"Get up you lazy bums, we have to leave in less than half an hour." I blearily blinked my eyes open and looked up at Haechan, tightening my hold around Chenle's waist.

"Go away Haechan and let us sleep," Chenle grumbled into my chest.

"That's Haechan Hyung," Haechan grumbled.

"Sorry Channie Hyung, you know how Lele is in the mornings. We'll be out in a few minutes," I said with a soft chuckle as Chenle mumbled something Chinese under his breath, no doubt insulting Haechan for interrupting his sleep. Haechan just huffed before leaving the room.

"Come on Lele, we need to get up," I said softly, giving his shoulders a gentle shake.

"Don't wanna," he muttered, cuddling closer to me.

"Alright, so do you want me to message Taeyongie Hyung and tell him we can't make it today," I asked him. That made him immediately sit up and look down at me with wide and excited eyes. Unfortunately for me, he elbowed me in the stomach in his scramble to get up, making me groan and frown. The frown didn't last long because his smile lit up his whole face and it made me want to smile as well.

"Whoops, sorry Sung," he giggled. I just rolled my eyes and slowly sat up, steadying Chenle in my lap so he wouldn't fall.

"All good. Let's get changed and have some breakfast," I said. He nodded and slipped off the bed, going to his draws to get his clothes. I also got up and quickly got dressed before we went out to have breakfast. Everyone rushed through breakfast, wanting to get going as soon as possible because we all wanted to see our Hyungs. Once we finished breakfast, we all got into the van, Jaemin quickly sitting next to me. We buckled in before he gave me his puppy dog eyes as he slowly rested his head on my shoulder. I understood what he wanted, it's kind of obvious, Jaemin likes to cuddle up sometimes and he knows I'm not always for it. I sighed and loosely wrapped my arm around his shoulder, letting him relax into my side. He wrapped his arms around my waist and just stayed resting like that gently. The drive usually takes about 5 to 10 minutes depending on traffic so I found myself thinking about what I can do to help Chenle so he doesn't feel left out like he did last time. I already know that this is one of the problems that I should try to stop before it can upset him. It shouldn't be too hard, all I need to do is pull a Hyung or two aside and just tell them Chenle needs a hug or something like that. Just which Hyung?

"We're here guys," Mark said and everyone immediately cheered, including me. I technically saw them a week ago but I still miss seeing them. We all rushed out of the van and over to the front door that was open straight away by Taeyong. We ran inside, yelling and cheering, our Hyungs quickly moving over to us. I was straight away engulfed in a hug by Taeil and Doyoung. I giggled and hugged them back before remembering I was supposed to be looking after Chenle. I looked over just in time to see Chenle grin and bounce over to Johnny, trying to give him a hug. Johnny quickly brushed him away jokingly before going over to Renjun and hugging him tightly. I saw the hurt look on Chenle's face as he deflated and went quiet, seeming less confident. Taeil and Doyoung moved away and were replaced with Jaehyun and Yuta but I was too busy watching Chenle to pay much attention. Chenle went over to Jungwoo but he fake cringed and ran away from Chenle. I don't really understand why they're doing that, I know they usually like to joke around with Chenle sometimes but can't they tell how it's upsetting him. Chenle looks absolutely crushed and he just stood awkwardly as everyone hugged but him. I need to deal with this right away.

"Hyungs, can we talk for a second," I asked Yuta and Jaehyun quietly. They're both quite close to Chenle and wouldn't hesitate to look after him he needed it. They nodded and quickly slipped into the kitchen.

"Is everything alright," Yuta asked right away.

"Are you ok," Jaehyun added.

"Yeah, I'm fine. This isn't about me," I said quickly.

"Then who is it about," Yuta asked with a small frown.

"Can you guys dote on Chenle today please," I asked.

"Not that it's a problem but why," Jaehyun asked slowly.

"Don't tell anyone but Chenle's been feeling really down lately. He hides it but I can always tell. I think he's feeling a bit left out and touch starved," I lied. Well is it technically a lie if he would be feeling that way, just at the end of the day?

"Of course. At least one of us will be with him at all times so he can relax and just cuddle if he wants," Yuta promised.

"Thanks Hyungs," I said giving them a small smile.

"No problem, it's Chenle, we'll never miss a chance to dote on him," Jaehyun said softly. Just as I thought. We left the kitchen and went back out to the loungeroom, immediately noticing Chenle who was awkwardly standing off to the side of the room, just watching everyone else giggled and hug as he nervously ran his hand up and down his arm. I heard both Yuta and Jaehyun suck in a breath before they rushed forwards and went to Chenle. They hugged him tightly from either side and Chenle looked slightly shocked.

"How's our favourite Dongsaeng been going," Jaehyun asked.

"Hey, what? That's no fair," Jaemin exclaimed.

"I thought we don't pay favourites," Jeno said with a frown.

"Yeah, that's no fair," Haechan pouted.

"Eh, he's just speaking facts. Lele isn't annoying like the rest of you," Yuta shrugged. The smile on Chenle's face at their words and hugs was bright and happy, much different to what he was mere minutes ago. He clutched onto Yuta and nuzzled his head into his shoulder as Jaehyun hugged him from behind. Yeah, he definitely needs this.

"So what're we doing first Hyungs," Renjun asked.

"We, are watching a movie," Taeyong said as he turned on the TV. Everyone immediately rushed to get a good seat, Yuta and Jaehyun dragging Chenle with them onto the couch. I noticed as Chenle visibly relaxed and a content smile made it's way onto his face as he cuddled up to his Hyungs. I jumped slightly when a hand was enclosed around my wrist and I was tugged backwards, landing on a lap. I was only paying attention Chenle so I didn't notice what else was happening. I turned my head and was met with Taeyong smiling softly at me. It reminded me of a time after we first debuted when Taeyong did the exact same thing, pulling me onto his lap. I relaxed into his hold and leaned back against his chest, resting my head on his shoulder as he softly placed his chin on my shoulder. I'll admit I'm not usually one for hugs, (except for this week because I've been a bit worried) but Taeyong Hyung is the one person that I always allow to hug me, he's always been there to protect me, almost acting as a parental figure when I was first joined NCT, right up until I turned 18. He still looks after me now but he understands that I'm not a young chid anymore and let's me have some space. We were watching 'Train to Busan', which is an amazing movie but I've watched it a lot so I wasn't pay much attention. I found myself looking over at Chenle every few minutes to make sure he was still doing alright but he was happily cuddling with Yuta and Jaehyun still, except Jungwoo was sitting in front of him, leaning back against his legs softly. Chenle's hands were in his hair, running through it softly. About halfway through the movie, Taeyong tapped my shoulder softly and leant closer to my ear.

"Can you come with me to my room for a sec," he asked softly. I nodded silently and we both got up, leaving the room and going over to his. We went inside and he closed the door, locking it afterwards. I was slightly nervous about why I was here, was I in trouble? Taeyong doesn't just randomly ask people to come to his room, it usually always leads to him discussing something not very good.

"Get comfortable," he told me, waving to his bed. I slowly sat down and shuffled over so I could lean back against the wall as Taeyong sat down across from me. I got even more nervous as he looked over at me. Was I in a lot of trouble?

"Have I done something bad Hyung," I asked, biting my lip nervously and fiddling with my fingers in my lap.

"No, of course not. You haven't done anything wrong. I just wanted to talk to you, see how you're going? A couple of the Dreamies have been worried about you and brought a few things to my attention," he told me gently. Ah, right. This was bound to happen given how odd I've probably been acting.

"I'm completely fine Hyung, it's alright," I said quickly.

"I trust you Jisung but as the leader it's my job to talk to you and double check that everything's ok, that you're doing alright," he said. I understand what he's saying and I'm not going to be able to say no anyway. I said he knows when to give me space but after hearing everything that has been going on, it's no surprise he wants to talk.

"So Sungie, what's been going on lately," he asked me. There's really no point in lying, he's already been told anyway and it would be really good to talk to someone for a bit.

"I've just been a little stressed lately," I admitted.

"I cried once and had a nightmare the other night but that's ok," I added quickly.

"Do you think things might be getting a little too much? Maybe you need a break for a bit? You've been in this industry since you were 14, it's bound to get too much at some point," he said softly.

"No, not at all," I said quickly. I can't look after Chenle if I'm taking a break, I won't be with him to help when needed.

"Aegi, I never want my Maknae to be stressed to the point that he has a breakdown, and that he has nightmares that scare him to the point of almost hyperventilating. I think it would be best if you take a break for a bit and get your mental health under control so it doesn't to the point where we can't do anything to help you," he said with a small sigh. No, no, no, he can't make me do that. I need to be there, I can't take a break, I have to be with him.

"No! Hyung you can't make me go on a break," I said, shaking my head quickly. I found myself having to hold back from crying as I started getting more worried, more scared. To my surprise I didn't care about the not performing part, all I cared about was keeping my Lele safe. I need to be there with him in case something different happens, something that can make him want to kill himself like last time.

"Hyung you can't, you just can't. Not for at least another week, please," I begged as I lunged forwards and grabbed his hands, holding them tightly. His eyes went wide and he slipped one of his hands from mine, gently cupping my cheek.

"Sungie what's going on? This isn't the reaction I was expecting. There's something you aren't telling me," he said slowly. I shook my head quickly, muttering another please desperately.

"Jisung why do I need to wait another week at least, why not now," he asked, confusion written all over his face.

"Because I need to protect Chenle, I need be there to make sure he's ok," I blurt out suddenly. Shit.

"What's wrong with Chenle," he asked quickly. I froze, realizing my mistakes far too late. I shouldn't have said that, I should not have said that.

"Wait here, I'll go get him," Taeyong said, standing up. I panicked and jumped up, running past him and placing myself between him and the dorm, holding my hand out to stop him.

"Y-You can't. You can't say anything to Chenle," I told him quickly.

"Jisung you need to tell me what's going on, you're starting to really worry me," he said cautiously. I don't know what to do, shit. I let too much slip, oh my god, I told him too much. This was not supposed to happen! If I don't tell Taeyong something, he'll tell Chenle and all my effort and coming back will go right down the drain. Chenle will be creeped out and distance himself, then I won't be able to help and I'll have to go through it again, finding him again. I don't know what to do though, I can't think of a lie to cover this up, my mind is completely blank. My chest started to feel tight and I was beginning to have trouble breathing, gasping for air. Taeyong suddenly grabbed my arm and pulled me over to his bed, sitting down and resting me in his lap, like he did on the couch. One arm was around my waist and the other rubbed my arms gently.

"It's alright Jisungie, it's going to be ok. You don't need to worry aegi, you're going to be alright. I won't do anything you don't want me do to, I just need to know that you're ok," he whispered into my ear softly. His words were gentle and comforting and I slowly managed to calm my breathing down but I stayed tensed in his hold. There's no way around this, I can't think of a lie to get me out of this, not all of a sudden. I know that he said he won't do anything he doesn't want me to but I know he'll go straight over to make sure Chenle is ok if I don't give him an explanation. Truthfully, it would be nice to tell someone, even if they don't believe me and just think I'm crazy. Taeyong Hyung is probably the person I would trust the most to try to understand and believe me if possible, or to not make me have to leave the group and tell everyone if he doesn't. He shouldn't take it too badly I think. I hope.

"Hyung, what would you say if I told you that I've already lived through this day," I whispered. Taeyong froze slightly in my hold and was quiet for a few seconds before replying.

"Elaborate," I said slowly.

"I know, I know that you're going to think I'm crazy but I just need you to listen to me and try your hardest to understand what I'm trying to say even if you don't believe me," I begged. I felt him nod slowly so I moved out of his lap and turned to face him.

"You can't tell a single soul, no one. If you do, I'll never trust you again and I'll leave this group," I told him. I'm not lying. If he tells then Chenle will find out and I won't be able to stop him. If he goes, I will not remain in NCT, hell I'll probably leave the country and completely start anew. His eyes went wide and he nodded immediately, clearly understanding it was something serious. I still need to stress it and make sure he realizes that I'm serious.

"Hyung I really need you to promise me. I'm not joking when I say that I will lose every bit of trust I have in you and I think the world of you so it's really saying something," I said.

"Of course Jisung, I promise. I would never break the trust you have in me, no matter what," he said firmly. Here goes nothing.

"I've lived through this whole before, from Monday to Sunday. But um, on Sunday. Don't freak out but on Sunday Chenle killed himself. I walked into his room and he was on my bed, I thought he was sleeping so I left him there. He was holding a book so I grabbed it and read through it, thinking it was an embarrassing diary but it wasn't, it was some sort of suicide note. It told the events of everything that happened this week. It started with a comment on twitter and everyday after that something happened that he noticed and made him feel bad about himself. I never realised the first time around but for some reason, somehow I ended up waking up on Monday again. Lele was fine but if I just stood by and did nothing, he wouldn't be, not at the end of the week. I have the diary so I know the problems and I've managed to think of ways to help him through all the problems that have come up so far. I can't protect him if I'm not there with him," I rushed out. If it wasn't such a serious subject, I probably would've laughed at the different emotions that took over his face throughout that explanation. Maybe saying stuff that's supposed to happen later today might help him believe me possibly.

"Ok," he said slowly with a small nod. I immediately could tell that he didn't believe me, but that he didn't want to hurt me so he didn't say anything.

"Tonight we'll be eating pizza. You're going to ask us but you guys already decided last night that you want pizza. And you're going to surprise us Dreamies but saying we can sleep over," I said quickly.

"Who told you about the sleepover," he asked in shock.

"No one. I already know because like I said, I've lived through today already," I said with a sigh. I'm just going to make him think I'm weird or crazy. I could tell Taeyong was confused but he sighed and went quiet. After a few seconds I started to feel nervous so I shuffled over and curled up in the corner of the bed, burying my head in my knees. I've just made the biggest mistake, Taeyong will either tell the other's or he's going to kick me out of the group for being insane. I looked up in shock, looking into Taeyong's gentle eyes as I felt his hand slip into mine. He gave me a small smile and I felt a small bubble of hope in me.

"I believe you Jisung, it's ok. What you're saying is way too crazy and random to be made up. It's confusing and hard to believe but I do, I really do believe you ok," he whispered. I felt relieved, so relieved at his words, I never actually expecting him to believe me. I could see in his eyes that he truly did believe me and I felt my eyes well up, a sob slipping out. Taeyong quickly pulled me into another hug and I wrapped my arms around him tightly, clutching to the back of his shirt.

"Is this what the breakdown was about? You being too stressed about having to try and stop Chenle from, about having to save him," he asked quietly. I gave him a small nod in reply and he quickly held me tighter.

"And the nightmare," he questioned.

"He kept dying and I couldn't save him," I whispered sadly as I sniffled and buried my head in his neck.

"Oh Jisungie darling, I'm so sorry. It must've been so hard seeing what you saw and going through what you did, I can't even begin to imagine. You're under so much pressure my aegi," he said softly.

"I'm so scared Hyung, so scared. I don't want anything to happen to Chenle Hyung. He's my best friend, I love him," I cried. I finally said it, finally admitted what was wrong, that I was scared. It felt so good to finally let it out, just let go and know my Hyung would hold me and make sure I was ok.

"That's ok Jisungie. You're so strong my darling, you're doing so well to protect your brother," he whispered gently. Just his words and his hold made me suddenly feel some stress eb away. It's a relief to have someone to confide in, to have someone who can comfort me when I need it. Taeyong just held me and rocked us gently side to side, soothing me softly. I just sniffled and relaxed, curling up into his hold.

"Do you want to have a little nap aegi to relax and get some sleep? I'll be right here with you, I promise," he asked. I nodded slowly. That's sound really good, I'm really overwhelmed and exhausted right now. He guided me so I was laying down with him and pulled me closer to him. I wrapped an arm around his waist and rested my head against his shoulder, letting my eyes slip closed. He was rubbing me sides tenderly and it didn't take too long for me to slip into a thankfully dreamless sleep.

I woke up to people talking, arms still wrapped tightly around me. I couldn't be bothered opening my eyes yet so I kept them closed and just listened to what they were saying.

"Is he ok?" So Yuta is here.

"He's fine. He just needed to vent and get rid of some of the stress he had pent up and I let him take a nap because he was exhausted," Taeyong replied.

"Will he be ok to join us later or would it be better for him to stay here and get some rest? I know he's had a little trouble sleeping lately." I opened my eyes quickly and saw that Jaehyun, Yuta and Chenle were in the room. I made eye contact with Chenle and he quickly moved forward, kneeling down in front of me to run his hand through my hair softly.

"Hey Sungie, how're you feeling," he asked me quietly.

"A lot better," I replied, giving him a small smile. That is true. I'm not as stressed now that I've been able to talk to someone about everything that's been happening instead of holding it inside.

"Do you want to go back out to the loungeroom? Everyone is playing games at the moment," Yuta told me.

"Yeah I'll be out there in a sec," I said with a nod. The other three took that as their sign to go and left the room, leaving me and Taeyong.

"You sure you're alright," he asked quietly.

"Yeah, the best I've been in a while," I nodded as I sat up. I quickly slipped out of the bed and stretched slightly.

"Hey Jisung," Taeyong said suddenly. I turned to him and raised an eyebrow for him to continue.

"Is there something that's supposed to upset Chenle today," he asked me.

"Yeah, but I've dealt with it already so don't worry," I told him.

"What was it," he asked.

"Last time round, Lele got neglect and made to feel like a burden. They were just joking but it hurt him, a lot, because no one would give him hugs. I told Jaehyun Hyung and Yuta Hyung that Chenle needed attention so they're staying with him for the day, as you've probably seen," I told him.

"You're doing well Sung," he said with a nod. I gave him a small smile and rolled my shoulders softly, relieved that they felt less tense.

"Can I help you at all," he asked quietly.

"Not really, I need to do this myself. I just need you to be there if I ever need to talk or everything gets too much," I said quietly.

"I'll be there, I promise. Whenever you need me and I promise I won't tell anyone. You can trust me," he said.

"I know I can Hyung, and I have," I nodded. That made him smile and he gave me a small hug before we left the room and went out to the loungeroom where everyone were laughing and yelling as they played Monopoly in pairs. Ah the deadly game of Monopoly, one where friends turn on friends. I noticed that Haechan wasn't playing, just laughing and giggling so I walked over and sat down next to him, leaning into his side. He was still laughing and not really paying attention to me but he didn't miss a beat, wrapping an arm around my shoulder and holding me to against his side gently. I was still a bit sleepy so I just stayed quiet and watched everyone happily. I kept an eye on Chenle still but he seemed fine and happy as he laughed and bickered with the other's. All seemed well, Taeyong knows now and he didn't take it badly, he helped me and Chenle is fine. Hopefully I can keep it that way!

A/N

Here is chapter 5, I hope you liked it!

So the leader knows now, was that a surprise? 

Let me know if you think it will be a good thing or maybe turn out to be bad?