A/N: Hello loves! Just a little update for you. I'm sorry if it's messy and there are some mistakes, I wrote the last part while I was drugged up at the hospital ( hey, they give good stuff lol ) and I tried to edit as much as I could.

 Before we start, just a quick request. There will be a last part of this, but I can't decide. Will you help me? Just comment a number from 1 to 3, so it'll be easier to choose :) And now, enjoy.

I hope to be back in track soon, and hopefully have a Seeing Through update out next week.. I just need time at my laptop, which is annoyingly hard. Sigh. I'll see you soon! 

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Scott feels like he's been crying for years. In the end, it's been just a couple of hours, but he feels so spent that when he takes a look at the clock he's surprised to find out that it's still the same day. It shouldn't be possible to feel that much sadness in so little time.

He hasn't moved a single muscle in all that time - he's still crumpled on the floor, wearing only his boxers, his legs asleep from the weight of his dead body. His phone starts ringing, and he closes his eyes, hoping it would stop soon, but he has no such luck. It rings and rings but he doesn't move a finger towards it - he doesn't have the strength. He doesn't know how much more he stays like that, eyes fixated on the carpet, but he counts four missed calls and at least a bunch of texts. When his body finally remember that it's alive, he decides to stand up and move slowly towards the bathroom, not really thinking about what he's doing.

When he looks up in the mirror, after splashing cold water on his face, he barely recognize himself: his eyes are puffy and bloodshot, his nose stuffed from all the sobbing, his face red and tears streaked. Every single feature of his face screams heartbreak and pain and loss.

He pities himself. He closes his eyes and for a moment he wishes he could go back to when it all started, to avoid the painful feeling of his heart beating against his chest.

He goes back to his room, taking in his surroundings, his mind spinning with pictures of him all around: Mitch's body pressed on a wall; half hiding in the closet to help him choose an outfit; sprayed on the bed beside him, laughing at silly things; laying down naked, looking predatory and gorgeous and everything that Scott had ever wanted.

The last image that crosses his mind is Mitch's face, looking up at him, teary eyed for the pain he's about to inflict.

Scott suddenly feels like he can't breathe anymore. His chest is heavy and pressing from the inside, his ears are ringing and his whole body is numb, like he's not in control anymore.  He never experienced it before, but it doesn't take long for Scott to realize that he's having a panic attack. As soon as he recognize the issue for what it is, it starts to increase. He tries to relax and remember what they told him to do in this case - he forces himself to breathe. In and out, in and out, he sternly force himself to inhale and then exhale, trying to ignore the tears that are starting to fall again from his tired eyes.

Every breath feels like something is holding him too tight, his lungs are crumpled and it's hard to fill them with air. He tries to relax, starting to feel like there's not enough oxygen in his body - at least that's what he thinks it means the dizziness he's starting to feel.

He takes his phone, knowing that he needs help, but he stops before dialing any number, realizing he doesn't know who to call. His parents are miles away, and he doesn't want to worry them with the stupid decisions he had made in the last year. He scrolls his contact list, forcing himself to call someone, because he knows he can't deal with all of this alone. He needs a shoulder to cry on, someone understanding that would be there for him without judging.

The problem is that, if the situation involved someone else,  he would call Mitch. It doesn't matter what is name they choose to address their relationship - best friends, lovers, boyfriends - they need each other. It's scary to realize that, for the first time in his life, he can't rely on him.

That thought alone is enough to make him crumble again. He lets himself drown in pain some more, needing to swallow in his own pity, before he calls the only other person that he can trust. He can't bring himself to say more than "Kit, please, I need you" through shallow breaths.

It takes his friend only fifteen minutes to reach his house, and what Kirstie finds in front of her is unsettling, an apartment empty of the usual warm feelings - only filled with a broken Scott. She sits on the floor and hugs him without asking any questions, her chest shaken by his loud sobs. She closes her eyes as a tear rolls down her cheek, just listening to the painful sound of heartbreak.

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Scott opens his eyes feeling dizzy, tired and spent. It takes him a couple of minutes to realize he's in his bed, because he doesn't remember getting in. Kirstie,  he thinks, and for a moment his chest is filled with the warm feeling of affection for his friend - before he remembers why she was there in the first place. He stirs a little bit, feeling the beginning of a headache coming. He wonders how much time he slept - there's no light coming from the window. He hears her muffled voice echoing from the living room, and he's about to call her name when another voice makes his breath stop.

Mitch is home. His heart rate starts increasing quickly, a mix of feelings burning in his chest - sadness, relief, anxiety. He does not want to see him, and yet his company is the only thing he's craving right now. Before he can even process his emotions, he realizes that there is an argument going on in his living room, so he focus on eavesdropping.

" - after all we talked about, how could you?" He hears Kirstie's accusing tone, and he understands the context of the argument now. He's not sure if he wants to know any more.

"Kirst I didn't..what was I suppose to do?" Mitch's voice is pleading, begging for some kind of understanding.  It makes Scott feel sick in his stomach.

"Don't you dare! You fuçking knew about his feelings, and don't even try bullshitting me and say you didn't because everyone knows." Scott closes his eyes at this, ashamed of how obvious he has been for all that time.
"I -" Mitch tries to speak, but gets interrupted by the blonde girl, who's clearly very annoyed with his friend.

"No Mitch, there are no excuses. You knew. You're asking me what you were supposed to do, well, you shouldn't have had sex with him, no matter how attractive he is or how tempting it sounded. You shouldn't have  made him believe he was more to you than your best friend."

Hearing those words only makes everything real, and Scott is not sure he can survive another breakdown. He tells himself to breathe, to listen and be calm - he has to face reality, sooner or later.

"Do you think it's so simple? Do you think I never questioned myself? Besides, he's a grown up, he could have said no."

"I'm gonna slap you." Scott has no doubt she would. "He is in love with you. You offered him not only the mental connection you two already had, but the physical one that he missed. Do you really think it was a rational decision?!"

After her loud words a heavy silence falls on the apartment, and Scott wants to cry in frustration. He knows that that is a discussion he has to have with Mitch, but he's grateful to have Kirstie there to help him - he doesn't have the strength to face right now. Lost in his wondering he doesn't realize the two friends started talking again, and when he does notice he can only catch just a couple of confused words.

" -know what you want, but I don't know how to help you. I'm not even sure I want to." Kirstie's voice sounds angered, like she knows something more about this, and that rings a warning bell in Scott's mind.

"I just don't wanna lose him."

"You had to think about it before all of this."

"Just let me -" Mitch starts begging - Scott doesn't know what for, but his voice sounds so broken it makes him feel worse. It doesn't matter how bad he hurt him, Scott can't resist when his best friend is in some kind of pain, even if he does deserve it. Kirstie stops him again, her voice annoyed, making it clear that she doesn't want to talk anymore.

"Go. I need you to stay away for a while so I can fix the mess you've made."

There's another silence between the two friends, and as soon as Scott thinks Mitch has gone away, he hears sniffling from the living room. His heart clench in sorrow - for himself, for his best friend, for everything they have lost for sure. He closes his eyes, tight, allowing the tears - that have been building up - to fall, drawing a line on his cheeks and wetting his pillow. He sniffles quietly, matching the sound of his friend's sadness, and lets himself break again.

When, later in the evening, small arms encircles his body in a tight hug, he almost believe that they belong to Mitch. Just for a moment, he hopes. Then he shuts his eyes again, drifting into sleep, wishing he could wake up from this never ending nightmare.