Jana's Secret Spot
*A/N: This chapter is heavily inspired by one of Jana's favorite artists! Please know that this bar is fictional. I figured the song was perfect for this chapter! Read on to figure out what the song is! I hope I did her justice!
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I closed my eyes before going into this old-fashioned bar that nobody knew the name of. Either they came in drunk, came out drunk, or never really looked at the name of the bar. The girls and I never cared about the name. We just went in then came out bent over in pain from all of our hysterical laughter or drunk over Rena's shoulder, our designated driver every single time.
Remembering the time Carmon was drunk off her ass, I walked into the place and hid my face as best as I could. The low lighting helped with that. Small booths around the common area with the bar sitting to my left, wooden slabs made the walls, fishnets, the old-fashioned analog clocks, and the pictures of old patrons with the owner as they mingled with others decorated the place.
The smell of bourbon whisky filled the space and adds a smile to my hidden face while walking past bar visitors as young as 21 and as old as 70. The memory of Tiffany taking a sip and wanting a cocktail quickly surfaced as she wondered why Carmon ordered that for her, me wondering why Carmon invited everyone else in the first place.
This spot used to be the place Carmon and I went to whenever we just wanted to get away from everything going on at the apartment. After we all moved away, all of us would meet up here to catch up on old times. Good times here because seeing Jess drunk off her ass was funny. It was a hassle getting her home but it was funny as hell. Way more chill than she normally is...
Was. I wouldn't even know now.
Anyway, my eyes searched for a place to sit at under my black shades. My hands settled in my black crop top jacket, my legs comfortable in my ripped back skinnies, and part of my hair covered my face just to stay out of the limelight for the evening.
The town hated the band and I couldn't blame them. After listening back on the album, T was right. We sounded terrible and society definitely had their opinions on our newest music. The Twitter and Instagram comments were ridiculous. People could tell that there was something going on between us and, by 'us', I mean Kathryn and I.
After everything with the band and my wife, the last place I wanted to be was in the public eye, giving me hell about how terrible our music sounds and cracking jokes. In fact, a song from the album placed through the speakers at the bar and my ears instantly melted. Why did everything sound offkey? Like we were all playing our own thing?
Drinkers all around were mocking us while laughing and covering their ears in disgust. Comments about the band being a disgrace to the town and having no hope in music anymore swarmed around the place.
What the hell were we thinking? The person playing this song had to be joking by playing this particular song. What made us think that adding a rap flare to our music would do any good? Maybe we just chose the wrong person to rap because Kathryn had no kind of rap flow. That had to be a budget decision. Lisa getting cheaper by the dozen, not willing to get an actual local rapper for the song.
Finally got to settle down in a lonely booth towards the back of the bar. My eyes studied everything around the bar. The 70's decorations in the bathrooms, the few TVs that hung from the walls, the low lighting in the place.
What really caught my eye was the small stage filled with different instruments. The want to play that bass that sat against the wall rushed away in hiding after remembering how I got to this point in my life. It was as it was a curse. Running my fingers across any strings or keys would cause damage to another area in my life.
An elderly couple, around their 60s, walked up to a bright and colorful jukebox with disappointed looks on their faces, exchanging words back and forth while shaking their heads at the so-called 'youthful' music playing. Popping in a coin, the woman picked a song and held her partner's hand on the way back to their table.
Thank goodness they changed the song. This embarrassed feeling was for the birds and the song itself made my head hurt, not realizing how sensual the song came about.
Rubbing my hands over my face from so much stress, a waitress came up to ask what I'd like to drink. Jack is the only man I'd ever have feelings for so he was ordered for the evening to make me feel better somehow.
The sound of a familiar piano played through the speakers after ordering the drink and a quick smile fell over my face again. There goes that genius piano man that I got to see three years ago. Jess bought tickets to see him in concert and that's when she was introduced to Billy Joel.
He blared through the speakers and almost everyone danced and sang along in a drunken state. I was surprised to see these people still clapping on beat while having a good time. It was a good vibe.
Smart people knew the My Life writer anywhere and it warmed me up a little seeing people of different ages singing along to the lyrical intellect. The song was genius and true, pertaining to my own life.
Everyone's got something to say about the way my life is going all the time. I end up trying to live the way they expect me to until the fuck ups start because of the need to do my own thing. Talk about being a free spirit.
That's probably how I got here, listening to whatever everyone else wanted and not doing things for myself. Doing what was right for my own life. Maybe that's how everything got ruined. My family, some friendships, my marriage, my career...
My career. If I even have one of those anymore.
While vibing to the song, my eyes moved over towards the empty bar and caught a few eyes studying this lonely redhead in the cut. The green-eyed blonds with nothing up top but pretty in the back watched me in interest. I was surprised chicks still looked at me like that but not disappointed.
Sitting back and feeling the liquid courage that slid down my throat, my left hand tapped onto a recognizable item in my jacket pocket. Pulling out the familiar item, my eyes studied the small notebook and pen. My fingers flipped through the pages and found a few words written on the pages.
They looked like song lyrics and it amazed me how familiar they sounded. Almost as if I'd heard these lyrics before somewhere. The similar words scrambled across my mind as I could hear the tone of the songs with each sip of my drink. The drink began burning my insides.
Why was I so angry?
Feeling so bitter, tears strolled from my eyes down to my collarbone, struggling to remember how I knew these lyrics. The song was definitely a love song but to who? Could've been to Carmon for all I know. The only memory of this tiny notebook was years ago when I was still in high school and this was the thing that got me through.
The sweet taste of honey drips off my tongue so free,
The warmest day in June lies within your arms, making me feel complete;
To love, to caress, to be free.
Yeah, no. This was definitely not a song for Carmon. It was for somebody else. Maybe if I had an idea of when I wrote it then I'd know for sure who it was-
And there it was. The date written at the end of the song and my signature. September 11th, 2013. It was Jess' birthday and...and...
Why can't I remember what happened that day? Fuck!
"Aye, look who it is!"
Oh shit! Someone spotted my secret ass in the back?! Low lighting?! Seriously?!
Rushing to put my notebook back in my pocket, I hoped out of the booth without even thinking to pay for my drink. Suddenly, the familiar guy stopped me halfway with his muscular arm sticking out.
My shoulders relaxed realizing who it really was. Damn, where'd the pecks come from? Have I been out of the loop for that long?
"Chill out, Jay. You're really going to leave without paying your tab? I can't pay that one for ya. Go back and sit down so you can chill out. I'm the only one who knows who you really are. Spotted ya like the ugly duckling."
Of course, the blonde business man would spot me out in a small crowd like this. Hell, he could spot me out in a full crowd at a Bonnaroo event. It wouldn't have mattered to him. Somehow, he knows all of us like the back of his hand. It's only been a couple of years.
Thank goodness it was just Carmon's husband though. Had it been anyone else, I would've taken off and never looked back.
I walked back towards the booth that kept me out of the public eye in a sense and Trent sat across from me. As he walked behind me, people stopped him and he talked with everybody with a positive attitude. This is why I chose to sit back here. Didn't want everyone talking to me but, with Trent sitting with me, that was going to change things.
"Damn, they're playing some good shit in here. Isn't this Billy Joel?" he asked while whistling for one of the waitresses to come with a drink for him.
He had no problems with people noticing him. Trent was that kind of guy that was down for a good time and wasn't worried about people stacking up to talking to him. He just brought that energy. Hell, the waitresses were fighting to serve his drink. That's how bad it was.
Two of them came over to serve one drink to the man and one smirked my way before they walked back together. Though pulling women is nice from time to time, having the love your life in your arms is much better.
"Jay, why the sunglasses in a dark bar? Take those things off." He tried to reach for my sunglasses but I slapped his hand away. If only he knew the reason why.
"Look, I'm not like you. You're different. Everybody doesn't hate you right now. Touch my shades and I'll break your fingers."
"Jay, nobody hates you. Where'd you get that from?"
"Says the man that everyone adores. You're not part of a whack ass band who's trying to catch the youth's attention in the worst way, okay? Everybody hates that band and guess who's a member of it? And, to make things better, my wife wants a divorce. Ain't life grand?"
His face changed from happy-go-lucky to confused as he put his beer bottle on the tape. That's what I said though, isn't it?
"Woman, where'd you get that from? She doesn't want to divorce you."
"Lie again, Trent. Nobody had to tell me that. She showed up at the hospital and dropped her ring in my hand, leaving before I could wake up and see her. Who else would have her ring and put it in my hand like that?"
Trent shook his head at my words, wanting to deny the whole event but I bet he wasn't even there. It was hard to not be distracted as everyone else kept singing to Billy Joel hits.
"Even if she did, I don't think she'd go through with it. That's just my opinion. Maybe she just some time to have fun or whatever. Anyway, you missed the wedding. It was pretty nice."
Damn, I forgot all about Tiff and Bryce's wedding. Well, it was probably for the best anyhow, knowing that Jess would be there with some random guy. It would eat me alive. The idea of her being with a man at all drives me insane.
"Yeah, I had some things to take care of. Hopefully, I run into them somewhere and we'll all catch up."
Being disconnected from my circle of friends was hard but I'm sure they'd understand why I stopped talking to them. It just wasn't the right time to be with them all together.
"And those things were more important than your friends? Jana, despite what you think, the girls don't hate you or put Jess before you. You should reach out to them so they know you're alright."
"Let Jess reach out for them right now. She needs them more than I do. I'll be okay."
"Jana, it's not a battle of the friends here. Okay? Don't sit up here and let what's going on with you and Jess disturb your friendship with everyone else."
He sat back after that and looked at me with a knowing look on his face. We just sat there silently and sipped on our drinks for a while until he sparked up the conversation again.
"You know that new album was a complete flop, right? Who produced that shit and told y'all that it was good? You know your music and let them push that shit out there? It was like listening to a whole zoo in one song. Zoo in one song, angry pirates in the next. You can do way better than that."
Honestly, I didn't know because I barely remember recording it. Thinking about the songs on the album, I took a sip of the drink and there went that liquid anger sliding to my stomach. The lyrics to some of those songs...
My hand reached for the small notebook again just to look at the songs in there and bam! There was my answer. The band used my songs in my tiny notebook. How the hell did they even find the notebook? Did they even get permission from me to use the songs in my book?
Really, the only difference was the fact that they changed the tone and genre of the songs. That and they changed Jess' name to my songs to Kathryn's. How did I miss this?
They. Ruined. My. Love. Songs. That's why I was so angry and rightfully so.
Rocking back and forth to let my anger subside, I opened up with "I know but I wasn't in my right frame of mind. How the hell was I supposed to know when they don't tell me shit? I just play what they tell me and move out the way. They do the rest..."
Trent slammed his beer bottle on the table while giving me a frustrating glare and pointing at me. "Jay, this is when you stop following directions! You didn't follow directions with a normal job and look where you are. Stop letting everyone tell you what to do. Seems like this ain't the band you need to be in."
You got that right, Trent, and I'll get my revenge on them when it's the right time. It's just that I can't sing like Kat can and how can I make music without singing to it?
"You ever thought about letting different local upcoming singers collab with you?" Trent asked as we thought of ways to go solo.
That wasn't a bad idea. That never crossed my mind but it makes so much sense. There's a lot of talent around here because we're so close to Music City. Why the hell not try that suggestion?
Sipping on my beer, I watched as the band came on stage to perform a quick song the customers requested. They asked what we wanted to listened to and a memory of a chill studio session with Jess came about. She'd ask us to play something from the Beatles, Queen, Elton John. She knew nothing about them until I introduced them to her and loved them after that.
Kat was totally against playing anything from them but anything for my girl back then, right? Playing all those songs sparked some good hits though. Writing most of the songs while watching my honey jar smile at me. She'd even give some input on the songs. From time to time, she'd help me write them-
Hold the hell up. How did I not say anything to Lisa about writing all those songs? Why didn't I get paid for it? That's probably why Kat was so flirty with me. That's it. Payback is a bitch. Winking at me like this waitress did as she brought more beers.
"I have a question for you. Aren't you part of the Bases? You play bass guitar, don't you? Why don't you do one of your songs on stage?"
After the waitress asked me that, the band asked to for another song request and all the bar customers looked back at the waitress calling for me to sing something. Here we go.
"Oh, Jay, go play something. Hell, you owe us for that hair-losing album y'all put out. You won't get any beer bottles thrown at you. I promise," Trent encouraged as everyone else chanted for me to play something.
Well, can't argue with that, I guess. I actually wanted to do something different. Guitar was all I had known but I had some piano knowledge under my belt too. Having a dad that gave me piano lessons was surely helpful.
Since we were singing Billy Joel songs, why not play one of my favorites? Everyone was watching me in excitement as my nerves got the best of me. Studying those piano keys, I could remember playing this get-lucky song with Jess years ago. I just hope my piano playing wouldn't disappoint like the band's album did.
Phones were out, anticipating on what I'd play for them. One hard gulp in and my eyes moved over towards the rest of the musicians, ready to just follow my lead. Fuck, Jana. You can do this. Just play it like your best friends are here.
Playing the first few notes, I got into the tone of the song and the musicians just caught on not even ten seconds in. They knew exactly what I was playing and it felt good so my fingers naturally took over while I enjoyed this feeling.
"Ali dances and the audience applauds
Though he's bathed in sweat he hasn't lost his style
Ali don't you go downtown
You gave away another round for free, woah"
There it goes! Zanzibar just flowed through my fingers as I sang the song and everybody in the bar was so hyped. They sang all the words with me as they danced and smiled. The looks on their faces as they recorded us vibing off the genius piano man.
"Me, I'm just another face at Zanzibar
But the waitress always serves a secret smile, woah
She's waiting out in Shantytown
She's gonna pull the curtains down for me, for me"
"Play that shit, Jay! Rock it out!" Trent hollered as he took a sip of his beer and swayed back and forth back there. That just got me into the song even more. It was like my veins rejuvenated themselves, making me come alive again as my old self.
"I've got the old man's car
I've got a jazz guitar
I've got a tab at Zanzibar
Tonight that's where I'll be, I'll be"
The freedom of playing whatever I wanted made me feel so active, forgetting all about this feeling in my years with that song-stealing band. Just settling for that kind of treatment to make a small piece of change. This was much more liberating and I could make my own money off this.
The sounds of the saxophone, the guitars, and drums made me smile through the small tears that came from my eyes. Not because of my subpar singing but because it was finally my chance to be myself through one of my favorite songs. This was the break I needed.
After playing that song, the bar customers cheered and a few pleaded for me to go solo. Here came the others wanting pictures, autographs, exchange phone numbers. Good thing Trent got me out of there so fast.
"Watch out, people! This rock star has to hit the road. You wanna catch up with her? Look out for her solo music! We'll put her on the map!"
Trent and I escaped as security moved in to block them from following us. That was such a jovial experience and it was just what I needed. Inspiration to do my own thing.
"Now I remember why I didn't go out to bars with you anymore. We were about to get overthrown by the drunken mob! But at least we know that people at the Zanzibar still love the bass player from the Bases."
Wait a minute! Who?
Looking over my shoulder, I saw the three American fluorescent colors shine light on the bars name. The neon sign...
Zanzibar...How ironic.
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What's up folks?!
Bam! Jana would always play Billy Joel when all of us hung out together at Carmon and Tiff's aunt's house. Like no joke. Granny didn't wanna hear it so we all went to Carmon and Tiff's aunt's place.
So, do you think that Jana will succeed in her new inspiring career or will something interrupt her going about it?
Please tell me what you thought of the chapter! This was pretty fun but next week, the girls gotta see the doctor. (Hint hint)
See you guys next Saturday or Thursday if I feel like it! Love ya!
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