"I wanted some water but uh... yeah" Susan mumbled, looking at Jessica and Sarah, their bodies just a few inches apart. Jessica sighed and threw her head on the front, covering her face with her hair, she closed her eyes and wished that she could just turn back time. Seeing Susan with Jonathan was the hardest thing that has happened and she had no intentions to make Susan go through the same feelings as she does.

"I could give you some..." Sarah replied, with a guilty look on her face

"No, I'm alright," Susan said and stormed out of the kitchen heading into the bathroom where she banged the door and fell on the floor, crying. She hit her fists on the ground, acting like a little kid.

Meanwhile, Sarah looked at Jessica and exhaled, "Well... that's..."

"That's fucked up!" Jessica cut her short and whispered angrily

"I'm sorry..."

"Don't..." she started and reached for Sarah's hand, "I wanted it as well... If someone's gonna take the blame that should be me"

"Fuck!" Sarah shouted and crashed her open palm on the counter with force.

______________________

Susan's tears were falling down her t-shirt and within a few minutes she couldn't even breath, she rose up from the floor and approached the little window, opening it she stuck her head out, trying to relax. She kept playing the image of Jessica and Sarah kissing in her head, on repeat. Maybe she did it just to hurt her, maybe she wanted to make her feel like Jessica did that night. Oh, that night...

Still, Jessica wasn't a revengeful person, maybe she finally did what she wanted to for so long. Maybe Susan was just holding her back. "What a fool I am for coming here!" she thought.

Susan walked in front of the mirror and looked at herself. Her eyes red, her lips dry and her white t-shirt was now covered with mascara. She sighed and took another look, a good hard look and then washed her face.

When she walked out of the bathroom she found Holland standing outside, not knowing exactly what happened but yet she could guess that things with Jessica weren't so good...

"Oh... you scared me," Susan said when she saw her outside, her voice shaking, she smiled... or at least tried to.

"Susan, are you alright?"

"Yeah, yeah... I'm fine. I just don't feel so good, I think I'm getting worse"

"I see... well, you can stay here if you want, I'm sure Sarah won't have any problem... At your condition, I'm not letting you go out"

"Thanks but I really should go..."

"Susan... what's going on?" Holland asked now and stepped closer, "You know, you can talk to me"

"I know of course but everything's fine, really... Nothing that you should worry about..."

"Alright then..." Holland said and started walking with Susan to the door, "But if you ever need someone..." she added and suddenly Jessica walked out of the kitchen along with Sarah. The froze at the view of Holland and Susan talking and looked at each other.

They stood there for a couple of minutes, in awkward silence until Susan finally looked at Jessica. The younger woman could see her red eyes and immediately something broke inside of her. "I've got to go..." Susan whispered and turned to Holland, "Thank you for everything... It was lovely" she said and left the apartment, with Holland looking at her confused.

Sarah lowered her head, sure that Susan spoke and incapable of looking her lover in the eyes, until Holland broke the silence, "How about we have some dessert?"

Jessica looked at her and nodded, still in shock, "Sarah would you mind helping me in the kitchen?" she added and walked inside.

"She knows" Sarah mouthed to her friend.

"Shit!" Jessica whispered and stormed out of the apartment, hoping to find Susan downstairs but she was nowhere to be seen...

____________________

Susan had just arrived at her house, she opened the lights and threw her shoes to the side, she went into the kitchen and picked up one of Jessica's bottles of Vodka, taking a sip from the bottle, she closed her eyes and felt her insides burning.

Susan shook her head and opened the cupboard, taking out a pack of cigarettes, she lit up one on her way back into the living room and fell on the couch. There were no tears no... just the pain. After almost twenty minutes she heard Jessica banging her door, she thought about answering it for a minute until she stood up and opened the door.

"What?!" she shouted, irritated by Jessica's actions.

"I just wanted to make things straight," Jessica said and walked inside, passing in front of her, she stopped and looked at the ashtray and the bottle of Vodka on the table, "I see..." she said, looking at the table, "Who's the lucky guy tonight?" she continued and turned to Susan who closed the door.

"Fuck you!" Susan whispered and stood now in front of Jessica.

"Before you come to any conclusion, I did not kiss her because I wanted for you to see us"

"So you kissed her because you wanted to? Jesus... what are you doing here?"

"Yes, because I wanted to... See at least I'm honest!"

"And I wanted to fuck Jonathan! Satisfied now?" Susan shouted and started crying again

"You think I give a damn about you and him? We're done you can do whatever the hell you want but you had no right to talk to Holland about it! Just because we screwed up what we had doesn't mean we get to ruin other people's lives!"

"So her loving girlfriend can cheat on her and she doesn't have to know about it? I can't recognize you anymore!"

"Ha!!! Look who's talking! You were about to hide everything from me if I wasn't here!"

"You know what, Jess... I'm done with this"

"Oh, as always!"

"What is that mean?"

"When you shit all over me you always give up and I'm supposed to run after you, save what needs to be saved!"

"It always takes two to hold on a relationship!"

"Yeah, well not this time! Not after what you did!"

"Then why are you here?!" Susan shouted, "Why Jess?!"

Jessica started crying as well, just by looking at her lover, she shouted back, "Because I fucking love you, that's why! Because I love you and I hate you so much!"

"Well I love you too!" she hollered back, "And I didn't even consider talking to Holland! Because I care about you! I would never do anything, ANYTHING to hurt you!"

"Fuck you, Susan! FUCK YOU! WHY? Why did you do it?!"

"I DON'T KNOW!" she replied and with that Jessica leaned closer and cupped Susan's face, pulling her into a kiss which was filled with anger and passion. Both let their anger transformed into a deep kiss, fighting for dominance, Jessica bit Susan's lips as they continued crying.

Finally, Susan broke the kiss and rested her forehead on Jessica's, she grabbed her arm and whilst crying, "Please, don't leave me..."

"Fuck!" Jessica shouted and pushed her lover back, "Stop doing this to me! We're done!"

"Then get the hell out of here! I'm not your toy, you know very well how I feel and still, you came! I didn't talk to Holland so call your little friend and tell her!"

With that Jessica looked at her and walked to the door, she opened it, "Goodbye, Susan..."

Susan stared at her lover exiting the apartment for the last time and immediately collapsed on the couch, still with her eyes glued on the door, "Don't go..." she whispered and burst out in tears.

_________________________

Jessica walked into her house and sat on the couch, she sighed, processing everything that happened, until she remembered her friend, Sarah and the things that took place at Holland's. "Shit!" she whispered and reached for her bag, taking her phone out, she called her.

"Yeah?" Sarah answered. Jessica could hear a loud noise in the distance, "Sarah? Where are you?"

"God... I had to leave the house... I think Susan talked to her"

"Are you nearby?"

"I am actually... I was coming to your place"

"Good... Come here, I'll be waiting you"

"Okay" Sarah replied and hanged up. Jessica threw her phone on the table across her and took her pack out of her bag, lighting up a cigarette, she heard Sarah knocking softly on her door and chuckled, "That was fast..." she said once she opened the door

"I was across the street, sitting on a bench..."

"I talked to her"

"Holland?"

"No, Susan..." Jessica replied and returned back to her seat, followed by Sarah who sat next to her, taking one of Jessica's cigarettes, "Fuck... what did she say?"

"She said she didn't talk to Holland"

"You believe her?" she asked and lit up the cigarette, blowing the smoke to the side

"I do... She's not that kind of a person, I knew she wouldn't say anything"

"Oh, God..." Sarah said relieved and fell back on the couch with her eyes close, "After you left I made up an excuse and left right after you... just to prepare myself for what was going to happen"

"Well... you really didn't have to worry about Sue... She's not gonna say anything"

"So what happened?"

"We fought..."

"You broke up for good?"

"I think we did... This time we're done"

"Damn... I'm sorry"

"Yeah, me too..."

"Why did you split?"

"I... Um..." she started but Susan cut her short, "You don't wanna talk about it?"

"Exactly!" Jessica replied and chuckled, "I'm just glad you're here... I don't want to be alone" she said and put out the cigarette. Same did Sarah.

"I know baby..." Sarah whispered and hugged her. Jessica rested her head on Sarah's chest and sighed, "Remember when I broke up with Sam?"

"Like I've ever forgotten it..." she chuckled.

"Hmm... How come and you're always around when I need you?" Jessica asked and looked at her friend

"I sense it..."

Jessica raised her eyebrow and chuckled, she placed her head back on Sarah's chest, "Maybe if we handle it better we would be still together"

"Or maybe not... You can't be sure"

"Yeah..." she replied and then silence... "Your heart is beating like crazy"

"Yeah? Guess why..."

"Why?" Jessica asked and rose up, looking at her, her face was now an inch apart from Sarah's. She didn't know why but something deep inside of her wanted to continue what they were doing back in the kitchen. For a minute she desired her, she needed her.

"Cause I wanna do something that I'm gonna regret"

"What if I said I want it too?"

"You'll be lying..."

"So who's winning in this?"

"Guess no one... we're both losers" Sarah laughed and locked her lips with Jessica's, afraid of rejection but yet Jessica parted her lips, allowing Sarah's tongue to meet hers. And the kiss continued, leaving them both out of breath in no time until Sarah stopped, "I wanna know if you want this or you're doing this because of what happened"

"Please don't speak," Jessica said and leaned closer again, kissing the younger woman, she found herself getting lost in something so familiar. Sarah's hands started traveling along her body as their rest perfectly on Jessica's breasts, massaging them softly, she reached for Jessica's shirt and removed it, leaving her naked on top.

"Let's go inside..." Jessica whispered and with that, both stood up, she reached for Sarah's hand, dragging her inside and eventually pushing her on the bed. Jessica parted her legs and sat on top of her. With a single move Sarah flipped them over and she was now on top, kissing and nibbling Jessica's skin, making her moan softly under her wet kisses.

Sarah unbuttoned Jessica's pants and threw them to the side along with her underwear, leaving her completely naked now, she didn't wast any more time and went straight to her core, while her fingers were teasing her entrance and her mouth was sucking her soft skin, Jessica arched her back and whined, "Sarah... please"

With that Sarah shoved her fingers inside, wanting nothing else than to please her, she kept a steady pace at first and as Jessica's moans were getting louder she increased the speed, thrusting her fingers inside, matching the pace her tongue was working.

"God, yes!!!" Jessica screamed and suddenly Sarah stopped, she looked at Jessica who rose up, "Please, don't stop, don't stop!!!" she begged the younger woman.

"What do you want?" Sarah asked and started moving her fingers slowly

"Please, Sarah... I need it"

"What?"

"Please... harder"

"You want it harder?"

"Yes! Please! God!" she shouted and Sarah picked up the pace, thrusting her fingers more forcefully this time, making Jessica let out a loud moan and fell back on the bed, as she reached her climax. Jessica opened her eyes for a split second and watched the younger woman, she took another look and suddenly it was Susan... having the same look as always, Jessica closed her eyes and imagined her instead of Sarah, her lover touching her and screaming out her name until she finished...

"Ahh! Susan!" she shouted out of breath and with that, Sarah stopped her actions, she just stared at her. While trying to catch her breath, "Fuck!" she shouted and started tearing up, eventually she burst out crying.

Sarah looked at her and went up to meet her, pulling her into her arms, she snuggled her, "Come on... it's okay"

"I'm sorry..." she continued crying

"Shh... I know" Sarah said, trying to comfort her, she started stroking Jessica's hair

"I'm so sorry..."

"You don't have to apologize to me, Jessica... It's just too soon, I know that"

"I love her so much," Jessica said and buried her face on Sarah's neck.

Sarah sighed and kissed her head, "I know you do..." she replied although it was killing her to admit it.

"Please don't go"

"I'm not going anywhere, relax now... I'm here" she stopped, "I'm here..." she whispered again.

_____________________________

"When are you coming back?" Clayton asked his friend, while Susan was now packing her things, sniffing.

"If I could stay there forever I would..." Susan replied and whipped her face from her tears

"Come on, enough crying... You've been crying for the whole morning!"

"Well, that's how I'm gonna be for the next few months. If you can't stand me then leave"

"Hey! I'm just trying to help you!"

"BUT YOU'RE NOT!" Susan shouted and looked at him, finally, she tried to calm and exhaled, "I'm sorry..." she whispered, "I know you mean well but it's hard"

"I bet it is but that's how it is, you've got to accept it and move on..."

"Like it's so easy to do that"

"You've got to try at least"

"Well... I'll do my best"

"That's the spirit!"

"Maybe I'll find myself some Italian man and get married..." Susan said and started throwing her shirts into the suitcase

"Or woman..." he said and Susan gave him a look, "What? I'm just saying..."

"Yeah, don't!"

"Call me when you get there, okay?"

"I want you to do me a favor..."

"Of course..."

"I want you to find out how Jessica is... not today but during the week... I wanna know if she's okay"

"Oh, God... really?"

"You've got to understand, we've been together for years, I can't just cut her out of my life! I wanna know how she is if she's good if she started drinking... she always starts drinking when we are fighting. I want her to be good, I want someone who cares about her to be next to her... I'm sure she's got Sarah but for how long?"

"If knowing that she's doing fine will help you then okay..."

"It will," Susan said and looked at him, she smiled, "Thank you..."

"Don't mention it..."

______________________________

"Good morning..." Sarah said and walked into Jessica's kitchen where Jessica was having some coffee

"Oh, morning" Jessica replied and continued looking out of the window

"How are you feeling today?"

"Not so good but I'll get better... she's leaving for Italy today"

"Oh... is it today? So soon?"

"Well... that's why I came from L.A. earlier in the first place"

"I see..."

Jessica turned and looked at Sarah who sat on the table, yawning, "Did you called Holland?"

"I did... she knows I'm here... but she also knows that you and Susan broke up..."

"That's fine... I'm gonna talk to the kids too"

"So, it's official..."

"This time it is..."

"But you love each other, Jessica..."

"Maybe we got used to it..."

"Now you're just harsh"

"Look... I don't wanna talk about it. I still care about her and I want her to be happy. That's all!"

"Okay..."

"Also, about last night"

"Well, now I don't wanna talk about that. What happened, happened..."

Jessica chuckled, "Okay..."