Happy Freaky Friday, folks!

Can we just talk about that gender reveal though? Like what do you think about it? What are your thoughts?

Did you guys hear what Tiff and Carmon said? Lol they are something else.

Poor Rena. Still filling her time by trying to be there for her cousin. Do you think Rena will find love soon?

Well, we are back with another chapter for Screw Me Over and Jess is freaking the fuck out!

Please see the triggers that are in the summary of this book!

Anyway, you may continue! 💜🤫
****

Can you believe this shit?

Twins. Fucking twins.

And they aren't even both girls or both boys. They're one each. Fraternal is what they're calling it.

How the hell did I not see this shit coming? Why is this happening to me? You can't tell me to calm down when there's TWO babies in my stomach because not many mothers have twins.

Sure, there's women who have triplets and quadruplets. This is may be more common than that, but it's absolutely unexpected and none of us were ready for this. Not even Rena's happy ass.

I've had my experience with children. Trust me, I have, but how the hell did I fuck up with Leo like this? His sperm was like fucking leeches.

Hell, he was a leech himself so I'm not surprised that his baby-making tadpoles were alike. They suck up what they want just to leave you with the leftovers and it's usually shit.

Not saying that the twins would be shit. The whole result would be...well, shit. Jana and I never planned for an extra child...at the same time. It was so out of the ordinary. How do you have two babies at the same time? Doesn't that destroy the vagina and do both of them come out together just holding hands or some shit? Like how does this shit work-

"Babe, are you okay?" Jana said as she rushed inside to find me in the attic panicking about the news about a month after the baby shower.

Yeah, I know. It's been that long and I'm still freaking the fuck out. I'm a 20-year-old who's already had like 3 kids and I'm acting like a fucking chicken about twins, but this is so much more than just a stupid trick trying to come for my ass. I can fight that shit.

What I can't fight is two kids in my fucking stomach at the same time. Two kids...TWO KIDS. Fuck!

"Yeah, I'm alright," I lied as I tucked my hair behind my ear trying to seem nonchalant. Stupid on my part because Jana was like a psychic or some shit with my feelings. This different side of Jana seems to know every time I'm having a damn panic attack.

Walking towards the entrance, I was stopped by her dainty pale hands and her words. "Jess, you're not alright. You haven't been alright since you found out we were having kids. Sit down."

"Jana, I'm fine-"

"You can't tell me you're fine and you're really not, Jess. I've known you for way too long to see past that shit. We're both fucked in our minds right now. It's big news and it's hard to take in even after a whole month. We were just getting used to the house and having only one child. Two just seems like too much right now," Jana said as she sat down on the floor by a few old boxes.

Studying the way she sat, I struggled to sit across from her and asked "What are you trying to say?"

"I'm saying that this is all so overwhelming as hell. The wedding, the move, the pregnancy. It just seems like one of these things has to stop in order for the others to happen the way we want-"

"I see what you're saying. This pregnancy has been one hell of a pregnancy and I understand if you want to give these kids to a worthier family-"

"Who the hell said I wanted to give them up to a different family? Jess, we've been running away from this situation for five years straight. I'm tired of running. I said it seems like one of these things has to stop. I didn't say I wanted them to or that they were going to. They're all going to run and crash into each other, but I'd rather crash with my wife then my girlfriend. You hear that difference?" Jana started as she grabbed my hands and held them in hers.

Chuckling at her words, I shook my head at the idea of everything coming in at once and how much stress it's all put on us. It just felt so much better going through it with my lifelong partner that saw me as such.

Her forest green eyes pierced through my soul with a smile running across her face and a tear fell down my face. Damn it. Not again.

"Jana, what have I fucking done? I'm sorry," I said as my face fell into my hands and my sobs grew louder with each passing second. Yeah, I broke down at this point and I felt guilty as hell.

I just wanted something with Jana and I wanted it to be meaningful to the both of us. Our relationship wasn't a serious one in Jana's eyes and, for years, I've tried to get her to see that it was. I wasn't just a fling for anybody. I wasn't Carmon.

I wanted something serious, someone that wanted the same things that I wanted. I wanted Jana to want the same thing since we were already together but her old self was just taking up a ton of space in my life. I figured a baby was a last resort. Look how that shit backfired. Advice if you're trying to keep your partner around: DO NOT GET PREGNANT TO KEEP THEM AROUND. It doesn't work at all. Tested, tried, and failed.

"You were trying to get me to see that there was so much more to our relationship than just us fucking around with each other. Although you went about it wrong, it certainly got my attention. I'm not letting you go through all of this by yourself. This is now an engagement. A bond between two already shitty ass people that couldn't be broken. We're not the perfect family and I don't think we ever will be. To be honest, I think that's the best thing about our family," she said as she moved my hands away from my face and pulled me closer to have me lay in her lap.

I continued to sob a bit as she held me tightly. "It just hard, Jana-"

"And it's going to be. Plenty of people aren't going to like our relationship, our type of family, how we do things. We're not going to be the perfect parents or married couple, but that's the best thing about us. Being perfect takes too much work and it gets tiring. It gets boring. Maybe that's why life is the way it is. Because it's not fun if you know what's going to happen when it happens and it's always planned out for you. You learn nothing from it."

She grabbed the baby shower painting with pink and blue splattered all over the canvas just to smile at it as she studied it. "I'm willing to continue this disastrous road trip if you are," she said as she kissed the top of my head.

My eyes landed on the canvas with our future children's names on it and wiped my tears. The painting just meant so much more now than before. That we could both have what we wanted if we just compromised or it was just meant to bring us closer together. To see and be willing to love each other despite our differences.

"You're right. It's like a crazy painting. What one person sees as a fucked up painting, someone else sees as abstract. I'd like to continue with this abstract painting of a life we have," I said as she helped me up and she stood after me. She held my hand and helped me down the stairs as the painting stayed in my hand.

There was just something about Jana that made my toes curl and my heart do backflips. Even when we had our rough patches and shitty moments in our relationship. I just didn't know what it was that had me drawn to this woman. Maybe it was the fact that she was just as fucked up as I was and we both enjoyed our fucked up selves.

Once we got downstairs, we put up the painting together. She hammered two nails into the wall and we hung it up together. It was strange because I had never done that before. However, I loved the hell out of that.

"I love you, kitty cat," I said as I ran my fingers through her suddenly luscious red hair and smiled at her as she wrapped her arms around my growing body.

"I love you so much, Cupcake. But these two get more of my attention and love for now," she chuckled as she kissed my lips and moved down to my stomach to have a small chat with the two living beings in my stomach. As she placed a small kiss on my stomach, I couldn't help but laugh at her.

That was something new coming from Jana and I loved every millisecond. It just made my heart grow more for her and confirmed that this was something so real between us. Real love that was enjoyable and teachable. It was everything I wanted and more.

****

It was officially October and they started the Pride festivities pretty early this year. Pride is celebrated in June, however, it is also celebrated in October to go along with National Coming Out Day which is on October 11th. Did you know that President Obama declared for June to be Pride month back in 2011? Why? I have no idea, but hell. Every month should be a time to celebrate diversity, right?

As soon as we got to the big ass color party in the middle of the street, my eyes fell on so many people with smiles on their faces and enjoying themselves. Hundreds gathered together to celebrate being sexually free and loved the hell out of it. Rainbow leis, drinks, flags, and more decorated the streets as those hundreds of people danced around to the blasting music.

We just made it for the signaling kissing confetti to be shot in the air and Jana pulled me in her arms just to say "Come kiss me, you sexy angel."

She slowly pressed her lips against mine and I had to smile against her kiss as the confetti fell from the warm air and fell around us. I didn't have to open my eyes to know the kissing confetti was flowing around us like a beautiful couple kissing in the rain.

"Awww! That was just beautiful! A picture for the wedding album! You guys are just a beautiful couple," Rena said as we broke away from our kiss and just studied each other's smiles.

"Yeah, they're a bunch of finger pumpers alright," I heard Tiff say as she met up with us in the middle of the large crowd of people. As much as I wanted to jab her right in her strong manly jaw, I couldn't. Jana had my attention in that moment.

"Babe, I have to go see Carmon and Trent for just a quick second. I'll be right back. Don't have too much fun until I get back," Jana said as she gave me a quick peck on the lips and ran to find our lusty best friend. Why did her kisses taste different now? Like icing or something very sweet? It was hot as hell.

Once she left, I turned to Rena with a rainbow cocktail in her hand as Tiff ran away to Bryce. She was rocking back and forth to the music as she took a sip and I chuckled at her just vibing to the music. She spun me around as she said "Can you believe they make these around here? Jess, I love Pride!"

"Because of the drinks or because you can finally be yourself in front of people who won't judge you?" I spoke hitting a nerve from what I could see. Her face changed and she stopped rocking because she knew what I was saying was true.

There was always something different about Rena when it came to her sexuality, but she was always afraid to show it because of the family's religious beliefs. She didn't see it, but our family was more accepting of things now than they were before. Her mom and granny didn't want her to express herself like that, but they accepted my relationship. When I was younger, they didn't want our relationship being shown around their space.

Rena was just scared and confused. I didn't want to force that shit out of her, but it was evident that she was attracted to the people she had a strong emotional connection with. I blame her fear on those hypocrites and gossip bullshitters. Like their shit doesn't stink. Like they don't fuck around with the pastor or the first lady of the church as a way to give their tithes.

This is why Jana and I don't go to church. Unfortunately, people can't be themselves or love people in front of the Lord but he tells us to come as we are and to love his people. I don't understand that. Doesn't that sound backwards to you?

"Jess, this is the time to celebrate love, happiness, freedom-"

"Oh really? Freedom? Rena, are you really free? And I'm not talking race this time. I mean...do you think you're sexually free? Do you really believe you're free to love who you want and how you want?" I asked looking into her dark chocolate eyes.

She looked at me with a confused look and sipped on her drink more. Like she didn't know what the hell I was talking about. We all see it, but she doesn't want to talk about it. You ever notice how much she enjoys messing around with Carmon? In high school, many of her girl crushes were people she was close to. Only a few were celebs she could relate to because they were 'weird' as she calls it. She doesn't think we pay attention to this shit, but I keep my eyes on my favorite family member.

"Jess, what are you trying to say?" she asked finishing off her drink and putting it on the counter.

Rolling my eyes and sighing, I spoke with "Rena, this is your chance to celebrate your sexual freedom. Your freedom to love whoever the hell you want to and however the hell you want to love them. No matter if you're still wondering what you identify as or you already know. All I know is you're far from straight, sis. That's out of the picture no matter how much Tiff tries to shove the damn bible in your face and tell you that you love just men. I think you love everyone with a limit. Doesn't matter if they're a woman, a man, an alien, a tooth, a tree branch, whatever. What matters is that connection you have with them. If your wifi connection with them is weak as fuck, you aren't interested and you want a different service."

After receiving her second drink, she didn't look up from it. She just played with the straw and looked ashamed. Her whole demeanor changed a bit.

"Jess, I'm just here to celebrate with you guys. I'm not whatever-"

"BITCH PLEASE! Do we need to go over the whole list of girl crushes you had? Let's start with your little *ahem* thing with Carmon-"

"Okay! I get it and you barely explained it all. I don't know what it is. I just get...'excited' around people I really like. The family and the church would look at me like I'm the church clown and I just can't risk that. Plus, our people don't get down like that. You know that," she said as she took a sip of her drink.

"MISS ME WITH THAT BULLSHIT, RENA! There's tons of black people who identify as lesbian, gay, pan, asexual, and more! Don't go there. Rena, this is also a celebration for you as well. A celebration of freedom. You may not think this is your time to take it all in and accept it, but don't let anyone tell you different. You're not just here for us. Love that and everything else you are. Accept it," I smiled as she smiled back at me and sipped on her drink again.

As we hugged it out and hooked pinkies like we used to, a familiar voice sounded through my ears with "What's up, ladies?"

My eyes landed on a tall, light-skinned, happy-go-lucky Brian with his daughter in hand. Her brought smile and tanned skin glowed in the sunlight. She was too cute for words.

"Not much. What's going on, cutie?" I said as I smiled at Tiarria and gave her a hug.

"Aw, you're too sweet, Jess. I know you think I'm cute but you're kind of taken right now," Brian said with his cheesy remarks again. He better be lucky I was in a good damn mood. I'd probably sick Jana on him. He's scared of her after her past conversations with him about me.

"I'm going to let you guys talk for a minute," I said as I eyed Rena and Brian standing there awkwardly. Of course, Rena gave me the look of fear and didn't want me to leave but this was the perfect time for them to talk...or kiss. Shit. Rena and Brian in a relationship has been something we've been waiting on for a while now.

As soon as I walked off, I was attacked by my beau as she wrapped her arms around me and kissed me all over my face like she hasn't seen me in years. I placed my hands on the sides of her face and just stared into her beautiful emeralds, grateful that this woman was all mine. That moment there was all I needed to convince myself that I made the best decision of asking her to marry me.

As soon as we found a happy medium and just studied each other's loving faces, we heard gunshots being fired and Tiff ran up to us. Luckily, we weren't that far away from Rena and Brian so they could hear a panicking Tiff say "Guys, we have to get out of here! Heath and his clan have pulled up and they're here to kill. We have to go!"

"Where's Carmon and Trent?!" Rena called in distress.

"Trent's got Carmon right now. We just have to go NOW!" Tiff said as she lead us all out of the celebration and to a safe spot at least. As Rena called the police, I couldn't help but want to beat the shit out of that cowardly bitch. Could shoot a gun, but I bet his fists were weak as fuck.