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It's said that one doesn't quite grasp the severity of one's action until one is faced with the consequences. I, for one, knew I had just made the biggest mistake ever, not of my life though, cause I was certain that with the way I was, further mistakes were inevitable.

After the incident, I was alone in the room, my eyes swollen from all the tears I shed after he walked out. His words continued to echo in my head, and while these went on, I just kept thinking of a million decisions I could have taken to avert this. I mean, this could have turned out with a different ending, but I just had to mess it up.

I was sure that Ethan would keep to his words, and this was what scared me. I could not walk into a contracted marriage with him, after coming to terms that he was special to me, just as Enitan was. That would be dire torture. I'm sure I can't survive that.

I just can't.

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The next morning, I awoke with a strong resolution to storm into Ethan McKenzie's office or his home, whichever my legs lead me to, run to him and wrap my desperate arms around him, and spill everything on my mind. Did I find love, or at least the closest feeling to love, and get to lose it? No. I'm not going to be pitiful. Yes, I made a mistake. I had trampled upon his feelings, undeniable. I had hurt both him and me. But, cower up and sulk for the rest of my life because I did not correct my wrongs, no.

As I stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom, I straightened up, dolled myself up with my normal daily make-up, jumped into a black cocktail dress, rolled my hair into a ponytail, and completed the look with black Natasha suede shoes. Black was undoubtedly my lucky color, and this, apart from the fact that I initially loathed my engagement with Ethan, was the reason I went for my bridal look.

Despite hoping to get my semi-relationship back with Ethan, today was the round-off to the shared album with Cupid. We had ten songs on the album, and Cupid made sure I led the vocals in them all. I must say, apart from the stunt he pulled with his information on Ethan, Cupid was a cool dude, and I was looking forward to more duets with him.

Although, right now, it still pisses me that I had taken heed of his words and unwittingly destroyed my chance at love.

God, I almost face-palmed myself as the realization that I had linked my feelings to love over twenty times in my mind swept past me.

Taking one last look at the mirror, I took in a deep breath, and on release, I affirmed that I was strong and that I will take back my life, no matter what.

With this newfound directive, I walked out of my room, and to the reception, greeting everyone cheerfully as if I wasn't the same girl who had sobbed through the night.

"Good morning, Ms. Keji, looking good as usual." One of the receptionists, a fair-tanned brunette, probably in her early thirties, greeted me with a smile. I had never noticed her, but to be honest, I never noticed anyone in the hotel since I had arrived a few months ago, cause life has just been about me and me alone.

Damn, I've been so self-conscious.

I returned the smile and walked toward her when it was apparent that she did not just mean to greet me.

"A package came in for you this morning." She said as she handed me an A4-sized envelope. Without thinking much of it, I collected the document, and my eyes hazily swept across the address on it.

However, my heart dropped as I noticed that it was the prenup document, just as Ethan had promised. Undoubtedly, these were the contract papers.

He did keep to his word, and you already expected this, Keji. I almost yelled at myself.

But I wasn't going to sign anything without speaking to him. Without letting him know how sorry I am for taking his feelings for granted and disbelieving his honesty.

I couldn't give up. I must correct this.

I forced a small smile to thank the receptionist and continued to the door to join the car already waiting for me.

________

As soon as I stepped into the studio, I was welcomed by the surprised presence of Dandelion and Tina, and no amount of words could explain how much I missed the duo. After bringing me to London, Tina got busy working on my brand that we hardly got to see, save for a few Skype meetings, and google meet chats. Meanwhile, Dandelion was a total cut-off. He logged everyone out, as he and his girlfriend headed to a particular resort in Italy. Nonetheless, I was glad to have people of my own around, particularly since I was sure I had nothing in control.

Heck, I was terrified and nervous all at once.

Guess this was why I found solace in having friendly faces around again. I immediately wrapped my arms around Dan's waist on seeing him, and he, though visibly surprised, held me in the hug.

"Looks like someone missed me." Dan chuckled.

Tina scoffed. "Well, aren't you an egocentric individual?"

I smiled as I turned in the hug. "I missed the both of you."

Tina patted me on the back. "We did too."

"But, we are all ready to let 'When Cupid Meets Rage' loose!" Trails cut in, instantly setting the room in motion.

That was the order needed to get all reunions and emotions in check, as members of the teams scurried to their various stalks, while I moved into the booth where an always-handsome-looking Cupid checked his vocals.

"Hey, Keji. Looking sharp." He bubbled.

However, I ignored him - suddenly finding myself angry with him again. I thought I already had my emotions in check, but no, I was practically boiling inside.

Innocent Cupid, on noticing my quietness, walked over and tapped me gently.

"Are you well?"

But I couldn't let my roar of anger ruin the recording. So, under my breath, I muttered, "All well."

Unsatisfied, Cupid sighed and moved back to his stand.

"Are you sweethearts ready up there?" Trials asked, and I shot him a thumbs up while Cupid made a short squirm of excitement. With that, the background tunes came in, and I stepped in with the strums of my guitar, and shortly after, in perfect timing, Cupid's voice synced in.

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"Now, you're like a rage of fire!
Can't withstand the flare of your flames!
Baby, you burn there so hot!
Stricken by my cupid's bow."

We both chorused as we drew to the end of the song.

"Oh, oh, oh..." I echoed as the whole tune slowly died off.

"And...." Trails announced, "Done!"

Instantly, the entire studio jeered up in shouts of excitement at the completion of the album "Cupid Meets Rage". The team members all hugged, fist-bumped, and did all they could to show their appreciation to each other for the hard work put in so far.

Even I couldn't believe that eventually, I was able to do an album for Index, despite my charades with Rita Z, and all the incidents that riled me up after. I turned to my side and walked into Cupid's open arms. Too overwhelmed with happiness to remain pissed, I hugged him as we allowed the beauty of the moment to capture us.

_______

Later, an after-party was held at the studio to celebrate the recent achievement. It wasn't that big of a celebration, but it was okay. There were drinks, music, dancing, delicious snacks, and continental dishes. I mean, this was alright as I ensured I took advantage of the freedom to drink as much as I wanted. After all, there was no Enitan or Ethan to stop me.

And, yes. So much for a resolution. I didn't find the courage to even pick up my phone to text either one of them. To think I was going to face Ethan and come clean. But, no, I choose to barbie up and crouch down, hurting as my heart stabbed me repeatedly. I could almost translate this to "Really, you finally get loved, and you blow it all up!"

As I moved my body to the eccentric beats with a bottle of brandy in one hand, and the other hand flying in rhythm, I saw Cupid move toward me, his feet stylishly following the music.

"Hey, Keji. That's your third bottle, and it's not even been two hours." Cupid said. "You sure you're alright?"

I knew he was sincerely concerned, but damn, this was almost entirely his fault. But could I hold him at fault for a decision I made? C'mon, I had the choice to ignore the misinformation, but I didn't. However, this hard lesson taught me not to be too quick to take the words of others to judge people, no matter how close they are to me.

I wobbled myself closer to him and dropped my voice to a whisper, loud enough to be heard by him over the loud beats.

"Next time, love, do your research properly. Not everything appears as it seems. Not all information is legit, especially not from the lips of smudge blog articles."

My voice was neutral. I made sure of it, and Cupid got the cue.

His dancing slowed down rapidly, and through the dim lights of the disco, I could see the remorse in his eyes, and for a couple of seconds, we just stared at each other.

Finally, Cupid's lips parted, and he said, "I'm sorry, Keji."

"I never should have listened to their crap about him. He does seem like a fine gentleman, and it's natural that because of his affluence, stories will be made up."

I smiled. "Yeah."

Cupid also smiled, thus broadening the corner of his eyes. "I see that you've got a thing for him."

But, the smile froze on my face, as I wondered - was it that obvious?

"Look, we don't all get to be lovers," He stated, "If you are sure that, damn it, you've fallen so hard, then don't let go of those feelings, Keji."

I stared at him, completely unsure of what to say.

Luckily, he wasn't done. "Fight for him, 'cause I know that deep down, Ethan is just another sunken soul desiring to love and be loved. Thus, be a strong girl, and may cupid's touch bid your luck."

Unknowingly, my smile returned, as I stared in admiration at the boy who had suddenly become my good friend. Despite his young age, he still paints a picture of wisdom in the hearts of everyone he meets, and I was thankful that I got to meet him, too.

"Thank you." I asserted.

Then, without warning, he cocked his head to me and planted a small but long peck on my cheek. I knew that if I could see myself now, I would probably be flustered with a little red highlighting my cheeks.

Giving me a wink, he turned back to the dancing bodies and disappeared. Even though I was once again left alone, at the point of midway intoxication, I felt my resolve return, and I knew I was going to speak to Ethan, no matter what.

_________

I was seated on one of the couches in the studio as the party slowly dwindled. After our conversation, I dropped the alcohol and began strumming on my guitar, tuning both the people and the noise out. I wasn't sure Cupid was still in the building, but anyway, he could be in his car hanging out with some girl.

As I continued flexing my fingers over each string, attempting to find a tune to the lyrics slowly working in my mind, a shadow came up over me, and I looked up to see a red-head woman.

"Keji D, my name is Martha Blanes," she introduced, and almost immediately asked, "We would like to get a first-hand scoop on the rumors that you and Ethan McKenzie are over. How true is this?"

Her question took me aback, but only if I knew there were more coming. I would have stood up at that moment and disappeared.

From nowhere, several other people crowded around me, each bamboozling me with question after question.

"Rumors have it that Ethan called the wedding off, can you assert this?"

"Your relationship with hot-shot Ethan McKenzie's on the way to shit-town, isn't it?"

"Ms. Keji, can you clarify that your relationship with Ethan is going downhill? What are your comments on this?"

Though I was used to paparazzi enveloping me in their crowds, I was too white-faced and tongue-tied to react to this, and simply stared at them. From my frozen eyes, I watched as Dandelion, Trials, and some security guards rushed toward us, dispersing the crowd and forcing the paparazzi out of the room.

Yet, I remained frozen.

"Keji, are you okay?"

From the distance, I heard Tina's voice and turning my head, I saw that she was beside me, with concern vivid on her face.

"I'm fine," I said. "I'm okay."

Though I was the opposite of okay, I could only tell them all that I was good. I was strong, wasn't I? I'm Keji and such silly things like this can't rile me.

I can't be imperfect. I am Keji D, aren't I?

________

After the paparazzi's break-in, the party only lasted a few more minutes before we decided to leave. We all trotted to Dan's limo and were soon on our way to my hotel, where I will be dropped off to rest and overcome the hangover that will accompany our wild celebration.

However, as all these went on, I was trapped in the walls of my mind.

Somehow, I knew that the paparazzi were right to make their assumptions. Technically, mine and Ethan's relationship, if there ever was one, was heading to shit-town. Even though I kept telling myself that I was alright and just needed to clarify everything with Ethan, and probably cry and beg, then everything will be okay.

I turned my phone on and proceeded to the dialer to call Ethan, but I couldn't. Thus, I closed the phone and returned it to my bag. Across, I saw that Tina kept her eyes on me, but I avoided her gaze and stared out the window.

I knew she was concerned, but I didn't need her to be.

I messed everything up myself, thus I don't need to drag anyone into my pity party.

_______

After retiring to my room, I sat beside the window and stared into the moonlit night. My phone was in my hand, but I hadn't summoned up the courage to contact him. My eyes wandered away from the glittering night view to the documents scattered on my bed, and as if slapped with the reality of my situation, my heart panged.

Get yourself together, Keji. Just reach out to him. He said he cared for you didn't he?

I sighed. Taking the phone back to the reach of my fingers, I started to type:

"You can't possibly leave me, can you? I know I misjudged you but..."

Then, I clicked the backspace and wiped the draft.

I can't do this.

The pain in me was too much for me to bear. Why does it hurt so much? Why does it seem as though I'm not going to get through this?

Yes, the world would eventually find out that Ethan and I aren't good anymore. Yes, my friends would be disappointed to learn that I was heading into a contract marriage with him.

Yes, the wedding is coming up in just a few days.

And, yes, I cannot proceed with it.

I knew that since I couldn't undo my wrongs, or get myself to try to - damning the strong probability that he would reject me, I had to get away from everything. From Ethan, from the public, from the paparazzi, from my perfect friends, and the famous Keji D.

I can't do this anymore, and I definitely cannot betray my parents by ending my pitiful life, no matter how tempting that sounds.

I just can't.

With a final push, I picked up my phone and typed.

"I'm sorry, Ethan, I truly am. I'm sorry I misjudged you. I'm sorry I believed the rumors about you. I'm sorry I took your words for granted. I'm sorry I took your love for a game. But, I am most sorry for hurting you."

I paused, recalling the times we spent together. Even though all that was on my mind was to win in whatever game he was playing, I genuinely enjoyed being with him. I smiled as the memories poured in, closing up with the memories of my parents.

I recalled the night my parents were stolen from me. It was a quiet night, too quiet, I could almost ascertain that nature was warning me of the impending doom. But, what was I, a young five-year-old child to make of the signs

My parents were so in love. I never saw them exchange words, and they made life seem like a fairytale. We were the perfect family, I, momma, and dada. Nothing ever went wrong, never, until that night...

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