"Well, well, well, if it isn't Jessica coming back with a sparkle in her eye. A smile across her face and glow in her skin. Look at those pearly whites! Please tell me what's been going on in your life."

As you can see, things have been looking up for me lately. Time's been speeding up so much that the twins have started Kindergarten and my troubles seem to be hiding out so I can get a moment of fresh air. Carmon helped me get the twins registered for school, despite my slight distrust in her.

I had to see the education system through a parent's perspective and Rena couldn't help me with that part and the only one with kids in the system was Carmon. However, Rena did help me get discounts for the after-school program at the twins' school since she was the director.

You know how Rena is. To her, it's so important for kids to be involved at school so their social development is sharp when they grow older. She must've forgotten who their Mama is; the world's worst with social interaction. Y'all know how I am, correct?

Anyway, my emotional imbalance is still working itself out to become balanced. After smashing some memorabilia and punching the hell out of a punching bag, I can officially say that I am slowly getting better. May have swung at Paul a bit too hard but it's cool because I have people around me that understand my deep-rooted anger. They help me take that anger out on the right things and it surely does help.

Kickboxing and painting were the two main things that kept me at bay. Unfortunately, the expensive art set was destroyed in the basement the day of my basement destruction party I had a while back and I just gave up after that.

No painting, no drawing, not even coloring in Demi's coloring book that Rena bought her for her birthday. Didn't even want to pick up a pen until I had to sign all these papers for the kids.

A water bill, ID, and birth certificates later, they're in kindergarten. Of course, the front office eyed their birth certificates because....well....you know why.

A buck at those bougie administrators scared them right behind their chairs and they had nothing else to say after that. How do you raise your nose up at somebody but run scared behind a desk? Also, how do you have the right to stick your nose up at somebody and you work in a school? And you're not even a teacher? You work at the front desk. That's nothing to brag about nor stick your nose up at because you're no better than other hardworking people.

Anyway, since the kids were in school and went to the afterschool program, I had more time on my hands, So, looking for a new job was the main thing on my mind. Yes, my aggressive ass got fired from Walmart but I didn't even do anything.

You tell me to stock up the beans and shit then say it's my fault for not trashing the moldy bread? I don't know about you but beans and bread are two different things to me and I wasn't asked by a manager to get rid of the old bread. One of the staff asked me to do their job while he went to do whatever he was about to do. All I knew was that it was something he shouldn't have been doing on the clock.

Of course, this was still around the time my emotions were up and down. So, when the manager was up my ass about this dumb shit, I got an attitude right back and got fired for it. Yeah, you're supposed to listen to what your managers tell you so you can keep your job but there's limits. I'm not sticking around to be treated like a damn dog by someone who don't know what they're doing.

So, my job hunting started recently and it turned into a witch hunt. Do you not realize how hard it was to find a place that would appreciate my work ethic? Nowadays, people want workers who are perfect but don't want to pay them with that perfect pay rate.

That's where Mario came in. After having breakdown after breakdown, Mario came back around because he couldn't stay away for too long. He advised me to start my own painting business since I really enjoyed that but, I'll be quite honest, I didn't believe in my own art work because it's been a while since I painted.

Also, nobody bought art unless it was a picture of them or made by a famous person. As if Leonardo da Vinci and Vincent van Gogh didn't start in a basement. They just became famous straight from the womb. Now that there are more and more people who get that privilege easier than others, it's hard for the next generation of artists to get there too. Everybody has a dream but barely anybody can achieve that dream nowadays.

Back to Mario. How the hell he found out about my hobby; I will never know. After my failed attempt to find a damn job, I actually took Mario's advice and started with my closest friends with the most money: Trent and Carmon, duh.

Trent paid for a few self-portraits of his kids and a family portrait. Suddenly, the requests for paintings came at me like hot chicken grease popping from a hot pan. They kept popping up from everywhere but most from Trent's business. Don't even have to leave the comfort of my own home and can enjoy what I do. Making money to feed my babies and pay my bills.

The only problem with all of this is figuring out taxes. If I'm not mistaken, if you make over a certain amount in your business, you have to pay taxes. Thanks to Trent, I have to pay taxes. That's one thing I don't want to be behind bars for. They can throw me in the slammer for beating somebody's ass but for something that small is weak.

If I save up enough coins, we could all go to Disney World; something I always wanted to do as a kid but couldn't since Mama was an asshole.

After that, I needed some time to myself or something to do outside of painting and kickboxing. Again, Mario came in at the right times and challenged me to a trip to a salsa class. One thing I don't do is dresses but I fuck with challenges.

We attended the class for about two hours and it was one of the greatest times I had in so long. The way his wide hands caressed my body and smiled at me while reassuring me that I was going to be amazing was the greatest feeling. And had me, he did. Putting my trust in him was a struggle but he showed and proved that he had skills.

He'd crack jokes while holding me close to him and made our time together so much fun. After that, he took me out to dinner and we had a deep conversation about our current situations. As fun as he was, I didn't want him thinking I was stringing him along or making him feel like the rebound in all of this. Can you believe he was okay with that? He was of a different breed because this woman wasn't cool with anybody being the rebound.

He was so accepting of everything and asked if we could take things slow. Of course, I was okay with taking things slow and just having him as someone to spend time with. A great friend that I could spend time with whenever things were looking down. A companion.

What good that did because that only lasted for about an hour. Once I had one glass, I had another and then...

"Woah! You really...Wait a minute, Jessica. You said you would take things slow with him. How is that going slow? Did you really-"

"Yes, girl. We fucked around off a couple of glasses of wine and it felt so good. The last time I had some pipe was...well, you remember when. It wasn't even about the pipe though. It was more so about the passion. It was about the gentle touches, the kisses, and emotion throughout the sex."

I'm telling you. Mario made me feel things I never thought I'd feel with anyone else. Hell, he made me feel things that I never felt before.

Oh shit. That's the problem. The therapist eyed me with a raised eyebrow and pressed her lips together as I talked about that man. Looking back at her, my raging sense of lust fell so fast because...

"Fuck! I forgot all about...Damn, what's her name?"

Yeah, her. We're still married and I've been fucking around. Tiffany keeps thinking that's how it works and that it's okay because we're separated. She seems to think that woman ain't thinking about me.

Why the hell do I still care about this bitch though? She hasn't been on my mind since a few weeks ago. I guess it's still a process. I can't stop caring because I gave her my all and if that strawberry-headed freak were in any danger, I'd still be there for her. That's the way I roll.

This is what it's like still sleeping with a bended heart. A hamburger-style folded heart. Damn it.

At least I got a chance to feel some sort of happiness again. My therapist shook her head and sighed at my entire story but she wasn't supposed to be doing any of that. She was supposed to not judge me but I understood.

I could sense what she was thinking, which was probably what Carmon and Rena would think had I told them, especially Rena. She can't stand Mario and wants me to make amends with my wife...

But what if you can't really do that anymore? What if those chances are off the table?

Tiffany was overjoyed about it and asked me not to tell my cousin or her sister just in case they tried to change my mind. So...

I didn't.

Every time I even attempted to bring this up, she'd shake me and say "Do you want to be happy or keep fighting for your happiness? Whoever told you that dating a woman would be better than dating a man lied to you. As you can see, it's worse. So, take the happy dick and stay that way."

I couldn't imagine telling Rena about Mario and I spending time together. I could hear her now. "Jessica, see?! This is why you should have never gone to that damn dance class! You're already forgetting about her! You need to stay away from him!"

Then Carmon would probably be like "Jess, I'm so glad you're happy but don't forget about who you really love." Something to that effect.

"Jessica, when did you first know that you liked women?"

Why in the world would my therapist ask me a question like that? I knew I liked women when...

Well, I never really liked other women. The only woman I was in love with and actually had feelings for was...her. When I beat bullies' asses for her, I knew that she was the one for me...or so I thought.

"Would you say your marriage had more good times or bad times?"

Taking out the time to really think...I could barely think of any good times we had. Most of our time together was spent breaking up, getting back together, sex, and arguing over another woman she lusted over.

Maybe I didn't make things better trying to mess around with Leo to make her jealous or have the twins to keep her around but, in my mind, I did it all in the name of love. Something I don't feel I have to do with Mario. He just came into my life and genuinely wanted to befriend me.

Somehow, he keeps popping back around after many times of pushing him away. There's just something about him that I enjoy...

"Are you genuinely happy right now?" the therapist asked as she crossed her legs and folded her arms over her chest.

Absolutely! I'm not pissed off all the time and I hope I'm not saying that only to jinx what is going on in my life. My kids are doing so well, being respectful and listening to me. My friends are getting along and were all pretty happy...to an extent.

Mario makes time spent with him feel like a whole vacation. We're always doing something different and there's a learning opportunity each time. For once, I'm actually happy. No more ripping shit to make myself feel better. This is what happiness looks like, right?

After answering that question, I sighed and smiled, thinking about the past few weeks.

"What do you think the next step is?" she asks me this question like I'm supposed to know.

If I'm happy and in a good place in my life, do I need to do anything else? Oh wait...

My heart sank at the thought because it's something I've never been through before. I never thought that I'd have to go through it. Nobody in my family had this problem...but, in order to officially be free...I guess I have to...

"Get a divorce?".

****

Welcome back, folks!

I was persuaded to just put the old version of Screw Me Over and continue writing SUO so BAM! We're back!

I missed you guys! If only this were my actual job. Writing about my friends.

So, what did you think of this chapter?

Is Jess wrong for feeling this way with Mario?

What do you think is going to happen between her and Jana?

Which character did you miss the most?

See you all around the Wattpadisphere, thanks for reading, and see ya on Saturday! Love ya!