back to my panic mode when I open the main door an hour later to find Mum back.
"How are you back so soon?" I ask her.
"It's a Friday. I only have one lecture today." She says coming in and she dumps her stuff on the sofa in the living room.

"So, tell me, what's wrong?" She asks me as I hand her a glass of water and sit down beside her.
"Wrong? What do you mean wrong?" I shrug my shoulders.

God! I suck at lying.
She just glares at me and I know there is no pointing in hiding anything from her.
"Well, you know, there's the gala on Sunday."
"Ahan..?" she signals me to go on.
"So I, erm, went to talk to Pops, erm, like you said and, erm, long story short now I am going with Liam to London to buy a dress for the gala. It's a welcome home present from Pops and Sharon and Seth are too busy to come. So, you know, it's just---"
"You and Liam and now you're freaking out," she completes my sentence.
She sighs as she looks at the worrisome expression on my face. She keeps the glass of water and moves closer to me with her expression softening.
"Look baby, I know you are scared and it's completely normal. This was not supposed to be easy but do you remember what you told me when you called me to tell me about getting into Oxford."
I sigh, calming down as I whisper in realization, "I am ready, Mum. It won't be easy but I want to come back to everything and everyone."
"Exactly. The situation with you and Liam is very sensitive. It's always been too complicated with the two of you. God knows why that is but I won't go into that now—" She says as she sees me make a face.
She continues, "The two of you have shared a lot of grief together. That kind of grief changes you. It can make the world purposely undesirable because it makes it easier for you to be aloof and detached. But you have also shared love and friendship and somewhere your heart knows that that kind of love is what we live for. It is asking you to let go and live again. You still trust him; you know what kind of a man he is, Sure, things have changed but they are always changing,  Kiera and it's important that you hold on to the important things. You need to stop hating yourself for loving him. You have suffered enough. Both of you."
When I don't speak for minutes, she says, "Take your time. Think about it. It's okay," she says as she gets up to go to her room leaving me to face the truth I have been hiding from myself all these years.

S o m e t i m e    a r o u n d    2  o' c l o c k

I click send and wait for her to come outside impatiently pacing around the car.
She walks out the door 10 minutes later wearing a simple white dress with one of those sling bags; her hair still falling on her shoulders beautifully.
She looks at me hesitatingly from the door for a moment, before shouting something to Sarah, I assume.

"Hi," she says softly as she reaches the car.
Something's different; she is not avoiding eye contact with me anymore.
"Hey," I say trying not to be too distracted by her signature vanilla and raspberry scent that drives me bonkers.
She looks at me expectantly before momentarily shifting her gaze to the passenger door making me realize that I am blocking it.
"Erm, yeah, sorry" I mutter as I turn around to open the door for her.
"So, do we pick up Seth and Sharon or are they meeting us somewhere?" I say as she sits in the car.
"Erm, Sharon is busy with her residency and Seth's running an errand for his dad," she says.
"Oh, okay then." I say trying to not smile as I close the door for her.
Seth messaged me an hour ago about how I owe him for making an excuse to this thing.
I do owe him. Both of them.
"Where do you want to go? There's this great on Oxford Street." I say as I sit in the car.
"Erm, Mum once took me because she wanted something" I mumble when I see her looking at me like she just saw an alien.
"Works for me"
"Cool!" I say starting the car to head to London.

And then I drive.
I drive.
I drive.
I drive.
I drive and I drive.
In absolute silence.
How is it that we have nothing to say to each other now?
Or maybe there is too much.

Narrator

Now what? They both thought.
Both of their determination to be back to normal melted away the moment Liam started driving, both of them aware that they are completely alone for the first time in three years with nowhere to go and nowhere to hide, their confidence suddenly replaced by jitters and butterflies like an awkward date in high school.
Even high schoolers are not this shy or awkward anymore.
So they ride silently stealing glances at each other trying to gather the courage to talk first.

After an hour and twenty minutes of silence, we reach London.
I hate that all we have now is silence and after talking to Mum I am determined to change it, I am just unsure how.
Liam parks the car near the boutique and we head into the boutique.
I am going to kill Sharon and Seth for making me do this alone.

I am distracted from all my worries momentarily as I enter the boutique. To say it was 'a great boutique' was the understatement of the year.

Such beautiful dresses!
I am not much of those girls who love shopping. In fact, I dread it. The only time I shop for clothes is when Mum and Sharon force me but I do appreciate good fashion.
Liam clears his throat to bring me out of my state of awe as we are greeted by the saleswoman.
I spend some time browsing through the gowns, shortlisting the ones I want to try later while Liam just sat on the couch, his gaze following me all this time.

"I am just gonna go try some of them." I say walking up to him a while later.
"Do you need a hand?" He says with his eyes widening a second later as he comprehends what the question insinuated.
"I mean with the dresses--"
"I mean to carry the dresses to the fitting room," he says taking a sigh of relief.
"No, it's fine; Amanda will help me, I say, gesturing to the saleswoman. Do you mind holding my purse?"
"Yeah, sure," He says taking my purse as he settles back on the couch right outside the fitting room.

I tried on all the dresses that I shortlisted, almost a gazillion of them, but none of them felt right.

I don't think I can do this without Sharon.
"This was the last one right?" I ask Amanda almost heading back into the cubicle to change.
"Erm, actually there's one more that your friend sent in.", she says carrying a sleek black, sleeveless and flowing gown with a cascading ruffles and a halter neckline.

It looks so beautiful.
HOW DID I MISS IT?
"Would you like to try this on?" She says looking at me.
"Yeah, sure," I say taking the dress from her and heading into the changing room."
This is it.
I look at myself in the mirror almost tempted to go outside and show him how I look.
"It's looks beautiful on you." Amanda says as I come out.
I run my hands through the fabric trying to find reasons not to buy it but I give in.
"I'll take it." I say.

"You got a dress?", he asks expectantly wanting to know if I tried his dress or not as I come out of the fitting room.
"Yeah," I say trying to keep a poker face not being able to resist the opportunity to annoy him like the old times.
Maybe there is hope for us after all.
"Did you try all of them?"
"I guess," I say.
"Oh okay!" He says with a slight dejected expression.

"Would like the gown to be delivered?" Amanda asks walking out of the fitting room section.
"Can we get it now? We need it for an event on Sunday," I ask her.
"Can you pick it up in an hour then?"
"Erm?" I look hesitantly at Liam imagining another hour of silence.
"Actually, I need to pick something up at the office here. We can go pick it up and then head back here if that's alright with you? It'll take us around an hour only." Liam says to me.
"Sounds good"
"We'll be back in an hour then" he says to her.
"By the way, it was one our finest gowns. You have an excellent eye for this stuff." She says now looking at Liam.
Shit.
I look at Liam, who was trying to control his signature smirk while looking at Amanda.
"Oh! I just got lucky, I suppose", he replies with that smug smile not leaving his face. 

We head back to the car when my stomach growls.
"Do you want to go eat something first?" I ask her.
"I am not really hungry. Why don't we just head to the office?"
"Oh, okay."
She stops abruptly and turns to face me.
"Liam, when did you last eat?"
"Erm, before we left from home." I attempt to lie but she gives me her I-know-you-are-lying look.
"You said that you will eat later when you thought I was Sam earlier today and then you went to run an errand for Pops. So, when did you exactly eat today?"
"Erm, I, actually---" I stutter.
"Oh God! You should have said something."
"It's fine actually. I am really not that hungry."
"Says the guy who was always stuffing his face with cheeseburgers," she says and I am pulled back into nostalgia, remembering all the times she used to steal my food making me smile.
She does care.

May be there is hope for us after all!

The look on my face must have made her realize what she just said and she is suddenly nervous again, "Erm, I mean that you must be hungry. Let's go eat somewhere," she says now avoiding eye contact.

"No, it's fine. I'll ask someone to get something packed from a Five Guys near the office."
"Okay."

We reach the office building waiting for someone to get Liam's food and his things when he said," Erm, so you are joining Trinity in the spring session."
"Yeah, I start in a week." I say avoiding eye contact still embarrassed about earlier.
May be that is the kind of normal we need right now.
"Well, I'll see be seeing you there then."
"You got in Trinity?" I say turning my face to look at him with more shock than intended.
"Well, I know that I am not as intelligent as you are. They must be bonkers to accept me, right?"
"That's not what I meant. I thought you wanted to go to Queen's. Seth and you had that whole thing."
"I did; for my undergrad. I wanted to continue my masters at Trinity though."

Before I could continue with a reply there was a knock on Liam's window. He rolls down the window to a beautiful blonde girl who was almost our age.
"Hey Char, you didn't have come down for this." Liam said.
"Well, I am your secretary, so it's kind of my job. Also, Mrs Addington asked me to go over a few last minute things for the gala on Sunday with you?" she said blushing making me roll my eyes.

Liam and his stupid charm.
"You are my mom's secretary not mine. Tell me, what you want to talk about the gala?" He replies with too big a smile.
"Oh, we can talk later if you have company right now." She said eyeing me.
Liam turns to me with an apologetic face.
"I am sorry. Do you mind--" he says turning his head to me.
"Oh no! It's fine!"
Liam gets out of the car, leaning his hand on the roof as he is talking to her.
They talk for a few more minutes discussing the gala.
"Well, that'll be all. Oh! I almost forgot" she says handing Liam a docket and a Five Guys packet.
"It's your regular order."
"Oh! You are sweetheart. What would I do without you." he says taking all the things from her before sitting in the car making me roll my eyes again.
Why am I so irritated suddenly?
"I am sorry if that took long," he says as he putting the docket on the back seat.
"It's fine"
"Is everything alright?" he says immediately, now looking at me.
"Yeah, why?" I shrug.
"No, you just look, erm, never mind. Do you mind driving? I don't wanna eat and drive."
"Yeah, sure."
We swap seats and after a few moments of silence of driving back to the boutique, Liam says, "She's mum assistant. She just helps me whenever I am working in the office."
"I heard." I say driving with my eyes on the road ahead, not looking at him.
"She's not a friend or anything. Just someone who works in the office."
"It's fine. I didn't ask"
"Yeah, you weren't asking....very loudly", he said stuffing his face with his burger trying to hide his stupid smirk.

"Yeah, you weren't asking..very loudly", I say making her glare at me with her jaws clenched. I missed annoying her like this. The day was not completely normal but it was as normal a first interaction after three years could have been.
We drive to the boutique to pick up the dress and I drive back to Headington for the rest of the ride, both of us silent again.

"Umm, thank you for today and thank Pops for the dress," she says as we both get out of the car.
"I will. Let me help you with the dress."
"No no, it's fine."
"No, it alright," he says and before I could protest further he is already moving towards my house with the dress cover bag in his hand.

"Hey Liam! Oh, you found a dress?" Mum saying opening the door as she sees the two of us.
"Hey Sarah!" Liam says to Mum and then looks over to me, "Should I just keep it in your room?"
"Yes", "No", Mum and I say at the same time.
He swings his gaze at both of us before Mum tells him to go ahead.
"Mum!! My boxes are lying all around. I haven't unpacked yet." I whisper to her making sure Liam is out of our earshot.
"That kid used to spend hours in that room when you were a teenager. I don't think he scares easy."

I just roll my eyes at her turning around to go to my room trying to control the butterflies at the thought of Liam being in my room after all these years again.

**********

Author's Note:

Hello Lovely People,
Lots of Liam and Kiera in this update. Also, it's a super long update to compensate for the all the days I missed. I hope you like.
Also, I tried a small part from the narrator's point of view. Let me know how you feel.
Lots of exciting stuff coming now.

Five Guys is a famous food joint in London. Also, Oxford Street is one of the busiest shopping streets in London.
Headington is a residential town in Oxford (the city not the street)

Please do share your views in the comments, positive or negative. I would love hear what you all think.
Do vote if you like it. 

Happy Reading ❤❤
Stay  Safe