**fluff**

Request by: aIecsIightwood

Imagine being Bucky's everything before the fall, and then seeing him again as the Winter Soldier.

(I wrote this in an 'I' perspective, or first person perspective, because I felt like I could get more emotional with it)

They say that love maims you; that it brands you and burns you and eats you alive until there's nothing left. You know when you're falling in love when you feel helpless and reckless, and would destroy a whole 'nother town for someone, or even a country. That's how I felt with my Bucky. We were madly in love, with Steve by Bucky's side at every time I wasn't. Bucky had maimed me, had made me his. And I, too, made Bucky mine, until I lost him.

Flashback

"Doll, when I get back, I am taking you to Paris," Bucky said whilst smiling down at me.

I giggled in response. "And why Paris?" I asked with a smile on my face.

A smaller, blonder version of Bucky ran up to us. "Because Paris is the City of Love," Steve said, slightly out of breath.

Bucky chuckled. "That is exactly correct," Bucky with, pointing a finger at Steve with the arm that was wrapped around my shoulder. The three of us were currently walking to Bucky's plane, which was taking him to Germany.

"Ooh, a bit of a romantic, are we?" I said slyly, nudging Bucky in the side with my elbow.

He giggled and kissed the top of my forehead.

"Oh, you have no idea," Steve said, shaking his head towards the ground as he kept up with us.

Bucky sent him side eye and then looked back at me. Suddenly, I met the moment I dreaded- we all stopped moving. We had reached Bucky's plane, which was taking him into the war in Germany.

"Are you sure you have to go?" I asked, teary eyed.

Bucky chuckled slightly, wiping a tear off of my face. "I'm sorry, Doll, but I have to. This is what I was born to do," he whispered, smiling softly at me.

I giggled slightly and looked into his baby blue eyes, which were now starting to tear up. "Buck, don't cry," I said, wiping a stray tear off of his cheek. "If you cry, then I'll cry harder," I said, giggling slightly.

He smiled softly and leaned down for the most passionate kiss I had ever experienced. His lips collided with mine and all the feeling in my body glided away. Bucky made me feel that way every time he kissed me, and to know that this may be the last one I would ever receive made it that much more sentimental.

We pulled away at the exact same time and we smiled softly at one another. Just then we heard a quiet whistling noise from Steve, who was looking in every direction but ours. The two of us giggled at Steve.

Bucky spoke, "Ok, Steve. The show's over. Now, come and give me a Brooklyn hug," Bucky said, waving his best friend over.

Steve rolled his eyes at him and then took him in for a hug. Bucky towered over Steve, but that never stopped Steve from giving Buck some attitude once in a while.

"I'm gonna miss you, pal," Bucky said to Steve.

"I'll miss you, too, Buck. Come back for Y/N and I! Especially Y/N!" Steve called as Bucky began walking towards the plane. When he boarded the plane, I broke down. I covered my mouth to keep from sobbing too loudly, and I collapsed into Steve's arms.

"He'll be fine, Y/N. I promise. Just fine," were the last significant set of words Steve had said to me for a while. The other one was telling me he was Captain America, but that was never on the top of my mind.

The day I had feared the most had finally come. Bucky was gone. Bucky had fallen off the train that him and Steve were using as a transport device. And then, Steve died. Steve drove the ship into the ice and that was the last they heard of him, at least for a while.

Upon hearing both of these horrific incidents, I burst into tears. I had collapsed onto the floor, and almost went to the doctor to get prescribed depression pills I didn't need just so I could take the whole bottle and end my life. Everyone I had ever loved was gone. My mother had died at child birth giving birth to my brother, Charlie. Charlie had died a drunk, the constant thought of him being my mother's murderer constantly on his mind due to our father. Our father, Henry, died a drunk, as well. And Steve, oh Steve, had died doing what he always dreamed of. And Bucky, oh my sweet, sweet Bucky..

The funeral for Captain America was a big one. They presumed it like any normal military funeral, but with extra efforts here and there. Bucky got a normal military funeral, but he never wanted anything too flashy. That's what he would always tell me in case something like this were to happen, which, unfortunately, it did.

I cried on Bucky's tomb stone for what felt like days. I left roses, petunias, and even brought our favorite butterscotch candies to eat and lay on his grave. Oh, my sweet, sweet, poor Bucky...

2014 (real time)

"Y/N! Y/N! You could've saved me! Why didn't you save me, Y/N!?"

Another terrifying dream has awoken me again. Bucky screaming at me for not saving him, which ended up with me crying myself back to sleep, if that was even possible.

Let me tell you something before I go on, otherwise it would be quite confusing. I'm still the same age as I was when Steve and Bucky "passed." The reason I am the still the same age is because I was taken and experimented on. I was iced and put out for a while, until the Avengers found me, which included Steve. I had asked Steve if Bucky was with him, and the only answer I needed was a frown and a diversion of direction towards the ground.

Steve got a second chance. Bucky already had lived his life to the max.

So now I bring you back to the present: sitting up in my bed with the coldest sweat I've ever mustered. Bucky was on my mind, as always, and his best friend was just down the hall.

It just didn't feel right. I should be 98, Steve should be 97, and Buck should be 99. Nothing made sense. I mean, we are that old, but we didn't look it. Well, Steve and I didn't look a day over 22. And as for Buck, he was possibly a few days over 22 up in the sky with the big man.

I climbed out of bed and walked to my bathroom. I grabbed a towel and dampened it with warm water, and then patted it all over my face.

"It's going to get better," I whispered to myself in the mirror. "I'll get better."

Morning.

I woke up again, but this time without a cold sweat or any more nightmares.

I got up and pampered myself in the bathroom to make sure I looked at least halfway decent for the others to see. I learned fast that Tony was the "funny guy," and that any wardrobe malfunction, well, he would make fun of it.

Upon reaching the others, I noticed that Natasha was making herself a cup of coffee, but with a solemn look on her face. Odd. Natasha usually thrived on coffee in the mornings.

"Good morning, Natasha," I said when I walked up to her.

Tony was the one to reply from the couch he was on. "Good morning to you, too, Y/N."

I playfully glared at Tony and then focused my attention back on Natasha. "Nat, what's up?"

"We have a mission today," she said without looking at me. She placed a pinch of sugar in her coffee and then looked up to me. "And it's about HYDRA, which isn't exactly whom I would like to be having a war against right now."

"And why?" I asked.

"Because," she let out a breathy giggle, "because of them, I can't wear bikinis," was all she said before she walked away from me with her coffee.

I watched her walk away and towards the others. Weird. She was never afraid of a fight ever. Why was she afraid of this one?

**

"Ok, so Y/N and I got the bridge," Steve said to the group. All of us were currently gathered around the conference table setting up teams for the mission.  "And Natasha and Sam, you got the ground."

"Aye aye, Cap," Sam said with a saluting motion.

"What about the rest of us?" Tony asked.

"I'm afraid we don't need the rest of you. Us four should be enough," Steve said. "HYDRA is big, but they're my fight. Fury trusted me to do this, and since he's gone I'll take this as my full responsibility."

"With us, of course," I said, raising my hand slightly. The group giggled softly and I smiled.

Steve cleared his throat. "We leave in five. Gather whatever weapons or armor you need. We're gonna take HYDRA down."

**

Steve and I were currently on the bridge waiting for the HYDRA vehicles to come by. Sam and Natasha were on the highway below us, making sure no HYDRA soldiers got past them.

Steve and I were sitting behind a black van currently, still waiting for the HYDRA vehicles.

Steve turned to me. "So, I heard that you have been staring at Bruce for an extra few seconds than usual," Steve said whilst smirking at me.

I rolled my eyes and smiled. "What can I say? I'm attracted to older men," I said and winked at Steve.

Steve shook his head and smiled. "And he would still be attracted to you if he were here," Steve said seriously and softly.

I smiled softly. "Thanks, Steve," I whispered. "I remember when-"

"Watch out!" Steve yelled while covering me. The van we were hiding behind bounced off of Steve's shield which was now protecting me. Two HYDRA vehicles were now here, both of which were black suburbans.

"I'll take the one on the left. You get the one on the right," I said to Steve as the two of us stood up.

"Whatever you say, Miss," Steve said to me whilst winking. I rolled my eyes at him and pulled out my guns.

Two HYDRA officers came on to me and I fought back hard. I knocked one off the bridge and the other I shot right in the head. Then there were more. I began shooting bullets endlessly, each soldier dropping as unclean as the last.

Steve was handling his soldiers well. He was throwing his shield around, throwing endless punches- he really was the super soldier.

I finished off all the men I had to kill, except for one. I was temporarily blinded by a reflective device of some sort. I covered my eyes as the figure walked out from behind the suburban he had been behind.

"Holy shit," I mumbled when I uncovered my eyes. Bucky stood about 20 feet away from me. He had longer hair and a metal arm, but I could still recognize him. His baby blue eyes were still the same, but now they held no emotions. "Bucky," I mumbled.

Steve finished off his men and then came to stand by my side. "Is that..?"

"Yeah," I said, holding back my tears.

Bucky was staring at us as if he wanted to kill us slowly; as if he wanted to boil us alive and wouldn't even feel bad about it.

"What happened to him?" I whispered.

"HYDRA," Steve said, glaring at the word.

Bucky pulled out two guns and began shooting at the two of us. We dodged each bullet, and I somehow got closer to Bucky.

He ran out of bullets and began fighting me with his knife. I fought back hard, hitting him in the jaw, the neck- anywhere I would think would slow him down. But he never slowed down. He had determination, that much hasn't changed.

Steve was currently facing more HYDRA officers that had climbed up the bridge from the opposite side of the ground that Nat and Sam were covering.

I pulled on his hair and he let out a slight scream.

"Buck! It's me! It's Y/N!" I screamed at him.

"I don't know you!" He screamed back, hitting me square in the jaw.

I rubbed on my jaw while I regained my stature. "Yes you do! We loved each other! You were my best friend and my lover and my everything, Buck! And you're still all of those things to me," I said, tearing up at the end. "I love you, Bucky."

He looked at me in bewilderment and then suddenly grabbed his head and cried out in pain.

"Buck!" I yelled as I ran up to him.

He held his head as he looked at me. "Y/N? Is that really you?" He mumbled.

I nodded my head and hugged him. Tears were streaming down my face at this point. Bucky eventually hugged me back and the two of us collapsed onto the road together.

Steve finished off his soldiers and ran up to us. "Buck? Do you remember me?"

Buck nodded his head. "Of course, Steve. I'm with you till the end of the line," he said.

Steve collapsed next to us and hugged us both. We were all hugging the life out of each other, especially Steve and I were hugging the life out of Bucky.

"I missed you so much," I mumbled to Bucky.

He smiled softly. "I missed you, too, Doll," he said.

I leaned up and kissed him hard. I wrapped my arms around his head and kissed him like, well, like he had just been resurrected from the dead (which he was.)

Steve pulled away from the group hug awkwardly as Bucky and I kept kissing. Bucky's lips were still as soft and plump as I remembered them. I tugged on his hair to bring him closer to me, and that was when we heard Sam and Natasha.

Sam cleared his throat and Bucky and I separated. The two of us stood up and Bucky stood in front of me protectively.

"It's ok, Buck. I know them," I reassured him.

He moved to stand by my side and he took my hand.

"Is it safe to say that we defeated HYDRA?" Sam asked with hope.

"For now we have," I said while squeezing Bucky's hand. "For now.."

DID U GUYS LIKE IT!?

Sorry not sorry for the first person pov. I just really wanted to write this one this way.

Love y'all!

Random Gif of Seb:

AND OMG GUYS TOM HIDDLESTON IS IN CHICAGO AND I LIVE AN HOUR AWAY FROM CHICAGO!! IT HURTS THAT IM SO CLOSE TO HIM!! Link:

https://www.yahoo.com/movies/tom-hiddleston-totally-blames-thor-in-a-local-161020762.html