No matter how many songs we played, praising his Holy name with smiles on our faces, she wouldn't leave my thoughts. Her unique laugh wouldn't escape my thoughts and I could feel her lightly kissing my cheek before leaving for the office.

It had to be God's way of saying that I was wrong but I left to prove a point. It was right after the honeymoon. Pissed of at the idea that my own wife lied to me, I left anyway.

No, I didn't want to leave her. In fact, it wasn't the same without her. Maybe it just wasn't realistic with her being on tour with me because she was pregnant but that's not the main reason why she couldn't come.

Now, Tiff knows how it feels when somebody doesn't tell her anything. Did it make me feel any better? Did my actions fix things? Absolutely not because revenge doesn't taste as sweet when it happens to someone you care about.

Before we got married, we made a pact to always be honest. We promised each other that we'd always be open with each other and love each other no matter what. I felt like Tiff broke that pact.

What made her feel like she couldn't tell me she was pregnant? That's one of the most important things she should've told me as soon as she knew about it.

Granted, we agreed to not have kids because we both didn't care for them. Tiff was the main one against kids because her niece scared her out of having children. Apparently, Loraina was the worst kid she's ever been around but she still loves her.

However, we mess up sometimes. It happens, especially how we made love to each other. You'd think it was boring because of the lifestyle we live in front of the public. It was bound to happen.

We could've been on everything and use all the protection in the world but my little swimmers still found their way around the canal and to the nucleus, attaching themselves and making a baby.

How could I be frustrated about that?

You don't tell me that my swimmers created another life? That's when I get pissed off. Like you're lying because you think I'd be comfortable with not knowing. Scared to tell me because of what we agreed on.

Maybe I didn't make her feel as comfortable enough for her to tell me. What is trust if we can't be honest with each other though?

"Hey, Bryce! I was told to come back here and check up on ya. You walked off the stage pretty fast once the lights went off. Everything okay?" Aaron, the drummer, walked into a church classroom they had us set up in for relaxation and breaks.

"Tell me, Aaron. Does it look like I'm okay to you?"

Couldn't blame me for being a little snappy. Wrong time, wrong mood so just excuse it.

"Well, you don't look okay to me but that doesn't mean things can't change. Okay, my bad. I was just told to come check on you. Tell me what's going on with you."

Let's not because that's another thing for everyone to worry about. Another thing that the guys can gossip about behind our backs. I've never heard a bunch of men chatter about all the members of the church. Well, everyone that's tried to critique us during practice. That was many members.

Plus, when everyone close to me starts talking, I get too comfortable and start talking as well.

And that's exactly what just happened.

Aaron's a big guy so you can feel when he comes into a room but he's one of the most positive, encouraging, and healthy guys out there. He'll keep a secret in a second and will respect your privacy. Good person to talk to.

My hands were all over my face as he sat right beside me on the couch. Persuading me the words out of me, he made this small conversation into a long discussion. He'd ask me questions to get a concise idea of what happened.

"So that's why you've been feeling like this since you stepped on the bus... Well, I'll be honest. It's definitely your fault. I can't disagree with Tiffany on this one here."

"Really, Aaron? Are you kidding me? Was that supposed to be your way of making me feel better? Because you're not helping at all. Are you sure you're here to help me or point the finger because-"

"Think about it, Bryce. You left your pregnant wife out of revenge that wasn't meant for you to act upon. Sure, you can be mad or whatever, but you could've proved your point a different way. You just leaving her was the worst thing you could've done, all because you wanted your payback. God does the payback and you continue living your life."

He really wasn't helping but I sat back and continued listening just because.

"It would make sense if you were in a hurry or you had no option but come on the road. However, you didn't have to come with us. You know we're considerate when it comes to family. Plus, if I go into what God says about revenge, I'll start preaching. You should already know though."

And I know about that but this human life wasn't asked for so mistakes are bound to happen. In that moment, I wasn't thinking about Tiff's feelings or what God would've thought about my actions that night. All that mattered to me was leaving so I didn't go off on my wife. It just happened out of anger.

Now, I just miss Tiff and the guilt is just building on itself the longer I stick around.

Aaron stood up and grabbed my phone just to pass it to me.

"Call your wife and make things right. She may be ruthless and very blunt at times but she's better than she used to be. All the years I've known her, she's definitely gotten better. Just talk to her."

Something I pride her on. Tiff used to have such a stick up her ass and step on everyone that was in her way, including me. It took so much time to break that barrier she held up. When asking her to marry me, she hesitated and asked me to give her a while to think about it. Then she accepted the ring after a few months.

Now the only thing going up her ass is-

"Bryce, don't hesitate to talk to her. Call her up and apologize. Tell her how you feel." Aaron caught me before my nasty thoughts caught up with me.

Thank you for Aaron, God, because it's a hard battle.

I dialed her number, because I knew it by heart, and the dial tone rang twice. Tension rising as I waited for somebody to answer. If she didn't answer, we knew what that meant.

"Tiffany's Future Fashion Hotline! Assistant Patty speaking!" Speaking her future business into existence, Patty answered the phone with excitement.

Tiff always comes home, after a long day at that place, and prays for her own fashion empire. We both fall on our knees and pray for not just her future business but for our marriage, our friends, our families, and just each other's spirits. I miss those moments and it's only been a few weeks.

"Hey, Patty. Can I speak to my wife?"

They were definitely not pleased with who was on the other end of the phone, judging by their sigh and clearing of the throat. You can envision the eyeroll. Eventually, I overheard Patty convince Tiff that it was a surprise who was on the phone.

"Tiffany Pogue's office."

So, she's not still mad at me if she's still using my last name.

"Can we please talk? It's important."

"Wait, who is this?"

Was my number not saved anymore on her phone? Was she that mad at me or-

Never mind. I called the office number and forgot to call her personal phone. Good thing I didn't call that number because she probably wouldn't have answered.

"It's your husband, your partner, and now baby's father. I'd like to talk to you, please."

The silence on the receiving end didn't sit well with me at all. She was quiet as if she was annoyed with me until "You say 'baby's father' like you don't want to be...just like I figured."

Well, that was the wrong thing to say but I said it because I thought it was a good thought. Being her baby daddy seemed more exciting the more I heard her voice.

Tough tone drenched with the predicted attitude she has every time she's bothered or aggravated. This was no time to argue with her so I just sat back and listened as she went on with her frustrations.

"But let me do the talking because I have so much to address. Why the hell would you leave me without talking to me? Without so much as a touch on the shoulder? Without throwing a pillow at me to warn me that you're leaving me? You left me for this long ass concert tour, not even thinking about what you were leaving behind."

Trying to answer her questions, she interrupted me with "You know how I am about that, especially after I confessed to you what happened to me as a teen. You make me want to squish your head to the point where it pops. You make me want to-"

A sniffle came from the phone speaker and I came to terms that she was crying. A quick sob because Tiff hates crying in front of people.

"I make you want to leave me, don't I? If only you were in my shoes, felt what I did when I found out the way I did. The fact that this news never came from you makes me sick to my stomach, honestly. You lied to me. What made you think you had to hide that from me, Tiff?" I spoke in frustration as my hand fell upon my forehead.

"The promise we made to each other about not having babies. We promised to be careful when making love and to consistently see the doctor to keep from having these problems. Boom, look what happened. We slipped up and created what we didn't want. That's why I didn't say anything. You don't know how ashamed I feel."

We sat on the phone quietly for a while before Tiffany began sniffling again.

"Now, we have to take care of what we made together. A new life." I interrupted the awkward silence before waiting for a response.

"Don't worry about it because I already have a plan. I don't want to talk about it while at work."

She better not be thinking what I believe she is.

Her sobs grew in volume after that statement and it just confirmed exactly what I was thinking. The phone fell to the floor as my hands covered my face to keep me from crying. Please don't tell me she's trying to do what I think she's trying to do, God.

"Tiffany, listen to me. This child wasn't asked to be created and you have so much support behind you and Bryce, okay? This is just an extra gift that God has blessed both of you with. Don't ruin what God's planned for the both of you."

Aaron intercepted as I sat back in distress. Eventually, warm tears fell from my eyes as he convinced Tiff out of her plans. Who knew that a baby could cause these many emotions between multiple people?

Aaron put her on speaker as Tiff continued with "It's my body, my choice, Aaron. It's not what we wanted so this is the only option I have. We'll be okay. Now, you guys can go back to your tour because I'm at work."

We?! Who is we?! If 'we' was her and that child, I wouldn't understand. That thought swimming through my brain pissed me off because of how she was thinking. By the time I got home, it would've already been done and that's not what I wanted anymore. A pure life being taken from us because of a stupid expired statement we agreed on before marriage.

"This is one promise that you and Bryce can forget about, Tiffany. Just don't let your emotions put another life in danger, please. Don't destroy something that was meant for you both. It wouldn't have happened if it wasn't meant for you two."

My hands were over my face again as Aaron persuaded Tiff not to go through with this. I had no words because this was all a first for me. Mixed emotions within me as Tiff and Aaron with back and forth.

It's time for me to end this.

Snatching the phone from Aaron, I screamed with "That's it, Tiff! You've always believed you've had the upper hand in this marriage but, this time, I'm calling the shots here. This is where I stop the foolishness. I dare you to mess with this child. You'll wish you had another husband and a place to live. I promise to God, Tiff! Fuck that damn promise! We can make this work but you're overthinking this shit over a stupid promise that was made years ago."

Once of the few times I've ever yelled at my spouse and she wept even harder over the phone. An awkward tap on my shoulder and it was Aaron reminding me that we shouldn't be cursing in the church.

Excuse me for being human and letting my emotions take over. Something connected me with that unborn child already and I wasn't even a fan of kids. Maybe it was because that was my child. I made that child with my own seed and she wants to get rid of it.

The baby would have a mother, a father, and a strong support system. Why would she want to get rid of it? To bread with someone else? That would still cause future complications if we decided to actually plan for a kid.

I wanted that baby because it was mine.

Tears continued falling from my face and hit the floor as we sat quietly over the phone. I could overhear Patty holler at Tiff about her thoughts to get rid of the baby that was in her. They were not happy about her decisions. The fact that she'd even think to do this drove me insane.

"You...You....You promise...Oh goodness, I can't even speak. Bryce, you promise we'll be okay if we have this child?" I heard Tiff stutter and sniffle through the phone.

"Tiffany, just okay?! Woman, that baby will be blessed beyond belief! It'll be loved by everybody, touched by the power of God, and probably spoiled on all ends! Tiffany, you have an amazing gift inside your stomach right now and will grow to love more and more each day. God doesn't just give random people gifts like this. He gives his true warriors, his true believers gifts, like this because he knows that they'll be more than okay."

"HALLELUJAH! Thank ya, Jesus! Praise the Lo-hord!"

You can hear Patty praising in the background, agreeing to all of Aaron's encouraging words. See what I mean about Aaron? His wife is one blessed woman.

"This is an amazing moment that we will continue to pray about! A moment a gratefulness and happiness! You guys should be excited because I know I am and it's not even mine! We're gonna have a little band baby! Bryce, go ahead and see your wife. You have an important reason to. Be by your wife as this baby is growing inside her. I'll make sure the guys know you had to leave for an emergency. That's it." Aaron hugged me tightly in love and let me leave the church.

Then I realized...how was I supposed to get home if I was still on tour and she was still working? Well, I had to call Ubers, take buses and trains to get back home. Either way, we've got a baby Pogue coming and, for once in my life, I felt grateful for it. No matter what it came out to be.

****
What's up, folks?!

Alright, alright, alright. It's been a minute but hey! I didn't edit this at all so I'm just posting it because this book has now turned into my little world. I don't even care about misspellings anymore. If you're reading, I hope you've enjoyed it!

Please tell me what you think of this chapter.

Please don't be mad at me for the next one.

Anyway, what do you think the gender of the Pogue's baby will be? What are you hoping for?

Tiff has so much support surrounding her. She should be so grateful.

Well, if you've followed the girls until now...be prepared to cry. Okay, byeeeeee!

Love ya!