"i think i'm gonna go to his place today."

taehyung missed jungkook.

he missed him a lot.

he had been agonizing over texting him again or calling, but now he figured he should just visit him in person and make sure everything was okay.

"tae, remember what i said? give the boy some space."

"i know, but we need to know the plan for court tomorrow, anyways, right? don't you think it's weird they didn't text back? i should at least go check on him and ask what's going on."

yoongi sighed.

"yeah, i guess it's a little weird. hoseok's home with joon, though, so i'm sure he's fine. but you should go check on jungkook."

"okay. i'm gonna go now," tae said, hopping off the couch.

"okay. i probably won't be here when you get back."

"...where are you going?"

"nowhere important."

"yoongi, tell me."

"i..."

"spit it out."

"i just... i think i'm gonna go see my mom."

"wait what? your mom? you haven't seen her in like two years."

"i know. that's why i'm gonna go see her."

"i thought you guys weren't really... on the best terms."

"well... we're not. i think she's just confused with how to deal with me, you know? i never really came out to her officially. i'm sure that's confusing. like... i'm sure she probably has an idea about it... but i never actually told her. it's probably hard for her to come to terms with it if i never told her myself. we just don't communicate well with each other and i think we need to."

"didn't you tell me that she's homophobic? isn't that why i never met her when we were dating?"

"well... i think she is. but... she's still my mom. i love her. maybe if i told her how i really feel about hoseok- how much he means to me... maybe she'd understand or... at least accept it."

"it's worth a shot, i guess. i mean... how bad could it go? she's you're mom for god sakes."

"yeah. i probably won't be back until later, though, since it's a two hour drive to her house."

"okay, i'll see you later, then. good luck," tae said, running out the door to go find jungkook.

-

taehyung was outside of jungkook's door, waiting nervously. he rang the doorbell and waited for a few seconds.

a smile immediately broke out on his face when he saw jungkook open the door.

"kookie," he said, smiling.

jungkook looked happy at first, then it was immediately replaced with distress.

"h-hi. what's up?" jungkook asked, staring at him through the half opened door, not inviting him in.

"well... i just wanted to make sure you were okay. and... also ask about tomorrow. you and hoseok never responded to our texts."

jungkook just sighed, trying not to feel bad for blowing the boy off. he needed to remember why he was upset in the first place.

tae had kissed yoongi.

thinking about when he walked in and saw them together on the couch- it made being upset with taehyung so much easier.

"sorry," jungkook said, blankly.

"oh... it's fine. me and yoongi were just wondering if we should come pick you guys up tomorrow or if we should meet you th-"

"no."

"no?"

"... me and hoseok... we think it's better if we just do it alone. you guys really don't need to come."

tae just looked at him, his lips parting slightly.

"what? why? we want to be there for you guys."

"i know... it's just better if we do it alone."

jungkook looked broken. he wanted taehyung there, he really did. but he knew he was going to have to say he wasn't raped and he couldn't bare taehyung there listening. hearing him say that they... dated. it was humiliating. and on top of everything else, he knew tae still had feelings for yoongi. he knew tae didn't really have feelings for him and he needed to move on.

"jungkook, i would never judge you. you know that, right? if there's something i don't know-"

"it's not that," jungkook said, tears coming to his eyes.

he wanted to tell tae what had happened with jimin. he wanted to tell him everything and make up, but he knew it was a bad idea.

"i just need some space. me and hobi need to get through this without any... distractions," jungkook said, looking down.

tae took a step back, suddenly looking upset.

"distractions?"

"...i didn't mean it like that... i just-"

"what? you just what?"

jungkook looked up, a bit taken aback by tae's sudden change in attitude, more tears welling up in his eyes.

"i just... i've been trying to deal with some stuff lately and it's-"

"you think you're the only person in this world who has shit to deal with, jungkook? you think i haven't been through stuff?" tae asked, clearly upset.

"no, tae, that's not what i'm-"

"don't call me tae," he said, pissed off, "i've tried so hard to help you and you just push me away, every fucking time. i get you've had to deal with stuff but that doesn't give you the right to treat me like your fucking door mat. i'm not just gonna be your little toy that you play with when you're bored. i don't have time for that shit."

jungkook just looked up at him, reluctantly letting a few tears fall. he didn't even know what to say.

"now you're just gonna cry and expect me to forgive you?"

jungkook looked up at tae, angrily, tears still streaming down his face.

he knew tae had a right to be upset, but so did he.

"i think you should go."

"go? really?" tae asked, almost in a sarcastic way, clearly pissed off.

"yes. now."

taehyung just laughed slightly, rolling his eyes.

"alright. just don't expect me to come crawling back next time. you won't have anyone checking up on you twenty-four seven anymore."

"fine by me."

taehyung just met eyes with jungkook, giving him one last look.

jungkook knew tae was mad, but somewhere in him, he could sense the sadness in his eyes. it was almost like he wanted jungkook to beg for forgiveness and tell him not to go.

but jungkook didn't.

he didn't say anything at all.

he just watched as the boy he cared so deeply for walk away from him.

and a part of his heart went with him.

-

"mom, it's me!" yoongi shouted, after knocking on the door for a couple minutes.

a few more seconds past, until he heard the click of the door unlocking.

it swung open and yoongi was immediately hit with anxiety.

he didn't think he'd be nervous. it was his mom, after all, but not seeing her in person for almost two years made the atmosphere fill with a weird tension.

"yoongi," his mom said, clearly shocked to see him.

"hey, mom," he said, trying his best to put on a genuine smile.

his mom couldn't wipe the utterly shocked look off of her face.

"what are you doing here?"

yoongi looked down at his feet and then back up.

he had almost forgot how... 'sweet' his mom was.

"you could at least pretend you're happy to see me."

his mom immediately replaced her shocked look with a smile- that yoongi could clearly tell was fake.

"you just surprised me, yoongi. come on in," she said, motioning him inside and closing the door behind him.

-

his mom made the two of them some tea and they settled on the couch.

"so... how have you been?" yoongi asked, taking a sip of his drink.

"i've been okay."

"... that's... good."

there was a bit of an awkward silence, yoongi trying to think of something to say.

"how about you?" his mom asked.

yoongi was honestly shocked his mom was asking how he was. there wasn't a time in is life where he remembered his mom giving a shit about how he was doing.

"i've... i've been good. great, actually."

"oh, yeah? why is that?" she asked.

yoongi sighed, wondering why his mom couldn't just be happy for him.

"i.. i've sort of been seeing someone."

"have you?"

"well... sort of. we're not really official yet, but-"

"yoongi, where is this going?"

yoongi sighed, deciding to just spit it out.

"i have to tell you something. you might already know, but-"

"what?"

"i..."

yoongi stopped, thinking about if he really wanted to tell her.

he decided to just say it. he needed to be honest with who he was. he didn't want to hold himself back anymore.

"i'm..," he said, feeling nervous, "i'm... gay."

yoongi had never been embarrassed to say it before, but for some reason he felt weird saying it to his mom. she had a certain way of making him feel like shit about himself.

he waited for a response, but his mom just looked at him.

"jesus fucking christ, yoongi, don't you think i know that? i'm your mom."

yoongi looked up at her, a bit taken aback.

"so... you don't mind, then?"

she just rolled her eyes, shaking her head.

"mom, i'm serious. i met this guy and he's... he's perfect. he's everything i've ever wanted. i came all the way here to tell you that- to get your approval," yoongi said, "please."

she just rolled her eyes once again, looking over to the boy.

"i honestly don't care who you're fucking, yoongi. i never have. i just hope you know you're never going to be loved properly. things like that... unnatural things. it just won't work out."

yoongi just sat there, the hopeful look on his face completely melting at her words.

he thought about getting up and leaving, but he just couldn't. he wanted her to know how he truly felt.

"i think..," yoongi stopped, shaking his head.

a few tears slipped out unexpectedly, just wishing his mom could understand.

"i love him."

his mom just stared at him, with a judging look spread across her face.

"... that's not love, yoongi. maybe one day you'll understand that."

yoongi was fuming with anger, but for some reason he wasn't yelling or fighting.

he was just crying.

a lot.

he didn't know why he had let himself have so much hope in the first place.

he didn't know why he let himself believe that his mom could ever understand him.

eventually his mom broke eye contact with him and grabbed their mugs- still partially full with tea.

"i think it would be best if you leave. you can come back when you stop acting like a damn poofter. honestly, it's just embarrassing."

yoongi looked up at her. he didn't understand how a human being could treat another human so terribly.

he wiped the tears off his face and quickly stood up, heading for the door. he opened it- and before walking out, he turned around one last time, seeing his mom still standing there.

"you won't ever see me again," he said, walking out the door and slamming it behind him.

_______________________________

yeet we on day 737829946729 of quarantine and my dumbass decided to cut my hair💀

also i fell asleep for the last two concerts of bangbangcon d2 and i hate myself 😤 i tried so hard to watch all of it but i was literally running on like two hours of sleep lmao.

(also idk if y'all have seen the movie rocketman, but yoongi's mom is hella inspired by the mom in that HSHSHS)