Chapter 6
"I don't understand what's happened
I keep saying things I never say"

♥♥♥

HANA LOOKED AT her trailer through the window of Ray's truck and she hesitated as she clasped her hand over the door handle. Her eyes flickered to a rusted truck in the yard, knowing immediately that it was Jax's. The brunette didn't even realize Ray had been talking until she felt his warm touch on her arm.

"What's up, Donovan?"

She glanced over at him and she forced a smile onto her lips. Hana wanted to tell him everything that was going on with her, but she didn't want to be a burden and she knew if she got too close she would lose focus in the game. Especially now, she needed every penny she could get to stay far away from Carp, Texas.

"I'm fine," Hana replied as she grabbed her backpack and she waved at him, "See you tomorrow, Hall."

Ray sent her a nod, but she could tell he didn't believe her. Hana bit onto her bottom lip and she pushed the door open. As her eyes trailed back over to her trailer, seeing the dimly illuminated window, she climbed out of his truck. She turned around to watch him drive away, gripping onto the straps of her backpack tightly.

Hana wasn't sure why, but she silently wanted him to push her into fessing up. At this point, she felt as though she were going to burst. As much as she didn't want to admit it, Ray was right that time a couple of days ago. It was tearing her apart, having to keep all of this inside. Sure, she had Kelsey, but there was only so much she could complain about before it got annoying.

The girl let a soft sign fall past her lips as she turned on her heel and she walked up to the front door. Muffled words were heard that became more clear when she opened the door. Hana's eyes landed on Jamie who was knelt by Hana's door with a bobby pin, wiggling it in the lock. Jax stood behind her aunt as he encouraged her to get it open, but the two looked to the door once she walked inside.

A disgusted look appeared on her face as she walked over to them and she reached down to push Jamie, the woman landing right on her ass. "What the fuck, Jamie? What were you trying to do?"

Jamie looked as though she were getting worse by the day. She was wearing a crop top that looked like a small but was still big on her. Her ribs were very visible and her hair was even more thin than it was before.

"I-I-" Jamie stuttered as she got to her feet and she brought a hand up to push her hair out of her face. Then, it was like her whole demeanor changed. A paranoid look appeared in her eyes and she rushed up to Hana. "I need money. I know you're hiding it from me s-so just give me the money, Liv. I need more money before I run out."

Hana's eyes widened slightly, tears beginning to form at the brims. Jamie began to spaz out as she kept repeating the same thing over and over again, gripping Hana's arms tightly, tight enough to leave bruises. It was like the drug worked its way deeper into her aunt's brain, giving her illusions that Hana was her mother.

"Jamie," Hana exclaimed as she tried to push her aunt away. "It's me, Hana! Liv is dead."

"You're lying," Jamie shook her head as she took a step away from her niece. She shook her head as she ran her fingers through her hair, strands of it even coming out.

Hana shook her head as the tears streamed down her cheeks and she began to back away from the woman, a crazed look in her eyes. Jax looked just about the same, like he was ready to do whatever it took to get his drugs.

She didn't know what else to do but run. The girl turned around and ran out the door that she had luckily left open. Ignoring the yells of the two behind her, Hana let her feet take her far far away from the trailer. Once she knew she was safe, she slowed to a stop and looked around.

Hana's heart was beating so fast in her chest she thought it was going to burst out like the Kool-Aid man. She found a tree to lean against, slowly lowering herself until she felt the sweet relief of the ground. The girl pulled her backpack off and she opened a small pocket, pulling out a crumpled piece of paper.

"You call me if you have any trouble," Her grandmother said, giving the girl a warm hug.

It was the day of her parents' funeral and everyone was leaving. Once her grandma let go of the younger girl, she grabbed her hand and moved it palm side up. She placed that piece of paper in it and she sent her a smile.

"I'm only a couple of towns over, so if you need anything anytime just let me know, nieta."

Hana let out a shaky breath as she pulled her knees up to her chest and she flattened the piece of paper out onto one. She then grabbed her phone and entered the number before pressing the call button. If she wasn't so worried about Jamie, she wouldn't be doing this.

"Hey, abuela. It's me, Hana."

♥♥♥

IT HAD BEEN NINE DAYS. Nine days since the last challenge, and also nine days since Kelsey had spoken to her. She was pretty sure it was because she got left behind at the last challenge, but she also wondered if she was grounded since her mother was the one who caught her. Either way, she needed to find her and apologize.

Hana's grandmother showed up at their trailer the day after the incident. She was pissed at Jamie for doing that to herself, but also pissed that Hana hadn't said anything sooner. Jax was banned from the trailer for forever. Hana didn't mind this at all. She knew one thing; Jamie had never gotten into anything more than weed until Jax showed up.

That day was also the first day that Jamie would start her detoxing. Hana's grandmother prayed twenty-four seven as she helped her daughter. No matter how bad it got, the two stuck by Jamie's side. The effects were still wearing off and Jamie was still in a sour mood, but it seemed to be working. She even apologized to Hana for what was going on which was a big step in her grandmother's eyes.

On the not-so-bright side, this meant no drugs were to be in the house, and yes, that included weed. Hana had to 'get rid' of what was left, so she just stored it somewhere else. Abuela decided to stay for a couple more weeks just to make sure her daughter was well off.

After a long and grueling week, Hana's grandmother insisted that she went and had some fun. She was told that it was her summer, afterall. It just so happened to be the thirty-fifth annual Carp Fourth of July parade. The bitter-sweet holiday snuck up on her. It was something her parents always used to enjoy, whether they were going to fireworks or grilling out.

The only reason she was mainly going was to see if Kelsey was there and also, she was hoping to find a clue for the next challenge. It had been quite a while and she was beginning to grow worried. Hopefully the cops didn't find out too much information.

Hana walked out into the crowd, her eyes flickering to the parade with a small smile. She stopped once she saw a group of familiar faces, that being Bishop, Heather, Natalie, and Diggins. She made her way over to them, Heather sending the girl a big smile.

"Hey, guys," Hana said as she sent them a little wave, the others greeting her before returning to their conversation.

"It's been nine days, Diggins," Natalie pushed as Hana stood between the two girls, "Have you not heard anything from the judges?"

"Patience, grasshopper, patience," He replied, earning grumbles from the group.

As they turned to look at the parade once again, Hana tried to search the crowd for her best friend. There seemed to be no sign of her which annoyed Hana. If she were going to be anywhere that day, it would be here. She wondered if the other girl was avoiding her.

Diggins parted from the group as Hana pulled herself out of her train of thought only to be handed a tiny flag, which resembled the ones everyone else were holding. Well, besides the marker that had been used to write something on it. Natalie noticed this as the group began to walk away and she looped her arm with Hana's, dragging her along with them.

"Uh, guys?" Natalie stopped them and she motioned for Hana to hold the flag up.

"I mean, it's gotta be a clue, right?" The other girl asked as she looked at the others, the symbol of what looked to be a key written on it.

After talking for a moment, the trio decided to part ways with Hana to continue their patriotic fun. She couldn't get her mind off the clue as she sat down on the steps of a business, her eyes being glued to the key on the flag. The crowds began to disperse when the parade ended, signaling to Hana that she should take a break on thinking about their clue.

She pushed herself up from the concrete stairs only to pause once she saw a car covered in newspapers. There seemed to be a few kids standing around it only to run away when Hana began to walk over. The girl couldn't help the wide grin that spread across her lips once she read the newspaper, seeing that a few words in the headline were underlined.

"Spurlock farm," Hana muttered as she trailed her forefinger along the letters. "Breaking and entering... tomorrow, ten p.m."

"I remember John Davis Hale."

Hana jumped slightly once she heard a voice behind her, turning around quickly only to see Ray fucking Hall. She rolled her eyes playfully as he took the flag from her, sending the girl a wink in response.

"I see you're still taking the easy way when finding out clues," Hana told him, folding her arms across her chest.

"What was that quote," Ray took a step closer as he brought his free hand up to stroke his chin, "It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it."

"Someone likes Mrs. Lena Horne," Hana queried as she quirked an eyebrow once she recognized the quote, only to earn a chuckle from Ray.

"Nah, she was hot."

Typical. Hana laughed quietly and she shook her head at the man. A silence grew between the two as he studied her for a moment and he glanced around nonchalantly.

"So, what was up with you the other night?" Ray asked as he tilted his head to the side. Hana didn't know if she was seeing things correctly, but he actually seemed concerned. "I mean, no one's really seen you since that night. I even stopped by the snack bar and they said you haven't come in."

Hana pondered if she should tell him or not, but she knew one thing. If she didn't tell anyone, it would slowly eat her away and Kelsey wasn't around to confide in. Letting out a defeated sigh, Hana grabbed Ray's hand, ignoring the feeling of tingles shooting through her skin, and she tugged him into an alley.

"Well, Donovan, I never imagined our first time to be like this, but by all means," Ray let a smirk spread across his lips as he said this only to earn a groan from Hana in response.

"Do you want to know or not?"

This question shut the man up quickly and Hana began to chew on her bottom lip. How was she to know if Ray wouldn't run off and tell everyone? Her aunt was a meth-head, this being something that would easily travel quickly.

She realized that she hadn't said anything yet as Ray placed a hand on her arm, stepping so close she could feel the warmth that radiated from his body. Hana raised her head so she could look up at him and for once she felt like she could be herself.

"My aunt's been using meth," Hana finally murmured as her eyes dropped to the ground. She didn't want to see his reaction, knowing it would either be a repulsive or disgusted one, so she kept talking. "She always used to tell me that weed was fine, but to do nothing else. Everything else is addictive."

Ray's grip on her arm tightened gently and she finally worked up the courage to meet his eyes with hers. Without even saying anything, she realized he understood completely.

"Well, she started to bring around this guy, Jax-"

"I know that dick. Tyler stopped selling to him because he was a wack-job," Ray muttered with a shake of his head. To think Jax had been in Hana's house not only once but more than that.

"Still is," Hana replied with a shrug of her shoulders. "Well, the first night I met him they were already using it. Within days, Jamie became addicted and her body alone has become so bad off. Then, that night, when you dropped me off, I walked in to see them trying to break into my room."

"Jamie knew I hid my money from work, but until now she hasn't even asked about it," Hana continued as tears began to form in her eyes. She shook her head and she pressed her back against the brick wall behind it, Ray's hand falling from its place on her arm. "S-She just got paranoid and even mistook me for my mother. They looked so desperate for money that it scared me."

Ray's jaw clenched, not even wanting to hear the rest of the story as he shook his head. "They didn't hurt you, did they? Because if they even laid one finger on you I swear to fucking God-"

Hana wiped away some of her tears as she shook her head, hesitating before grabbing his hand. The two visibly relaxed as she did this, Hana blinking in shock. She then dropped his hand once he calmed down and she sent him a small smile.

"I'm not a dumbass, shithead," Hana said as she tried to lighten the mood, making Ray chuckle afterwards. "I ran out the door faster than I even came in. Then, I remembered when my parents died years ago my abuela left me her phone number just in case I needed it."

"Your what?"

"My grandmother," Hana replied with a soft laugh. "So, I called her and she came the next day. I never saw her angry until then. She threatened Jax so bad I swear he pissed himself. Ever since then, we've been working to get Jamie clean."

Ray nodded once Hana finished and he brought a hand up to brush some of her curly hair out of her face. "I'm just glad you're okay. You had me worried for a second, sweetheart."

Hana could feel the heat that began to rise in her cheeks as his thumb brushed across her skin. The girl absentmindedly tilted her head so her cheek could press against his palm which seemed to surprise Ray. The air shifted between the two and for a second, Hana could have swore he began to lean his face closer to hers.

Right when she could feel his warm breath fanning across her lips, smelling of fresh mint, the sound of bottles clinking tore them apart. A homeless man began to make his way down the alley with a bag full of beers in his hand, completely ignoring them.

Hana brought a hand up to scratch the back of her neck awkwardly and Ray cleared his throat. The Ray she was staring at literally seconds before had completely disappeared and he was back to his facade.

"Right, see you tomorrow, Donovan."

And with that, she was alone once again.

♥AUTHOR'S NOTE♥

Omg hii everyone!! First of all, thank you so much for almost 2k views! It's so exciting to see people reading my book, it makes me so happy :')

Also, sorry for the long wait. I've been caught up with college and since it's summer courses they're crammed up because it's only a little over three months to cover all of this information. Sooo, more homework (kms). I'm going to try to get more out quickly but please bare with me!

Again, thank you so so much for reading. I appreciate each and everyone of you!❤️