mark watched as donghyuck bowed and applause spread across the audience. the channel switched to a commercial break, and he turned the tv off. he didn't fail to notice the small pauses in donghyuck's speech, indicating the nerves he was trying so hard to cover. the newly dyed brown shade looked perfect on the younger though. mark thought it suited him well.

   it was always interesting to him how donghyuck would answer questions about their friendship. all of korea seemed to be obsessed with their dynamic, so at this point, mark answered the questions exactly how donghyuck did. how rehearsed they were but no one took notice of it never failed to surprise him. it was fortunate that he was getting paid to follow a script for a living. 

   mark could remember multiple occasions where he saw a shipper at his fan meetings. it wasn't a rare sight at all. he wondered what would change if everyone knew the truth. the idea was amusing considering everyone thought the two of them were 'best friend goals'. the irony that mark had spoken to donghyuck more in the past three days than the past six months made the whole ordeal comical even.

   there was a ping and mark checked his phone to see yet another message from johnny. with a sigh, the ravenette went back to reading the lengthy and descriptive paragraph from the older describing his disapproval from covering up donghyuck's scandal. he had recieved it mid day, but had managed to avoid reading it until now. mark didn't care about what it could cost him, it was all worth it to him anyway.

   the investigation on the case hadn't begun yet, or if it did, mark hadn't heard a word about it yet. he wondered if miyong would really not even notice that she had a chance to sue him entirely. the thought made him want to laugh, he loathed that woman.

   "red or white?" evelyn suddenly asked him, holding up two night gowns. "how about black?" mark suggested instead. "oh, you liked that one?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. "mhm," mark hummed before their lips met in a brief kiss, "my favorite." evelyn laughed and retreated to her room where he guessed she was looking for her black dress.

   a part of him felt guilty. he knew he didn't love evelyn the way she loved him. it was obvious in everything she did, and that scared him. mark wasn't good with commitments, with long term things. even his job as an actor would seem at risk sometimes when he would suddenly get in a mood to play guitar or continue song writing—a habit he'd picked up in middle school but never did much with. 

   if anyone asked what mark was to evelyn, he knew she'd say that he was her boyfriend. but to him, they didn't have a label, or he didn't want them to at least. he liked whatever they had at the moment, but he wasn't ready to be bound to it.

   the two of them met when mark was twenty. evelyn was a screenwriter and they'd worked together. at first glance, she was pretty. she had long legs, american beauty with korean fair skin, and a very contagious personality. after well over a hundred glances, mark realized that she was far more than just pretty. she was straight up beautiful in and out.

   by the third time they met, mark slept with her, and for two years, they never spoke again. not because anything had happened, but because it was meant to be no more than a one night stand before they each presumed with their busy lives. the next time they met, mark asked her to dinner as a polite gesture. he wished he'd noticed the signs that she was falling in love when one day he came to the rude awakening that he somehow knew everything about her. from the fact that she was mixed korean and american and grew up in california, to the fact that her favorite day of the week was wednesday. when had they spoken so much?

   after about five months of what he belatedly realized was dating, they broke apart as he had unfinished business in canada. still somehow, three months ago they met again and what was meant to only be one night of tangled bodies became this. 

   mark liked evelyn for a good fuck. not only for a good fuck, but that was the main reason. maybe he loved her as a friend, he never really thought about it. but to even suggest that mark loved her romantically was a stretch, far too long of a stretch. 

   it had been recent when evelyn started sleeping over at his house, but for some reason he always managed to come up with an excuse of why they should never share his bed. he felt that it was too intimate, and that once he did, she would think that they would be together for life, and that honestly just wasn't something mark was interested in.

   there were maybe a handful of people that mark hoped would stay in his life until the day he died, and to be frank, he wasn't on the best terms with any of them. his parents, johnny, a fellow actor friend named jaehyun, and though he was almost embarrassed to admit it, donghyuck.

   unlike the way mark hardly talked about his background and general interests with evelyn, donghyuck knew everything about him. from the way he used to crack his knuckles when he got nervous to the point where the teacher got so fed up and gave him an uncalled-for detention, to the way his last encounter with his parents went before he set off in korea to start a new life for himself.

   perhaps there would never be a day when they openly said it to eachother, but they needed eachother. mark doubted either of them could function otherwise. that was also most likely why their act on tv and interviews worked so well. there was a bit of truth in everything.

   suddenly mark's phone rang and as he checked the caller he answered immediately. "speak of the devil," he mused. he'd been waiting for that call all day.

---

   mark got out of bed quickly the next morning. in the uncommon occasion that it had been evelyn's birthday, she wanted to sleep with him—in the non-sexual kind of way. he obliged but in her state of tiredness mixed with drunkenness, he steered them to her room rather than his. the moment he woke up, he got out of bed, not wanting her to feel that it was all becoming real. that they were becoming a couple.

   he got up, showered, left a note, and headed to the office. he needed every excuse why he wasn't in bed with her in the morning that he could get. he arrived at the office and immediately johnny attacked him with clear disappointment. mark only listened halfheartedly while checking his business in canada from his laptop, making sure everything was going well. 

   as johnny talked his ear off, he wished he hadn't made the mistake in telling the older. since only people johnny had told within the company knew that mark was the one who'd taken the recording, he didn't understand why it was a big fuss. if miyong didn't know yet, no one else had a way of finding out. if she were to find out, he'd deal with it then, but for now there wasn't as much to worry about as johnny was getting at.

   with the way johnny and other staff members had flooded his phone notifications and emails all day the day before, anyone could easily assume that the news had broken the internet. but no, it was just him getting called reckless and unprofessional over and over and over and...

   "are you down for waffles right now? i skipped breakfast," mark announced, cutting johnny off. johnny looked at him for a moment without saying a word before sighing. then he tossed him the keys and said, "get in the car, i gotta do something real quick."

   mark casually strolled out of the office, swinging the keys in his hand as he made his way down to the parking garage. different people had different love languages. some physical touch, some words of affirmation, and so on. mark's love language was food, and as he and johnny later sat in the parking lot, music blasting, black windows rolled up as if to not expose that there was a korean celebrity in the passengers seat, he knew that food would always get the point across.

   'thank you', 'i'm sorry', 'i love you,' food meant things that you didn't have to say, and that's what mark liked about it.

   "how's the script going? johnny asked. "i actually only looked at it once. i nearly forgot that the camera test is tomorrow," mark answered. he checked the time on his watch. the sun wouldn't set for another six hours, and he intended on practicing the script as much as he could until then. "no schedule for today, right?" there were a few times that he could remember where he was meant to have the day off but it got ruined by a sudden addition to the schedule. he hoped that wouldn't be the case for today.

   "no schedule, but i really need you to think about what you'll do if everyone finds out that you were the source of that recording," johnny pestered. the younger rolled his eyes. he and johnny fought regularly but got over the arguments quickly. it made it easy for them to each state their opinions and never resolve the problem, but then again, communication works differently for everyone.

   "i already told you, i have a lawyer, it'll be fine," he balled up his trash and threw it away in a plastic bag found in johnny's car, designated for waste. "you're being really weird lately, you're not like yourself," johnny claimed, backing out of the lot now that they were both done eating. "since when is getting sued okay with you because you have a lawyer that'll help you get through it?"

   mark shrugged, "people change i guess." the canadian hoped the taller wouldn't connect the dots that he was doing it solely for the purpose of donghyuck. 

   "wait," johnny paused, "don't tell me it's because of haechan?" mark's hope deflated.

   unfortunately, mark had never been gifted in quick thinking to get him out of sticky situations, such as lying. he chewed the inside of his cheek, staying silent while his brain tried to find an answer to johnny's question.

   the older looked over at him in disbelief, laughing a bit. "there's no way," he chuckled, "you have a soft spot for him." mark was quick to argue, "i don't have a soft spot for him, okay?" johnny turned his head towards him, a look of disbelief on his face. "i don't," mark repeated. "he did a lot for me in highschool, i'm just returning the favor now," he mumbled, reluctant to talk about something somewhat personal.

   mark hardly ever mentioned things that meant a lot to him to others, so even johnny didn't know much about his past with donghyuck. thankfully, knowing how uncommon it was for mark to mention anything about his more private life, johnny didn't tease him and fell into silence.

   the drive was quiet for a while before anyone spoke again. "how's evelyn?" johnny then asked. mark sighed, turning towards the window. he remembered the time evelyn wanted to see how mark spent a day at work, and he didn't have the heart to turn her down, so she ended up getting introduced to johnny. 

   "evelyn meet johnny, johnny meet evelyn," he had said, causing the tension to rise. he could tell that she was waiting for him to introduce her as his girlfriend, but he hadn't been able to force the words out. ever since, johnny frequently pestered him about her and why he was with her if he wasn't exactly 'with her'. from that one interaction, even he could tell how in love evelyn was with mark.

   "she's good, it was her birthday yesterday," he reluctantly answered. "what did you guys do?" johnny continued pursuing the topic. "we went out to dinner," the younger answered shortly. "does she know that...," he waited, likely thinking over what he was about to ask once more, "does she know about the possible lawsuit?" "yeah," mark answered again, seeing where johnny was going with this and not liking it one bit.

   "she doesn't know why you did it, does she?"

   "i told her it was kind of confidential."

   johnny got quiet again, but mark knew exactly what was soon to come. "she may think she's satisfied now—that things are going well, but just wait. soon she'll realize that this isn't enough for her, that she wants to take things further. women think about marriage a lot, it'll only be a matter of time before she's looking and pinning aesthetic wedding themes to her pinterest boards. considering how long you've been together over all, she'll be setting up small tests to see how much you love her—," but i don't love her, mark thought. "—and she'll be waiting and hoping that you'll pop the question soon. trust me on this one," johnny finished.

   mark struggled to rebut, eventually coming up with something that would hopefully satisfy johnny for the time being. "we're just... taking this relationship thing at different paces. she only happens to be far ahead of me," he attempted to end the conversation. 

   "no, mark. you're ahead of her. you've already left her behind," johnny exhaled. it was mark's turn to fall quiet, not sure of how to answer that as he contemplated the thought. 

   "just," he sighed, running a hand through his dark locks, "i need time to figure things out, but i won't break her heart, alright?" johnny looked at him, shaking his head, his eyes dripping with disappointment.

   "you already have."

---

   mark stood outside his front door, hand hovering over the door knob. he wasn't ready to face evelyn and her series of questions. oddly enough, he really wanted to talk to donghyuck. he pulled out his phone, opening his contacts. he found donghyuck's and his hand hovered over the call button for a few moments. with a deep breath, he closed the app and slid his phone in his pocket. what was he thinking?

   the way their call ended the day before bothered him. though mark was the one who originally said he had to go, the way donghyuck replied to it was sudden, and he sounded more than just a little upset.

   mark's phone lit up and for a split-second, he imagined it was donghyuck. he looked down and the name 'evelyn' showed up instead. he placed his hand on the door knob and twisted it open. "i'm back," he called from the door, taking off his shoes and stepping inside. "hey babe, i just texted you to let you know that dinner was ready," evelyn greeted him, placing a kiss on his cheek. "oh yeah?" he asked, pretending he hadn't seen the message. "what did you make?" he asked, catching a scent wafting from the kitchen.

   "just some mediocre pasta," she answered, helping him get his jacket off. "i doubt it's mediocre if you made it," he replied smoothly, hooking onto her waist and placing a kiss on her lips. she giggled softly, slipping away and into her bedroom, "just let me get changed."

   mark stepped into the dinning room which was also connected to the kitchen. a pot of pasta sat on the stove, still steaming with smoke. he thought about everything evelyn did for him and wondered how he would ever bring it up to her that he didn't think this relationship could go on much longer. he didn't even have an excuse. evelyn was perfect.

   he washed his hands and rolled his sleeves to his elbows, taking a seat at the table and pulling out his phone. he decided to catch up on instagram and surprisingly, donghyuck's picture was the first one on his feed. the first slide was a picture of him resting his chin in the palm of his hand, staring out the window towards the blue sky while sipping on an iced americano. in the second one, he was biting down on the straw, his hand covered by the soft green sweater he wore. in the third one, he was holding the hand of someone else whom was out of frame. mark subconsciously gritted his teeth. in the fourth slide, it was a selfie of him doing a love shot with jaemin. once again, subconsciously, mark relaxed.

   the post was captioned 'coffee with nana' and a coffee emoji. mark liked the post, knowing that if he didn't someone from his company would most likely do it anyway. he swiped through the pictures once more, admiring the new hair color. it really was perfect on him.

   "sorry," evelyn entered the room. her blonde hair was in a bun now and she wore her glasses, a hoodie and sweat pants taking place of her outside clothes. "i didn't mean to take that long," she apologized. "It's okay," mark assured her, standing up to help dish the food. 

   they brought the food to the table and sat across from eachother. mark whispered a quick prayer to which evelyn didn't interrupt, and began eating. evelyn cleared her throat, "you left early this morning, busy day?" mark chewed slowly, feeling bad that he was about to lie to her again. "i had a few meeting this morning, sorry about that," he filled his mouth with another fork-full.

   she hummed and stood up again, this time retrieving glasses from the cabinet. "i'm going to pour a glass of wine, do you want some?" having his mouth full, mark nodded, and she soon returned to the table, placing his glass in front of him.

   "it's good," he complimented the cooking, taking a sip from his wine. she beamed, "i'm glad you like it." they ate in silence for a moment, only sounds of their forks hitting their bowls being audible. "mark," evelyn  broke the silence somewhat hesitantly. he looked up at her carefully, "hm?" "my parents want to meet you," she said quietly. the taller looked back down, they last and only other time they talked about this, it had ended in a fight. the only fight they'd had throughout their whole on and off timeline.

   "i know last time you said it was too soon, and that it was too fast, but it's been a few years now, mark," she spoke gently and calmly, as if afraid that he would have a sudden outburst. "when do they want to meet?" he asked, avoiding eye contact but keeping his tone cool.

   "they know you're a busy person, so they hope whenever you have a clear week or two," she answered. mark nodded, "okay. i can do that." though he really didn't want to, there was no reason for him not to. plus, with everything she did for him, it was the least he could do. "thank you," she reached for his hand across the table and squeezed it. mark gave her a smile, one that he always used while acting—one that she wouldn't be able to detect was fake.

   the rest of the dinner went smoothly, and she went to take a shower while mark washed the dishes. he hated how everything johnny said about her was coming true. calling everything off would be a hard challenge, and for the first time in his life, he wouldn't be able to just act through it. he needed to be honest and say his thoughts head-first.

   he dried his hands on the towel and took a seat on a couch in the living room. his phone lit up with another notification. tomorrow's your last day to practice for the camera test, johnny sent. mark replied lazily with a thumbs up, turning his phone off and putting it on the coffee table. his phone lit up again and he sighed, picking it up, also we just received a call. congrats, you've been sued.

   mark groaned, sprawling out on the couch and closing his eyes. that was a problem he would deal with tomorrow, he decided. for now, he would ignore it.

   one more day until the test, he thought, one more day until donghyuck.

-----

  word count: 3436

   lonely harmonies, broken melodies... love drunk energy, i'm in ocean deep

✎ ---- dreaminghyuck⤾