"I just... I hate this... I fucking hate this and I love her so much, Sarah, I love her..."

"I can tell..."

Jessica chuckled, "How?"

"Well, you've been talking about her for two hours straight, so that means you really care about her"

"Sarah... I don't know what to do anymore"

"It seems to me that what Susan wants is for you to apologize"

"I'm not gonna do that"

"But if you love her so much I think you should..."

"But it's not MY fault, I did nothing wrong, that's what she can't understand"

"Try to relax come on..." Sarah suggested as she reached for Jessica's hand, stroking her. Jessica took a drag from her cigarette and put it out on the ashtray in front of her, "I miss her... I miss how things were... I know it's been only a day but I hate that I can't talk to her, I hate that she's probably won't even be thinking of me."

"Nonsense, you know she's going through the same feelings as you do"

"Oh, no..." Jessica said and reached for her drink, taking a sip, "You should've seen how she talked to me, she doesn't even want to look at me and I don't know why... what did I do wrong?!"

"Well, from what you told me I think that what she wants is from you to be there for her, run after her for a change"

"You make it seem so easy"

----

"You remember that time when we went to Maine?" Jonathan said while laughing, "I still go the photos"

"Yeah, I do..." Susan replied, looking at him.

"We had a great time..." he continued laughing.

"Jonathan, why are you here?"

"What do you mean? I said why I'm here"

"No, why are you really here..."

Jonathan sighed and looked down, "I missed your company..."

"What is that even mean?"

"I just thought that we could, you know, hang out together"

"After you broke up with me? Do you know how much it hurt me?! Seeing you crying like a fucking baby online when it was your decision in the first place!"

"I'm sorry..."

"So, now you're sorry? Jesus... I don't know if I'm the one who's crazy or the people around me are!"

"I thought you moved on"

"Of course I moved on but you humiliated me, you made me feel like trash!"

"I'm sorry alright?"

"No, it's not alright... Get the hell out"

"You're right... I'm sorry for upsetting you"

Susan stared at him, she threw her head backward before burring it on her open palms while exhaling, "No, I'm sorry..." she said and looked at him again, tears were filling up her eyes, "I... I just lost someone I truly love and I'm not so good..."

"What do you mean"

"Yesterday I broke up with my... girlfriend"

Jonathan's eyes widened, "Girlfriend?"

"Yeah... and I really... really miss her like crazy"

"Everything's going to be alright, you know that"

Susan smiled, "Nothing makes sense without her..."

"If you miss her so much why don't you two try work things out?"

"No, we can't... I saw her a few hours before and we only made things worse, I can't recognize her anymore"

------

"What do you mean you can't recognize her, come on," Sarah said, making herself more comfortable in the couch

"She was talking to me like we were never together, she made me doubt if she was in love with me"

"I've seen you two together and Jess, she is in love with you"

"What time is it?" Jessica asked, looking around for a clock

Sarah laughed, "It's..." she said and opened her phone, "It's four"

"What the hell? Four?! Jesus, I better go"

"No, I'm not letting you go in the middle of the night, you're staying here"

Jessica chuckled while resting her head on the couch, with her eyes closed, "Thank you..."

"You want me to bring you a blanket?"

"No, no... I'm alright"

"Remember when we were sharing the same trailer?" Sarah laughed making Jessica chuckle, "I do... every night we would end up talking till dawn"

"I missed this... I missed you..."

"I missed you too" Jessica replied and opened her eyes to look at her friend, Sarah smiled and stood up to bring her friend a blanket.

------

"God, it's four, I should get going"

"I'm sorry for bothering you with my problems"

"Stop it, you know I'm here every time"

"Yeah..." Susan replied and stood up, she waited for Jonathan to pick up his stuff and then walked with him to the door, "Guess I'll see you at the premiere, right?"

"I don't know, Susan, I mean... Everyone will be there, taking photos and stuff and I don't want to, you know, get them all suspicious"

"Suspicious about what? We're just friends"

"Yeah, friends who used to sleep with each other" Jonathan said and laughed, making Susan laugh too.

"Jonathan, I want you to come"

-----

By the time Sarah returned back to the living room she found Jessica lying on the couch, with her eyes opened, she looked at the younger woman, approaching her and chuckled, "You didn't have to... I'm alright"

"You're lucky I didn't make you change your clothes, the blanket is the least I could do," Sarah said and covered her friend, she sat on the couch's edge and stroked her hair softly.

"How are you feeling?"

"Better"

"I don't want to see you like that ever again"

Jessica chuckled, trying really hard to keep her eyes open, "Why?"

"Cause I care about you, believe it or not after all these years what I feel about you is only getting bigger."

"And what do you feel about me?"

"Oh, I adore you..." Sarah chuckled, "Come on, now, you should get some rest..."

Jessica nodded and closed her eyes, hearing her friend walking into her bedroom.

---

"I want you there and I won't take no for an answer," Susan said making Jonathan smile

"Then I'll be there..." he replied and took a step closer to Susan, "Goodbye now," he said and hugged her, Susan wrapped her hands around his waist, and closed her eyes.

"If you need anything else just call me, okay?" Jonathan said, looking right into Susan's eyes.

"I'll keep that in mind..." Susan replied and with that Jonathan kissed her cheek, making Susan's heart race under his soft lips, suddenly all she wanted was to kiss him, everything else disappeared, she turned her head and crashed her lips with his, feeling that familiar warmth on her lips, she moaned while pulling him inside.

----

"Sarah?" Jessica whispered softly while entering her friend's bedroom, waking her up.

"What's wrong?!" Sarah shouted, opening wide her eyes. She looked at the clock, "Jess, it's six for fuck's sake"

"I can't sleep..." Jessica said and shrugged making Sarah chuckle

"Come here..." Sarah said and hit her palm on the bed spot next to her, Jessica walked slowly to her side and lied down, placing her head on Sarah's chest, she heard her heart beating fast. Sarah closed her eyes, trying to calm herself down but invalid, the images of them being together were now flashing right in front of her eyes.

"You wanna talk or..." Sarah whispered

"I don't wanna talk..." Jessica replied.

"Well, then try to get some sleep" Sarah suggested and shook her head, she felt Jessica looking at her and opened her eyes. "What?" she asked laughing.

"What would happen if we ended up being together?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, would we still be together after all these years or not?"

"I think you already know the answer"

"I wanna hear it from you"

Sarah looked at her for a minute, "What are you doing, Jess?"

"We're just talking..."

"No, I know exactly where this will end and we can't"

"You don't want to?"

"Not that you leave me much of a choice here but no, I don't want to, not now"

"Come on..." Jessica whispered in a husky tone, approaching her friend and eventually pulling her into a deep kiss, which very happily Sarah accepted it. Jessica didn't hesitate and shoved her hand under Sarah's panties but Sarah immediately broke the kiss and removed her hand, "Jess, no!"

"Fuck..." Jessica sighed and took a sitting position on the bed, "I don't know what I'm doing"

Sarah closed her eyes, attempting to calm her self again, "It's okay but I don't want our relationship to be like this, you understand that, right?"

"You're kidding me? Of course, I do, I'm... Fuck... I'm so sorry, I'm just gonna leave"

"No, Jess, stay..."

"No, no, no... I'm better now... I'll text you when I get home" Jessica said and walked out of the bedroom.

---

Jessica was headed to her house when she, all of a sudden, decided to walk by Susan's house, for four years she knew Susan's schedule and she was sure that she was already awake. While approaching her building she saw Jonathan exiting, Jessica stopped and stared at him entering his car. She felt like someone just stabbed her, suddenly her knees got weak and the whole world got lost from under her feet. They were done.

----

A WEEK AFTER:

"Are you nervous?"

"You're kidding me? I'm shaking!" Susan replied at her friend while fixing her make up

"You know who I saw yesterday?"

"Who?"

"Jessica..." Clayton said and stared at Susan, observing how her reaction changed

"Oh..."

"She was buying books you know..."

"How is she?"

"She seemed to be holding up fine..."

"Good, that's good..."

"Ms. Sarandon?" A young girl shouted while knocking on her door.

"Come in"

"These are for you," she said and handed her a bouquet of roses

"Oh, thank you..." Susan smiled and watched her exiting the dressing room.

"Nice..." Clayton chuckled referring to the flowers.

"'Shine like you always do. Ps. I'm sorry about what I did -Jonathan'" Susan read the card

"Jonathan?!"

"Jesus..." Susan said and threw the flowers away

"What the hell happened?"

"Nothing happened..."

"Susan? What happened?!"

"I told you! Nothing. Happened. Period"

"And to think we are friends, I don't know why you and Jessica broke up and now you're back with Jonathan and I don't have a clue what's going on"

"I'm not back with him, we just kissed, that's all, I kicked him out and now I'm just... avoiding him. Come on, enough about this"

"And why did you and Jessica broke up?"

"I said, enough with this!"

"Jesus... Okay" Clayton said and sat back, looking at his friend, getting ready.

----

The crowd was applauding while the whole cast was bowing in front of them, Susan's co-stars pushed her on the front while everyone was cheering. Susan laughed when a familiar figure caught her attention. <<She's here>> Susan thought. Jessica was sitting among the crowd, applauding her ex-lover and smiling proudly. After all these days only now Susan finally realized how much she missed her, Susan looked at her and mouthed, "Thank you..."

Jessica shook her head while still clapping until the curtains closed and everyone started leaving. Jessica wore back her jacket and was now headed to the door when some strange man approached her.

"Ms. Lange! Ms, Sarandon wants you in her dressing room"

Jessica thought about it for a moment, "Tell her she knows where I'm gonna be..." she said and left.

When Susan heard that she got dressed as fast as possible, refused to go out with the rest of the cast to celebrate and rushed to Jessica's apartment. She knocked at her door, waiting to see Jessica up close after all these days. When Jessica opened they took a minute, smiling to each other, it was like nothing changed, the feelings were all there, overwhelming them.

"You were incredible..."

"You have no idea how much this means to me, especially coming from you"

"I mean it, honey, you were stunning"

Hearing Jessica calling her honey made Susan tear up, "Jess..."

Jessica was now tearing up as well, she looked at her, knowing exactly how she was feeling. All the anger they had for each other suddenly faded away, "I know..."

"I didn't think you would come... Not after everything, I said"

"I told you I was gonna be there... for you. Now, you wanna come in for a drink?"

"I would love to..." Susan replied and walked inside, she took a seat on the couch while Jessica walked into the kitchen to fix them something to drink. She returned back holding two glasses of whiskey, she handed the glass to Susan and sat next to her.

"Thank you..." Susan said while taking a sip

"For what?"

"For coming, you have no idea how much I needed you there"

"I wouldn't miss it..."

"Tell me, how are you?"

"I'm... you know" Jessica shrugged, "You?"

"Same..." Susan chuckled and continued, "You think it's time for us to talk?"

"About what?"

"About us"

"No, Sue... I can't, not again"

"But..."

Jessica cut her short, "Look, I said terrible things and so did you, but I understand that you moved on and I can't hold you back. I'm happy for you"

"What are you talking about? Who said I moved on?"

"I saw it for my self, I saw Jonathan walking out of your house the day after we broke or the day after that, I can't remember... but the point is that I still want you in my life, even if it means being friends"

"You want the truth?"

"What for? What happened, happened, right?"

"We did kiss but that was all, nothing more  than a kiss, I would never do anything like this to you cause I still love you and God... these days were awful, Jess, I mean it, I can't live without you"

"I tried to kiss Sarah... I thought it would make me feel better, help me forget about you but..." she chuckled, "You're unforgettable"

Susan sighed and looked around, thinking about what Jessica said when she smiled, something that surprised the younger woman who didn't expect this type of reaction. "That means we're even?"

"So after everything I said about you, you still want to be with me? Why?"

"Cause I lived without you for a week and I just wanted to kill myself, cause I can't imagine how my life would be if you're not in it"

"I'm sorry..."

"No, I'm sorry. I was hurt, I was anxious about the premiere and angry... I let my anger rule me and look where it got me"

Jessica smiled, she reached for Susan's cheek, stroking her softly, making Susan close her eyes, "I missed you so much"

Susan looked at her and took hold of Jessica's hand, kissing the back of her palm, "What do you say? How about we forget about this, pretend like it never happened"

"I want that"

Susan sighed in relief, she chuckled, "No more fights"

"Susan... I'm so tired"

"I know what you mean"

"Come on, let's go to bed," Jessica said, she left her glass on the table, followed by Susan. Jessica reached for Susan's hand, guiding her inside where they both lied down on the bed, Susan closed her eyes, having her lover back into her arms. "It feels so weird"

"What?" Jessica whispered

"This... I didn't think I would ever hold you like that again" Susan said and snuggled her lover, making her chuckle

"Don't leave me again"

"I won't, I'm back for good" Susan said and laughed, she kissed Jessica's head, "Jess, I really mean it, I love you so much and I know it will take you some time to believe b--"

"No, I do believe you and I love you more" Jessica cut her short, she looked at her and then placed a kiss on Susan's lips. Eventually, both closed their eyes and fell asleep, peaceful, after all these days.