CHAPTER TEN
the joys of having roommates

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  AFTER A STRENUOUS TEN MINUTES OF detention, Remus didn't particularly want to come back to his dorm and instantly be hounded by his friends. What he really wants is to curl up with a book and shut off for the evening so he can actually get a decent night's sleep for once. Alas, he never seems to get what he wants.

  The first thing he sees is the dormitory looking as if a hurricane has blown through it. Most of the things, if not everything, in their collective wardrobes are draped over different chairs and parts of the floor, a sock having managed to land on top of the ceiling light. At least seven textbooks, some of them from subjects that none of the boys take, have been discarded on different surfaces around the room. Peter's drawer full of sweets is beginning to overflow onto the floorboards after too many late night trips to Honeydukes — in their defence, it's not stealing if they put the due money safely inside the till. Three of his roommates are congregating in the middle of the war zone and having a frantic discussion, Frank nowhere to be seen. Though amongst all this chaos, his own bed is still neatly made and inviting. He's sick of playing house elf for his friends, so he decides to patch the colossal mess for the time being and vegetate in his bed until his alarm goes off in the morning.

  Only, he doesn't get the chance.

  Sirius lets out a shrill scream when he spots him at the door. "Moony! Where the hell have you been?"

His curls are falling into his face, the crazed look of a madman in his eyes. He's wearing a Tutshill Tornadoes top that Remus is sure belongs to James, who's appearing just as frazzled with his glasses askew and dark hair in a frenzy. Peter is standing in between them unsurely as he's probably been roped into whatever melodrama they've cooked up this time.

  Remus frowns. "Why? What have you done?"

  "What have we done?" James exclaims, hands on his hips like a disapproving parent. "We've been watching you on the map, young man. You have some explaining to do."

  Remus groans. He crosses the threshold, loosening his tie and promptly face planting on his bed. He says something snarky but his voice is muffled by his pillow.

  Sirius puts his hand up to his ear imploringly. "Didn't quite catch that."

  "Sorry, remind me again," Remus says, shifting to sit up against his headboard, "what is this about, exactly?"

  "We've been following you on the map," Peter reminds him helpfully.

  "Cheers, Wormtail. One more time. Why?"

  "Don't act so innocent," James says, a waspish edge to his voice. "You know exactly what we're on about."

  Remus stares at him in disbelief. "Do I?"

  "Of course you do. I mean, showing our secret passageways to strangers! More importantly, to girls!" he chokes out, hiding his face in Sirius' shoulder. "Honestly, Moony, I can't even look at you."

  "Traitor," Sirius coughs into his hand, clearing his throat with faux surprise.

  He sighs. "Oh, please grow up sometime soon, Pads. Is that really what this is about?"

  "We're wounded, y'know," Peter pipes up, arms folded.

  James points at him. "What he said!"

  "Lads, let's be reasonable—"

  "Reasonable? You should've thought about that before you betrayed us. You and one Cove Henderson, might I add."

  "What do you have against Cove? Also, betrayed is a bit extreme—"

  "No, I wouldn't say it is, Moony," James scoffs. "Why couldn't you follow my example? I've never so much as breathed a word about any of our secrets to Lily and you know that fine well."

  "Maybe because she doesn't like you?"

  "Oh, low blow," he murmurs. "And for your information, I'm working on it."

  "Yeah, sorry, mate," Remus apologises. "Felt wrong after I'd said it. I didn't mean it."

  "Nah, that's alright— No! I take that back. We're supposed to be very cross with you. Stop making me forgive you."

  Guilt gnaws at Peter's heart. "I dunno, guys. I think he's sorry..."

  "Don't let him mislead you, Wormy!" Sirius cries, throwing an arm around him. "We can't lose you to his deception."

  "Listen," Remus says gravely. "In my defence, I had to show her to get us out of detention. She's also really lovely and I wasn't about to let her get lectured by our cow of a teacher for no apparent reason. She doesn't deserve that. I dunno, is that not part of our moral code?"

  He's met with silence.

  "Well, why didn't you just say that in the first place?" James replies brightly, perking up significantly. "This changes everything."

  Remus is instantly suspicious. "Hold on. Why have you had a change of heart? You're up to something."

  Sirius skelps him on the back of his head playfully. "No, Remus, not at all. You see, we've just noticed that someone's come down with an awful case of the love bug."

  "You're awful."

  "Quick, everyone!" James announces. "Hide! He's contagious!"

  "Our little Moony finally has someone. He's growing up so fast."

  He scoffs. "Puh-lease, you're only a few months older."

  "Cove is really nice Remus," Peter chirps. "We don't blame you for fancying her."

  Remus can't help but laugh. "You're so mean to me. I don't fancy her. We're only friends."

  "Liar!" Sirius squawks.

"Aw, you totally fancy her," Peter cloys.

"Look, he's blushing," James teases.

"That's it—"

James shrieks, leaping over Sirius' bed and sprinting away from Remus as he lunges at him. He narrowly dodges a stray trunk in the middle of the room, skidding over a discarded chocolate frog box and almost going flying into the wall. When Remus gets too close, he shoves him into a Bowie poster on the wall and makes a quick getaway to the other side of the room, using Peter as his shield. They mirror each other, dodging from side to side until James finally breaks away and starts running away from him all over again.

"Get away from me! I'm too young to die!"

"Come back here—"

  "Y'know, you're only angry cause it's true."

  "Don't start, Padfoot. You're next!"

  Frank opens the door to see them all chasing each other in circles all around the dorm, took a quick look at the state of the place, and promptly walks back down the stairs.

author's note!

why did nobody ever tell me how fun it is to write the marauders

this is more of a silly little filler chapter while i cook up something better for the next one lmao 😭 hope u enjoyed nonetheless