Reviewer: PeterPan2210
Reviewee: MadCheshire55
Story reviewed: Game of the Dead
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                 Overall comments:
Wasn’t as addicting as I expected it to be but it fared well enough in the sea of my judgements and criticisms.

Your strength is that you build a good, meaty plot mixed with how to keep the story moving. Your weak point is tense and grammar. 
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Cover:
6/10
Just someone’s face? Doesn’t make a lot of sense tbh. It has nothing that seems to say “death" or “investigation” or “game". You mentioned a good girl’s guide to murder so I’m assuming you’ve read it, in which case I’m pretty sure you’ve also seen its cover. The cover screams “investigation” due to the little pins and strings connected across the title like a link board or a murder board. I want you to do something like that. It’s pretty otherwise but we’re going for accurate and not pretty.

Something that matches the vibe.

Title:
10/10
Game of the Dead. Sounds like someone who’s supposed to be dead but is actually not, is playing a game with the people alive. Sounds interesting enough to me, plus it’s pretty simple so I like it.

Description
9/10
It’s good I’d say, but it didn’t quite draw me in as it should've. Maybe include a scene from the book in the description too.

Plus, you’ve written, “Monica, MacKenzie and Hope, both get texts…” it shouldn’t be ‘both' since it’s three people who get texts. Both signifies two. Change that.

Basic plot:
10/10
It’s a good plot. Investigating one’s sister's cold case while managing your own secrets.

Content:
7/10
I don’t have a lot of insight to your characters. You’re basing them off of real people is what you told me in the comments so I’d suggest that you actually put in scenes that characterize them and bring out their personality even more. Right now, their personality portrayal isn't very strong. Didn't seem like it to me, at least.

Other than that, the descriptions were a bit straightforward. I’d prefer if it were a bit on the mysterious side of things, the descriptions.

Pace + Sequence:
8.5/10
A bit too fast for me. And the chapters are tiny. I’m greedy for more content in the chapter. Give me more!

Grammar + Punctuation + Tense:
6.5/10
Grammar and Tense mistakes. Spelling mistakes too. I would suggest having an editor edit the work. (Maybe check out our editing shop?)

Structuring/Tone + Voice:
9/10
Although I liked that you have the ability to weave a prose well without using big, fancy words, I’d still prefer it if you selected your vocab to match the mysterious tone of the story. The structuring was a bit amiss at times. But otherwise great.

Originality:
8/10
Dead girls and cold case investigation is too common  especially with the investigators being high school girls. Also, ‘three friends’ friend group is a cliché. Plus the messages on the phone with no actual real danger is also a cliché though your story is yet to complete so I won’t comment a lot on that. Also with the messages and the secrets, your story gave me major pretty little liars’ Allison vibes.

(Plus ngl, had you not mentioned it, I probably wouldn't even have thought about it but your book does seem inspired from 'A good girl's guide to murder'. Maybe that's just me though.)

Reader enjoyment:
9/10
The book was definitely amazing but work on all of those points and you can make it better. Even best.

Overall score:
83/100

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