Reagan slept all day once she got home from New York. She couldn't sleep the night before their flight. She was way too antsy about her flight, she also had a thousand things on her mind. She had finally gotten back home at about 2pm and she slept until Sam called her seven times.

"Hey sorry, I was exhausted after my flight I've been sleeping since I got home," Reagan said groggily, sitting up in bed after finally answering Sam's call.

"It's alright, I just want to make sure you didn't die. We're still meeting for dinner in an hour right?"

"Yeah, i'll see you then," Reagan smiled before hanging up. She couldn't believe she literally slept all day. Yet again, she was good at sleeping. It was weird to say, but whenever she felt sad, she slept. She slept as long as she could, it helped her avoid her problems.

Reagan felt so out of it, she had a three hour jet lag and she wanted to do nothing. How did people who travel all the time, all over the world, deal with such bad jet lag?

"I missed you," Reagan said once her and Sam finally calmed down from laughing for two straight minutes at something Sam said.

"Everyone misses you," Sam said seriously, making Reagan feel the guilt hit her right in the stomach. She wasn't use to people becoming... use to her. Her friends back home were use to Reagan leaving all the time. Going on spontaneous trips, or staying in bed and missing school, or just not being around. Here in LA, everyone didn't get that. It was weird for them when she just dropped off the face of the earth.

"I know.." Reagan said looking down playing with the straw in her glass. She didn't mean to cut everyone off, it was just her way of dealing with things. It was so easy for Reagan to run away from her problems and seclude herself. It was a way for her to move on and deal with them, but Reagan was now realizing that the friends she made there in LA helped her feel better. She was just good at running away from things.

"Ashton really misses you too," Sam said almost regretting it, but it was true. Sam thought Reagan needed to hear that.

Reagan froze for a second, she didn't know how to take that news, "How is he doing?"

"Honestly, alright. I mean I don't really know. He comes and hangs out, but he leaves pretty early and doesn't say too much. He seems okay, but Ashton isn't the type to expose his feelings to a group of people."

Reagan nodded as Sam looked at the time, "Wanna come to the bar with me? I'm suppose to meet the guys there. I don't know if Ashton will be there, I assume he will be but I get it if you don't wanna come. You had a long day anyways," Sam said after the waiter came by with the checks. Sam really wanted Reagan to come, she wanted things back to normal, and her friends happy.

Reagan thought about it for a long second. She wasn't sure if she was ready to see Ashton, but she did know she needed to see the other guys. She missed them, and it wasn't fair of her to cut them out of her life. Reagan couldn't be alone forever. As much as she thought she didn't need people, she knew deep down inside she did.

Reagan nodded a yes to Sam.

"I brought a stranger," Sam smiled once they walked up to Michael and Luke who were standing outside of the bar.

"No way, you're here?!" Michael exclaimed pulling Reagan in quick for a hug. Reagan hugged back, squeezing Michael, he was always a good bear hugger.

"Hi to you too," Reagan laughed pulling from Michael and hugging Luke.

"It's nice to see you shortie," Luke laughed.

"You too giant," Reagan smiled.

Michael led them inside claiming how happy Calum would be to see Reagan again.

"See ya later man," they heard Calum saying once they walked up. He was talking to Ashton.

"Look who's here!" Michael exclaimed interrupting Calum's sentence making not only Calum turn, but Ashton and the girl he was standing with turn too.

"Woah I thought you died!" Calum said as his mouth dropped, "Come here!"

He pulled Reagan in for a hug, picking her up and making her laugh, "Where have you been?"

"Long story but New York," Reagan said pulling back. She wasn't sure if the boys got taller or she just hadn't seen them in a long time. They all towered over her, it was almost intimidating.

"Did I hear you were leaving?" Michael said shaking his head and turning towards Ashton.

Reagan caught Ashton's eye for a quick second, and she didn't know how to react but give him a small smile. She could at least be civil with him.

"Uh yeah, I gotta get home," Ashton said with a small smile and scratching the back of his neck.

"Oh Reagan this is Caitlyn," Sam said her eyes getting slightly big.

"It's nice to meet you," Caitlyn said and Reagan agreed with a smile. She couldn't feel but confused. Did Ash already move on?

"We gotta go, see you later guys," Ashton said bidding everyone goodbye and Caitlyn followed.

"Don't take them the way it seems," Sam said quietly to Reagan, hoping she was okay. Sam didn't want Reagan to get any ideas. Sam was sure Ashton still had eyes for Reagan, Caitlyn was just an old friend.

"Even if it is what it seems, I'm happy for them." Reagan said before jumping into a conversation with Luke.

-

Besides last night for that brief second, Ashton hadn't seen Reagan since she walked out on him after he said those mean things at Michael's house.

His texts were ignored and his phone calls declined. Reagan was good at dropping off the face of the earth when she wanted to. It reminded Ashton of the time when Reagan and Ryan broke up so long ago. She disappeared when her and Ryan broke up until she finally popped back into everyone's lives 3 weeks later.

Now.. It had been 2 months and Reagan was unheard from. 2 whole months before she popped up at the bar last night.

It scared Ashton because Reagan came back when she broke up with Ryan. Ashton was her comfort. He let her rant to him and she listened to his advice. But now Ashton was the problem and he wasn't sure if he had lost her for good. Would she try to avoid him in the future, or would she come back around and act as though nothing happened? Or would she leave again? Would they ever mend their relationship to at least be good friends again?

All Ashton was sure of was Reagan was special to him and he didn't know what to do about it. He had tried to talk to her, but she never answered. He had showed up at her apartment, but she was never there. He couldn't do this one sided fighting for much longer, he was tired.

Ashton ran his fingers through his messy curly hair and reached over for his phone. He sat up on the edge of his bed and put the phone to his ear, listening as the rings kept coming. Of course Reagan sent him to voicemail, but instead of sighing and hanging up like he usually would, he decided to let out his thoughts in the voicemail.

"Tonight after seeing you for that small amount of time, I was sitting here thinking. I remembered a voicemail you left me two months ago,  a few nights after the night you walked out of Michael's. You told me to go fuck myself because you loved me and couldn't believed what I had said. I remember those words rolling off of your tongue so gracefully. I remember grabbing my chest because I wasn't sure how words from your pretty mouth could hurt so much. " Ashton sighed.

"Shortly after that, I called you one early morning when I couldn't sleep. I expected you to send me to voicemail and ignore my call because that's what you were best at. But this time you answered, probably because it was early and you didn't even bother to check your caller ID. You answered and my heart beat sped up. You mumbled a hello and I somehow choked out words to ask you how you were. I could feel you freeze on the other end of the line once you realized it was me. You didn't think I would be calling especially at 4 in the morning. You mumbled a fine and somehow I smiled just at the sound of your voice.  You hung up abruptly and that was the last conversation we had." Ashton continued, "Let's fast forward to a few days ago. I was still wondering how you are. I wonder if you have seen any good movies lately, or if you've found any new bands you like. I wonder if anyone has told you that you have a pretty smile. It reminds me of when you use to blush whenever I would say something sweet. A lot has been on my mind, and see six months ago when we met, I was jumping through hoops trying to make sure you were the happiest you could be. I was trying to put you before myself. But it's no longer six months ago, it's now. And Now I remember you as the girl I gave my heart to. The girl I told my secrets and deepest feelings. It's now and I still miss you. I miss the times you would call and ask how my day was when we couldn't be together. I miss our friendship, our laughs, and our stories. Maybe one day will be different. Maybe you'll catch me at Starbucks one Tuesday morning and will ask how i'm doing, instead of me chasing and fighting after you. I think about you before my eyes close and I finally fall asleep. It took me a long time to realize, but I love you. I still love you and you're driving me crazy," Ashton said taking in a deep breath.

"You told me to go fuck myself, and I have found that at first it was said out of anger but you were never necessarily angry. You telling me to go fuck myself was a way to tell me that you loved me and still do. It was probably a way to tell me

'I love you and I hate that'

But, I'm sitting here in heartache missing you. I've tried and tried to reach out to you. Just to talk things over, but you ignore all my efforts. So, like you said, go fuck yourself."

Ashton tossed his phone to the side and let out a huff before rubbing his face with his hands, trying not to scream. It was late, almost 2am, but Ashton decided he needed to go on a walk. He pulled on a his jacket and shoes before he quietly crept out of the house, careful to not wake anyone.

The windows on his car were foggy, and he walked over to the window placing his finger softly on the glass before moving his finger to write letters.

Ashton and Reagan he wrote. He pulled his finger back and watch the words fade, just like they did.

-

Whoop Whoop new chapter!

I have the end planned out, but I haven't been very inspired to write lately. It's hard when you fall into the college routine of class, homework, dinner, shower, bed. But i'm going to try to make this story one you guys will call your favorite!

Thanks to all of you who read my stories and these notes! And comment, I love your comments.

Twitter: @Sassgarthluke