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chapter eight ━ holidaze (part two)
season six, episode ten

❝ it's freaking christmas! ❞

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CHRISTMAS EVE
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Four days after Thanksgiving, Aliya didn't leave the hospital. Her dress was folded neatly into her cubby, her coat slung across the bench carelessly, and she burned through six pairs of scrubs after various incidents involving traumas and blood gushing out of open abdominal wounds.

The nurses gossiped about her (in a worried, caring way rather than the usual), speculating reasons as to why she hadn't gone home yet, and if she was finally going mad. The other surgeons were wary when she was on their service, her regular sunny attitude was suppressed by her a new, blunt attitude they did not like.

She didn't really enjoy it either, but this was what she was working with today.

Everyone watched her from afar on the fourth day and it came to a point where Alex and Meredith came to get her from the hospital on their day off, practically dragging her out of there.

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THE LOBBY
seattle grace mercy west
( three days after thanksgiving )
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"She needs to go home." Meredith commented, observing Aliya cautiously as she snapped, rather out of character, at an intern for not drawing blood properly out of a patients arm.

"No, she doesn't. Leave her here. I like Aliya when she's pissed and bitchy." Cristina replied, smiling over at the brunette who was now condescendingly demonstrating how to draw blood by drawing on the back of an old chart in black and red biro pen.

"She's pissed because her whole family are lunatics." Alex stated, raising his head to study his friend closer. "Believe me, I was there. She's the only normal Levine."

"Mommy issues are brutal." Meredith stated, empathising with Aliya who was now making her way over to them, her face tensed with anger. The three were pretty sure she had made the wide eyed intern cry.

He was now no longer to be seen.

They didn't even see his scurry away.

"Interns." The brunette scoffed deeply, grabbing a chart off of the desk. "They get worse every year. We weren't that bad were we?" She stared down at the chart with a shaking head, scribbling angrily onto it with so much force she began to cut through the pages, making the other three residents agree with her instantly.

Because, who knows what would happen if they disagreed.

"They're just so whiny! I mean god!" Aliya rolled her eyes, looking back over her shoulder where all of a sudden, a group of five or six nurses were gathered, whispering and pointedly watching her carefully, as if she were a rabid wild animal. "What are you even looking at, huh? What's so fascinating? 'Cause I really want to know!"

"Uh—" Meredith cleared her throat, trying to subtly shoo them away. "They're not looking at you, they're looking at— uh—"

"Alex! He's man-whoring his was through all of the nurses. It's sick." The Yang woman scoffed in disgust, casting a look at the innocent Karev man.

He cleared his throat, eyes darting all over the place. "It's true."

He gulped, which made Aliya believe he meant the opposite.

"Hm—" Aliya murmured with pursed lips, sceptical.

"Jeez—" Jackson narrowed his eyes as he tried to manoeuvre through the ever growing posse of people, here to study the brunette as if she belonged in the psych ward. "Ah— Levine! Made anyone cry today?"

Jackson, on the other hand, may be concerned about this whole personality change, however he couldn't deny the fact of how entertaining it was.

It was now day three, and each day he had taken a mental note of how many people Aliya had brought to tears.

"Sadly, no." Aliya frowned, casting a look towards the clock fixed on the wall. "But, it's only nine am."

"Aren't you just a ray of sunshine?" The Avery man grinned, teasingly, disappearing away with his charts in a flurry.

"Actually, honey—" Andy appeared behind her, a hand placed warmly on her shoulder. "I just found an intern in the supply closet crying because of you, I wanted to talk to you about—"

"Don't be ridiculous." She scoffed, before leaving the group, pushing past the posse of people judging her. "Crying about me? Pfft."

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CHRISTMAS EVE
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The invasion of orange was now long gone.

Everybody had gotten used to the new staff, and found a rhythm that Aliya had grown to enjoy. She even enjoyed interacting with them. They chatted with her in the nurses station, and even told her that Mark had a daughter show up out of the blue, which led to Aliya choking on the cookies they fed her.

Apparently a girl named Sloan Riley came to the ER on Thanksgiving when Aliya was in LA, claiming Mark was her dad which stirred the whole hospital up into a tornado of bottomless gossip.

That was a month ago now, and Aliya resolved that she wouldn't let her Thanksgiving ruin her Christmas, seeing as it was her favourite time of year.

She loved everything about it from the desserts, to the decorations, to the traditions. She loved putting up the decorations, and her and Izzie insisted every year that they enter the neighbourhood Christmas House competition, which Mer would refuse, but the two women would do anyway much to the dirty blonde's disapproval.

However, this time around, Mer didn't even try and refuse this year, and Aliya knew it was for pity but, she decided it was for the good of mankind to get one positive thing out of being sad.

"That asshole Meryl from down the road isn't gonna win this year." Aliya conspired, reminiscent of a cartoon villain. "Ha! I'll make sure of it."

Aliya adjusted the wire snowman on the lawn, fixing the cable so it was partially out of sight, hidden under the fake snow.

Meredith stood with Alex and Derek on the porch, watching Aliya as she scuttered about the snow-covered grass, winding lights around the bush with her glasses propped on her nose.

Alex watched his best friend in amusement. "She belongs on a documentary or something."

"Or in the psych ward." Derek added, watching Aliya through narrowed, cautious eyes.

"Leave her alone, she's—" Mer paused for a moment, racking her brain around for the right word to use. "She's coping. She's coping well."

"She's turned the lawn into Santa's freaking grotto." Derek muttered, watching the brunette as her foot proceeded to get caught around a reindeer.

"Well, if that's what it takes." Meredith tore her eyes away from the monstrosity her yard had turned into, moving back inside the house, away from the stench of the fake snow.

"Hey, Derek!" Aliya poked her head from behind a bush, noticing the two men watching her on the porch. "Come help me, will you?" She turned back to where she was wrapping lights around.

Correction.

Where she was struggling to wrap the lights around the bush.

"Oh man." Derek murmured, turning his head as he watched his wife close the door behind her.

"You're alone on this one." Alex snorted, slipping through the door after Meredith.

Derek sighed, digging his hands into his pockets as he walked slowly down the steps, as if prolonging time.

"Can you pass me those string lights." Aliya pointed to a tangled heap on the side walk.

"Why don't you just do it yourself?" Derek replied picking the lights up and giving them to her.

The brunette just shrugged wrapping them around the bush she was in with Derek's help.

"Thank you."

The neuro surgeon raised a brow. "You're stuck aren't you?"

"Very much so, yes." Aliya replied casually, adjusting the lights she just put up, seeing as she couldn't possibly do anything else.

Derek shook his head as he hobbled around the bush to help her. "Oh, for— how do you even get like this?"

"Well, the bush is kinda in the way." Aliya explained with a shrug, whilst simultaneously fixing the string lights in the bush, ignoring how her leg was currently tangled, the twigs digging into her blue jeans.

"Of course, they're always in the way." Derek reached Aliya's side, preparing to drag her ass out of the bush he was rather fond of.

Now, there was going to be an Aliya-shaped hole in it.

"Aliya, what the hell are you doing in a bush?" A woman in a dark grey car that just pulled up questioned, poking her head out of her car window.

Mae Park looked at her friend in complete and total confusion, her elegant black hair tied out of her face and into a bun on the top of her head.

Derek smiled tightly at the woman, tugging Aliya out the bush by her elbows.

"Mae!" Aliya hopped the rest of the way out, missing Derek's face with her foot by an inch, and Mae got up out of the car as Aliya ran into her arms, the pair jumping up and down as if they were back in High School. "When did you get back from New York?"

"Last night. Only temporary, I'll be gone before the New Year! I just came to close up a business deal in Seattle." Mae hugged her back, having to bend down a little seeing as she was much taller than Aliya.

"And, to see us because it pained you to be separated that long. The amount of restless nights you had were uncountable." Summer slammed the car door, making a fake sobbing sound. "So, Aliya, I don't get a hug?"

"I saw you yesterday. You are literally yesterday's news." Aliya informed whilst Summer looked at her in a mock-upset, striding around the car.

"What have you done to the lawn?" Summer looked out onto Aliya's handiwork in horror, her eyes wide as she took it in. See, she was the total opposite to her friend. Even when all three of them were kids, she had never really cared all that much for Christmas, she left all the celebrating down to Aliya, and she just bought the tequila.

"Hey!" Aliya defended, looking out at her masterpiece with pride.

"Tell me about it." Derek agreed, though his voice low in the hopes Aliya wouldn't be able to hear him. "Why don't you come inside, it's freezing."

"Oh! Yes!" Aliya clapped her hands, ushering the three of them into the house. "Come in, I need a coffee after that!"

"That needed to be done, I just spotted the blow up candy canes in that box over there." Derek pointed to Aliya's decoration box that was currently overflowing.

Mae pulled a disgusted look, being a woman owning a luxurious (and quite frankly minimalistic) lifestyle in New York opposite to Aliya's maximalist approach, the blow up candy canes were a step too far in her book.

So, the Park woman walked over to the boxes, picking them up and shoving them quickly into the boot of her car with the help from Summer.

"It's for her own good." She explained, wiping off her hands, and entering the house with the others.

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"Hm." Aliya mumbled as she meandered around the toy store with Mae and Summer trailing close behind her. "Do you think James would like this?" She asked, reaching for a hospital lego set.

"Wow." Summer stared at the lego, perplexed. "Drilling the 'surgeon is the only career' thing that soon?" The Vasquez woman laughed, picking up a set of farmyard animals and analysing it, intently.

"Crap, yeah." Aliya sighed, putting the toy back onto the shelf. "I didn't think of that, don't want to force the poor kid. How about this one? You can do anything in the park!" She held up the cardboard box.

"It's cute." Mae commented, her head in her phone.

"You didn't even look up." Aliya complained, tucking the lego underneath her arm as she decided on the park. And besides, she can help him set it up, which is even more fun for her that way.

"We are late Christmas shopping and I need to buy something for my brother, how about this watch?" Mae turned her phone around, showing a picture of a gold watch with a huge dark grey clock face.

"Not really his style. I'd go with silver." Aliya commented quickly, looking away from the phone and sifting through the picture books, picking up a few that looked interesting for her younger cousins.

"You know him so well." Summer mocked a sob, nudging her in the shoulder, teasingly.

"Shut up." Aliya muttered, now pretending to be really interested in the action figures.

"How long ago was it?" The Vasquez woman
teased with a wide grin on her face, reaching for a Barbie doll, the one with roller skates. "Eight? Nine years?"

Mae looked up from her phone for once. "Eleven? Wasn't it?"

"Thanks, Mae for your contribution there." Aliya commented as she manoeuvred through the pair as they began making obnoxious kissing noises like they did when they were fourteen.

"How long was the relationship?" Summer smiled, knowing she was frustrating the hell out of Aliya. "Two years?"

"A year and a half actually." Aliya corrected grimly, going on her tip toes to reach a Disney Princess makeup set from the highest shelf. "We were young. Ancient history. So, ancient it would be a module in an ancient history course." She defended, looking closely at the makeup set with narrowed eyes. "Maybe I should get this for Eliana, seeing as she always acts like a child."

"She would hate you forever, not like she already loves you." Summer pointed out and Aliya's jaw dropped to floor at the very harsh truth. Though, her friend really wasn't wrong about her and her sister not having the best sisterly bond. Or, any bond for that matter. "You're also changing the subject."

Aliya turned on her heel and descended further down another aisle, far away from the two reminders of her high school experiences. "Ex-boyfriend subjects are now off limits for the next twenty four hours, deal?"

"No! I need to get him something, or he's gonna murder me in my sleep! You know how stressed he gets at Christmas! I need help!" Mae pleaded, striding after her. "You knew him better! Think back to the time you loved him, before you broke his heart when you wanted to move away for college. He cried for months afterwards, you know."

Aliya stuck her tongue out at the unwanted guilt tripping, disappearing down an aisle.

"He's so difficult, Aliya! He buys himself everything he needs!" Mae started tapping aggressively into her phone, scowling as she continued scrolling through the fancy watch website.

Aliya mocked a sad face. "How unfortunate."

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"After sixteen years of friendship I still don't understanding how you can drink that." Mae stared at Aliya's to-go cup as she grasped it to warm up her hands, even though she was already wearing mittens Andy had knitted her for Christmas last year.

"It's the greatest thing in the world. I get it every year since I moved to Seattle." Aliya sipped it, savouring every peppermint coffee flavoured sip.

"I can back you up on some of your life choices, Aliya," Summer started as she received her drink — a soya milk cappuccino — from the barista. "But, this? No, that's horrific."

"More like horrendous." Mae added.

"More like terrific." Aliya corrected the pair, sipping happily and ignoring their comments of criticism as she savoured the taste of the best time of the year.

"Anyways," Mae began, changing the subject away from Aliya's taste in coffee. "I was thinking, next year—"

The sound of a loud, high-pitched scream interjected Mae's chatter, and Aliya's head whipped around the mall, scanning for the source of the noise.

"What the hell?" The brunette muttered, eyes narrowed.

"Help! Somebody help me please!"

Finally seeing where the screams were coming from, Aliya jogged over to the source of the noise — a herd of people clustered around a man, around fifty years old give or take, collapsed on the floor.

A young woman was perched by the side of him, potentially his daughter as Aliya deduced, crying as she tried to wake him up.

"Marty! Marty wake up!" The young woman pleaded, and Aliya passed her drink to a random stranger, pushing through the crowd.

"Excuse me, thanks, I'm a doctor. What happened?" Aliya crouched down by the other side of the man, looking at the woman with the bright bleached blonde hair, and dark green blood shot eyes. She sniffled as Aliya felt for a pulse.

"One minute we were talking and the next—" She whimpered into her palm. "He's going to be okay though, right?"

His pulse was weak, but there. And, as she reached over to check his pupils, Marty began seizing right before her eyes.

Aliya instantly grabbed him, pulling Marty to his side as he shook in her arms, spotting Mae and Summer push through the crowd, appearing next to her in a bundle of shopping bags and large, thick winter coats. "Mae! Call 911!"

Mae nodded, accepting the task as she pushed away from the crowd to get somewhere quieter, away from all the commotion.

"What's happening? Talk to me!" The blonde haired girl screamed.

"What's your name?" Aliya spoke as her arms began to rattle from holding the man steady.

"Theresa. But, everyone calls me Terry." Terry explained, rubbing her eyes as she began to sob.

"Okay, Terry. The ambulance is on it's way. I'm doing the best I can to ensure your—" Aliya pushed, not sure what to call him. Because, he definitely was not her father, Aliya had realised.

"I don't really know what he is. We haven't talked about that sort of stuff." Terry cried even harder, wiping her eyes with her sleeve.

Aliya gave a nod, not really knowing what to say exactly. "I need your jacket."

Terry pulled a face at Aliya's random request as she looked slowly at her seemingly very expensive jacket.

"Now!" Aliya snapped.

Terry took it off rather begrudgingly. "Okay."

"Now, put it under his head." Aliya ordered, and Terry did as she was told, however staring at the jacket with a sense of overwhelming grief. "Does he have a history of seizures?"

"Well, you see, he's kinda— my neighbour, my dad's friend. I don't know him very well. We only started dating, like, a month ago. His wife isn't a very nice lady, she's too uptight, so I guess Marty needed something better!" She chucked lightly to herself, half delirious, and Aliya had to keep herself busy, or her facial expression will say it all.

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Owen tied the top of his trauma gown as he jogged into the bay, Meredith following close behind as the ambulance pulled up in front of the hospital, the sirens stopping as it came to a stop. He grabbed the door, tugging it open.

"Levine?" Owen stammered, and Mer peered into the rig. The brunette in question snapped her head when she heard her name.

"He collapsed at the mall and started seizing. Lasted for about eight minutes." Aliya explained, hopping out of the ambulance to help get Marty out.

"Fifty six year old Martin Globerman, history of heart attacks, but that's it. No history of seizures." The paramedic handed Hunt the charts as Marty was wheeled into the ER.

"His— uh— girlfriend? Sugar baby? I don't even know. She's driving in her car behind." Aliya followed them into the room, shrugging off her jacket, and placing it on the ER's front desk, leaving her wearing a baggy red, incredibly festive Christmas jumper and jeans.

"Sugar baby?" Meredith smirked as the trio breezed through the corridor towards Trauma two.

"Sugar baby." Aliya confirmed with a wide grin, seeing as Terry wanted to drive the car Marty had bought for her, just in case it was stolen.

"Levine, check his pupils." Owen ordered, handing her a flashlight while he and Meredith unstrapped Marty from the gurney. She clicked it on, opening his eyelids with one hand and shining the torch into Marty's eye with the other.

"Pupils are asymmetrical." Aliya concluded, switching the flashlight off.

"Okay, somebody page neu—" The trauma surgeon began, but within an instant Marty began seizing again.

This time, however, his clenched knuckle collided with Aliya's cheek and nose, causing her to stumble back into the trolley behind.

"Aliya!" Meredith exclaimed, helping Owen in an attempt to stop Marty's seizure, though quickly craning her neck to where Aliya was crouched on the floor, a puddle of blood forming on the tiles in front of her.

"Levine! Are you alright?" Owen called out, spotting the woman's hand waving in the air.

"I'm fine!" She replied through gritted teeth as she tasted the metallic of blood on her lips. She pulled herself up from the floor with one hand on her bloody face, her side stinging from the impact.

"Are you sure?" Meredith looked at her friend, whose cheek was covered in a bright red blush, a cut on it from where Marty's ring had scraped across her skin, in addition to her nose bleeding down her face, causing the crimson to stain her lips.

Anyone would have thought it was Halloween, not Christmas.

Aliya stumbled her way to the door, slowly, giving a thumbs up as she moved. "I'll go page neuro."

"Wait, Levine." Marty had finally stopped seizing and she turned back, watching Owen as he analysed her. "Go get checked out, that looks pretty bad."

"Thanks." Aliya grimaced from the sensation, cringing seeing as she could physically feel the blood streaming down her neck.

The Levine woman pushed her way out of the trauma room clutching her nose, and it was as if her whole world was tilted on her axis. Her gravity shifted, and she tried to walk straight to the front desk but, instead began walking at an angle as though she had drank too much eggnog and festive punch.

Aliya tapped on the desk she had finally reached, slumping over it. "Hi, Andy, please could you page neuro to trauma two–"

"Aliya!" The Nurse shot up from the seat at the desk, grabbing a handful of tissues and thrusting them towards Aliya's very bloodied and banged up nose. "What happened to you?"

She breathed through the kleenex, some of it coming off and into her mouth rather disgustingly.

"Took a left hook to the nose." Aliya winced as she tried to stop the nose bleed. "Marty started seizing— complete accident, I'm fine."

Andy sighed, her voice wavering with worry which she tried to suppress. "Did you say page neuro?" Aliya nodded, disposing of the tissues and grabbing clean, fresh ones. "Where do you think you're going?"

"To get cleaned up?" Aliya paused from where she was beginning to exit the ER to find the nearest bathrooom.

"You can't do that yourself, you're shaking!" Andy urged, though Aliya protested. "And, it's going to be like Hansel and Gretel in here, but with blood! You're dripping blood everywhere, and the cleaners are going to be pissed if they have to follow your trail!"

"Levine, what happened to you?" Cristina breezed out of trauma one with Teddy and Jackson following close behind, their faces expressing the same concerned glance over at the brunette, now her tissues were more red than their original bright white colour.

"She got punched in the face!" Andy moved from behind the desk, more tissues in her hand as she pressed them on Aliya's nose, so no one could even see her face anymore. She was completely hidden by a mound of tissues.

Jackson knotted his brows together. "By who—"

"Dr. Altman," Andy glanced toward the cardio goddess. "Do you mind lending one of your residents to help clean her up? She can't do it by herself, and I have—"

"I'm perfectly capable—" Aliya began to resist, but Andy sternly interrupted.

"No, you're not—"

"It's not that bad!" Aliya looked up at the ceiling, suddenly irritated as she clutched ahold of the bridge of her nose, sending some of the tissues floating to the floor.

"Aliya, have you seen yourself? You look like crap." Cristina replied, looking at Aliya's bloody face with a grimace.

"I can spare Dr. Avery for ten minutes. Surgery's scheduled in twenty five, which is plenty of time." Dr. Altman instructed, glancing over at a rather frazzled and frustrated Aliya, who was more annoyed at the fact her favourite Christmas jumper was no a glorified mess. "Take care."

"While you're at it, you should page plastics." Cristina called over her shoulder as she left with Teddy, a smirk displayed annoyingly across her lips.

"Very funny, Yang." Aliya groaned, her eyes pressed shut as if this was just a really bad dream, and in a few seconds she would wake up in the comfort of her own bed, before she was stuck in a bush, interrogated about ex-boyfriends, and standing in the ER with a bloody nose.

Mark Sloan would have a field day if he saw her like this.

The brunette turned back to Jackson who was stood silently studying her. Andy had already retreated back to the front desk, knowing she was in safe hands with the Avery man.

"I guess you're stuck with me." Jackson led her over to a gurney, a hand gently placed on her elbow to guide the unsteady woman as they walked over towards it. Aliya slipped onto it, wincing sharply as pain began to shoot up her side. "What happened?"

"Oh, my patient started seizing." Aliya explained.

"And—" Jackson prompted, peeling her hand away from her beat up nose.

"And then, sucker punch." Aliya spoke dramatically, laughing to herself, even though nothing about the situation was remotely funny.

"Why are you laughing? Aren't you in pain?" He reached over for antiseptic from the tray, dabbing it onto a cloth and pressing down onto the wound on her cheek, seeing as her nose was just a nose bleed.

The woman winced at the contact, so Jackson started to press the antiseptic into her skin more carefully.

"Or, is this some sort of psychotic coping mechanism I'm witnessing?"

"Oh, I'm in pain. It's just funny isn't it?" She responded, her voice light and airy from the shock and adrenaline. "Not him having a seizure, obviously. That's not funny. Not funny at all." She laughed again, ducking her head down as her shoulders shook violently.

"Head up!" He tilted her chin, finishing off wiping the blood away, but he couldn't help but smirk at her laughter. "Well, you have a cut on your cheek which needs to be sutured. It's pretty deep but, your nose has stopped bleeding. And, you look a lot less like a demented Christmas vampire."

Aliya sighed, giving him a wide tooth smile as he wiped the blood away from her nose with a damp cloth. "Really? No way, that's what I was going for."

Jackson chuckled, discarding all the tissues and wipes in the trash. "Does it hurt anywhere else?"

"Just my stomach but, it's fine—" She pulled up her jumper, exposing a very red and swollen patch of skin on her side, before tugging her sweater back down.

Jackson made a sound, as if he were muttering to himself that it didn't exactly look fine, before walking away, returning a few seconds later with two ice packs, one for her nose and one for her side.

"Aren't you going to suture up my face?" She questioned as he held an ice pack to her abdomen, strapping it around her waist, casually, his fingertips lightly grazing her skin.

"No." He replied, quickly. "I don't want to be blamed for the rest of my life if I mess it up."

The rest of his life?

Aliya blinked at that. "Who's going to be responsible for that then?"

"I paged plastics." He explained, retrieving the numbing gel from the drawers and rubbing it on her cut.

"Plastics? Isn't that a little excessive?" Aliya looked up at him as he placed great concentration on applying the numbing gel.

Aliya just prayed that Mark Sloan was not going to be the one to walk through that door.

"Nope." Jackson put all the rest of the bloodied tissues into the bin, grabbing a juice box and handing it to her.

"Do I at least get a Hello Kitty band aid?" She questioned grimly, stabbing her straw into her juice.

Jackson clicked his tongue, pulling out a band aid with a cartoon golden retriever. "No can do, we ran out. The dogs are all we have."

"The dogs will do." Aliya said decisively, slurping on her grape flavoured juice.

"What happened to you?" Mark interrogated, concerned as he appeared through the double doors, standing at Aliya's side.

It had to be said, Aliya was going to be responsible for the murder of Dr. Jackson Avery.

Say your goodbyes now.

"That's my cue, scab nose. I have a surgery. Hope the face gets better." Jackson grinned, placing the golden retriever band aid in her palm and striding away.

"It's fine, it's just a cut." Aliya put the ice pack that she had held onto her cheek onto the gurney, mentally cursing Jackson as Mark's eyes widened at the gash, tugging a suture kit out of the drawers and setting it up.

"Just a cut, huh?" The plastic surgeon narrowed his eyes.

Aliya ignored him, changing the subject. "Heard about the daughter thing how's that going?"

Mark paused. "It's— uh— going."

Aliya nodded her head, pulling at the plaster in her hand, the golden retrievers face elongating. "I can guess."

"You've had a teenager randomly show up saying they were your daughter?" Mark swivelled around on the stool, tugging it closer to her gurney.

The brunette grinned. "Just last week, you didn't hear? News travels fast around here, I'm surprised."

Mark gave a short laugh, pursing his lips as he started to sew across Aliya's cheek. "Well, she's staying with us. I don't know how long for. I can barely even look her in the eye."

Aliya tilted her head to the side under Mark's instructions, his hand placed on her jaw to keep her still. "How come?"

"I— feel guilty. You know? The truth is, I knew her mom was pregnant." He cleared his throat, avoiding eye contact as he concentrated fully on the suturing. "I didn't do anything about it. Didn't ask if the baby was born, didn't even offer child support. I did nothing."

"That was back then. In the past. You have a chance to have a relationship with her. You can make up for the years you weren't there." Aliya tried to make him feel better but, her and regret seemed to go hand in hand. And, that particular feeling of guilt was something that was quite impossible to forget.

Regret was sometimes worse than jealousy.

Mark chuckled, slightly. "That's very logical, but it doesn't help the regret."

"Nothing will ever help the regret, you just have to make up for it now she's here." Aliya replied honestly, tapping her fingertips against the sheets impatiently.

The plastic surgeon frowned, tying of the end of the suture, cutting off the thread neatly. "There. All done."

"Thanks. No, I can blame you if I scar—"

"Aliya—" He cleared his throat, interrupting her train of thought. "I— I guess I want to apologise."

Aliya narrowed her eyes, slipping off of the gurney to chuck her juice box in the trash. "For what?"

Mark shrugged his shoulders. "For being an ass in our relationship. For never leaving you alone when you ask me too, so nicely might I add."

If so nicely translated to yelling directly into his face, then sure, Aliya was a very polite woman.

Every bone in her body tensed at his words, and how tragically late they were. At how no amount of guilty he could ever express was enough to take back the year of hell he put her through. It was all just too late.

No apology was ever really good enough.

"Excuse me?" The words came out of her mouth from the shock of it all, and even now he got the girl he wanted, he was still holding onto this. To them.

"I guess, what I'm trying to say is—" Mark looked anywhere but her. "I realised the— how do I put it?— damage I did."

Aliya laughed, despite the whole situation was clearly unfunny. "The damage you did? You're kidding right?"

It was almost as if her realised the choice of words, and how wrong they were. And, how he kept screwing up every interaction they ever had, time and time again. "Aliya—"

"No." Aliya snapped, not wanting to hear her name on his lips anymore. "Let's not go there. Thanks for suturing up my face and all, but I'm going to go check on my patient. I don't have the time and energy to uncover all that again. I'm not in charge of clearing your conscience."

The Levine woman began to walk off, attempting to suppress all of the pain and the rage she felt towards the man who was always perfectly fine.

He was the cut that always seemed to bleed, so it appeared.

No amount of time or space could change that.

Everytime she had thought she was free, that she figured she could finally breathe, he showed up, confessing his demons to her as if she wasn't on a first name basis with all of them.

She paused as she stood in the doorway, and she cast him a look over her shoulder. "You should know, you didn't do any damage, well, yes you were an ass at the end and you hurt me but, I'm not damaged. Not by you anyway."

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"I leave you alone for three hours, and this is what you do?" Alex said, taking Aliya by surprise as he entered the deserted gallery, two take-out coffee cups in his hands.

Aliya smiled lightly, because if she strained any muscle in her face with any kind of facial expression, it hurt like a bitch. "Hey."

From the gallery, she was watching Marty in surgery where Derek was treating his brain hemorrage because, the neurosurgeon told her it was for the best if she sat this one out — which she found a load of crap seeing as she was the one who found him, collapsed at the mall.

He handed her a coffee as he took a seat next to her, and she took it gratefully, bringing it up to her lips instantly even though she knew it would probably burn her tongue.

"I guess, though, the plus side of getting your face bashed in is the free coffee." She said, decisively with a grin.

"Just don't go doing it again." Alex warned her, his eyes pinned on her, rather than the surgery happening below them.

"What? Do I have coffee on my chin?" The brunette questioned as Alex's eyes lingered on her, and she rubbed the back of her hand across her face.

"No— it's not that." Alex let out a breath, fingertips drumming on his coffee cup. "Are you okay?"

"Well, my face is a little sore, but other than that I'm—"

"I meant with what happened at the Thanksgiving dinner." The Karev man clarified.

"I'm fine. It happened, like, a month ago. It's completely and totally fine." She said, brushing him off and putting on a brave face, even if she knew Alex would be able to see right through her charade. "I have to be okay with it."

"You don't—"

"I do." Aliya intervened, the tone of her voice firm as she watched Derek operate closely. "Because, if I'm not, what good is that gonna do? I can't change my mother. She's the one I'm stuck with. So, why waste time dwelling on it, huh? In my mother's eyes, I'll always be her biggest disappointment, and nothing I do will ever change that."

Alex shook his head, dismissively. "It shouldn't be like that."

"But, things are." She shrugged the sentiment off, because no matter how many hours she had spent sat around and wishing things to be different, they never would be. "It's out of my control, and I'm fine. I've made my peace with it."

"Okay." Alex replied, his voice gentle.

And, he reached over, placing his hand on top of hers.

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—✩—
⠀

CHRISTMAS DAY
⠀

It was around eleven o'clock at night on Christmas Eve when Aliya appeared to have fallen asleep on the neuro floor's front desk, having no recollection of time when she closed her eyes.

She was still there until the morning, nobody bothering to wake her up seeing as she looked as if she needed the sleep.

Except, when Jackson Avery poked the fast asleep woman with his pen. "There are on call rooms for that, you know."

Aliya blinked awake, not rising from the desk, her cheek stuck to her arm. "What time is it?" She mumbled into her sleeve, pressing her eye shut again as she tried to adjust to the harsh lights above her.

"Seven." The Avery man answered. "In the morning."

She jolted up, pinning her wide brown eyes onto the man in front of her. "You let me sleep here, drooling on the paperwork for eight hours?"

"You look like you needed it." Jackson replied with a shrug, scribbling in his the charts.

The Levine woman rubbed at her eyes, sleepily grinning in a disillusioned haze, ignoring the ache in her neck from sleeping in the worst position in the world all night. "It's freaking Christmas."

Jackson chuckled, briefly looking up. "It's freaking Christmas."

"You weren't meant to be working?" She acknowledged with a yawn, drumming her fingertips on the desk as she prepared herself to get up, stretching out her stiff muscles.

"I covered for Patricks." He told her, simply.

Aliya paused in thought. "She's got three kids."

"Great observation skills." Jackson replied back, closing his chart in his hands. "Would suck to be away from her kids on Christmas. I have nothing but a bottle of wine to go back to, and well, Charles."

Jackson watched Aliya's expression, her jaw hanging slack— she didn't know why she seemed so shocked by all of this, it wasn't like the man stood opposite her was a bad guy.

As much as she wanted him to be.

"Hey," Jackson began to defend. "I can be nice."

"That was very noble of you." She offered him the best he was going to get, pushing back from the chair as he shook his head at her sarcasm, smirking ever so slightly. "Well, Merry Christmas, Dr Avery."

He looked up, his green eyes catching in the harsh, bright hospital lights. "Merry Christmas, Dr Levine."

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After dinner with what seemed like half of the hospital staff and Bailey's father, Aliya spent the rest of her Christmas day evening sat up on the counter, a discarded bowl of custard in her lap, a spoon in the one hand and a glass of wine in the other.

It really was an ideal situation for her.

That was until Mark entered the room, causing Aliya to take a very big gulp of her wine to take the edge off.

"You look very, uh, serene up there." The Sloan man commented, seeing as the skirt she was wearing was fanned out across the counter. He gulped, moving to open the fridge to grab a bottle of water.

"I was in my zen." Aliya replied flatly, scooping the side of the bowl with their spoon.

Was, note the past tense.

He walked sheepishly over to her. "I just wanted to apolo—"

Aliya sighed, the spoon clanking against the edge of the bowl. "Can you just stop apologising? And all together just stop being an ass?"

"Fine." Mark shook his head with a weak laugh, his back resting on the counter opposite her. "If you stop calling me ass."

"If you stop being one, then deal." Aliya handed him the bowl — to clarify, Aliya would always think Mark was an ass, even if she didn't say it directly to his face. "Custard?" Mark took the peace offering, grabbing a clean spoon from the cutlery drawer.

"So, friends?" Mark pushed his luck. "Believe it or not, I still like talking to you."

Aliya rolled her eyes. "If you promise to stop being a jerk."

(They would never be friends, she knew that, but Mark wasn't ready to accept it.)

"Oh? So, we've moved onto jerk now?" He questioned as he scraped at the bowl, an eyebrow raised.

"Ass went into retirement. Everything needs a replacement." She took a sip of her wine, the red staining her lips pink.

"Fair enough." The pair sat, scooping out the custard from the bowl in silence until the noise of Aliya's cellphone ring tone sounded from her pocket.

With a sigh, Aliya tugged her phone out, the screen lit up with the contact Eliana Levine.

"Oh, for the love of God." The brunette muttered, scowling down at her phone like she did whenever her family called.

"I'll leave you to it, but I'm taking the custard with me." Mark dashed out the room before Aliya could even protest.

Aliya held the phone to her ear, frowning at the loss of her custard. "Hello?"

"Hello." A voice that was definitely not Elle's spoke into the phone, and Aliya knew exactly who it was. Her mother.

"Mom?" She stiffened, her hand clutching around her wine as if it were a lifeline.

"Yes." Molly Levine replied, slight frustration in her voice for an unknown reason. "I just wanted to call and say Merry Christmas."

"Well, Merry Christmas." Aliya said, flatly.

And, the pair stayed on the phone in silence, which only made Aliya's anxiety increase. Because, it was weird for her mother to be silent, she was never silent ever. That woman always had something critical to say.

"I heard what happened with your face." Bailey entered the room, not noticing Aliya was on her phone until she saw her intern point to it. Bailey gave her a nod, wandering around the kitchen silently, locating the source of the cups after rifling through a couple of the cupboards.

"Uh, Mom, I have to go." Aliya explained in a rush, shifting from where she was sat up high.

"What happened to your face?" Molly's voice was stern, and Aliya could've sworn found a hint of concern in her voice, something she didn't know her mother could show. Especially if it was towards her.

"Nothing happened, we have people over and it's quite busy. They weren't talking to me." Aliya lied, not wanting to get into it, especially with her mother of all people.

"Oh. Okay. Goodbye, Aliya." She sounded hurt, but Aliya ignored it even though she felt the smallest bit guilty for causing it.

But, she shouldn't though, not after everything her mother did to her in this lifetime.

"Bye Mom. Tell Dad and everyone else I say Merry Christmas." The phone disconnected and Aliya sighed, annoyed her mom could call and just simply ignore all the shit she had caused last month.

Aliya grabbed her wine, unconsciously. "This helps."

"I bet it does." Bailey sighed, leaning on the counter beside her intern.

Aliya picked up the bottle, pouring some into Bailey's wine glass. "How's the dad thing going?"

Bailey laughed breathlessly, taking a sip as Aliya stopped pouring. "How's the mom thing going?"

"Touché." Aliya set down her wine glass, leaning against the cabinet behind her. "I'm sorry that happened."

Bailey shook her head, brushing off her father's previous judgements at dinner. "You don't have to apologise."

"You were completely right about what you said by the way." Aliya swung her legs back and forth from her position on the counter. "About being happy, and having a healthy child. You were right. You put the happiness of your son in front of your own constantly. You shouldn't be judged for that."

Bailey gave a light smile in thought, after her dad spent the entire Christmas dinner criticising his daughter, Aliya couldn't help but feel sad for her.

"Selfish would never be a word that comes to mind when I hear your name." Aliya told her, sincerely, meaning every word she said.

Bailey looked up at the brunette. "Thank you, Levine."

"Aliya!" A voice from the hallway called out, who Aliya could only assume was Meredith. "There's someone here for you."

"That's my cue." Aliya smiled, abandoning her custard (though taking her wine glass) as she hopped off of the counter, making her way to the hallway to see who was there.

As she rounded the corner, she was met with the wide grin of Andy, standing there in a very bright and festive Christmas jumper.

And, by bright — her jumper lit up.

"Andy!" Aliya beamed, immediately wrapping her arms around the woman, careful not to spill any wine down her. "You came! We've got tonnes of leftovers, let me get you some, you must be starving—"

"That would be lovely, honey." Andy smiled, following the brunette into the kitchen where she set her wine down, grabbing a clean plate from the cabinet so she could grab Andy some food.

"I got you something." Andy held out a carefully wrapped present, finished off with a huge bow the size of Aliya's head.

"You didn't have to." Aliya grinned, shovelling some turkey, potatoes and other various different kinds of vegetables onto her plate.

"I wanted to," Andy said with a shrug, slipping onto the stool at the breakfast bar. "You got me those lovely mugs."

"I thought you'd like them." The Levine woman set the plate down infront of Andy, retrieving some cutlery from the drawer before taking a seat beside her.

"There's gravy there." Aliya pointed out as she started to unwrap her present, making sure not to rip the wrapping paper (it had dogs in Christmas hats, she had to save it).

"This is good turkey, did you cook this?" Andy marvelled, before pausing, sharing a look with the woman sat across from her, and shortly after the pair descended into laughter.

"Did I cook it?" Aliya threw her head back at the novelty, seeing as she rarely even touched the stove or the oven. She really only entered the kitchen to make coffee and raid the snack cupboard.

As she was laughing, she began to pull out the present, and in her hands appeared a pair of slippers, each slipper about the size of her head with huge reindeers on them with bright red noses.

"No way!" Aliya beamed wide at the fluffy slippers in her hands, and just by her reaction Andy grinned wider too, popping potatoes into her mouth.

"I saw them in the store, and they looked like something you'd buy, so I—"

"I love them!" Aliya instantly slipped them onto her feet, before throwing her arms yet again around Andy's shoulders, pressing her cheek into her shoulder. "Thank you."

"Merry Christmas, honey." Andy kissed the brunette's cheek, smoothing down her hair as she started to tell her about the chaos of the ER this Christmas Day.

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( notes! )

i miss christmas so much 😭 and andy!!!!! she's such a cutie and it makes so much sense for her to rock up to a christmas dinner late and wearing an ugly christmas sweater i LOVE her

had to mention the iconic hello kitty bandaid/plaster because it's too iconic!

11th march 2024 — so i'm going through all the chapters and editing them and i've just finished this one but honestly this chapter is a bit trash??? just a little bit??? but i don't necessarily want to change anything in it so it just gonna sit here looking cute (and trash)

( word count! — 7,900 )