An hour passed since Jessica left Susan's apartment and Susan was still in the same position, looking at the closed door, incapable to think straight and plan her next move. She knew she messed it up and this time was the last one. The alcohol was still running into her veins, Susan sighed and reached for her phone, all she needed now was someone to guide her, to help her and hear her.

She went through her contacts and stopped on Jonathan's number, she thought about it for a minute but it was just a passing thought, she called Clayton.

A few seconds passed until she heard Clayton's sleepy voice, "Susan? What's wrong?" he asked, worried

"Hey, did I wake you up?" she said and added, "Of course I did... fuck" she sighed and started rubbing her forehead.

"What happened?"

"I... Um... Jessica caught me... almost having sex with Jonathan"

"WHAT?" Clayton shouted from the other line making Susan move her phone a little further from her ear, "WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?"

"Calm down..." Susan whispered and sniffed, tears were covering now her face.

"How... Why? Where is she?"

"I saw Jonathan tonight while I was out, he brought me home. I thought Jessica would return tomorrow morning... I mean, I didn't think much. Jessica was inside the house when we came, she saw everything"

"What exactly do you mean by everything?"

"Everything... I told you, we were about to have sex, I was naked!"

"What did she do after?"

"Nothing..."

"Did she scream?"

"No... she just took her things and left"

"She's a true lady..."

"That's NOT the point!"

"Yeah, sorry..."

"I don't know what to do... This is so fucked up"

"Yes, Susan... it is BUT try to get some sleep and I'll come by your place first thing in the morning, okay?"

"I'll try" Susan replied and hanged up the phone, throwing it on the table across her.

The next morning came and Susan was now lying on the bed, looking out of the window, her eyes turned red from crying the whole night. Out of the blue, she heard someone knocking her door, she checked the clock, 11:15 and sighed. Susan rose slowly from the bed and walked to the door, dragging her slippers.

"God, you look terrible," Clayton said and kissed his friend on the cheeks.

"I feel terrible..." Susan replied and closed the door, following him on the couch where she fell and groaned

"I wanna know everything"

"You already know..."

"I need details Susan!" he shouted and rested his legs on the table across him

"Well... like I said, I went out, I got wasted, I saw Jonathan and we talked, he offered me a ride home and when we got here I remember yelling and then we kissed, we came up here and we were about to... you know but Jessica was already here, she came earlier from L.A. and she caught us, that's all"

"Fuck, Susan..." he whispered while shaking his head

"Please, I don't know what to do..."

"I don't think there's much you can do"

"So this is it? We're done?"

"Well, as much as I want to be your beacon of hope I think you are done this time"

"I want to talk to her, Clayton... I wanna see her"

"And say what, Susan? What?"

"That I was drunk, I need to explain myself to her"

"Then why didn't you do it after it happened?"

Susan looked around, tearing up she chuckled, "Because I still feel that we are together... I'm just trying to extend the time. I don't wanna hear that we're done"

"Call her then..." he said and suddenly Susan's phone started ringing, she looked at the name and froze, "It's Jess..." she whispered, with her eyes wide open

"Answer!"

"I'm scared..."

"Damn you, Susan! Answer the fucking phone!" he commanded and with that Susan accepted the call, "Jess?"

"Good morning..."

"Good morning..." Susan replied and looked at Clayton, confused

"Hannah is coming to your place to give you back your things"

"Hannah? You talked to her?"

"She doesn't know anything. I forgot my books, give them to her as well"

"But don't you think we've got to talk?"

"No, I don't think so"

"But you have to give me a chance to explain"

"I've got to go"

"No, wait!" Susan shouted but Jessica had already hanged up. "Fuck!!!" Susan shouted on her phone and threw it next to Clayton, "What did she say? Where are you going?" Clayton asked his friend who stood up and walked to the door.

"At Jessica's!" Susan replied and opened the door, "Don't leave, I'll be right back"

"What if you don't?"

"Then I'll call you," Susan said and left her apartment, heading to Jessica's house, wearing the same clothes as yesterday she finally reached the destination and there she was now, in front of Jessica's apartment, banging her door.

Not as expected, Hannah was the one who answered the door, greeting her mother's lover with a huge smile on her face, "Susan? I was just leaving to come over at your place" the young woman said and watched Susan walking into the house, looking for Jessica, "Where's your mother?"

"Are you alright?" Hannah asked worried, seeing Susan acting that way

"Yes. Where is your mother? Jessica?!" she shouted and continued looking around

"She's taking a shower, relax"

"I don't know what your mother said about me but it's not true, it's not!"

"What are you doing?" Jessica's voice interrupted her as Susan was building up momentum. Susan turned and looked at her lover, who was standing in front of the bathroom's door, fully dressed, "It's not true, I've got to talk to you!"

"Jesus Christ..." Jessica sighed and rolled her eyes.

"I should get going now..." Hannah whispered and opened the door

"No!" Jessica shouted, stopping her daughter, "You're not going anywhere"

"Hannah, leave us alone for a minute, please"

"She's not going anywhere! What the fuck are you doing, bossing MY daughter!"

"You need to listen to me, Jess!"

"I'm listening..." Jessica said and walked to the table, picking up her cigarettes

"I... I can't talk in front of Hannah"

"Because you don't wanna say how you cheated on me?" Jessica stopped and chuckled, lighting up her cigarette, "It's okay, they would find it out sooner or later"

"I didn't cheat on you! That's what I'm trying to say!"

Jessica looked at her daughter, "Go... we'll talk later" she said to her and with that Hannah exited the apartment. "So, let me get this straight... From what I remember, last night I found your ex, between your fucking legs... fucking you and that isn't cheating?"

"This... this is not..." Susan started but Jessica cut her short, "So if I was having sex with some random guy and you were there, it wouldn't be cheating? Help me out a little, would you?"

"I was drunk, I didn't know what I was doing"

Jessica looked at her and smiled, "Oh, you knew very well what you were doing... You think I'm a fool, that's what you think? That I'll come back running after you?"

"No, I don't expect you to come back but I deserve to be heard, I want you to know what happened!"

"NO!" she screamed, tears were now falling at her cheeks, "I don't want to hear about it, I don't want to hear about you! Ever again!"

"You think if I wanted to be with him I would be here right now? Begging for you to forgive me? Don't do this to me?"

"Do you ever think, just for a second how hard it was for me? I came to surprise you, I was waiting you, for hours! And when you finally came I caught you having sex for God's sake! With him! Jesus... Really? After everything he did to you, you still wanted him even for that split second you wanted to get to bed with him!"

"I KNOW! I'M SORRY!" Susan screamed and started crying, "I don't want us to break up"

"I don't want to break up with you either"

"We've been through so much, please, don't give up on what we have" she whispered and approached her lover slowly, Susan reached for Jessica's hand and with her free hand she wiped off the tears from her cheek.

"No..."

"Come on, Jess... Please"

"Get out of my house," Jessica said and took a step back, avoiding any touch from her lover who was looking at her, "Jess..."

"Take your things and get the fuck out of my house"

"What will it take for me to do in order for you to forgive me?"

"This time... nothing"

"I love you"

"I know..."

"What about the kids? What are we gonna tell them?"

"That we broke up... that's all"

"Why?"

"Jesus... don't do this to me! I've been with someone I didn't want to for many years because of my kids..."

"You don't love me?"

Jessica looked at her and chuckled, "You're kidding me, right? I can't even look at your face right now"

"I see..."

"You'll talk to your kids and I'll talk to mine. Hannah is not going to say anything if that's what's bothering you so now, you're free to go"

"What about Sarah, she invited us today"

"I'm going... but not you"

"And what are you gonna say to them?"

"Whatever the fuck I want! Please, do me a last favor and leave"

"If that's what you want"

"It is!"

Susan took another look at her now ex-lover and left the apartment.

________________

Jessica was now standing outside Sarah's and Holland's front door, waiting for them to let her in. Though it was hard, she tried to push her feelings deep down, with a fake smile. The seconds before Sarah opened the door seemed like an eternity, with Jessica thinking about Susan, how bad she would want her standing by her side, even listen to her complain about Sarah and then the image of her lying on the couch with that man came, and everything just faded away.

"Hey! Alone?" Sarah's voice woke her up, Jessica stared at her for a minute and smiled

"As you can see... Susan couldn't make it, she's a little sick"

"Oh, well, hope she'll get well soon"

"Hello..." Holland shouted and walked to Jessica's side, greeting her with a kiss on her cheek, "How are you?"

"I'm good... everything's good" Jessica replied. How many times would she have to say that work again and again in order to believe it herself? She wasn't good but what could she say?!

"Come on, let's go sit down" Holland suggested and with that, they started walking towards the living room before they heard someone knocking at the door. "Who could that be?" Sarah asked her lover

"I'll go... ask Jessica if she needs anything" she replied and walked to the door while Jessica and Sarah made themselves comfortable into the living room.

"So you need anything?" Sarah asked chuckling.

Jessica laughed and looked at her, "You invited someone else?"

"No as far as I remember... Only you and... Susan?" Sarah said as Susan walked inside with Holland

"Well, look who's suddenly feeling better..." Holland said and took a seat next to Sarah

"What are you doing here?" Jessica asked and looked at Susan who sat next to her, "Like Holland said, I felt better and decided to come" Jessica continued looking at her and sighed.

"What's the matter?"

"Oh, Jess is just worried, bet she didn't want Susan to get out of the house..." Sarah said and chuckled

"Yep, that's it..." Susan replied

"I know you so good..." she continued and looked at Jessica who was trying to smile

"So, excuse us for a minute, we'll go make the table, make yourselves at home"

"Sure, take your time"

Once Holland and Sarah left, Jessica stood up from the couch, "Are you fucking kidding me?" she whispered.

"It seems to me that the only way to earn your forgiveness is to prove you that I'm gonna do anything to have you back. So why not a meal with your fucking ex!" Susan whispered back, both trying not to be heard

"I see where this is going"

"Are you?"

"Now you're throwing the blame on me? All of a sudden you feel uncomfortable being around Sarah?"

"I've always felt uncomfortable and you've done nothing to change that! I'm not saying that I'm a saint, and you've got every right to be mad at me but I can easily get mad at you for always running around her, for being all over her every time we meet... But I never considered of breaking up with you! NEVER"

"There's a difference between enjoying the company and having sex"

"I was drunk! I didn't know what I was doing!"

"What a great excuse!"

"Where did the 'I'll always be yours' go? Huh?"

"I guess it must've slipped away along with your dignity! After all the things you said about Jonathan, after everything that he's done to you... Jesus... It would be less humiliating if I caught you with some stranger!"

"So all this is because of what I did or because of him?"

"It's because of me! Because I believed that I could trust you!"

"I was gonna stop him!"

"No!" Jessica shouted now, "I heard you alright, no one would find it out, it was gonna be a one-night thing, you maybe think I'm stupid but I'm not Susan maybe I was but not anymore... And what will you think it's gonna happen? We'll be together and magically I'll forget what I saw? This was not just a kiss, not just texts..." she whispered and sighed, looking around just to keep herself from crying, "I don't feel well..." she said almost out of breath and sat back on the couch.

"Jess, what's wrong?" Susan shouted, worried and stood in front of her, she reached for her hands but Jessica pulled her away, "Don't touch me!" she ordered and with that, Susan took a step back, "I need to go home" Finally Jessica said and stood up, "The table's ready... what's going on in here?" Sarah's expression suddenly changed when she saw Jessica who shook her head and smiled, recovering from everything that happened, "I got a little dizzy that's all... Let's go"

"You're sure?"

"I am" Jessica replied and passed in front of the young woman, heading into the dining room.

The whole dinner was a torture for both women and under Sarah's suspicious eyes it was only getting worse. After almost an hour Holland finally realized that something was wrong but yet she didn't want to ask, keeping the conversation around politics and of course their work. As for Jessica, she tried to avoid any contact with her ex-lover making Susan feel like a fish out of the water.

"Jessica told us you're going to Italy..." Holland asked Susan who was staring at her glass for a while now, "Susan?" she shouted

"Um... yes, what? Sorry I got a little distracted"

"You want some more wine?" Sarah asked her

"No, I'm alright..."

"So, you're going to Italy?"

"I am... with my family"

"Are you going too?"

"Oh, no..."

"Well... she said family, that's why I asked you"

"Sadly I can't but I'm sure she'll find someone else to replace me..." Jessica replied and suddenly silence filled the room, "I'm joking..." she added again with a chuckle and took a sip from her glass.

"Okay..." Holland said and looked at her lover, "What about we move this into the living room, huh?"

"I'll help you" Jessica offered, anything to stay away from Susan

"Go inside with Susan and I'll clean this up with Jessica, okay?"

"Of course, darling" she replied and stood up, taking her glass, she looked at Susan, "Shall we?" she said and with that Susan smiled and followed her inside, leaving Jessica and Sarah behind. Sarah picked up the plates and walked into the kitchen accompanied by Jessica.

Once Sarah let the plates on the counter she turned to Jessica, "What the hell is going on?"

"I don't know what you're talking about" Jessica replied and stood in front of the window, looking at the view

"You know very well what I'm saying, talk!"

Jessica sighed and lowered her sight, "You asked me earlier what I need... I need a friend" she replied while tearing up, Sarah looked at her for a minute and stepped closer, "You've got to tell me what happened..."

"How do you know that something happened?"

"You think I'm stupid? I know you!"

"We're not together anymore"

"Jesus... why didn't you say anything?"

"Because... I was coming and I thought Susan wouldn't but she came and then I couldn't say anything, I just... I love her so much"

"Why did you split?"

"I... I don't wanna talk about that"

"But you've got to... at least to me, let it all out"

"I can't... I don't want to. Let's focus on the part that we're not together anymore and I don't know how to handle... I mean there are gonna be times where we would have to be in the same room and I hate that I can't talk to her, it's killing me, you know"

"Well... I went through the same with you, remember?" Sarah said and chuckled, "Yet, look at us..."

Jessica smiled, "You still love me?"

"More than you can imagine..." Sarah replied and hugged her, kissing her forehead.

"I feel like such a bad person..."

"You're not..."

"Maybe I am..."

"Hey..." Sarah shouted and capped Jessica's face, "You're not! You're wonderful!" she said and smiled, Jessica stared at her for a minute until she closed her eyes and felt Sarah's mouth approaching slowly hers until their lips crashed. Jessica wrapped her hands around Sarah's neck while Sarah pulled her into a deep, passionate kiss that left them both out of breath.

Sarah broke the kiss and chuckled, "Fuck... it's 2011 all over again"

Jessica laughed, "I missed this..."

"This or me?"

"You..."

"I knew it..."

"Aren't you scared that they'll see us?"

"For you, I'll take the risk..."

"But..." Jessica started but Sarah immediately locked her lips with Jessica's, making her moan into their kiss. When Susan walked inside, Sarah immediately broke the kiss and took a step back, "Fuck...This is not..." she sighed. Jessica looked at her with her eyes opened wide...