Whew Chile, grab a snack

Word count: 3546

***

The way he fought was like a dance.

Every hit, kick, and lunge was perfectly placed and calculated. He could find a hole in anybody's defense, and take them down easily. He was able to make something so violent and bloody look, (dare you say it?), beautiful.

He was surrounded, completely overwhelmed with Moldovan officers. In his efforts to reach Bucharest, Romania, someone had called in a sighting, and he was intercepted in Chisinau, Moldova. He was now fighting tirelessly, praying to any God that he hadn't made national news yet. Hope was almost lost, when someone else suddenly joined him in the fight.

He turned to you, nothing but confusion written on his face, wondering why you were helping him. Were you just crazy? A civilian with authority issues? His fighting was continued, his eyes finding you every moment they could.

Not a civilian. Your movements were trained; you knew exactly what you were doing. His heart jumped, fearing your origin. Were you HYDRA? CIA? SHIELD? FBI? Whoever you were, you were there to bring him back to Russia or back to America, and he did not like the sound of either of those places.

The fighting lulled for a moment, both you and Bucky standing stiffly facing each other, unconscious officers strewn around your feet. You met his gaze with your own, your heart dropping, fully realizing what you had just done.

"Who do you work for?" He asked, his tone steely and his hands clenched into fists at his sides. Sirens began to sound in the distance, which would usually be the sign to leave the scene, but you couldn't flee without him.

"I'm not here to hurt you." You said, trying to comfort him, "I used to be a SHIELD agent, I work with Steve Rogers."

Bucky's nostrils flared at the mention of Steve's name- the bastard couldn't understand when he was being avoided. He kept staring you down, offering no indication of whether he was believing anything you were telling him.

"Please, I can explain more, but we have to go now, before they get here. If they get you... just please, Bucky." Your hands were held slightly in front of you, showing your surrender. His eyes flashed towards the sirens in the distance, then back at you. He suddenly rushed towards you. You swung at him in self defense, but he ducked under your arm, moving behind you and putting his right arm around your neck and into a headlock. Your hands gripped at the forearm under your jaw, trying in vain to pull it off of you. His metallic, left hand pinched the side of your neck, causing you to release a small yelp. In moments, your head became dizzy, and then you completely blacked out.

The first sense to hit you again was the smell. Slightly grimy, a bit damp, but mostly dust. Your eyelids fought against you, but you were finally able to open your eyes. You were sat in a chair in a small basement-like room, your wrists and ankles zip-tied and restrained. Your eyes darted around the room, trying to piece together not only how you had gotten there, but how you would leave.

"Good morning." A gruff voice spoke behind you, your head snapping in it's direction. Bucky stepped into your line of sight, his face cold and suspicious. He wore dark wash jeans and a black, long-sleeved shirt, finished with black gloves and a baseball cap. It was odd, seeing someone like him in such a normal state.

"Who do you work for?" He repeated the question he first asked you, back in the midst of a fight. Obviously, he didn't believe your first answer.

"Captain America. Steve Rogers." You answered again. "He's been looking for you, and I just happened to find you first."

"How do I know you're not lying?" He challenged. "You could very well be working for HYDRA, or the FBI. And we both know they aren't my biggest fans." He crossed the room to stand in front of you, keeping his distance.

"You can call Steve right now. I'm sure you took my phone, call him and I'll talk to him."

"Don't you understand that I don't want to be found?" His voice raised slightly, and it almost made you flinch. He was intimidating, and your knowledge of his true capabilities were enough to make anyone scared of him, but you knew that if he wanted to hurt you, he would've.

"I didn't tell him where you are," you reasoned, "I picked up on the sighting report back in Moldova, and I was just following that lead. The officials found you before I did. I never even got a chance to tell anyone that I'd found you, and I won't right now if it means you'll trust me."

He looked at you skeptically, but there was no indication that you were lying. Your eyes didn't dart around, your voice was steady, and he could hear your heartbeat when the both of you were silent, and it was steady as well. His arms crossed over his chest as he pondered the thought of obliging to your offer.

You almost let out a sigh of relief when he walked back to the corner of the room he was initially in, rummaging through a backpack you hadn't noticed before. You recognized your phone immediately when he pulled it out, flipping it around in his hand as he walked back towards you.

He knelt by your left side, eyebrows furrowing as he navigated the outdated burner phone. After a few moments, he had figured it out, and it was ringing, the name 'STEVE' flashing on the screen.

"(Y/N)?" Steve answered, his voice holding the smallest bit of hope. "What did you find?"

"Nothing much," you were able to make you voice sound slightly disappointed, "the lead in Chisinau is a dead end. A false sighting." Your eyes locked on Bucky, his gaze directly at the voice coming through the phone.

"Goddammit." Steve huffed. He was getting tired of all of the bad news. "Thank you, (Y/N), please keep me updated. Stay safe."

"Roger that, Captain." You said, a small, sad smile on your face.

"Goodbye."

"Bye, Steve."

And he hung up. Bucky stayed frozen, his eyes still on the phone. Your heart almost broke for him, not realizing the effect Steve's voice could've had on him. It might've been too much all at once.

He suddenly inhaled deeply, shaking his head slightly to regain his focus. His eyes flickered up to yours, the previous hardened gaze giving way to a soft sadness. Wordlessly, he stood and walked to his backpack once more. He returned with a pocket knife in his hand, silently cutting the zip-ties around both your wrists and ankles. You stayed in the chair, slightly shocked and confused as to what was happening. Your phone and small wallet were dropped into your lap, making you jump slightly.

"I'm sorry," Bucky said softly, standing in front of you once more, "please, just leave me alone." He turned and began walking away.

"Bucky," you stood up, reaching a hand towards him and managing to grab onto his sleeve. He stopped in his tracks, keeping his eyes forward. "You don't have to be alone. I can't imagine what's happening in that mind of yours, and I'm sure the life of a fugitive isn't treating it well."

He didn't reply, but he also didn't move away.

"I don't have to tell Steve anything," you bargained, "I get that you don't want to be found, that's okay. Just, please, let me help you."

His eyes now met yours, so soft and sad. 

"Don't follow me."

And with that, he was gone.

***

Of course you followed him. He was Steve's best friend, but on top of that, he was a human being in need of help. He was more than capable of taking care of himself, and you were well aware of that, but that didn't mean he had to sort through everything by himself.

It was an intricate dance, following Bucky. You had to stay close enough to follow his sharp turns, but far enough to keep him from picking up on your presence. He had led you all the way to Romania. Bucharest, to be exact. It's where he had decided to begin to settle, getting an apartment and a mattress, something he hadn't owned previously. He felt an excitement in his newfound hiding spot, the small sense of normalcy bringing an unbridled joy to him. Normal was something he only held in memories, memories that were a century old, and definitely felt a century away.

You kept your distance, recognizing the small life he had begun to build for himself. This was his first attempt to integrate into a regular civilian life, to live amongst the other people without a worry of where he would sleep that night. It was a lovely thing to see- a man that deserved nothing but happiness was finally finding bits and pieces of a life he was never allowed to live. Not wanting to ruin that opportunity, you let him be, you let him live.

That is, until he finally caught onto you. It was only a matter of time, he was a highly trained assassin, after all. Of course he would realize you were following him.

He had pushed you into an alleyway, pinning you against the wall, his hands gripping your upper arms.

"Why won't you leave me alone?" He growled at you.

"I'm not trying to intrude on what you have going here, I promise," you spoke softly, but firmly, "but I did come here to find you, and even though I'm not telling anyone where you are, there's no way I'm going to lose you again."

He let go of you, a stressed sigh coming from him as he ran a hand down his face. I just don't understand," he said, "you're not going to tell Steve, so what's your reason of staying?"

You looked at him for a moment, before slowly approaching him. Your gentle hand reached up and touched his cheek, his whole body going rigid from the contact. It was the first time he could remember someone touching him this softly, with no intention of hurting him.

"I know what it's like, questioning yourself and your worth as a person," you spoke softly, "and I know how the nights are sleepless and the nightmares are endless. But mostly, I know how painful it is to not have someone to talk to." You dropped your hand, tilting your head slightly as you gave him look of sympathy. "I can't say I know the pain you're going through, but I can say that I'm just offering one thing: being a friend to talk to."

He blinked at you, trying to hide the surprise he felt. His jaw tightened, a habit that formed for whenever he was deep in thought. He was almost angry with himself for even considering your offer, but the appeal of someone to simply keep him company was as tempting as the forbidden fruit. Having a person to talk to walked hand in hand with the normalcy he craved, but his trust in you was close to non-existent. 

His eyes met yours, an unreadable emotion in them. He didn't speak another word, just turned and left you standing in the same spot.

***

He danced with the though of letting you in, even if it was just a little bit. There was something absolutely intoxicating about the way you had gently touched his cheek that day in the alley, and he hadn't forgotten that feeling in the two moths that had passed since. 

Admittedly, he had grown to despise the loneliness he had once relished in. Loneliness always gave way to thoughts, and Bucky Barnes alone in his thoughts was never a good thing. Every time he saw a child with their mother, or a couple smiling sweetly at each other with interlocked hands, he felt a jealousy deep inside his chest. He had spent seventy years incredibly alone, being looked at as a weapon rather than a person, and all he wanted was know how it felt to care and be cared for. It was the last thing he had yet to rediscover since his escape from HYDRA.

He was incredibly aware of your usual whereabouts. You were a creature of habit, always visiting a particular outdoor market, or a specific bakery you had come to love. He had first set out on learning your routine in an attempt to actively avoid you, but the knowledge of your schedule would now be put to a very opposite use.

He almost smiled to himself when he saw you, sitting by the window of the small, hole-in-the-wall bakery. Sometimes his own skills impressed him. Taking a deep breath, he entered the shop, making a path straight towards you and taking a seat across from you at the small table. You looked at him with a quizzical stare, his sudden appearance definitely a surprise to you.

"How can I help you?" You asked with an eyebrow raised.

"I've done a lot of thinking," his hands folded together on the table in front of him, his eyes never leaving them, "and, frankly, I don't want to think about this, about everything, by myself."

Your gaze softened, your voice quiet when you spoke again, "Tell me all about it, Bucky."

His eyes flickered to you, relief washing over him. He cleared his throat and sat a bit straighter, his hands fixing his cap slightly before falling into his lap.

"Well..."

***

You threw your head back as you laughed at Bucky's story, a hand flying to cover your mouth. He had burst into the bakery today with such excitement, ready to tell you about a story he had remembered from when him and Steve were just kids in Brooklyn. That was how the days worked, you meeting him at the same table everyday, and he would either tell you stories that made his eyes shine with happiness and a smile grace his lips, or he would tell you about the faces he saw in his nightmares and the screams he would hear when he closed his eyes. Whatever was bouncing around that brain of his he would tell you. And boy, did you love listening. 

Below the trauma and hurt, he was such a bright person. His personality came through in flashes, just small glimpses of who he was in his past life, but they shone brightly whenever they made an appearance. You knew he could never be the James Barnes he was in 1940, but that man from long ago was not completely gone, just hiding.

"God, I wish I could remember his face. That girl asking Steve to dance was probably one of the bigger moments of his teenage life. I've never seen him smile that big." Bucky smiled at the memory.

"It'll come back one day," you reassured, "have you tried listening to music from the forties at all? I'm sure it would bring up bits and pieces."

"No, I don't think I have." He said.

"Well, I have a computer and an endless supply of any music you would ever want to hear. You're always welcome over." You offered. I wasn't the first time you had told him your door was always open to him, but he had yet to take you up on that offer. His eyes looked between yours for a moment, processing the proposal, before he spoke again.

"You doing anything tonight?"

***

There was a small knock at your door at exactly 7:00pm. You chuckled and shook your head, knowing that he would never get past the perfectionism that he was taught. You opened your door to Bucky, a small smile on your face.

"Hello there, come in."

He stepped in hesitantly, his eyes immediately darting around and finding every door, window, and possible exit in sight. That was a habit he would never break.

"Did you eat?" You asked, walking past him towards the small kitchen.

"I did, yeah." He replied quietly, looking around and taking in your living situation. Your apartment was as bare as his, surely just waiting for the day when you would have to pack up and move on. It wasn't surprising, but it left him feeling just a bit sad, knowing your stay in Bucharest was only temporary. He didn't know what he would do once you left. He had never really thought about it, but there would come the day where you had to go, whether to help the Avengers once again or to simply go home.

Home.

Was this his home? Would he leave once you were gone?

All questions for another day.

"So," your voice brought him out of his thoughts, having now joined him in the living room with your laptop, "any specific songs or singers you can think of?"

He tilted his head in thought, wracking his brain for anything.

"One of my favorites was Billy Eckstine, I think."

"Billy it is." You smiled looking to your computer screen. "'My Destiny', that sounds good."

The orchestra filled the the air, the vintage sound radiating through the room. Bucky closed his eyes, a wave of nostalgia washing over him. It made him feel back at home.

My destiny is to be in love with you

You smiled at him, just simply happy for the way he was enjoying the music. His eyes opened and locked with yours.

Makes no difference what you say or do

I must stay in love with you

You giggled when he began swaying gently, a bright grin on his face. It was comfortable, him goofily dancing to an old song in your living room.

That's my destiny

It's the thing you can't control

He swayed towards you, his hand held in front of him.

"Dance with me."

I belong to you both heart and soul

With a love beyond control

You swayed gently with him, a small space between the two of you. His left hand gently rested on your waist, his right hand joined with yours. Your eyes never left his, a small smile on both of your faces. In that moment, he didn't feel so broken and sad. He felt like himself, like the person that was suppressed for decades was finally taking control again. He was completely content, even more so with you in his arms.

They say nothing is sure

Even the sea runs dry

You had never been this close to him.  It almost made you blush, having him hold you close like he was. You could feel your heart beat a bit faster, confirming the one thing you had been questioning: you had feelings for Bucky Barnes. It was terrifying, now coming to this realization. There were so many reasons why he couldn't be the person fate had set you up with, there were so many things wrong with not only the timeline of both of your lives, but the state at which both of you met. So many reasons to say no, but all you wanted to say was yes.

They're wrong, one thing is sure

Love like mine can never die

He pulled you closer, his chest now resting against yours. His cheek came to rest on your temple, his eyes closing in pure bliss. Everything felt right, it all felt okay. The world always felt shifted since he broke free from the Winter Soldier, but dancing with you filled a hole in his chest that he didn't know was missing. It was almost bittersweet- you made him feel human, but losing you would hurt in a way he didn't even want to imagine. Was it worth it? 

That's how it is

And that's how it has to be

He could list a million reason why you couldn't be his. There were too many obstacles, too many problems to face right then. He told himself right then, he couldn't pull you into that. Not completely. But one day, when his world settled and he could control himself again, he wouldn't hesitate to make you his girl. For now, he would take his dance tonight, then hold onto that feeling until he could act upon it.

You are everything in life to me

You are my destiny

You let yourself relish in the feeling of his arms around you, knowing that it was all you would have for a while. Bucky was a smart man, and you were sure that he was aware of the unfortunate timing of the two of you meeting. There was too much going on in his life, in the world, for you to complicate it all. It hurt, to know he was so close to you but you couldn't have him. But, you couldn't be selfish; you had to give him time. Time to figure everything out. And you would wait patiently for as long as he needed.

***

You were walking home from a small market you frequented, when you came across a newsstand on the street corner. It was something you usually ignored, but the daily paper hung for display made you do a double take.

WINTER SOLDIER PRINS IN BOMBARDAMENTELE ONU DE LA VIENA

"Fuck." You whispered, Bucky's face pictured right below the headline. How could this be possible? He never left Romania. Who would be trying to frame him? You hadn't seen him since the night you danced together, a little over a week ago. You gave him his space, letting him come to you first. You knew he probably need to sort out his thoughts after that night.

Whatever questions and reservations you had could wait. You needed to get to Bucky, before someone else did. 

TO BE CONTINUED