Happy Screwed Saturday, folks!

Anyway, please see the triggers that are in the summary of this book!

You may continue! 💜🤫
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"Mooooooommmmyyyyyyy! Where are my shoes?!" Raina yelled throughout the house to finish off her colorful outfit for our trip to the park.

It was officially summer break for this little chipmunk and she was excited to spend more time with me after we got back from the beach. I was amazed at how much time she wanted to spend with me. She would come into my room and wonder what I was reading. She would bring her books in my room and read to me. We even wrote a couple of words together and started our own little story.

I really wonder how I got so lucky to be part of this little girl's life. She is like the brightest star in a sky full of stars.

Loraina was nothing like your typical seven year old. She was smarter than people thought. She may not speak like it, but she was more knowledgeable than any second grader I worked with.

Nowadays, children are so caught up in social media because they have access to it and they like to be nosey. They watch shows that aren't exactly appropriate for their age group and are easily influenced by what's happening around them. They're living in a technology world that they didn't ask to be in. It was just pushed into it.

Loraina was different. Not to toot my own horn but I'd like to say I was the driving force behind all of that. Had Auntie Rena not taken little Raina under her wing, Carmon would have pushed this technological craving onto her. The only thing that Raina likes to do with technology is watch TV and play video games. That's just the way I like it. She's too young for all of this new-aged stuff. That makes me sound so old, but it's true.

Anyway, Carmon tumbled from her room with Raina's blue tennis shoes that had the diamonds at the tips of them. Those were shoes that I got her for her birthday since we didn't get to celebrate it exactly. Raina wanted to dress herself for this trip and she decided to wear some shorts with leggings underneath with her blue 'free hugs' t-shirt. Lets not forget the little high pigtails she put in her hair with blue ribbons. That's my girl.

As Carmon came out of her room looking like a mummy, I couldn't help but eye the oven clock. It was 11 in the morning and this girl was still sleeping. She was hanging out with Jana for way too long. Usually, she's up by now and she didn't do any partying last night.

"Here ya go, girly. You have fun and be nice to your Auntie Rena. Understand?" Carmon explained as she kneeled by Raina and attempted to put her shoes on her. Little did she know...

"Mommy, I can do it. Let me do it," Raina said as she took the shoes and put them on herself. She may have taken a while to do it, but she tied her shoes on her own and Carmon looked at me with so much shock in her eyes. Once again, I say...that's my girl.

"Rena, how'd my baby learn how to tie her shoes so soon?" Carmon asked standing up from the ground and folding her arms.

"I taught her. You can't hear her singing the shoe-tying song?" I smiled as we overhear her singing the song while still struggling to tie her shoes.

"You make a looptie loop and pull and...NOOOOOOO! Start all over," Raina grunted in an aggravated way as she undid them and tried again. That's something else she was taught. To always try again until she got it right. Like myself, she was determined to do something until it was right. It may not be the first time she'd get it right, but she never stopped until it was right.

"Well, look at you. Might as well call you Raina's mother, huh?" My ears heard a bothered Carmon right before I saw her march off towards her room.

You'd think that she would be all lovey dovey since she spent her whole weekend with her boss, his child, and Raina. A jealous feeling came off of her as I saw her strut back to her room and I didn't want her to feel like I was taking all of Raina's attention.

Before she opened the door to her room, I stopped her with "Are you sure you don't want to go to the park with us. It's really nice outside and-"

"Don't pull that shit, Rena. Just glad that I actually got time with her this whole weekend. I'll just go to sleep. Have fun," Carmon snarled at me for absolutely no reason.

Why was she looking at me like that? Why was she cussing at me for? Why was she so angry with me? Did Trent so much of a number on her that she was cranky? Did she need more numbers done on her or something? Damn...

"I wasn't pulling anything, Carmon. I just didn't want you to-"

"It's okay, Mommy. You had a lot of fun with us this weekend. Now, Auntie Rena can have lots of fun with me. Bye, Mommy," Raina interrupted as she pulled me from the living space and out the door.

I felt terrible about Carmon because this was her child and she was mad because we were spending more time together. We enjoy our time together and she's not my goddaughter for no reason. Carmon asked me to be her godmother before she was born because she thought I'd be a good role model for her. Now that I'm actually doing my job as a godmother, she wants to get mad?

This is CARMON'S child, but she picks and chooses when to play Mom. If anyone should be bothered, I think it should be me since Raina gets pushed off on me every time. How do you get upset about something you caused? I don't understand that.

But enough of placing the blame on my best friend. Instead of entertaining her unexplainable frustrations, I just pay her no mind and walked away. Or get pulled away by the tiny human that's excited for the park.

Her excitement made me feel so much better. She could brighten an entire room and nobody know where the light was coming from because she's so small. Her energy was so big and positive that I would actually sit in the grass for her.

Once we got into the car, we buckled ourselves into the car and Raina spoke with "Auntie Rena, I'm old enough to be in the big girl seat now."

My eyes watched her through the rearview mirror as she giggled and kicked her feet with joy. This girl really knew how to put the spark in someone's day She keeps us so calm and helps us come together as friends.

My smile couldn't be hidden as I overheard her talking to herself about her weekend with Carmon's boss and her new friend. How they all went to see a movie and ate ice cream. How 'Mr. Trent' made ice cream come from his nose and they all laughed.

What was crazy about all of this was that she was talking like she really had another friend in the car with her. Now that I think about it, I'm sure that this little adventurer had an imaginary adventurer along with her. She was spilling everything to this imaginary friend she had and I didn't stop her.

That's what I believe is wrong with children today. They aren't allowed to use their imaginations because society has pushed them to come to reality when, in all actuality, these children need imagination and need it bad. The last thing I would tell Raina to do is to stop talking to herself because it's unrealistic.

You ever notice how children don't care to do art projects anymore or they can't tell stories anymore without another child debunking their stories because it's not true to them? That has to tell us something.

Raina and her imaginary friend reminded me of a time when I had an imaginary friend. He wasn't exactly imaginary because he was actually Greg from The Brady Bunch...and I saw him as my boyfriend at the time...but our relationship was imaginary so it counts. How I thought he was cute even though he was about 50 years older than me, I will never know.

So we finally arrived at the park and Raina shouted "Come on, Jasmine! Let's go to the park!" and I wondered who Jasmine was as she jumped out of the car. Then, I got worried because she just jumped out of the car without me.

Luckily, when I opened the door and grabbed the basket, my eyes landed on a jumping Raina just examining the enormous playground ahead. Her grey eyes shined in the natural sunlight and sparkles of happiness surrounded her eyes. It was like a picture perfect moment with her messy dark brown ponytail flowing in the breeze, her tight smile plastered across her face, her cheeks turning a bright red color, and her ears all perky. It was a face only an auntie could love. She was a sight for sore eyes...consider my eyes a bit sore.

She took my hand and led me to a shaded grassy area while I struggled to lock the car doors. This area was surrounded by many trees and few tables but Raina was so adamant about sitting in this specific spot by a small stream of water. The trickling water made me want to go to the bathroom, but I was like Tiffany when it came to public bathrooms. We never use them because of how dirty they are. My bladder could hold it until I got back home.

As soon as we fixed up our picnic spot, Loraina placed her body across the thick blanket and just studied the water flowing down the stream. She started talking to her imaginary- Jasmine as I looked through the basket and pulled out our picnic materials.

"Auntie Rena, Jasmine and I think this is some pretty water. Have you been here before?" I heard a light child's voice speak. My heart jumped at the words as I fixed up the tea set.

Looking out and around the park, my eyes landed on a familiar area and a smile curled up across my face remembering that area like it was yesterday. "Yes, Raina. Your aunties and I would always play here when I was your age. We would play in that ditch over there and have secret meetings there. Auntie Jay introduced us to that ditch."

Chuckling at the abundance of memories flowing through my mind, I turned back to set up the little tea party some more. I laid out the tiny sandwiches on the fine toy china plates and poured our warm tea in our small tea cups.

This moment alone made my ovaries jump because I've always wanted my own children. Who doesn't want to bare their own children with someone they truly love? I wondered if I could really have them though. Of course, marriage was the first thing I wanted before children but watching my old high school friends on Facebook get married and have children made me feel like I was behind the times.

Maybe this was God's way of saying that it just wasn't my time yet, but I can't help but feel upset. Even Jess and Jana were getting married. Tiff and Carmon already had partners and Carmon already has a daughter. While I'm still that hopeless romantic looking for love in all the wrong places and wonder why actual good people don't have children. Those wonderful teachers, those paternal neighbors, the people that children actually look up to because those people treat them like treasures.

Why do they not have children? They help make the world a brighter place and help our children see that there are still amazing people out there. My heart sinks at the thought every time.

"Hey, little girl. Are you lost?" I overheard a random woman's voice speak softly, taking me out of my lingering thoughts, as what sounded like her husband called someone in a panic. My eyes immediately looked around for Raina and they landed on a pale woman speaking to her. My heart began to panic.

"No ma'am. Jasmine and I are okay. My auntie is here with us. She's right there," Raina spoke as she pointed to me with a smile on her face. She skipped over to me with her and Jasmine hand in hand while the black-haired woman followed behind her. It was strange and I wanted to go into defense mode.

"Honey, anybody can tell you that they are your auntie. This woman is not your aunt because she doesn't look like you. We need to find your mom so you can be safe, okay?" The woman proclaimed as my eyes and mouth widened.

She tried to grab Raina and I blocked her from touching her. My head tilted in confusion and my mind instantly went to an idea that this could possibly be a racial issue.

Unfortunately, in times like this, people like me constantly have to think this way and keep our guard up. Many people believe we're pulling what they consider 'the black card', however, this is our life. We can't coexist in a pool filled of hungry ignorant sharks without turning around in circles to protect ourselves. We can't swim freely.

"Excuse me. Is there an issue? This is my goddaughter and we're just here to have a picnic, ma'am. If we're-"

"Yes, there is an issue and it's you. You are the issue. Why are you feeding this poor, innocent, and vulnerable child lies? You're an absolute disgusting human, you know that right?" she insulted me as she ordered her husband to take Raina with her fingers, but I held her by my side as she wrapped her arms around me.

"Well, isn't that ironic? How the mother of this child lives with me-"

"Oh so you kidnapped her and you're manipulating her. You know the police are coming after you, right? This is so wrong of you to hold a child captive and manipulate her into doing what you want her to do. People like you take everything from us because you can't make your own."

And that's when it all blew up in my face. I couldn't take my white goddaughter on a peaceful picnic due to the color of my skin. Because my blackness is a threat and I couldn't help but feel guilty somehow. Even though there are some people with the same skin color as me that do dangerous things, that doesn't mean we all do those things.

There were too many emotions going though me because I had to come to terms that this was my life. Raina didn't feel any better than I did. "Auntie Rena, I'm so scared. What's going on?"

Suddenly, three police cars showed up and my nervousness kicked in and many people at the part surrounded the scene with camera phones all over us. There was no need for that many police cars to be there but again...my skin was crawling with goosebumps because I was the threat. I'm a 21-year-old childcare giver that just wanted to have tea with my goddaughter, but to the public...

I was a thug trying to kidnap a young white little girl. It was so embarrassing.

"Come on, honey. You can't be around this dangerous woman anymore. The police are going to take her away as we help you find your mommy," the instigating woman pulled Raina away as she tried to stay on me. The tears coming down Raina's eyes tore my heart to shreds and made me feel like I failed her.

The police walked up on the scene and the woman finally got her off my legs. I just stood there with my hands up and open like they just asked me to. My eyes closed in shame and I tried to concentrate on my breathing. I wanted to snatch my sweet girl back but there would have been some shooting happening and I thought about how Raina just came from that type of environment. We didn't need anymore animosity and problems.

I feared for my life, my goddaughter's life, and everyone else's life that was standing around me. A bullet never has a specific name on it. It could hit anybody and that's why I complied.

Feeling a strong hand wrap around my wrists, tears fell from my eyes. The cool metal met with my wrists as they were held behind my back and my heart fell. This was my first time going to jail but if it meant that no one would shoot, it was okay. I was scared and hurt, wondering why I had to be born with darker skin.

Then I realized why I was born this way. To be one of those humans who brings hope into the world. God wasn't done with me.

"Ma'am, you're just being handcuffed so we can address the situation easier," the tanned man looked me in my eyes and studied my saddened look. At this point, my eyes hurt and my face was drowning in tears. I knew my hands shouldn't have been behind my back. I knew that this wasn't supposed to happen, but it did because there's been others before me that acted out. They believed I would too and it was a shame that they could think that way. Maybe I should look on the bright side. At least they didn't manhandle me.

"STOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!" I heard an unexpected loud scream come from a tiny body as the police officer asked for the woman's side of the story while her long manicured fingers held my little light back.

Sniffles coming from Raina sounded loudly as those once gleaming gray eyes turned dark and sad. "Please, Officer! Tell this lady to let go of me! That's my auntie you tied up! My mommy and her are best friends! She lives with me! Her name is Rena and my mommy's name is Carmon. Please help her! Let her go! For me! I love her!"

My sweet niece cried out and sounded as she broke down with her head falling down to the ground. My tears came down faster watching Raina break down. She was always so happy and this hurt her so much. She didn't understand what was going on around her and she was in the middle of all of this.

"You see what this n-"

"Wait a minute. Did you say Carmon is your mom? Carmon Barrett? You must be Loraina. Your mom and I used to be...uh...really good friends. She talked a lot about you. You really know this woman?" the police officer said as he pointed towards me and kneeled down by Raina.

She nodded her head and wiped her drenched face as the police officer stood at her words and looked over to me. He turned back to the white woman as she shouted with "Please tell me you're not considering this manipulated little girl's words. Do you not see how this thugette black whore-"

"ENOUGH, Mrs. Whitworth! This little girl knows her and it looks like they were just having a picnic in the park. She's in good hands. Thanks for your...'concerns' but she's okay. Now let her go," the officer requested. A tight smile came over my face as the woman released her and Raina ran over to me to give me the biggest heartwarming hug ever.

"Ms. Rena, I can't tell you how sorry I am for this interruption. We just take phone calls such as...what they called for really seriously and we didn't realize this was the same woman that makes random calls on black people. Again, we're absolutely sorry and tell Carmon to call me sometime, please," the officer said as he uncuffed me, gave me a polite smile, and moved the racist couple to a different part of the park.

As soon as that metal left from my wrists, I gave my sweet girl the biggest hug I had ever given her. She basically saved my life and I couldn't be anymore grateful. Of course, the wife was mad about being moved but the crowd around and police could see she was acting on pure ignorance.

Let's not forget that if Carmon hadn't slept with that man, this would have been a bigger problem. I guess you could say Carmon's lustful ways pay off in the end.

As the crowd clapped and sounded off with cheers, I chuckled while wiping this strong little girl's face as she said "Auntie Rena, I love you and Jasmine no matter how dark you two get. I promise. Mommy taught me that everyone just needs a little love in their life and I think you two should have the most of my love!"

Holding my girl so tightly felt so much better since she understood what just happened. She saw what was happening and she acted on it.

After all the tears were dried out, Loraina wiped my face and said "Can we talk about how this little boy tried to take my crackers?"

I couldn't help but let out a chuckle as we walked back to our tea party. She was one amazing child and that colorful personality of hers is what helps make the world a beautiful place. "Sure. You can tell me any and everything you want to."