Lainie has already told you that she and I were at the Dark Park High School together, but we didn't become friends until I joined the Spite Club  .After a while we started going to each other's house and hanging out, mostly at mine though, cos there's more room and privacy. Lainie's house was totally crazy. Lainie's dad was often working up on the Moomba gas fields, for two or three weeks at a time, but there was always Lainie's mum and four other kids at home in one very small house. There were two older brothers, Lawrie and Lex who didn't seem to work, but who both played football for the Dark Park Demons and two younger children; the twins Lenny and Lola who were twelve.

I forgot, one of the older brothers did work in some chicken factory. He worked part-time though, which in Scrubber-Town language means hardly ever, because the person takes so many sick days.Still,I kind of think that I might have called in sick too if I'd had to work in a chicken factory. Yuck!

Lainie's mum worked for a phone-sex company, so she could be home, especially for the younger kids.Whenever I visited she'd be talking on the phone and her conversations often mingled with whatever drama was going on in her house at the time.

For example: 'Move ya fat bum, you lazy lout', or; 'Get your own toasted sandwich. You a cripple or something?' 

Then: 'No luv, I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to my couch-potato son'.

And 'No, I haven't got a 'bun in the oven' luv; I'm trying to get Lainie to take the chicken nuggets out of the oven. You deaf or something, Lainie?'

It was so funny, but somehow the clients seemed to like  Lainie's mum's kitchen banter, cos they used to specially request her. They'd also give out advice to her about how to handle her kids, so it actually worked pretty well for her. Fair exchange and stuff.

Also, Lainie's house was totally a mess. Sorry, Lainie, but she knows it's true. You'd like trip over stuff as you came in the front door and the chairs were piled high with clothes, junk-mail and beer and soft-drink cans, so there was nowhere to sit. Lawrie and Lex, Lola and Lenny also used to fight over the T.V or game console, so things were pretty rowdy.

Back to the Spite-Club,though. One day when Lainie and I were at a meeting, Mandi Mason, the Spite-Club leader, said she was going to take small groups of us to the city malls to show us how to shop-lift properly and she wanted to start with Lainie, me and another girl called Tash. No-one ever argued with Mandi, cos she's so big and solid-sort of like a bull. Totally scary!  Lainie and I had only shop-lifted once before(separately) and it freaked us both out. Actually, Lainie  just reminded me that she shop-lifted twice and the second time almost got caught.  She managed to slip out  just before the cops came ambling in and  she even gave them the finger as she ran off. Anyway,when Mandi said we had to come along or she'd punch our lights out, we believed her, because that's the sort of thing she does, carries out her threats.

We arrived in the city and headed for the first mall; then Mandi saw some people she wanted to avoid, i.e.the police and so we went to the next mall.

Lainie and I were trailing behind Mandi and Tash, when Lainie came to a sudden stop and pulled me into the booth of a nearby dimly-lit coffee shop, before Mandi had a chance to see.

'Let's not do this anymore'Janie, she said. 'Let's not shop-lift or be in the Spite-Club anymore'. We can like sit here and have a 'Spider' (this is one of our favourite drinks when we're not having vodka or other alcohol) and watch what happens.

I was only too happy to agree and so that's what we did. From where we sat in our concealed booth, we had a bird's-eye view of the mall and the clothes store that Mandi and Tash were headed for.

Not only did Mandi not notice we were missing, but she also failed to notice the cameras looming up on all sides of the  shop walls. Mandi isn't very bright; Dr.Una tells us she has'tunnel vision'. We're not quite sure what that means, except maybe that Mandi doesn't stop to think. Anyway it wasn't long before Mandi and Tash were confronted by angry staff and the cops were called. We could hear Mandi ranting all over the mall that she hadn't touched a thing and to get the bleep out of her way. She had though; we'd seen her with our own eyes. Everyone in the mall stopped to stare and the event attracted quite a crowd.

To cut a long story short, we saw Mandi hauled off by the cops. She was screaming and swearing:

'You mongrel pigs, this is harassment. Go and get the other three bitches, they were in on it too!' 'Mongrel pigs'.

'Lying again, Mandi' said one of the police. 'You're not doing yourself any favours.'  The cops know Mandi well.

Later we heard that Tash just got off with a warning, as it was her first offence, but Mandi had to go to the Dark Park Detention Centre for a few months, where she caused no end of problems for the staff and other inmates. Apparently, she insisted her mother bring her packets and packets of Yo-Yo-biscuits, which she'd sit around eating, getting fatter and fatter. She'd only share with her jail friends, but there's not many of those.

Lainie and I left the Spite-Club for good and took up new jobs at the Scrubber-Town make-up store, War Paint and of course became roving reporters for Dr.Una on the Scrubber-Town Saga Magazine.  Dr. Una also helped us get our jobs at 'War Paint'.  Lainie used to work as a casual at Phil's Pills Pharmacy and I hadn't worked at all.  We quite like what we're doing now and Dr. Una says we've come a long way. I suppose we have, but we don't want you all thinking we've become 'goody-goodies'. We still both like smoking weed (well, Lainie does; I cough and splutter too much)and drinking Vodka Cruisers and Bubbly and pushing the limits at work.e.g taking extended lunch and morning tea breaks and sometimes coming to work hung-over. Just as well we're good at our jobs or Marissa, our boss, would sack us pronto.

We hear that Mandi is 'coming to get us' when she gets out of the Dark Park Detention Centre. Her friend and deputy-leader, Sandy ,took great pleasure in telling us. Dr.Una has told us not to worry, cos she'll make sure we have help to get A.V.O's out on Mandi. Dr. Una can be awesome sometimes.

See yah and luv yah,

Janie.xx

P.S. Things for youse to look up on'Google'. Yo-Yo biscuits ( in Oz we say biccies) We're guessing youse don't have Yo-Yo biccies where youse live. They're awesome and everybody loves them.  They're nearly as popular as Tim-Tams, but not quite.

P.P.S. Next letter, we'll tell you about Dr. Una Abels.  We're writing staff profiles, so's youse can all get to know the staff at Scrubber-Town.

Don't you love Lainie's photo? She's wearing those funky glasses and she's dyed her hair purple. She's far more likely to wear out there fashion. She's very experimental, but she's taught me to be more daring too, and it's fun.