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Emotions are truly funny, with the way each spurns out spontaneously, without warning. What right does the heart have to go against what the mind says? Confluence with oneself is the greatest war that could ever exist.

My eyes were wide awake as I stared into the nothingness ahead. The room was dark because I had turned the lamps off, hoping I would sleep. However, here I was, at one in the morning, thinking of very stupid thoughts.

Yes, stupid. If not, what would I call this enigmatic feeling ballooning my chest?

My phone vibrated, and I threw a small glance at it, but sighed and returned my gaze in affront.

What on earth was wrong with me? Where did all those self-affirmations disperse to? Where was my thick-headedness now, when I need it the most?

Frustrated, I drilled my fingers into my hair.

I needed to get calm. I needed to get the booze.

Without sparing another thought, I stood from the bed and threw on spandex pants and a blue tube top. I grabbed my keys and was soon out of the room. Blindly, I dragged myself to the bar, and fortunately, it was still open.

"A bottle of vodka, please."

The bartender wasted no time in serving me a bottle and a glass. 

Ignoring the glass, I grabbed the bottle, and took a quick gulp, almost regretting it, as a sharp taste of bitter lemon and black pepper melted into my throat.

"Ugh...what is this?"

But, without allowing the bartender to answer, I took another gulp, and this time around, my body was ready for it. 

Seconds turned into minutes, and minutes into several more minutes, until I lost track of time and the number of bottles. All I was aware of was the cloudy feeling I had in my head.

It felt as though I was floating, free as a bird, standing high and powerful above everything and everyone, it was a very pleasant feeling that seemed to never end.

Well, almost perfect, until a strong and gripped mine, forcing the bottle from my hand. Pissed, I turned on the stool to hit whoever it was, and through my dilated vision, I could make out...Ethan.

"Keji, you've had enough."

I stared at him for a while, before I laughed.

"Enough?" I asked, and chuckled myself. "You think this is enough?"

I could hardly see him, but somehow, I knew he remained the serious mogul he always is.

"We've got to get you to your room," He said, attempting to hoist me to my feet, but I pushed him back, however, his grip remained hard on me, or alternatively, my push was paper-light.

Successfully, he carried me over his shoulders, and I chuckled as we stepped out of the bar. My eyes were slowly drowsing off, but I kept my eyes partly open. The air outside was chilled and refreshing, and somehow, I didn't want to go back into the stuffiness.

"Hey, E-than. Drop me, now."

I listened but got no reply, as he kept on walking.

"Can't you hear me, stickweed?"

Yet, again, he ignored me.

With my patience all flying away, I began to hit him on his back, repeatedly, continually, without stopping, until he snapped.

"Cut it off, will ya?"

However, instead of stopping, I increased my tempo and began yelling.

"LET ME GO!"

This worked as Ethan finally dropped me. On touching the ground, I immediately felt lightheaded, but I staggered back to balance.

"You are spent, Keji. You need to lay down." Ethan said.

"You don't know that," I countered as I turned away from him, and spread my arms wide, hoping to embrace the cool wind of the sunrise.

"I know that Keji, and I mean it. You need to return to your room."

"Pfft." I hissed and turned to him. "What are you even doing here?" I managed to stutter out.

"I'm here to get you to stop hurting yourself," Ethan said, and reached for my hands, but I prevented him by slapping his hands away from me, as a fit of unknown anger gushed through me.

"Who do you think you are to come here and try to stop me from hurting myself?"

Ethan persisted. "It's the alcohol talking, Keji. Let's get you to bed."

But I wasn't going to let it be. I could not allow myself to get hurt and at the same time, keep smiling at the villain behind my pains.

"You. Don't. Get. To. Save. Me." I spelled out, ensuring I got all the anger out from me. "You are a lying son of a bit-..."

He looked confused. "Keji?"

"How dare you play with my emotions, young sire?" 

I laughed.

"I get it, okay? You saw a gullible girl, and decided, why not ruin her life and then get back to being with sweet wifey and precious sonny?"

"What the devil are you talking about, Keji?"

I grimaced. "Oh."

I walked to him, until our noses were almost touching, and said, "What about your wife, Carissa, and the young Shawn?"

Ethan took a step back as he raised his palm to rub his forehead.

"You've got it all wrong, Keji."

"I did not," I tried to say, but suddenly became dizzy.

Struggling to keep my consciousness, I stepped toward him, and said, "You don't get to make me love you and then break my heart because I will ensure I break you too."

Instantly, my vision became fuzzy, and even though I tried to keep awake, it was impossible. Unable to make sense of what was happening again, I took hold of something, but this slipped, and everything became black.

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